Ancient cultures thread. Lets discuss ancient cultures that

>>3180963

You are not half as funny as you think you are.

What's the point of being wrong on purpose if you're not even gonna be controversial?

>>3180976
where did OP imply his post is supposed to be hilarious

>>3180963

They founded the Kingdom of Asturias, which in turn started the Reconquista which ultimately ousted the Muslims from Iberia.

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>>3180963
>Ostrogoth
*Visigoth
Pic related

OP here, I meant Visigoths and wanted to discuss how cultures diminished through time.

>>3181317
That won't wash, fucker. The visigoths weren't defeated by the Abbasids, you just made an unfun memefest.

>>3181068
Their women made fine fucktoys for Arabs, Slavs and Huns.

>>3181433
Umayadds?

>>3180963
>Gothic warrior
Your pic is wrong

These aren't Goths but Taifals, a Sarmatian clan

And the ones who ruled Iberia aren't the Ostrogoths but the VIsigoths

>>3182068
it says gothic warriors on the pic

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Any other Carthageboos here?

Hannibal did nothing wrong. Fuck the Carthagenean oligarchy

>>3180963
I am always amused when some nazi sperg here in Germany we wuzzes about the goths. I mean seriously? Did you even try to look up where they lived?

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>>3182092
And it is wrong

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taifals

>>3182101
>>3182127
>baby's first ancient civilization

>>3180976
Stfu faggot nigger

>>3182277
Gothic WIelbark was like Swedes and in minority: Ukrainians, Balts and Poles.

>>3182277
Why am I a nazi? Just wanted to discuss cultures. Plus goths lived in North Africa, Eastern Europe, Germany, Scandinavia and Iberia.

>>3182282
my bad this whole thread is wrong,
>tfw used wrong nation
>tfw used wrong conquering dynasty
>tfw pic related is wrong
Let this thread rot and sage it.

>>3180963

THE VISIGOTHS DID NOT LOSE IBERIA TO MUSLIMS, BUT TO JUDEOCHRISTIANS; MUSLIMS CAME AND REGENERATED THE COUNTRY.

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>>3185101
>THE VISIGOTHS DID NOT LOSE IBERIA TO MUSLIMS, BUT TO JUDEOCHRISTIANS
What did he mean by this?

>>3185141

THE VISIGOTHS CONVERTED FROM ARIAN CHRISTIANITY TO CATHOLIC JUDEOCHRISTIANITY TOWARD THE END OF THE SIXTH CENTURY C E.

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>>3185188
>Catholic judeochristianity
Tell me Judaism my gnostic friend

>>3185188
Arianism is closer to Judaism than Catholicism

>>3185297

YOU ARE EITHER AN IGNORANT IDIOT, OR A LYING IDIOT.

>>3185320
Yeah because the trinity is such a Jewish position

>>3185297
Can we talk about Arianism, what it exactly is, and why it failed?

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>>3185405

ARIANISM WAS A CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT, THE MAIN THESIS OF WHICH IS HETEROOUSIANISM BETWEEN GOD, AND CHRIST.

ARIAN CHRISTIANITY, ALONG WITH CHRISTIANITY AS A WHOLE, FAILED TO BECOME ESTABLISHED, BECAUSE JEWS CORRUPTED JESUS' TEACHINGS, CREATING A FALSE CHRISTIANITY THAT EVENTUALLY BECAME JUDEOCHRISTIANITY.

ONCE JUDEOCHRISTIANITY WAS ESTABLISHED VIA OFFICIALIZATION, AND SANCTION, BY THE ROMAN STATE, IT DEDICATED ITSELF TO SYSTEMATICALLY PERSECUTE, AND ERADICATE, ANY TRACE OF CHRISTIANITY, CULMINATING WITH THE EXTERMINATION OF THE CATHARS IN THE FOURTEENTH CENTURY C E.

CATHARISM WAS THE LAST GREAT CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT; NOW, CHRISTIANITY IS VIRTUALLY EXTINCT, SUBSISTING IN FEW INDIVIDUALS AROUND THE WORLD.

>>3180963
>>3181068
Wait so the ostrogoths are in the west and the visigoths are in the east?

>tfw you're probably maternally related to Julius & Augustus Caesar and king Arthur's uncle

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>>3180963
>>3181068
>g*th
>in my thread
Time to bring out the Scourge of God.

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>>3185425
A Vandal magister with known Arian tendencies was holding a symposium in honour of Demophilus, a known schismatic.
"Before the toasts begin, you must get on your knees and worship God and accept that he was the most divine entity the ecumene has ever known, even greater than Christus whom he created!"

At this moment, a venerable Praepositus Limitis who had served on the frontiers for decades and understood the necessity of taming the Barbaricum and fully supported the creed promulgated by the great Constantinus rose from his couch and held up a crucifix.

"Who does this represent?"

The Rhenian cur smirked quite devilishly and smugly replied "the created child of an indivisible God"

"You miss the point. Jesus Christ our Dominus is of the same substance as God and thus equal to Him."

The heretic was visibly shaken, and dropped his wine krater and copy of Eusebius' Onomastikon. He stormed out of the banquet hall crying those laetus crocodile tears. The same tears Donatists and Priscillians cry for the "poor" (who today are so holy that saints vie to kiss their feet) as they flee Roman territory to the outrage-committing Bacaudae in Armorica. There is no doubt that at this point the "learned" Vandal wished he had studied the work of the Holy Apostles and become more than a ludicrous teacher of rhetoric. He wished so much that he had a spatha to disembowel himself with due to the shame but he had sold all the city's arms for Gaiseric's ransom pay!

The partygoers politely clapped and all ceased their apostasy that day and accepted Jesus as the true Son of God. An divine light suddenly shone into the room and blazed upon the bust of Augustine and the statue wept miraculously. The Nicene Creed was recited, and Jesus Monogenes himself descended and banished the barbarians to the hellish wastes beyond the limes.

The magister lost his tongue and was castrated the following day. He was exiled to Troesmis, far from from God's Light.

Praise Jesus Consubstantialis