>watching 300 >pretty good >learn that it actually happened

That's a very shitty fantasy flick.

You got some shit taste.

Protip: it didn't.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Chronology_%28Fomenko%29

File: 234.jpg (7KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 225x225px

i have a persian buddy
i tell him that 300 is one of my favorite movies that is historically accurate

>>893949
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Chronology_%28Fomenko%29
Fucking russians.

>>893948
>You got some shit taste.
t.Ahmed Muhammed

>>893949
Holy fuck seriously

>>894003

But the good guys win and the Iranians win.

>>893949
I think the best comment about it can be found in the end of of the article:

>Aleksandr Zinovyev called The New Chronology one of the major scientific breakthroughs of the 20th century, less than a year before dying of brain cancer

File: 124124412.jpg (10KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 259x194px

>watching Band of Brothers
>pretty good
>learn that WW2 actually happened

>what the fuck.

>>893945
>movie based on a comic book based on a movie based on a novel based on Herodotus
>actually happened
>MMXVI

>>894117
keksos

File: rome_the_complete_series_5-630x354.png (356KB, 630x354px) Image search: [Google]

356KB, 630x354px

>watching Rome
>pretty good
>learn that it actually happened

>what the fuck.

>watching Children of men
>pretty good
>learn that it actually happening

>what the fuck.

File: whatthefug.png (11KB, 211x246px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 211x246px

>watching Täällä Pohjantähden Alla
>bretty good
>learn what actually happened
>whad dhe fug :DD

You have to wonder how they filmed it, I didn't know they had cameras in 480 BC

File: images.duckduckgo.com.jpg (308KB, 1542x1510px) Image search: [Google]

308KB, 1542x1510px

>>893945
Except it was STRAIGHTWASHED by Hollywood!
Those 300 men are supposed to be composed of gay couples!

>reading the bible
>pretty shit
>learn that people believe it

>what the fuck

>>894835
nigga spartans were homoerotic as fuq

In fact the gayer they got the more accepting they were of death

>>894831

greenscreens bro

>>894437
Wasnt it just some guys diary edited a bit and him guessing some events since he wasnt there for all of them?

File: images.jpg (15KB, 284x426px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 284x426px

>watched this
>guys charging machineguns head on
>platoon of infantry taking on a german mechanised battalion
>guys blowing up tiger tanks with colt 1911's
>it actually happened

MUUURIKA FUCK YEAR

>>894846
There was no overt same-sex romance between the soldiers in either the film or comic book though, when in fact they should have been 150 gay couples. Highly inaccurate.

>>894882
>Gay couples
I know they fucked each other in the ass but im under the impression they didnt form gay couples. You were still expected to marry and have children.

File: zzzjohnny.jpg (43KB, 242x251px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 242x251px

>reading post by John
>Shit was SO cash
>learn that it actually happened

>what the fuck.

>>894882

That was the sacred band of thebes which was comprised of pairs of bumchums. The Spartans were more into young boys.

>>894893
Pretty sure you're thinking of Athenians.

>>894893
No the spartans were bisexuals who were into soldiers.

>>895441
>>895512
He's right, you are thinking of the Sacred Band of Thebes. Those were officially homosexual couples.

Not saying Spartans didn't bumfuck each other.

Gay sex occurs more often during war than most people care to admit anyway.

>>893949
How does anything in that article show claims that the battle of Thermopylae didn't happen? Did you even read what linked?

File: Marble-statue-of-the-anci-007.jpg (22KB, 460x276px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 460x276px

There were probably a few thousand Spartan soldiers at Thermopylae; or more accurately, there were a few hundred Spartans and several thousand more helots, which were Spartan slaves.

The Persians probably didn't number 1 million, it was more likely several hundred thousand, maybe half a million at most.

It's still fucking amazing. Even with more realistic numbers on both sides, Thermopylae is one of the Holy Shit moments of military history. It's still taught in military schools as an example of how terrain can be a powerful force multiplier.

>>896627
From what I've read it was apparently 300 Spartans, about 2-3x helots, and around 10000 other greeks, most notably Thespians who also stayed and died with the Spartans.

>>893945
Just imagine that instead of 300 Greeks there were 7,000 and it isn't too dissimilar from how Herodotus portrays it.

>>894043
t. Fatim al-hundi

File: 300__Rise_of_an_Empire_44.jpg (94KB, 1280x675px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 1280x675px

>>893945
T. King of Persia

File: civilwar.jpg (37KB, 449x435px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 449x435px

>watching The Civil War
>pretty good
>learn that it actually happened

>what the fuck

>>896627
There wasn't even hundred thousand Persians in Xerxes invasion of Greek with the Persian military expedition. There were at least a 7200-11000 Greek forces holding Thermopylae.

And the Persians could not have had the power to project more then maybe 100,000 men total but in the actual battle? I severely doubt the entire Persian military of a hundred thousand men were pitted against a force 1/10th their size when Herodotus tells us the passages there were barely wide enough for a single chair or three men to walk side to side together.

>>896698
>300 Spartans
Try around 2000-4500.

>>893945
Stop making threads Synder, your movies suck.

>>896743
There actually were just 300 troops. Sparta couldn't offer anything substantive due to a religious taboo regarding the Carneia festival.

95% of the army was sent home upon the realisation that the Persians were using the mountain path to cut the army off from retreat, and the 300 (plus the helots and some unwilling Thebans) remained behind as a distraction.

>>896698
>300
No, it was much closer to 1500 as the king brought every unit that he could considering it was a festival season in Sparta and marching the whole army would have been improper.

>>893945
>watching Schindler's List
>pretty good
>learn that the Holocaust didn't happen

>what the fuck

>>896766
The main battle wasn't against the 300 Spartans but the 7000-11000 total Greek forces, the 300 stayed behind as a rear guard to buy time once they learned the Persians found out how to circumvent the pass.

Also even Greek sources imply the fact that before that the Greek units were able to constantly swap fresh men to replace engaged ones, implying very blatantly they had an excess of man power.

>>896790
Rear guard probably included at least 1000 helots with the Spartans, and supposedly another 1100-1500 Thebian and Thesbians who decided to stay with Leonidas.

>>896790
I think you misunderstood my post, I meant there were only 300 Spartan troops (i.e. Spartiate non-helot hoplites). I didn't mean only 300 soldiers.

File: tumblr_o2dq0aBU1a1rqqedro2_r1_1280.jpg (276KB, 607x924px) Image search: [Google]

276KB, 607x924px

To the people who sperg over 300's costumes, does pic related trigger you too? Or the countless Greek vases depicting naked men in battle?

>>896818
I just wanted to clarify that 300 Spartans were not the sole force fighting the Persians.

>>896841
It triggers people because stormfront tier faggots seem to think Greeks fought nude in actual battles, rather then realize that these are poetic and romantic licenses that are adding elements of fictional glorification to them.

File: 1410653490217.jpg (94KB, 572x598px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 572x598px

>>894142
HE WAS A CONSUL OF ROMA

File: 1398980661487.jpg (510KB, 1508x1083px) Image search: [Google]

510KB, 1508x1083px

>>896841
What do you mean?

File: 1416099793064.jpg (937KB, 2718x2008px) Image search: [Google]

937KB, 2718x2008px

>>896841

>>896790
>11000 total Greek forces

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Thermopylae#Greek_army

>the 300 stayed behind as a rear guard

THE THESPIANS STAYED WITH THEM

YOU FUCK

300 isnt suppose to be historically accurate its its a movie made to make everyhing seem as cool and epic as possible, its historically inspirated propaganda

its p good

>>897088
>its historically inspirated propaganda

you've never read the comic have you?

I'm not even going to fix your typo.

>>897088
>The director of 300, Zack Snyder, stated in an MTV interview that "the events are 90 percent accurate."

>Sparta
>Stay at home like faggots while Alexander the Great conquers Persia with the rest of Greece
>End up as a Roman tourist attraction

Where did it all go wrong

>>897137
>Zack Snyder

File: 10295935_312282725563094_3124232393494880354_o.jpg (50KB, 978x550px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 978x550px

>>894081
>when Russian autism is so strong that it gives you cancer and become kill

best timing ever

>>897140
Sparta was a bit too up its own ass to go parading off over the horizon on such a fools errand as Alex's campaigns.

...as much as I love Uncle Alex.

And Sparta tho. Crazy pre-communist authoritarian communists. No personal property, no private wealth, the entire society raises every kid, breeding idealized masterrace, holy fuck they were about 3000 years ahead of their time. We can't make any of that shit work today bc muh emotions & self interest.

>>897221
Arguably Sparda didnt work very well either. Since their main army was composed of highly exclusive nobles they had a bit of a problem with their army size. Plus if they lost a war they were fucked because good luck getting back your numbers.

>>896743
You have no idea that there weren't well over 100,000 Persians because no one else knows there weren't either. Estimates are from 70,000 to 320,000, which is a wide enough margin of error on a figure that it's essentially meaningless! & only serves to indicate that there were "a lot of Persians".

Pretending you know better than every historian on earth one way or the other will get you nowhere.

>>896850
so is the movie you gigantic fucking nigger

300 is about aesthetics, who gives a flying fuck about historical accuracies

>>897234
Yah took Rome quite a while after losing a 2-generation army and its equestrian class fighting Carthage. At some point people are looking around realizing there are no men left between about 80 and 14 years of age, and no one to raise them on the critical culture that makes Rome Rome. Whoopsie.

>>897221
actually the spartans were proto fascists in every single way

File: 1458781854889.jpg (82KB, 750x738px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 750x738px

>>894864
>watch saving private ryan
>assume it's going to be some kind of Forrest Gump type movie, like a buddy movie with Tom Hanks going through Europe having a grand old time
>that fucking opening
>that entire fucking movie

Jesus Christ I thought it was going to be a comedy I've been so wrong in my life

>>897255
Germany and Russia had that happen after a pair of world wars too. A couple lost generations there, followed by oh shit, we gotta rebuild our population, and our culture, and our economy, and our military. ...and in Russia's case, while somehow funding an economic an scientific war against the wealthiest nation on earth for about half a century.

Honestly it's impressive as hell that the Russians fared as well as they have, given the last century, ok 2 centuries, ok 3 centuries, of the world and their own leaders relentlessly pounding them down.

>>897243
>Pretending you know better than every historian on earth one way or the other will get you nowhere.

Oh the irony.

>>897234

If.

>>897277
Sadly you dont beat better city states with memes.

>>897275
By what twisted brand of logic is saying not to claim shit you can't possibly know, the same as you claiming to know things no one else knows?

Let me guess, the same twisted logic that had you claiming to know how many were in the Persian army in the first place...

>tfw people don't get that the movie is based on greek exaggerations

>>897270
True, and Russia didn't have the benefit of USA taking the sum of the amalgamated wealth of the British empire (good score btw USA, well played) and reinvesting it back into rebuilding Europe. Russia had to rebuild from scratch, on the taxes raised by fucking beet farmers on the steppe. Makes it even more amazing they were able to build a space program, more yet one that worked, and more yet one we still use to this day when our own collapsed under its own cost.

>>897295
I think its especially funny how Iranians got butthurt about it.

File: calvary.jpg (200KB, 662x929px) Image search: [Google]

200KB, 662x929px

>watching The Last Samurai
>pretty good
>learn it actually happened

>what the fuck

>>893945

the only good thing to come from 300 was the dank memes.

>>897243
>>897289

Holy shit you are retarded. The Persians were previously a completely semi-nomadic pastoral people only 60 years earlier and organized into about half a dozen or so different affiliated tribes and clans and now they have the manpower in what constitutes basically barely two generations to field enormous size armies of hundreds of thousands of men?

No, it doesn't fly you autistic fuck. Especially with your backpedaling nonsense using Greek sources that mainly relay on second and third hand accounts and Herodotus and other Greek historians making numerous errors with Persian numbers, terms, and omitting other factors entirely.

You are ludicrous.

Kill yourself.

>>897221
But they lost in the end.

File: 1453003296535.jpg (39KB, 600x568px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 600x568px

>watching two girls one cup
>pretty good
>learn that it actually happened

>what the fuk

>>897335
it wasnt just persians fighting in the army though

>>897505
And? There's still nothing that supports 300k army size or anything close to that for the matter.

>>897335
You DO realize that the persians had men from as far afield as ehtiopai and baktria in their land forces, right?

The navy contained a fuckload of greeks,

Had they put the greeks on the gound, they'd probably have slaughtered the allied army at platea outright.

>>897516
The Persian navy was mainly and overwhelming composed of Phoenician and Egyptian sailors and vessels, not Greeks.

No it did not. Nor do you acknowledge the other factor that Xerxes and his father before him, Darius, had to main military garrisons and fortifications across the provinces and there is no element in any Persian record from Achaemenid times that suggest the majority of their military was based around foreigners.

>>897516
Anon, he thinks the Persians popped out of nowhere in an empty field.

Apparently has never heard of the enormous Assyrian, Achemenid, or Meadean empires that piles up and amalgamated all the horse tribes that washed up on the steppes southwest shores over centuries, or the enormous trade routes they'd established out of Asia all the way to fucking Spain. When Darius wanted a big body count, he went right ahead and had himself one.

>>897515
you stated its impossible because
>The Persians were previously a completely semi-nomadic pastoral people only 60 years earlier and organized into about half a dozen or so different affiliated tribes and clans and now they have the manpower in what constitutes basically barely two generations to field enormous size armies of hundreds of thousands of men?
which is not important since its not just about those persian tribes but the entire territory that persia owned at the time
300k may be viable;not saying that it definitely was hundreds of thousands though

>>897529
He's also denying the presence of ionian Greek ships, baktrians, and ethiopians in the persian army, which is fantastic in and of itself.

He's also conducting a WONDERFUL straw man argument.

You go ahead, i'm just going to watch this play out.

>>893949
WHat.

>>897537
Its not viable at all. You are suggesting the Persians relied on massive numbers of foreign and non-Iranian manpower in their armies, there is no record or evidence of this.

>>897529
Assyrians never constituted a major population outside of a single sub-provincial satrap district in Achaemenid period. The Medians are Iranian, and the only attestment to this from the recently recovered administrative and clerical tablets (several thousands of them and many which deal with military matters) refer to the Medes being as preminent in the Achaemenid military as the Persians.

Which isn't surprising because Cyrus was the last Median King, Astyages, maternal grandson and half-Mede himself. However we still have no idea the size or population density of the lands and territories the Medes themselves ruled. On top of that even as early as the Persian Revolt against the Medes by Cyrus, you have hyper inflated numbers from Herodotus that literally bend the notions of reality claiming Cyrus was fielding armies as large as 100,000 strong against his grandfather and the Lydians under Croesus.

There's no real evidence the Achaemenid armies were anything other then formed around a core of professional soldiers and elite units that were manned by Persians and Medes. If auxiliaries were used, their primary duty was garrison or security purposes in the Persian satraps by the governors.

And its noted by many academics when it comes to Herodotus in general talking about Persian numbers in either invasions of Greece that he neglects a great many things such as never making it clear if he is referring to Persian marines as the same as infantrymen, or counting even caravan and baggage officers with the soldiers.

>>894022
>>894046
>>894081

If russians will win the war our kids will learn thiss useless tripe.

>>897558
No one is denying anything of anything, my fallacy misusing friend. I'm asking for proof of Herodotus' exaggerated claims of hundreds of thousands of men in Persian armies invading Greece, evidence to back it up, and your nonsensical claim that Greeks made up the majority of the Persian navy when even Greek sources themselves state Egyptians and Phoenicians were the ones who built and crewed the very of Achaemenid warships.

>>897563
lol
2 lines in and I'm bowing out of this particular tornado of redardedness or I'll be here all night.

>>897591
>lol
You have to be 18 or older to post on 4chan.

>>897563
>You are suggesting the Persians relied on massive numbers of foreign and non-Iranian manpower in their armies
it doesnt have to be massive numbers,again im not saying that the persian army was hundreds of thousands of men,we know at least that the persian navy was primarily phoenician,what is to say that xerxes didnt use foreigners in his army?its only logical to supplement your troops with at least some outsiders
there is an enormous difference between no foreigners at all and at least a few regiments of recruited from the many satrapies

>>893945
Anyone else want to see the Dan Carlin produced Herodotus directed version

>>897607
There is a world of difference having two peoples which have always been on par with the Greeks in terms of naval abilities (Egyptians and Phoenicians) and utilizing them as your naval ratings and sailors vs suggesting the Persians army were majority non-Iranian/foreign reliant.

Also even if Xerxes I took a 1000 men from each of the satraps with him to augment the core Persian-Median Immortals and Companions, that still wouldn't lead to 300,000+ men.

The only way this works is if Greeks like Herodotus were literally counting every single man in the Achaemenid invasion of Greece as being part of the Persian military. Which is probably what he did and therefore erroneously claims why the Persian force was so "massive".

>>897627
>suggesting the Persians army were majority non-Iranian/foreign reliant
nobody is saying that
>that still wouldn't lead to 300,000+ men
again didnt say it was 300k+ troops
>The only way this works is if Greeks like Herodotus were literally counting every single man in the Achaemenid invasion of Greece as being part of the Persian military
which they were
youre arguing with yourself mate

>>897635
>youre arguing with yourself mate
Come again?

>>897640
i had to correct you three times that im not saying the persians had 300k+ men
youre putting up a strawan hence arguing with yourself...mate

File: 20131110190401-d01323dc-me.jpg (84KB, 342x594px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 342x594px

>>893945
>sees the hot gates
>>YFW

fucking hell, doesn't the great king know we're a cavalry army?

>>897394
It didn't, that was injected chocolate. It was. Right? R-right? Guys?

>>897664
You know that regardless of how good a cavalry force is, the worst kind of enviroment to deploy them is in a narrow rocky or mountainous terrain right? Persians main strength were their professional light-armored mobile infantry and their horse archers and cavalry but the latter two were restricted on Greek land.

>>897257
There was some comedy:

https://youtu.be/1pcbPGENImg?t=3m29s

My penis was harder than there armor

File: 300.Rise.of.an.Empire.2014.1080p.BluRay.x264.YIFY_4.webm (1MB, 930x388px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 930x388px

>>898379
armor saves lives senpai

>>893949
>>894022
>>894046
>>894081
>>896605
>>897560
The shits actually interesting and plausable. But whatever.

>>898412
>interesting
yes
>plausible
no way in hell

>>898412

>Plausible

So you think it's a coincidence that the author is Russian and that it claims that Russians were responsible for every notable progression in society up to the middle ages and that Ukranians, Belarusians, Mongols, and so on are actually no different that Russians and are all collectively deluded?

>>898412
>plausible
Spot the russian.

>>898416
Don't forget how the Russians didn't spend almost all of recorded history being totlal irrelevant, or how the centuries of mongol slavery never occurred.

there were a few spartans there. what the movie really kind of glosses over, is that there were thousands of other greek soldiers there too.

>>894142

HE WAS A CONSOLE OF ROME!

File: image_1.jpg (783KB, 2504x3353px) Image search: [Google]

783KB, 2504x3353px

>>897312
This

>>893945
>>896627
There were probably around 100 Spartans and max 500-1000 Persians (and I probably still overguessed it).

Ancient battles were relatively small.
Every ten years they added some extra soldiers to the story to make it more epic.
I'm not even kidding now.

Sorry to burst your bubble, guys!

File: 1433487926523.jpg (133KB, 726x677px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 726x677px

>>894003
Triggered

File: 1-3a-spartan-warriors-mantinea.jpg (128KB, 783x1023px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 783x1023px

>>897609
Fucking love the king of kings series.

File: 1339377652057.jpg (27KB, 343x498px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 343x498px

>>898609
Bullshit, the Sumerians fielded armies in the thousands centuries before that. The persians alone had several thousand porters.

File: agNmQEg_700b.jpg (50KB, 460x473px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 460x473px

>watching 9/11
>pretty tragic
>learn that jet fuel actually can't melt steel beams

>what the fuck.

>>898407
Why are all the Persians erupting in tomato juice?

>>898645
>le "Sumerians" maymay

You mean Babylon.

File: 4517670622_47077e96d6_b.jpg (535KB, 1024x689px) Image search: [Google]

535KB, 1024x689px

>>898789
>" you mean Chaldeans"

Fuck Babylon, Nanna favors the lugal of Ur.

File: image.jpg (197KB, 798x770px) Image search: [Google]

197KB, 798x770px

>actually believing films' historical accuracy

Western culture can never stop circle jerking about the Ancient Greek and Romans.

Anyone have a cap of that anon who lost his girlfriend and broke her finger because of the movie?

>>895441
That's the biggest misconception from this shitty movie. Historically, Athenians were probably the ones mocking Spartans for being too much into little boys, Spartans probably mocked Athenians for placing too much value on women.

>>898412
New Chronology(not the Formenko's one though, this one was called phantom time I think) was heavily discussed topic in the west during 80's but it led to several minor changes in contemporary chronology and proving that the author cherrypicked everywhere.

That being said what makes Formenko's point completely irrelevant is obvious vatnik nationalism steaming from it. While his point that historians may have duplicated some events can be true before the coinage becomes common finding, you simply can't treat a guy who makes up shit as retarded as Hwan Empire or whatever the /his/ meme is(except /his/ meme is ironic, this guy isn't).

Now if some guy would come up with the conclusion that some Egyptian dynasty was shorter than we thought it was and show some archaeological evidence(for example showing that 2 rulers irl. were one guy who changed his name) for it it wouldn't surprise me, but Formenko never did such thing, he did wonky mathematics, said that commonly used dating methods are all wrong and wanted everybody to listen to him.

Well, I did it, took one for the team, jumped on the grenade, offered my belly to the bayonets--in other words, sat through 300, the comic-book movie about Thermopylae. The only reason this thing got made is that it makes good anti-Iran propaganda, because as every war fan knows, at Thermopylae "300 brave Spartans held off the entire Persian army."

Zack Snyder's movie is the "Hoo-ah!" version of this story. Every time the Spartan king Leonidas makes a "rousing speech," his warriors yell "Hoo-ah!" like the Rangers in Mogadishu in Black Hawk Down. Actually the Spartans had a rep for silence, but we're not dealing with great historical minds here.

What had me really wanting to puke is that this movie tries to make Sparta into some kind of Land of Hallmark Card-givers. There's about an hour's worth of perfume-ad scenes where Leonidas and his lovey-dovey wife, a feisty lady in one of those bondage-lite Greek dresses, cuddle and make eyes at each other and say patriotic stuff by way of foreplay. Yeah, that's why you see those bumperstickers, "Sparta was for lovers."

Fact: Sparta was about as romantic as North Korea. Give or take a little egalitarianism, Sparta WAS North Korea. Spartan laws did everything they could to break down the family. Sparta was more anti-nuclear family than any Hollywood liberal could ever be.

Wanna know what a Spartan wedding night was really like? It's pretty hilarious, in an insane way. As soon as a Spartan girl got her first period, they grabbed her, shaved her head, dressed her as a boy, threw her down on her new husband's bed, and then, well, he had his way with her. What way was that? Since hubby had been in an all-male dorm since age seven, I'm betting that that night of lovin' was more like a skinny white boy's introduction to San Quentin after lights-out than it was like a chick flick. So when this movie shows the Spartan hero saying to his wife, "Goodbye, my love," I just had to laugh.

>>899109
No Spartan ever told his wife he loved her. That would've been like treason, because the Spartan rulers wanted family ties snapped, so the only bond left was to the state. They left room for folks' natural urges by letting the women drink, which they did non-stop, and the men form what you might call close comradely bonds with their fellow soldiers.

In the ancient world, gay was a matter of who was on top. If you were a topper, that was fine; if you were the one getting in the ass, not so cool. In other words, prison rules. Sparta's leather-bar ways were a running joke to the ancient Greeks. The Spartans were stone killers - but they also preened like teenage girls before a battle. They grew their hair long, and before a fight they'd comb it, oil it, try out fetching new styles, put little baubles in their ears, anything to die young and leave a beautiful corpse.

None of that in this movie. Just the opposite. The script even has Leonidas taunt the Athenians calling them "boy-lovers." Athens, the true hero of the war against Persia, gets dissed time and again in this movie. You won't hear a word in 300 about Salamis, the real decisive battle of the war - because it was Athens, not Sparta, that destroyed the Persian fleet at Salamis. The Spartans wanted to run away from the Persian fleet and wall themselves off in the Peloponnese (you wouldn't believe how many times I've messed up the spelling on that damn word). They didn't have a clue about combined-arms operations (which the Athenians handled durn well). In fact, the Spartans, who are called "the finest soldiers in history" over and over in this movie, were a mediocre, one-dimensional, inflexible military force.

>>899111
Sparta understood only one kind of fighting: land battle, the hoplite shield-wall - a Big Ten offense from the old school, "three yards and a cloud of dust." In any shield-wall vs. shield wall battle, the bigger offensive line will break the opposing team's wall, leaving them open to massed spear thrusts. Once the opposition's wall was broken, the citizen-soldiers would scatter to fight another day - a totally sensible reaction, since the alternative was annihilation. In battles like that, psycho varsity offensive-line types like the ones Sparta bred did just fine. But vary the conditions of battle in any way, and they were as helpless as Woody Hayes' Ohio State teams were against a team that could stop the run.

So it was actually fairly easy to stymie the Spartans: just put them in a situation where they had to think for themselves. Imagine a Spartan army up against a Mongol scouting force. Even if the Spartans outnumbered the Mongols by, say, 4-1, I'd have no hesitation betting on the Mongols. They were truly tough, not artificially hardened by sick PE games but by life in the saddle, on the steppes. And they were smart enough to realize that smarts count on the battlefield, that negotiation and alliance-building, scouting and propaganda are all important aspects of war. Only amateurs are dumb enough to think that being dumb, mean and inflexible like the Spartans is the route to military success.

>>899114
The Thebans under a really brilliant general, Epaminondas, crushed the Spartans in the battle of Leuctra (371 B.C.) because Epaminondas just plain out-thought those lummoxes. He knew exactly how the Spartans would stack their forces in battle order, because they always did it the same way. So he tinkered with the conventional phalanx-stacking set-up and those Thebans, most of them ordinary Greek citizen-soldiers, mere amateurs by Spartan standards, kicked Spartan ass right down the line. The Helots, the locals the Spartans had enslaved and terrorized for generations, finally got a chance for payback and Sparta withered away to nothing. Game over.

Only amateur fascists admire Sparta guys; they're still pissed off because people like me dared to warn them the Iraq war was going to be a disaster. Now the neocons have gone so over the deep end of delusional thinking that they've resorted to fantasizing about Sparta, where nobody ever argued, where everyone yelled and stabbed and otherwise kept their mouths shut.

It's downright hilarious the way this movie punishes every smart character. Every time someone wants to argue with the war party in this movie, he's evil. Everybody who talks in a normal tone of voice is evil. Snyder shows two scenes where the Spartans murder Persian envoys arriving under a flag of truce. And both times, you're supposed to cheer.

Since when do Americans cheer when truce parties are murdered? Well, that's pretty easy to answer, actually: since Iraq. These diehard neocons have gone insane because there's no way they can argue for an invasion of Iran any more. But they still want it, bad. So they've taken a crash course in fascism, jumping all the way to cheering for Sparta and booing for Athens - because Athens stands for brains and flexibility and talking things out. They can't win the argument, so they want to kill anybody who tries to argue. That's why Leonidas kicks the Persian envoy down a well.

>>898609
I think 300 was manageable for armies back then. Persian numbers are obviously ex-aggregated as I can see no way in which they could supply them, let alone organise a draft of army this huge.

It may have been 10000 to 300 or something like that, but not the hundred of thousands Greeks were talking about.

>>899117
The film only approves of two things:
1. Yelling
2. Bashing.

I say "bashing" because you can't call his view of military operations "strategy" or even "tactics." It's just close-ups of Leonidas's teeth while he yells about "freedom." He talks about "freedom" non-stop. I'm serious. A Spartan! Talking about freedom! Leonidas actually says, and this is a quote, "Freedom isn't free"! I thought I was back watching Team America: "Freedom isn't free/It costs a dollar ninety-three..."

But here's what's really interesting about Leonidas's "freedom" speeches: every one happens just after he's thrown some envoy down a well or stabbed somebody who advocates talking strategy. That's the real fantasy here: wouldn't it be great if we could just yell "Hoo-ah!" non-stop and just kill the naysayers? You can almost see the pitiful dweebs behind this movie jacking off every time his musclebound Spartan hero kills another envoy or politician. That'll shut'em up!

Well, it might be fun but it's not war, fellas. If there's one thing we shoulda learned from Iraq, it's that in asymmetrical war, the following items are totally useless, in fact worse than useless, because they get in the way:

1. muscles
2. "Hoo-ah!"
3. killing anybody who points out the flaws in your plan.

Contrary to what amateur fascists think, the really successful military elites encourage discussion, train mid-rank officers to react independently, and discourage yelling, steroid use and macho bullshit in general. Hell, even the Wehrmacht was filled with calm, polite and cultured men. We could use a few of them now.

Petraeus seems kind of like that, but by this time the situation's so awful I'm not sure how much he can do. At least maybe it'll shut up all the "Hoo-ah!" jocks, make them realize they're not fit for theater command, and get them back to their true calling: coaching high-school football. In this movie's case, Junior Varsity.

File: 1-new-thermopylae.jpg (51KB, 438x600px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 438x600px

>>899120
You're just buttmad about Notium, Athenian.

>>899109
>>899111
>>899114
>>899117
>>899120
None of what you posted is true
Also
>>>/pol/

>>894888
10/10

>>899238

Contradict a single thing he posted, stormfag.

Oh that's right, you can't.

>>898723
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzF1KySHmUA
Combine with the structural weakening of high temperatures and the fact that 1,000,000 lb metal aircraft crashed into the structure bending it's support. . .

File: 1456189000079.jpg (131KB, 960x686px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 960x686px

>Watch Kingdom of Heaven
>awesome shit
>learn that it actually happened

>RETAKE THE HOLY LAND

>>894069
the good guys lost, persians had every right to fuck the weak greek sissys over after the athenians started getting in their face

>>898637
lol those guys are dyel as fuck

>>900020
Everyone is dyel without deca/dbol lets be honest now.
inb4 just eat clen and tren hard

File: 14232757191.png (10KB, 429x410px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 429x410px

>>898367
This shit makes me emotional.

>>894081
Implying the idea was so bad it gave him brain cancer.

>>893949
The New Chronology is a fringe theory regarded by the academic community as pseudohistory,

Off to a solid start there bro.

Goering even made a speech about it in 1943, comparing the axis forces at Stalingrad to the spartan warriors at thermopylae

>>899086
Pedantry was more or less an institutionalized concept in Sparta in particular and Dorian Greeks in general. The Athenians and their allies literally ripped on them for this.

Lysander was infamous for example.

>>896766

No there were at least 300 spartans and their attendants and freedmen and then there were thousands of other greeks and their attendants as well

>>894835
>Those 300 men are supposed to be composed of gay couples!

Wrong 300 men. This is not the Sacred Band of Thebes.

>>894835
The words you are looking for are: Sacred Band

>>894043
>pre-Islamic Persia
>Ahmed Muhammed
Disgusting.

>>896862

Austin Powers intro tier genital covering.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVNCVDlANTs

>>897295
>>tfw people don't get that the movie is based on greek exaggerations

The sequel could have been awesome if they took it more or less straight out of Herodotus like they did with the first one. It should have been from the Athenian point of view. But they fucked it up by making it from the Spartan point of view, which should have been irrelevant.

>>894888
Quality. Nice trips, too.

File: 1442625276225.jpg (69KB, 960x720px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 960x720px

>>896841
>tfw your body looks exactly like this but with slightly bigger arms

>>897088
thats a very big 10%

>watching holocaust flick
>pretty good
>Learn that it didn't happen

>red pilled

>>899117
>The Thebans under a really brilliant general, Epaminondas, crushed the Spartans in the battle of Leuctra (371 B.C.) because Epaminondas just plain out-thought those lummoxes. He knew exactly how the Spartans would stack their forces in battle order, because they always did it the same way. So he tinkered with the conventional phalanx-stacking set-up and those Thebans, most of them ordinary Greek citizen-soldiers, mere amateurs by Spartan standards, kicked Spartan ass right down the line. The Helots, the locals the Spartans had enslaved and terrorized for generations, finally got a chance for payback and Sparta withered away to nothing. Game over.
>Only amateur fascists admire Sparta guys; they're still pissed off because people like me dared to warn them the Iraq war was going to be a disaster. Now the neocons have gone so over the deep end of delusional thinking that they've resorted to fantasizing about Sparta, where nobody ever argued, where everyone yelled and stabbed and otherwise kept their mouths shut.

...Donald?

>>900308
>Pedantry was more or less an institutionalized concept in Sparta in particular and Dorian Greeks in general.

Do you mean pederasty?

Because pedantry means something else.

>>900622
I was typing from my phone, so yes.

>>893945

The best part of the film is that Spartans would have loved it.

>>893949
Best fiction i've read this week. Does /lit/ know?

>>893945
>watching Backdoor Sluts IV
>pretty good
>learn that it actually happened

>what the fuck

>>900613

It's like my man Napoleon said (paraphrased)

Fifty warriors will defeat fifty soldiers. But five hundred soldiers will defeat five hundred warriors.

>>893949
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Chronology_%28Fomenko%29
Top kek, this is finno korean hyper war-tier bullshit.

>>900703
exactly
Why in Greek terms it is the most accurate.

>>900782

I know, right?

If they pared it down to the most sober and definitive details, it wouldn't be anything like a Greek story. The comic did a decent job of trying to write for Spartans; but I think the film is more like the Spartans wanted to be, so they'd prefer it as a story.

>>900000

File: smerdis.jpg (8KB, 160x162px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 160x162px

>>899109
>magus detected

>>900816
Fuck off Miller.

>>899109

>people who still believe the nuclear family is how families normally look

You have to first break the family down to that point.