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is anyone else a hikkikomori on this board? i've gotten to a point where i hate going outside due to my gender identity issues. i have some money to get by right now and i push myself through practicing art because thats seriously all i have, but i sink back into this pit of oblivion if i stop paddling even just for a sec. sometimes i go days without practicing any art and that's really a waste of time, especially since my money is gonna run out sooner or later (i saved up for it).
i've gotten to the point where i stopped gaming nor talk to my discord buddies anymore
im thinking of finally giving in and just taking antidepressants to deal with the loneliness and the disgust with my body. the only thing that will remotely make me happy is "making it" but i am not there yet. its hard but god fuckin damn i hope it's worth it. i just need something to numb the voices inside my head so i can keep practicing and being productive. and there's so many voices in my head.
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Why am I not janitor yet so I can remove the unwanted? I'm more than qualified damn it.
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>>2808337
>hikkikomori
Stopped yomimasing there, korose yourself faggot-sama.
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>>2808337
Are these threads reportable yet?
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>>2808337
>gender identity issues.
There's your problem. The stigmatization of "transgender" in modern western society has gotten to you as you attempt to fill the insatiable desire of feeling complete happiness with a material, physical want. Let me tell you right now-- you will never be happy if you continue going down that path. True happiness can only be accomplished with being the best version of yourself, sharpening up on the skills you have and adopting at least some form of spirituality or faith to rid yourself of nasty existentialism which tends to lead to outright suicide in most cases.
Never ever fall into the trap of material or physical pleasure leading to happiness. No matter how rich or poor or how many rewards you have, or how many set business or competitive goals you accomplished, or you just looking just the way you think you want, you will never achieve happiness and peace. Continue with art as a discipline, then slowly start adding more disciplines as a daily schedule, like exercising and waking up at 5 am.
Also, not art-related. Fuck off.
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>>2808337
>gender identity issues
Why don't you just neck yourself you attention seeking faggot.
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I think I know who this is
btw OP happiness is a myth, you'll never achieve it
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>>2808337
Before you even think about "making int" start by taking care of yourself and get into a good mood.
Go to bed at a regular hour each night, start jogging in the morning, eat healthy meals, just start taking care of yourself anon. Once you're healthy, your motivation will be greater and you'll work harder and better.
Don't force yourself to work through this while ignoring the actual person who's supposed to be doing the hard work, you.
So focus on yourself. Get into a mood mood listening to nice music, brighten up your apartment, treat yourself like a human being.
Once you're feeling better, you can get to work.
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>>2808520
This and take a low dose of anti depressants, they'll perk you up enough to wanna socialize again
Should really take it to the 3-4 depression threads that are always up next time
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