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>be me
>long time General for the Shu army
>was somewhat involved in the three year preparation for the final battle against Wei
>Our former leader Liu Bei passed away and his former faggot son Liu Shan took the place of Shu emperor
>literal retard
>one time, he was aimlessly walking around the middle of the battlefield talking to himself, dancing, speaking of benevolence
>General Zhao Yun had to go out of his way to escort him to the main camp
what the fuck
>234AD
>The battle of Wuzhang Plains had began
>Our commander Zhuge Liang had fallen ill and it only worsens each day
>he might die and his successor Jiang Wei might take the role of Shu commander
>days pass and Wei isn't doing much, but holding our forces off
>battle is pretty much a stalemate
>Zhuge Liang is getting impatient and as the now Dying Dragon is dying, he comes up with a plan to provoke Wei commander Sima Yi
>sends Sima Yi women garments, even the Shu General Wei Yan leads his forces near the Wei main camp and yells insults towards their commander
>"SIMA...YI....KEK....SQUINTY EYES"
>according to a couple of the privates, you could hear the words "Imbeciles!" echo throughout the battlefield coming from the enemy camp
>sureshowedhim.scroll
cont.?
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Yes please, this entertains me
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>be Wei Yan
>one of the best generals of your country
>also an absolute madman
>wave your sword around at one of the Prime Minister's subordinates and make him cry regularly
>win countless battles leading the vanguard
>design a simplex yet incredibly effective series of defenses against the north
>accompany Prime Minister on northern campaigns
>he hates you and ignores every suggestion you give
>lose battle after battle
>Prime Minister eventually dies
>gave orders for you to be killed on trumped up charges of treason
>die
>years later
>illiterate general uses your defenses to blow northerners the fuck out despite having 1/3 as many troops multiple times
>years later
>dumbfuck Jiang Wei gets in charge
>decides he won't use your defenses
>country is conquered
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>>3208735
>days pass
>no one is really doing much
>there are some wooden oxens on the battlefield for some reason
>couldn't care less and continued fighting a group of enemy privates
>one of them strikes my back as I defend against nothing in front of me
>Scream "you pathetic rebble!" and jump attack him with my 100lb greatsword
>private runs away with his mobile captain
>I could've taken them on
>Zhuge Liang is finally kill
>theres a shooting star in the sky the following night
>can hear a distant laughter coming from the enemy camp
>everyone subtly retreats
>except Wei Yan whom continues attack enemy forces
>SHU....PREVAIL...ENEMY BAD
>Does this weird super attack and starts breakdancing in the middle of the battlefield with his double-edge spear, killing most of the enemies around him
>I've seen weirder things and continue retreating
>wait, now we're doing a counter-attack
>or pretending to
>Sima Yi waves his battle-fan in arrogance and orders his troops to retreat, convinced that our former commander faked his death
>now everyone is retreating to the battlefield
>can hear Zhang Fei is boasting in his grave to this very day
>>
>>3208735
oh fuck i remember you posting in a thread a while ago
post more!
>>
Agreed, more OP!
>>
Is there a battle anyone wants to request during the Dynasty-era? I'm open to options
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>>3213374
This battle is my favorite.
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>>3213374
One from the Wei perspective, please.
>>
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>>3208735
>219AD
>be mobile captain for the Wei Army
>Shu army, commanded by Guan Yu initiated an attack at Fancheng Castle
>Our commander, Cao Ren, ordered everyone to hold off the enemy and stay on the defensive
>used catapults to hold off the enemy, archers, etc.
>one occassion, we ran out of boulders and repeatedly used our 4ft. 3.in commander bulked out in heavy armor as a human boulder as we sat him in the catapult and launched him into enemy ground forces
>I'm mobilizing my group of privates prepping them for a counter-attack when a buddy general of mine asked me if I wanted to go swimming at the pool near the gate
>we don't have a pool
>actually, what is a pool
>inspect the "pool" near the gate and turns out that the castle is being flooded due to heavy rain and extreme weather
>the soldiers "swimming" are actually drowning
>call my buddy an imbecile and alert the our commander of our situation as he's climbing back up the ladder after being catapulted for the 12th time
>everyone retreats into the castle and make our way to higher ground
>send a messenger for reinforcements
>not only does a few generals from Wei show up, but a small army from the Wu forces as well
>for a moment, i see the figure of Sun Jian in the thundering clouds as he waves his sword and chants to his officers, "IT'S TIME"
>turns out Guan Yu pissed off Sun Quan multiple occassions from barging in Wu territory >we slowly drive back the Shu force back to their main camp
>we set up ramps to attack to their gate
>Wei officer Xu Huang gets impatient and kicks the gates down with his bare legs
>we surround Guan Yu as he catch him attempting to escape with his children boosting him through the back gate
>Pang De belches a heavy laughter before being executed
>Sun Quan and his men throws rocks and empty bottles of Musou at Guan Yu and his son Guan Ping until they are kill
>Guan Ping looks up at the son of Tiger and mutters before the final blow, "i will return after reviewing my strategies"
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>>3213442
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Suiyang
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this took place centuries after the Jin Dynasty, this threads strictly keeping to the Three Kingdoms Era in China. Interesting read though
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meant to respond to>>3213812
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>>3213794
People like you are a good portion of the reason why I even use the Internet and haven't abandoned all hope in life. I mean there's other things worth living for, sorry to be edgy, I'm just saying this is awesome.
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>>3213396
If you want a similar battle during the Fall of Han, look up the little-known tale of Zang Hong turning against Yuan Shao..
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