What the fuck are protestants >be 8, 2004, bible belt, Bush

>>3263017
>it's another "religiotard with no self-awareness calls other religiotards retarded" episode

>>3263017
I go to my mum's church on Mothers Day every year and it's pretty much exactly this.
>can't tell if they're covers or knockoffs of Hillsong songs because they all sound exactly the same but the band plays before and after the service
>everyone jumps and reaches their hands to them
>band also plays quietly behind the pastor when he's saying something uplifting or inspiring.
>They barely read the bible or talk of it, it's mostly the pastor or speaker asking the audience to relate something in their life to God's influence or to praise him
>these often play out like amateur stand-up
>more music
>people muttering "Amen" constantly
It's definitely odd. My uncle is a Baptist and his church only let the women start wearing coloured clothing a couple years ago.

>>3263072
It's also in a warehouse in the industrial part of town. It looks nice enough on the inside but doesn't really give much of a church vibe.

>>3263030
Atheism is the fastest shrinking religion in the world and couldn't even stand up to a few pictures of a fat guy wearing a hat.
Get used to it, athiestcuck. Your time is done.

That's how Traditional Catholics view normal Catholics

>>3263089
>saying something this malevolent and ill-willed and claiming to be a Christian

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>>3263089
Atheism is growing in absoulute numbers, and it's growing in absolute and relative numbers in the civilized world. Religion is growing thanks to third world shitholes.

>[By 2050] Four out of every 10 Christians in the world will live in sub-Saharan Africa

This is the future of christshit

>>3263017
>Be me
>southern baptist
>can't relate

>>3263089
>>3263230
As an agnostic, you are both overly emotional retards

>>3263017
1% of the population is truly intelligent. Who knows which onption it is though?

>>3263251
Cringe

>>3263251
Agnosticism has literally no good arguments for it.

>>3263251
Neato the radical centrists of the theological world decided to chime again. I feel blessed

>be me
>methodist
>read this
>wtf
>it's like a great value church
>can't relate

>>3263309
I think it was evangelical or something

>>3263251
Take a side you weak-willed pussy.

>>3263017
And these are the people who call you a fedora faggot on an anonymous imageboard.

>>3263321
>picks a side
>NOOOO NOT THAT SIDE WRONG SIDE UGH

>>3263321
First explain how denying the dogmas of the abrahamic religions denies the idea of designed creation.

If you're not attending Latin Mass you are a degenerate.

>>3263072
What are you?

>>3263342
Undecided

>>3263017
Join us Presbyterians. We are the Jews of Christianity.

>>3263399
Nah. I'd only be catholic or orthodox

>>3263399

how so? you mean the ones in america?

>>3263135
Yeah judging from history he should have tied him to a chair and thrown his ass into a lake

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>>3263017
>after 3 songs we have "communion" which was every family getting a pack of Ritz crackers and a juice box

Lel this. I went to a protestant mass one time. They had LITERAL ritz crackers.

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>>3263415
>implying you can't be an Orthodox Presbyterian

>>3263449
I mean like russian orthodox

>>3263325
The masturbation threads are the worst, I have hard time to take their toughbehaviour seriously when they cry and bitch about how many times they touched their weenie.

were american protestants always this milqetoast and lame? what happened?

>>3263329
This. Deism always proves itself to be best.

>>3263419
He means they are such a small percentage of the US pop and end up everywhere. Many US presidents and Congressmen have been Presbyterians. Its unrepresentative of out population.
t. Presbyterian

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>>3263251
>kids still think plain agnosticism is an option
every single person is either an atheist or a theist
saying "I dunno lol" makes you an agnostic atheist

>>3263017
>which was every family getting a pack of Ritz crackers and a juice box

I lel'd

I have never been to a Protestant mass so can someone tell me if OP is full of shit? Is this an American Protestant thing or do they do this in Germany and the UK too?

>>3263017
fuck off papist go back north where you belong

all I know is that my 70 year old vietnam vet preacher never washed no nigger's feet

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>tfw black atheists are only 0.5% of the population

Why? It's not fair.

>>3263759
Bait

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>>3263017
>everyone acts like I'm retarded when I say Christ is present in the Eucharist
>(but don't tell them the pope was chosen by God)

>people still force themselves to believe god exists

Lmao pathetic

>>3263419
Yeah. The church structure and theology is really Old Testament and patriarchal, scholarly, and conservative.

>>3263399
I wasn't raised religious, but would definitely convert if I had kids. I'm thinking Presbyterian, since I'm Anglo-American, and have heard it's one of the more reasonable Protestant sects. Convert me.

>>3263297

Atheism is Agnosticism. Or rather, it should be. Agnostic-Atheism is the truest form of Atheism. More so now that Atheism has become it's own brand of religion with proselytizers and everything.

You can spend your life disproving something that doesn't exist or you can just admit there's no reason to worry about it, because you will never have definitive proof that you are right.

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>>3263755
I'm trying to remember something noteworthy from dropping by a Protestant mass, but nothing comes up.
They are pretty much same shit as Roman-Catholic, except some changed texts and their pastors can actually marry. Same goes for Greco-Catholic and Eastern Orthodox. They all sing something, father preaches something about good deeds and bad stuff happening in the world, then they sing some more and everyone goes home.

It made me realize that modern Christianity here is basically a form of communism trying to get people together and help each other, without secret police and uranium mine political prisons.
Kinda nice, except the part where it all works only because the Supreme Being is always watching and will fry yo ass after you die, if you don't follow the rulebook.

>>3263297
I'm am atheist and all the good arguments for atheism are actually for agnosticism. Past that is really just my opinion.

Sort of how all the good theological arguments are for deism and then x religion bolted on at the end.

>>3263089
People just aren't taking the 'atheist' label. Religious nones are still increasing in industrialized nations.

>>3263755
It's definitely not the norm, but some really weird parishes and shit do exist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqLKutCq1VQ

>>3263759
Kek
>be protestant
>"we don't need the pope, the bible has all we need"
>remove 7 books from the bible
Can't make this Shit up either

>>3263520
>masturbation threads

nigga wat. ive been here since the board was made and have never seen that

>>3264163
>I'm am atheist and all the good arguments for atheism are actually for agnosticism.

Absolutely wrong. Ever read philosophy of religion? There are plenty of arguments for atheism, while virtually none for agnosticism.

>>3264154
U N I V E R S A L R E C O N C I L I A T I O N

>>3263755
Well the largest protestant church in Germany is the German evangelical/lutheran church (EKD), and the masses I went to there were old-fashioned, with singing hymnals and lots of bible-reading in a normal curch (but very simple compared to catholics etc.).
There do exist fringe/cringe "free churches", that have a lot in common with OP's story (trying to be hip, lots of amens, rock bands etc.). But they are usually somewhat smaller and have better venues, than what I've seen in videos of the more excessive American churches.

>>3265619
They have what's called "megachurches" which have like movie theater seating, a huge sound system and then things like gyms and areas with Tv's and video games for kids and the pastors makes millions, sometimes they even broadcast the church services on TV.
Absolutely heretical

>>3263017
Sounds like you went to a fundie church, anon.
>Be Lutheran Mainline
>Be in Boy Scout troop sponsored by local catholic church
>Go to Lock-in saturday, playing vidya
>first time playing cod zombies, pretty fun
>next day, go to mass at aforementioned catholic church
>a little spooked, scared that catholic mass is going to be weird and confusing compared to Lutheran service
>It's actually mostly the same, just different tunes to the hymns, a few changes in creeds, etc.
>only real complaint from preteen me was that they use those shitty waifers for communion (most of the time my church uses homemade unleavened bread, it's delicious)
I never took the people who called us "catholic lite" seriously before that. We are basically catholics without a pope. I'm perfectly fine with that though desu, catholics are chill, it's better than being a fundie baptist.

>>3263331
>be me
>2008, be 14
>church starts holding an occasional Tridentine mass
>parents push me to go to it
>lost half the time because I don't speak Latin
>literally just repeating prayers from rote memorization
>can't understand readings
>can't meditate on deeper meanings of scripture because I can't understand the scripture

Vatican II was right, piss off

>>3264100
There's no good reason you should entertain the idea that god might just because someone believes in it and "he totally could guiz!!! or maybe not!!! who knows"

>>3263017
>be me, raised catholic
>be in 90% (southern?) Baptist town
>take half-assed bible classes at Catholic church
>don't pay attention or study the bible
>still know more than any other hyper christians in this town
>pastors range from former convicts, trailer trash 30 somethings with goatees, and 55 year old pseudo-evangelists
god i hated all those postering losers
only the Mormons had even a decent grip of scripture
my knowledge of scripture was a joke but that town made me look like Alexander of Alexandria.

>>3266166
>caring this much about the non-existence of God

Yup, you got your fedora on alright.

>>3266130
Vatican II would have been fine if language was the only thing that changed.

>>3266130
Learning foreign languages is challenging and time consuming - two exact opposites of what modern lazy society expects from the Church of God.

>church starts holding an occasional Tridentine mass
Damn, you're lucky.

>lost half the time because I don't speak Latin
You can easily prepare yourself with this simplistic online Missal:
http://divinumofficium.com/cgi-bin/missa/kalendar.pl
All three liturgical years day by day in 8 languages 9 if we include Latin).

>can't understand readings
All readings are translated to vernacular languages when the people are present.

>can't meditate on deeper meanings of scripture because I can't understand the scripture
See the above.

>Vatican II was right, piss off
Then why did they create a whole new liturgy with a whole different mindset instead of just translating the old one?

>>3263759
Jesus Christ washed the feet of the poor and destitute. He told us to humble ourselves. Read the Bible you hillbilly.

>>3266278
How's your bigfoot hunt going?

>>3264086
Ethnicity has no bearing on what sect of Christianity you should follow. That's dumb as fuck and contrary to the whole point.

>>3264086
>Presbyterian
>Reasonable
It's fucking autism, they literally have "books of order"

>>3263017
>going to a goofy nondenominational church
>not LCMS or Southern Baptist or the like
shiggy

>>3266335
>It's fucking autism, they literally have "books of order"
You either have clear set of orders for your denomination to function OR you fall for the "I love Jesus but hate religion" meme, which is a literal definition of "voluntold" - you're free to do whatever you want...
- HOWEVER -

>>3263017
OP it's uncanny how similar your experience was to mine, the first time I went to a Born Again protestant service. On the one hand, as an atheist I found it inspiring how they were able to come together as a community and support one another, because they also had a kind of open forum for people who were struggling within the congregation and people would come forward to lend things they needed. But the rest of it was so garish and ridiculous.

>>3266305
>All readings are translated to vernacular languages when the people are present.

They're permitted to be but don't have to be. They weren't in my case.

>>3266347
>I love Jesus but hate religion
That describes most Presbyterians when they aren't busy WE WUZing over fucking Scotia

>>3263522
The original puritans were very hardcore fundamentalists, the reason they left to start new colonies in the new world is they considered the Catholic and Protestants in Europe to be too lax in their religiosity and wanted to found a new, purer society adhering to the strictest interpretation of the Word of God.

>>3266354
>They're permitted to be but don't have to be
Welp, time to read that Missal I just sent you then.

>>3266351
It's part of what I would guess to be making yourself a fool for Christ, expressing joy at being reborn and being part of the body. I don't agree with it but I will not presume to stop or criticize anyone for it.

>>3266367
My experience has mostly been the opposite. Presbyterians love order, hierarchy, and rigid organization.

>>3265956
You're not supposed to take communion if you aren't catholic owo

>>3263342
a real human bean

>>3263072
Do you skate the godbowl?

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>>3263251
Sorry for making me post this bud

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>>3266436
I dunno why so many people think being only an agnostic is a valid position and group it with atheism and theism. Atheism and theism is about belief, agnosticism is about knowledge. Even if you are agnostic you are still either an atheist or a theist.

>>3266513
Is that the political compass

>>3266419
What? Lutherans believe, that they are consumming the flesh and blood of Christ, why shouldn't they be allowed to do it?

>>3266616
Catholics have to go through a special class to take communion. You normally do it in the second grade

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>>3266323
I do not believe there is a God, but I have no real knowledge of a possible or impossible God. I don't believe in God, but I don't know God.

I don't believe in a God, because I don't know about God. The burden is on you to prove to me that God is real. Is this starting to make sense?

>>3266218
Every fellow Catholic I've heard repeat this was a embarrassment and regularly get destroyed attempting to engage Street preachers.

>>3266637
Lutherans have confirmation too, we just do it at a later age (at least here)

>>3266849
No confirmation is different. There's first communion then confirmation

>>3266854
Oh forgot, that catholics have two things, but I still think we're not really all that different.

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>>3263251

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>>3263017
>equating American bullshit cults with real protestantism

>>3266937
>richardsonian romanesque church
k i n o

>>3263089
Atheism has been the de facto accepted position among serious intellectuals since the 19th century. Hume and other Enlightenment philosophers BTFO'd it in the 18th. Read any philosopher of the 19th century, and the message is clear: religion is not an acceptable basis for morals, because religion is just plain wrong. Intellectuals, real intellectuals, are the antennae of our race; I mean they feel great events centuries before the masses do.

Religion has evolved. As we can see with modern politics, most people still believe in the old doctrines. They just don't attribute them to God, but to Reason, or Natural Morality, or Science, or Tradition, or whatever. This reasons are many: first, the fact that science has consistently given the lie to religion, until the point where most apologists need to appeal to "faith" and call the opposing view "scientism" (read "common sense.") If God has no provable effect on the universe, there is no reason to believe in Him. The second reason is political: the US Constitution explicitly requires a separation of religion and state, "religion" here meaning a belief system that includes god(s). Because schools cannot teach religion, and the press is discouraged from promoting it, traditional god-based religion has died even faster than it would have otherwise. Yet, for all intents and purposes, political beliefs are religions. And the political class still promotes "official beliefs", they just don't promote the belief in god(s), and besides that they remain indistinguishable from religion. Progressivism is just Puritanism without God, and Conservativism is Catholicism without God.

Most people in the modern world simply lack the emotional capability for Christian belief. Just like how, no matter how hard we try, we cannot force ourselves to believe in Zeus or Odin, modern man cannot force himself to believe in Yahweh. The death of traditional religion and the rise of political religion is the defining fact of our era.

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>>3267138

>>3267167
>this is the pinnacle of religious argument
No wonder religion is a joke in 21st century

>>3266937
This.

>>3266278
Its the opposite. Caring so much about being open to ridiculous possibilities is pretty fedora. Joe Rogan is retarded btw

>>3266787
Im not knowledgeable in scripture at all, however I noticed that most people in my town were even less knowledgeable. Also, how many people do you know who engage street preachers???

>>3267138
I've long believed that nearly ALL the elites are atheistic social Darwinists, but that they never share their true worldview with the public because doing so would unleash social chaos and undermine their own positions. Can you imagine what would happen if a US president came out and said that you don't have to fear the afterlife?

Even today, without belief in God, regular people still have "internalized" Christian values. Anyone who feels that it's wrong to kill, steal, or cheat, might feel that way because they were raised in a culture where basic respect for human beings was a social norm. I don't see this as a bad thing at all, in fact it's great. I'm simply saying that society's elites think very differently from the way we do, even down to the most fundamental assumptions.

The best argument against God existence is the indifferent nature of the universe towards and humanity's own insignificance

>>3266937
>Mainline Protestants
>adheres to the Westminster Confession
This is how you can tell whoever made this isn't knowledgable about Protestantism.

>>3267138
>Because schools cannot teach religion, and the press is discouraged from promoting it, traditional god-based religion has died even faster than it would have otherwise.
On the contrary, the US has historically been one of the most religiously conservative countries in the West paradoxically because the Constitution promoted freedom of faith and the prohibition of established churches. In other words, religion was not only kicked out of state, but religion became independent of state. This latter fact made religion STRONGER because protestant volunteerism quite literally created a "free market" of religion whereby individuals could choose which type of Christianity they adhered to, making them less likely to see a dichotomy between "state sanctioned religion" and "non religion" as happened in european countries, especially the catholic ones like italy and france and spain

>>3267277
It's actually much simpler than that, all the evidence points to that Christianity that is theologically conservative survives and prospers while liberal Christianity like that in Europe withers, it isn't about protestantism or the constitution.

>>3267349
>>3267349
wat.. America was anything but "theologically conservative" in the 19th century or into the 20th century. in fact there were many "liberal sects" that persisted into the twentieth century while they withered in Europe. have you actually anything about the history of modern christianity? The conservative theological backlash started after WWI in America and really gathered strength after WWII as a political force.

>>3267363
read anything*

>equating all protestants with evangelicals or pentecostals
Mainline protestants, especially the Episcopals are pretty much Catholic-light. You got the retarded Rural/Southern stepchild of the Christian community
>>3263522
The mainline sane ones are dying off to secularism, which leaves only the insane fringe

>>3267273
Presbyterians are mainliners.

>>3263431
fuck you, Puerto Rican Amazons are great