ITT: Huge historical misconceptions you've heard or believed

>>2992966
Not one I've believed, but
>People generally died in their 40s in the past because the life expectancy was 40
is a whopper of a misconception.

I thought that napoleon was around in the 1500's and that his only name was napoleon

Are you American per chance?

>Nazi regime's economic system was sustainable
>Holocaust didn't happen

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>>2992966
yeah basically the same for me

>>2993079
Not him, but
>(Blame living in Louisiana)

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I thought Alexander the Great was a Bronze Age figure and not someone who was kicking around just a couple of years before Rome became a thing.

I thought that medieval popes were Chinese emperor-like figures that the common people couldn't look at directly, and that could make and unmake kings at will. Like, if the pope said you were no longer king, you abdicated out of sheer piety and respect for the office. Turns out that the popes were mostly bitches of French and German monarchs.

I thought that money was a very recent invention, and that until the modern age the armies all throughout history fought not for any sort of pay but purely out of loyalty to their kings.

Associated monarchy with the middle ages, and it blew my mind as a kid when I discovered that there are still kings and princes out there today.

>"Dark Ages" as presented in popular culture, basically a cartoon and video game world
>Firearms just popped into existence in 1500 and people stopped using armor and swords instantly
>Czechs are Germans and Hungarians are Poles, but in the south
>Austria has always been independent
>Germany was called "Germany"
>Native people in North America were one people
>didn't know the Ottoman Empire's capital was Constantinople or that the city existed and just assumed it was the modern capital
>the crusades were one event

>Europeans were the biggest slavers in history
>people in communist countries were starving, cold and miserable all the time other than the political class
>people usually only lived until 35, aged rapidly, and could die of an infected paper cut before the advent of antibiotics

>thought Berlin was in the middle of Germany so it was split in half
>when I was young I didn't know anybody lived in Greenland or Madagascar
>Wait, how old is Egypt?

>>2993163
>I thought that money was a very recent invention, and that until the modern age the armies all throughout history fought not for any sort of pay but purely out of loyalty to their kings.
That's not totally wrong. For most of history, armies were mostly "paid" by just allowing them to loot the places they conquered.

>>2993218
>>people in communist countries were starving, cold and miserable all the time other than the political class
Mostly true

>>people usually only lived until 35, aged rapidly, and could die of an infected paper cut before the advent of antibiotics
Also not totally wrong. An infected paper cut COULD kill you. It wasn't very likely, but it was more likely than it is today.

>>2992966
When I was young I thought the Berlin Wall was the literal Iron Curtin and ran through all of Germany. Like there was a massive singular wall diving all of the Communists and Capitalists that ran right through Berlin.

>>2993218
>>people in communist countries were starving, cold and miserable all the time other than the political class
maybe not all the time, but look at shit like the holodomor and the great famine in china

>>2993163
actually alexander happened after rome was already a thing. As alexander is conquering persia, the romans have been around for at least 200 years and were a thing, just not a superpower

For some reason, when I was really little, I thought that Hitler was a cowboy villain in the Wild West. The name just sounded very cowboy-like.

>>2993230
I know that an infected paper cut could possibly be fatal, but I doubt people were dropping dead left and right from infected paper cuts.
>>2993274
As bad as those two famines were, the USSR after 1947 and the Eastern Bloc didn't have starvation/famine, and some older people actually miss the old days there. I don't know about China though.

I thought the Roman empire was still a thing for a few months because my friend's parents paid two actors to pose as Roman legionnaires for his 7th birthday.

I also thought that the batch of cherry trees in Washington DC were the same trees from the story about George Washington, and for some reason I thought they were a gift after WWII. So basically I thought that the second world war predated the founding of the US.

>>2993321
>american education

t. american only reason i wasnt this dumb was because i had an autistic interest in history at a young age

>>2992966
i thought there was an obi "one" kinobi and obi "two" kinobi because of McDonalds toys that had the old and young versions of him.

I thought that Timbuktu and Waterloo was somewhere in America until the 4th grade.

>Used to believe that the HRE was a whole.
>Used to believe Ethiopians still used stone-tipped spears in the XIXth century.
>Used to believe the Serbs were the only ones genociding in the Yugoslavian Wars.
>I have heard of somebody convinced that the Atzecs didn't use iron weapons "because it was dishonourable."
>I have heard of somebody saying that Scandinavian countries have been socially progressive from the High Middle Ages onward.

>>2993741
>Used to believe Ethiopians still used stone-tipped spears in the XIXth century.
>Used to believe the Serbs were the only ones genociding in the Yugoslavian Wars
Pretty sure a lot of people still believe this

I use to think that all Africans were of the Zulu variety.

>>2993102
It was sustainable under constant militaristic expansion, colonization and displacement and enslavement of the native population.
>>2993164
>Germany was called "Germany"
It had and has a dozen different names, but Dutchland or Germany were common coverall terms for East Francia, the HRE and subsequent states.
>>2993219
>>thought Berlin was in the middle of Germany so it was split in half
It roughly in the middle before the World Wars
>>2993365
lol

>>2992966


> Hungary is the country of the Huns.

In reality they call it Magyarország.


> Hungary
> Magyarország

How the hell do we conflate this two words together?

>>2994003
>In reality they call it Magyarország.
Lots of different countries and ethnocities have vastly different endonyms and exonyms.
Hungary and Magyarorszóg aren't related to each other. Hungary shares an etymology with the word Huns. They were barbarian horsemen and conquerors from the Eurasian steppes, so they got the same name as the Huns in Europe.

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>>2992966

I thought Jesus existed, and actually thought Messiah meant some sort of spiritual savior.

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>>2992966
My French colleague who comes from some town in the Alps mentioned the famous story of how Alexander the Great crossed the Alps with his elephants.

I've asked him who Alexander was fighting but he couldn't remember.

>>2993039
I believed that one when younger. I think I remember reading some knucklehead say something like
>We were historically never supposed to live past 40 what if old age is just your body being surprised that it somehow managed to live that long
I thought that was insightful at the age of 9.

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>>2992966
I grew up Protestant and was proud of the Turkish defeat at Vienna, which to me represented united Christianity (Catholic and Protestant Germans and Orthodox Poles) defeating the Islamic menace.

Then I learned the Poles were Catholic, Protestants either refused to join the fighting or outright joined the Turks, and even held masses praying for Turkish victory.

>>2994500
>I thought Jesus existed

But he did.

>>2993301
IIRC he did read a lot of westerns in his youth and sympathised with the Indians to the point that he hoped they would rise up against the white Americans.

While we're on Hitler, my brother thought there were two Hitlers: Adult Hitler and Kid Hitler. He misheard Adolf as adult.

I thought Greenland was an independent country. I feel less bad knowing some adults still think this.
I didn't understand the concept of an unrecognized state. I was mad that my teacher marked me wrong for saying Sealand was the smallest country instead of Vatican City.
I didn't know that France still owned part of South America.
I thought that the Netherlands has been a republic since the 16th century and still is.

>>2993163
>Turns out that the popes were mostly bitches of French and German monarchs.
It was like 50/50 sometimes. They weren't God but they did have considerably influence.

>>2994003
Same with Allemagne/Alemania/Alemanha (from the Alamans) being the name for Germany in some countries.

>>2992966
>Pius XII blessed Nazi weapons

I've heard it so many times by anticlericals who took it literally, that I, as a good sheep I am, took it literally too.

When I was like 4 or 5 years old, I though America was South Africa. Like I would point to a map and say "this is America". I also made no distinction between the continent and the country (USA).

Even as I grew up I still mixed up the two sometimes. Took me a while to realize the USA just doesn't have a real name that nobody else can claim.

>>2994946
>Hitler was born Caholic, the church were nazis!

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>>2994955
I'll go one step beyond that. I thought the US was Eurasia. I only saw maps of the US on cartoons and the map I had as a child had no borders. Everyone talked about how big America was so I thought it was huge. Pic related shows how I compared some of the features together and I thought that the maps I saw in cartoons were just oversimplified like a lot of things in cartoons.

Didn't know Austria still existed until a few years ago.

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>>2994977

tfw this is actually the redpill.

>>2994977
Where did you think Mexico was? Because I knew Mexico was somewhere in Latin America/South America.

>>2992966
I always confused Mother Theresa with Maria Theresa

>>2993321
Hey, I remember you!
>>2993377
There are about two dozen Waterloos in America, actually.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waterloo

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>>2995011
>the new world doesn't exist

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>>2994977
This fucked me up.

>>2995018
I can't remember, I was under 7 at the time.

>>2992966

I thought Romes heyday was during Augustus' reign.

I thought Romans/Europeans were above proskynesis.

I thought all medieval nobles were sociopathic monsters who killed/raped/assaulted people at will and always had the 'law' on their side.

I thought English peasants had short dreary lives when really they (often) had it pretty good.

I thought countries still hated eachother for things that happened hundreds of years ago. ie; I thought America and England were a hair trigger away from going to war.

>>2992966

>the Gulf War was a naval engagement against an Iraqi fleet in the Gulf of Mexico

I believed this until the 5th grade because there couldn't be more than one place named "Gulf," that would be retarded.

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I used to think--like apparently plenty of other people still do--that the Pope really was infallible in all things he said, wasn't until I had to take a church history class in high school to understand the concept of "ex cathedra".

Also just to note, when I say "plenty of other people still do" I don't mean to say that tons of people I've met truly believe the Pope is infallible, just that they think that's what the official doctrine of the Church is.

>The US Army was the most Allied effective fighting force in WW1 because they refused to dig trenches and fought smarter than the dumb Euros, who were amazed by our clever troops using maneuver tactics.
>The American revolutionaries won because they were the first people who thought of firing from cover.
>The Falklands War was fought over Hawaii (I honestly think this was a defensible confusion for a 12yo because of Sandwich Islands -> South Sandwich Islands and the fact that Hawaii's flag as the Union Jack on it)

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>>2994977

you mean you give a shit about human history more than planet history?

there goes another one.

Julius Caesar conquered Britain (even worse as I knew the 43 AD date, by which time he'd been dead for the best part of a century)

Alfred the Great was King of England

Anglo-Saxons killed all of the Britons, apart from those living the other side of the modern borders between England and Wales/Scotland

The Scots are native to Britain (they arrived roughly contemporary with the Angles, Saxons and Jutes)

The Aztecs and Inca lived thousands of years ago

Captain Cook discovered Australia

Apollo 11 was the only Moon landing

I never knew Cleopatra was a member of an alien dynasty, not a native Egyptian

The Egyptian pyramids were built for human sacrifice, like those from Mesoamerica

Attila the Hun was Chinese

Genghis Khan was Chinese

Attila the Hun and Genghis Khan were different names for the same person

Prussia was part of Russia

>>2995131
What convinced you that it didn't, redpilled gentleman?

> Boudicca was a freedom fighter who only killed romans

> romans had emperors since the beginning

>conquistadors took over Incan and Aztec empires by themselves

>Thought Islam was some super cool religion that was uber pacifist and respected women heavily

But that's true though

Thought that New York City was a supercity that covered the better part of the American eastern coast, including dividing NYC into a few big blocks; Boston, Washington, and Manhattan. Manhattan being the big bay east of Washington

>>2995754
Good joke.

>>2995471
>Prussia was a part of Russia.
It is now.

I thought for a long time every country was stuck with victorian era societal norms, clothes, and technology, besides America and Japan.
I thought this because of children's books, disney, and various other media. 9/11 happened when I was rather young so it got beat into my head every day how great America is so I just assumed all modern stuff was American in origin and our entire culture was producing technology, then I got a nintendo and assumed japan must be roughly the same standard of living as us, and this made sense to me because we had to nuke them at one point to stop a war.

>>2992966
I fucking despise Islam, but there was indeed a period in which women were heavily respected and treated as equals. I am too lazy to look up the specific period.

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>>2995814
That reminds me, my brother told me that this area of land was unclaimed. The map we had didn't label it.

>>2995471
the chinese actually claim Genghis Khan was chinese, they have been pushing that line officially since 2004.

>>2995816
You're not that far off. You just forgot America invaded Germany and helped rebuilt France (basically the two biggest countries in Europe) as well.

>>2995996
It is mandate of heaven autism.

>>2993302
> and some older people actually miss the old days there.
Some older people also miss the Nazis, does that mean Nazi Germany was good?

>>2996053
Yes?

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>>2993230

>>2995171
This. I was born in 95 so I was still to young to really understand where it took place but I always thought it was this epic battle/war that America fought against some countries from the middle East but it took place in the gulf of mexico.

>>2992966
Did you forget the part where Mohammed married and raped underaged girls?

>used to think that the Holy Roman Empire was the absolute successor of Rome (wasn't entirely wrong, but I believed byzantines and the HRE were the same)
>thought that France and England were the same thing
>thought that Mexico was still apart of Spain because they spoke spanish
>thought that christopher columbus was still alive

>>2996340
No one talks about that in Islam.

Was part of the curriculum for our gateway middle school history course. Watched a cherry picked documentary

>>2996342
I thought Holy Roman Empire was just another name for the Roman Empire that they started using when they became Christian.

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>>2996342
I can believe the Rome part but you have to be a whole new level of delusional to think the rest of that

>>2996362
Rude

>>2992966
That the Mediterranean was in the Middle of Europe and that countries like Switzerland were on the south end, not Africa

>>2992966
Don't talk shit about Louisiana you cunt. Bet'mon'chu, neg.

>>2996435
This. Louisiana had nothing to do with niggers appropriating Egyptian culture/history.

Also hello fellow Loozy poster.

Used to think that all native Africans were black, tribal people. Then I learned about that North Africans are fairly light skinned, and Ethiopia is even Christian.

Never understood how the HRE worked until recently. Thought it was a loosely federated representative democracy where the states just had too much power to get anything done, like the United States under the Articles of Confederation.

t. American

I used to think black Africans only used spears and wore loin cloth. I also used to think all mud huts came in the standard circular form.

>>2992966
>Thought modern Italy, Germany, Spain, China and other unified countries were always like this
>Middle East was absolutely barren, just sand and cactuses
>Australia is one of the smallest countries
>Japan is really small
>Ainu are still relevant
>Mesoamerican and South American empires (Mayan, Aztec, Inca and others) were just one hella big empire with different names for kingdoms
>Alladin's story was on the Middle East
>Paraguay and Uruguay were provinces of the same country
>Brazil was exploited since its discovery on 1500
>Portugal was irrelevant
>Columbus discovered America
>Jamaicans, Haitians and other blacks living around there are native people
>All of Africa was inhabited by blacks, except for Egypt
>Romans never interacted with Asia
>Kuril Islands were Japanese territory
>Islam is peaceful
>Buddhism's god is Siddharta Gautama
>Horse archers still exist on Mongolia

Pretty dumb I was, right? I'm sure there are more, but I won't remember.

>>2992966
I grew up in a none religious household and didn't learn that Christianity was a thing until 6th grade.
I live in the United States.
I new jesus was a person who lived but I never understood the significance of him.
For some reason I new being jewish was a thing and that they believed in god so I thought that anybody who believed in god was a jew.

>>2996703
>Alladin's story was on the Middle East
I learned something new today, had no idea this was untrue

>>2996746
I used to think it was in India.

>>2996746
>>2996755
Really grinds the gears, right? I think I learnt it from a book around 2012. It had [spoiler] Chinese [/spoiler] artwork of Alladin and the Djinn.
I had no idea of the Islamic influence until ~2014. Who in the world would think they had "colonies" on [spoiler] China and SE Asia [/spoiler] ? That's one of the motives I like History.

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>I thought they'd blown up a massive boots the chemist on 9/11, still have a memory of seeing the sign in the rubble

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I thought Austria was taken over by Germany in one of the world wars and didn't exist anymore.
I thought Phoenicia, Portugal, and Polynesia were all descended from the same civilization.
I thought Prussia and Russia were the same country, and that they just changed the spelling after a certain date.
I thought the D-Day landings took place on the southern coast of France.

There are probably more, but those are the most embarrassing.

>>2994612
the lack of any primary sources from his lifetime making a single mention of him says otherwise

>>2995471
>Alfred the Great was King of England
I mean, he basically was.

>>2996703
>Kuril Islands were Japanese territory
They rightfully are.

I thought Columbus was Polish because Polish historiography is terrible at consistent name translation (e.g. KRZYSZTOF Kolumb, JERZY Waszyngton, but GEORGE Bush - if you say Christopher Columbus or Grzegorz Bush, for some unknown reason, no one will know who are you talking about because there's no rule deciding whether to translate names or not)

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>when I was a kid, my mom told me that moats were effective because people in the middle ages didn't know how to swim properly
>somehow I didn't question it until I was around 18

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>>2993079
>He can't even read the post

>>2997101
t.itsuki nobunga

>>2997106
>I thought Columbus was Polish
But he was.

>>2997113
Well it would be kind of hard to swim with armor, a shield, a ladder, an axe, and enemies firing arrows and rocks at you.
Also depending on where the sieging army comes from it is very possible they wouldn't know how to swim anyways.

Your mother was right.

>>2996053
Very, very few Germans think highly of Hitler. That being said, Hitler raised living standards in Germany until the war started, so it wouldn't be surprising if there are 85 year old German grandpas and grandmas heiling Hitler.

Thought that Dubya bush was the guy on the penny when I was little. Dont know why.

I once knew a dumbass who thought Jospeph Stalin was a US Senator

>>2994927
Fuck Germany itself is an exonym. The Germans call Germany Duetchesland or something.

>>2997035
A majority of historians says he did, though.

>>2992966
>Thought that there was no difference between the Stone Age and the 1500's

>>2996904
>I thought Phoenicia, Portugal, and Polynesia were all descended from the same civilization.
Well they were all magical sailors

>>2997610
Deutschland.

>>2995471
>captain cook discovered Australia
t. boong

>>2997601
I once knew a dumbass girl who said Stonehenge was in Ireland. When I told her it was in England she corrected me and said no, and that she'd visited Ireland and seen it there.
I didn't fact check her online because I didn't want to seem like an obnoxious little shit in front of some people I didn't know that well but I was internally furious.

>>2993102
this right here, also
>danzig massacres

>>2997035
Do you know how many ancient historical figures didn't have primary sources mentioning them in their lifetime? The earliest records of Roman Emperor Tiberius are from 110 AD, 73 years after he died.

>>2993079
Are you illiterate per chance?

one of my classmates back at school in 7th grade said that he will go fight in ww2 when he grows up.

>>2998214
There was a McDonald's ad this year for the Shamrock Shake that had Stonehenge as one of the sights of Ireland in the background. Also had a man in a Scottish hat playing his Shamrock shake like bagpipes. Makes me wonder how common this is.

>>2998475
>not befriending the kid with the time machine

I used to believe that the USA and Soviet Union were best friends because they fought together in ww2

>>2995996
kek Chinese losers want some Mongolians' dick

>>2998214
I still feel like confusing Joseph Stalin with Joseph McCarthy is a slightly bigger error than thinking Stonehenge is in Ireland instead of England.

>>2996053
>Some older people also miss the Nazis, does that mean Nazi Germany was good?
It means most people weren't miserable all the time.

>>2996351
Me too.

>>2995177
B...but this is actually true. I mean it's argued over within the Church, but official doctrine still assets papal infallibility.

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/07790a.htm

>>2998589
The papal infallibility applies only in very specific situations. It doesn't mean he can say "All elephants are pink" and that's true for all catholics.

>>2992966
No one knows Portugal is still existing, people learn Portuguese because they wanna date Brazilians.

>>2998690
t. Paulo

>>2998574
But she claimed to have BEEN there. Like holy shit, it'd be comparable if you had met Stalin and called him McCarthy

>>2995308
Fuck off dweeb. We're the most important thing on this rock. Get over it.

>>2998574
Also I believe I replied to your post by accident, wasn't really trying to compare the two morons in our lives

>>2992966
>The USSR and all the other Marxist Leninist states in history were Communist

>>2992966
Alexander's conquests.
Arabian conquests.
Mongolian conquests.
English kingdom before 1600.
Centralised Chinese state before 1948.
Centralised Roman empire.
Fall of British empire.

>>2998690
That's a good thing, keep Portugal protected, secret and european. With their great culture, history and sacred heritage.

>>2993321
when I was a kid I dug up some broken pottery from my parents garden and though it was an ancient roman artifact, I live in Canada

>>2999813
I dug up some rusted metal thing and thought it was a hoplite or other Greek helmet. I live in Ireland.

In high school, I remember a Polish kid did a project on the history of Poland. He said that modern-day Poland used to be called "East Persia."

>>2999855
That's just confusing Prussia with Persia, though he also made the mistake of thinking all of Poland was Prussia. Didn't the Polish used to pretend to be Persians like how Russia pretended to be Roman? Or was that just Sarmatism?

>>2992966
>Churchill was a Jew puppet
>Chamberlain wanted war with Germany
>Stalin was planning to invade Germany in 1940
>Jews declared war on Germany in 1933
>The Holocaust was faked
and the list goes on
thanks /pol/

>>2999906
Also,
>The Weimar Republic was a puppet of the Allied powers
>The Spartacist Uprising was entirely caused by Jews

-That a town that was a 10 minute drive away was England because it had a clock tower (ie big ben)
-That Serbia and Siberia were the same place
-China was always unified
-That all historical monarchies were absolute ones where the King had complete power
-Rome ended in 476
-Horse archers were invincible until people invented guns
-No subsaharan Africans knew how to create metal
-Australia was the US's greatest ally
-Ancient Mesopotamia was wealthier and more advanced than Europe was during the middle ages
-Christianity was only spread through force
-Vikings were some of the greatest warriors
-The Catholic Church was like Big Brother
-Native Americans were all peaceful folk who lived as one with nature
-Modern nationalities and cultural identities were organic and had full continuity to ancient times
-There had been successful peasant rebellions
-Peasants hated monarchs
-Islam = Arab
-Communist countries had harmonious and unified relations and goals with one another
-Nazi Germany had a brilliant economy that equaled the US
-The UK's army was as effective as its Navy
-The US was fully prepared to survive a nuclear war with the Soviet Union
-Australia had no interesting history
-Women were treated as chattels until the 1960s
-There was no good evidence for the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ

>>3000000

>>3000097
>-That all historical monarchies were absolute ones where the King had complete power
I think a lot of people thought that.

Catherine the Great's Horse story.

I didn't really believe it, it sounded so outlandish, but I didn't know how she died for a long time.

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>Was under the impression that Spain was not in Europe because Spanish people(hispanic in my 6 year old head) were not white
>Thought that everyone living in MENA was an Arab
>Thought that Germany was a politically unified cohesive entity for all of history
>Thought that Native Americans were noble savages
>Thought Sicilians were dark skinned due to "African occupation"
>Thought turks were arabs
>Thought there was one crusade
Thought Hitler was a self hating jew.

Blame going to an inner city New York public school surrounded by Puerto Ricans and niggers.

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>Was under the impression that Spain was not in Europe because Spanish people(hispanic in my 6 year old head) were not white
>Thought that everyone living in MENA was an Arab
>Thought that Germany was a politically unified cohesive entity for all of history
>Thought that Native Americans were noble savages
>Thought Sicilians were dark skinned due to "African occupation"
>Thought turks were arabs
>Thought there was one crusade
Thought Hitler was a self hating jew.

Blame going to an inner city New York public school surrounded by Puerto Ricans and niggers.

>>2993164
>Czechs are Germans and Hungarians are Poles, but in the south

OK asked for misconceptions, not facts

>>3000097
>-Australia was the US's greatest ally
Is this not true?

>>2992966
Shitty private school:
>the primary reason Europeans came to the New World was for religious freedom (it was a religious school, surprise surprise)
>The Book of Exodus, as described in the Bible, actually happened
>Egyptians were stupid pagans who didn't accomplish much but the Pyramids they built with Jewish slaves

Mediocre public school:
>the Cultural Revolution was the process of China abandoning its Communist and isolationist ways and adopting capitalist policies, as well as improving diplomatic relations with the West (this shit happened in spite of the Cultural Revolution, not because of it, just fyi for those that don't know)
>Buddhism was still a major religion in India

>>2993163
Source on pic?

>>3000604
It's one of the most important, but not the greatest, and definitely not the greatest thruout history.

>>3000663
My history teacher in freshman year of high school (I was aged 14 for non Americans) told us that apartheid took place while Britain still ruled South Africa and that South Africa didn't get its independence until the early 90's with Mandela.

>>3000685
I was joking.
Of course, Canada is probably our closest ally, and the UK is our most important, though Australia and New Zealand are close, on virtue of being fellow Anglos.

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>>2993039
Thought you might be interested in this.
From "History of the World" by J. M. Roberts, 1993 edition.

Knew that sounded familiar.

>>2995157
I went to a lot of places in Central America and thought they would hate Americans because of all the banana wars and political machinations and shit. Not at all; and those were events sometimes just decades ago.

>>3000773

What the fuck was the edge to edge bite?

Can someone recommend some good books on the Late Bronze Age Collapse?

My misconception is that the European dark ages were what set humanity back the most, when maybe it was the late bronze age collapse. but idk i just want to read the books please and not make a new thread about it.

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>>2997682
>>2997610
>>2994927
wtf
even namekians claim germany

>>3000844
If you close your mouth, your front few teeth from your upper jaw should be in front of the teeth from your lower jaw. Apparently back then, these teeth used to match up perfectly.

>>2995471
>Attila the Hun and Genghis Khan were different names for the same person
I've thought this, looked it up, and forgotten it multiple times in my life.

>>2996351
Same. Seems like many people in this thread had no idea what the fuck the HRE was. I don't know if it was mentioned when I was in school, in California.

>>2996703
>Alladin
Wow, that is some great trivia.

>>2998508
I have met many people who did not realize that the Soviet Union was not initially with the Allies.

>>2998878
Only takes a quick jaunt to /pol/ to see that alive and well.

>>2994955
>the continent
>the
You poor child

>>3000844
I assume he means a bite where the edges of your front and bottom teeth line up, as opposed to what we have now, with our front teeth in front of our bottom teeth.

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>>2994977
>the maps I saw in cartoons were just oversimplified like a lot of things in cartoons.

>>3000871
Most Latin Americans are taught that "America" is one continent, from Argentina to Alaska. They get preeetty rustled up if you refer to the USA as "America". One of my favorite things to argue with them about.

>>2994549
this one stings

>>2997657
dey wronge
>>2998378
a random priest vs the leader of a country everyone was necessarily involved with
there's no reason we can't be skeptical of emperor tiberius' existence, but we should be all the more skeptical of the singular jesus

>>2995142
>I thought English peasants had short dreary lives when really they (often) had it pretty good.

By any chance, did you just learn this last week when that redpilled peasant weaved that thread complaining about feudalism's superiority

>>2995171
same
i never heard of the persian gulf, and always imagined the desert being somewhere in mexico
simultaneously forgetting the huge span of coastline on texas

>>2996345
that's the tough shit for people to understand
christians and jews dance over all the incest and genocide but think it's impossible for muslims to maintain cognitive dissonance in a constructive way

it's all garbage philosophy, but you could at least give them the benefit of the doubt - doubt that this warlike period is forever and that reformation is impossible

>>2996435
>Bet'mon'chu neg

I said it out loud
Does this mean "bet my own shoe, nig"?

>>2992966
>My country dindu nuffin

>>3000869
>>3000873
>gave way in AD 1066
But all that time? Rome and everything up to Jesus?
We're supposed to be laughing at this picture right?
That's far out...

>>2998878
>it's state capitalism unless it works, then it can be communism
>it never works
>therefore my perfect idea of communism has never been tried and all the failed dictatorships are capitalist nightmares

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>>2995011
>america is a spook
everything makes so much more sense now

>>3000939
I haven't found many other sources that discuss that, so I don't know.

He also mentioned that Britain was connected to the European mainland by a land bridge until ~9000 years ago, which seems to be true. Would have been during the last ice age, so I don't know who would have crossed it, but still.

>>3000945
The difference between state capitalism and communism is more than just the name. They have concrete definitions, you know. Even if the USSR was a massive success, it still wouldn't have been communism they were running with.

>>2996779
I don't care what the original folktale said, Disney's version with Agrabah was clearly Persian/Iranian

>>2997156

i love it when this meme absorbs new cultures

>>2997677
that's great

>>2998214
dat confidence
i could've 100% believed it was the real thing and if someone came at me i'd buckle like a blade of grass.
i could only hope they'd give me a "well you must have seen something similar" to save my face.

I thought that the United States was comprised of Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas, and Lousiana, while all the other states made up America, until i was like 8-9.

>>3001025
That's too specific to not have an explanation.

Also used to believe that native americans on both continents were just nature people sitting around doing nothing of importance, waiting around for Europeans to come colonize them.

>>2997601
i wonder if there are any children from similarly huge former empires who think it's the other way around
like, pol pot was chinese or mongolia is part of russia

>>3001030
They look like a person.

>>3000879
there are argentine people in my family who believe this
what a ridiculous thing to hold onto

>>3001038
To be fair, the continent system is pretty arbitrary. North / South America are separate, OK. But Asia and Europe? Hm.

Plenty of debate, at least in the US, about whether Oceania is a proper continent or not. It doesn't really have any geological grounding.

I just get grumpy when Latinos complain about the US being called "America". I don't know why "estadounidense" is acceptable to them but Unitedstatesian sounds retarded to me. We are the only ones with "America" in our name, and they know damn well what we're talking about.

>>3000974
>They have concrete definitions, you know. Even if the USSR was a massive success, it still wouldn't have been communism they were running with.

Than the difference between Russia's, China's, Camboadia's, et cetera's, "capitalism" and actual capitalism is wide enough that it's as comparable to the real thing as actual communism.
And must their failures are 100% tied to the deluded communists that built those countries.

>>3001033
Heh, glad I asked.

>>3001053
>than
>and must their
then*
and their*
PLEASE EXCUSE ME

>ERE was just greeks pretending to be romans
>everywhere in russia is cold and snowy all year
>native americans only lived in small villages, also aztecs and the like were hispanic
>japan has super advanced technology better than anywhere else
>soviet union was just russians
>all italians are direct descendants of rome
>buddhism, eastern religions are just different kinds of judaism or christianity, also all christians are protestants
>all africans outside of egypt are black, and look exactly like African Americans
>Egypt was the only civilization before the Greeks
>Rome stole everything from the Greeks

this one was when i was really young
>native americans dont exist anymore

>>3001051
Not to mention "United States of America" vs "United Mexican States". So mexicans can be mexican but americans are from the United States?

>>3001053
>>3001058
You're excused, but I was definitely about to bitch about having to understand that writing.

I don't want to get too into this because it's the /his/ board and it feels like a /pol/ discussion. I would say that I wouldn't tie the failures or successes of any nation at any point "100%" to something like an economic system. And I know you don't honestly believe that state capitalism would be just as far from "real" capitalism as communism.

>>3001069
I never thought to make that point. Now I can hardly wait, thanks anon.

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>>2994444
checked

>>2993741
>>2993843
>>Used to believe the Serbs were the only ones genociding in the Yugoslavian Wars


Serb here, not the only ones, albeit it was disproportionate. Nothing like Srebenica on the other sides.

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>>2998922

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All basically variants of the Noble Savage misconception. Fuck, this is still pushed today by both right and left alike, I've even seen Natives push this logic

>Natives used to be peaceful and lived with nature in a practical utopia before Europeans
>no politics, cities, civilization, backstabbing, greed, war, destruction, etc.
>they willingly gave away all of their land due to their generosity and naivety.

>>3000663
>the primary reason Europeans came to the New World was for religious freedom (it was a religious school, surprise surprise)
>The Book of Exodus, as described in the Bible, actually happened
>Egyptians were stupid pagans who didn't accomplish much but the Pyramids they built with Jewish slaves
None of this is wrong?

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>>3001119
Listen, I know it's 4chan, and baiting is fun and whatever, but is it really that funny, every time?

Can we uphold some level of quality here?

>>3001075
If the difference between State Capitalism and Capitalism is the same as the difference between U.S.A and Soviet Russia, then it is enormous.

I think you are underestimating the nature of economics as a phenomenon. It's not just the way a guy makes money, it reflects the nature of a fundamental, unifying philosophy of the country.
I'm talking Collectivism vs. Individualism.
Economics, as the sum of all interactions between people - trading goods and naturally adjusting market values - is something as complex as climate dynamics.

I think it's totally fair to pin the success of a nation on it's economic approaches. ESPECIALLY when that approach is written into everything from the national anthem to the constitution.

>>3001125
There are numerous proofs of Exodus happening?

>>3001125
Poor spongebob
We made it this far. Just keep with it.

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>>2995212
>The US Army was the most Allied effective fighting force in WW1 because they refused to dig trenches and fought smarter than the dumb Euros, who were amazed by our clever troops using maneuver tactics.

The reason why a Marine brigade was wiped out at Belleau woods

>>2994927
>>3000864
The word for germans in most slavic languages literally means "mutes" or "the mute ones", because we apparently couldn't understand them.

I didn't Mongolia still existed.

>>2992966
WE

>>2998589
Only in terms of declaring church doctrine, and even then its specific.

He's just a man except his opinion on some Jesus stuff is just plain correct.

>>2999906
Churchill was kinda a Jewish puppet though.

>>2995796
If you ever drive down the East Coast between Boston and NYC, this is kinda true, save a few brief stints of trees.

I suppose it'll be true of the entire highway system, someday.

>>2996706
>I new
kill kys

>>2992966
i though that gallipoli was the galapagos islands, several of my class mates thought that gallipoli was in australia
(this was after a semester of a ww1 course)

>>2992966
>When i was in grade school i tought that wars were fought in designated areas

>there was no technological advancemeny in the middle ages
>King Arthur was real

>>3001184
Why do English and such use a similar word for the Jerries then?

>>3001119
Nope, sweetie. Europeans forgot how to bath so they had to be taught by aztecs so their subhuman practices stopped.

>>3001598
It was what the Romans called them

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>>2998300
>>2993102

Thought hungarians are huns.

>>2997106
Same here
>thought every major ruler in Europe was Hungarian because we have a tendency of translating foreign royal names, like I thought II. Erzsébet, the current queen of Britain is a Hungarian old lady
>for the same reason I thought Wilhelm Tell (Tell Vilmos) was a Hungarian hero
>I thought that the president of the USA is the literal king of the whole world
>I thought that modern Egyptians and Greeks still believe in their old gods
>I imagined that during the Roman times every other area of Europe was barren with an extremely small population
>I thought that during the medieva era 99% of the people were peasants who worked the fields

>>3001572
The Greeks used to do this, didn't they? Staged battles?
We should bring those back for minor wars, things not important enough for guerrilla warfare, and whatnot.

>>3000097
I too used to think the city of Rome was 100% ruins in this day and age, remember seeing a movie when I was 12 set in the 17th century where someone goes to Rome and I asked my parents if they just had parties in the ruins and they replied "the city of Rome is still around today anon?"

>>2994513
Is this real life. Your colleague has to be stupid.

>>2999813

I keked

>>2992966

I bought the noble Muslim meme. I thought most early muslims were like Saladin and Mohammed and that the murder and intrigue was mostly down to a few people who felt wronged or let the position go to their heads..

It's only recently i learned what a massive shit show Islam was after Mohammed died.

>>2992966
>thought the Trojan war happened exactly like Homer said it did when I was a kid
>thought julius caesar was the first roman emperor
>never knew the Byzantine empire existed until after I finished high school
>thought Lenin was a good guy and Stalin was evil and fucked everything up
>didn't know Italy was a kingdom even when Mussolini was in charge
>thought Italy and Germany were always united countries (had never heard of Garibaldi or Bismarck)
>for some reason I thought the arabs in the arab revolt and the boxers in china were really primitive (bows and arrows etc)

>>3001834
>I thought that the president of the USA is the literal king of the whole world
>I thought that modern Egyptians and Greeks still believe in their old gods
>I imagined that during the Roman times every other area of Europe was barren with an extremely small population
>I thought that during the medieval era 99% of the people were peasants who worked the fields
I believed all of this, especially the greek and egyptian thing until we did early christianity in religion class

>>2997662
Literally had someone in history class a couple of years ago claim that agriculture was invented by Egypt in the end of the 15th century.

>>3002214
>>thought Lenin was a good guy and Stalin was evil and fucked everything up
Sp, are you now a full-on Stalinist, or do you realize that Lenin was not a good guy?

>>3002253
I realise that Lenin was not a good guy, or at least not as good as I thought he was. Stalin was worse but he was able to get his shit together and beat Hitler at least. I'm not a Stalinist or even a communist though

>>2996703
>Portugal was irrelevant
DELETE this!!!!!!!

>>3002087
Not really, just ignorant. He's a researcher with a PhD, quite intelligent and successful.

I thought Cleopatra was racially Egyptian until I was in my 20s.

>>3002214
>Italian Kingdom
News to me, damn. I have such a hard time keeping track of the parliamentarian and royal systems of countries outside the US. I also thought that Italy had been united since the Roman times.

>>3002249
There's....but....the....

>>3002334
They've been a republic since WWII just fyi

I forgot another one, I used to think that blacks in the US didn't own slaves.

>>3002339
I realize my post was a little unclear - I hadn't realized that they had a king as far as WWII, but I appreciate the FYI.

>>3002214
> boxers in china were really primitive (bows and arrows etc)

Please, bows would have been an i improvement over "muh kung fu magic will protect me"

>>3001093
Fellow Serb here. I am curious about your statement here. While killing 1 to 5000 muslim conscripted soldiers, many of whom had no desire to be in the army in the first place is by no means not a shitty thing to do, why do think that displacing 2 to 300.000 Serbs from Slavonia in present day Croatia, and grenading and bombing and strafing from air the columns of civilians running away from their land is "nothing like Srebrenica"?

The whole war/wars was/were a clusterfuck and no-one could escape it with any shred of dignity intact, but Im curious to know why do you think that driving serbs out of croatia, and shooting and murdering innocent people who are running for their lives is 'nothing like' i.e. a smaller problem than killing people who were under arms in a paramilitary organization?

>>3002322
[spoiler] Vós fostes mais relevantes no passado, devo mencionar. Actualmente (2000 a 2017) não se vê tanta notícia sobre os lusos. [/spoiler]
>>2997101
I want Sakhalin and Kuril to be Japanese territory, but I guess Russia won't open her hands easily.

>>3003010
>it's a Serb war crimes denial thread

DO IT AGAIN BOMBER CLARK

>>3003034
When and where did I deny anything?

>>2992966
I thought Alaska was an island when I was in 2nd grade.

>>2993302
No, they were dropping dead from tooth infections. Man, can tooth infections be deadly. Wish we had replaceable teeth like some species.

>>3003038
>Srebrenica was POWs and not civilians
>Srebrenica was 1,000-5000 killed and not 8,000+
>b-b-but what about-

>>3003067
That is debatable, but still, how does unlawfully murdering 8000 as you say, civilians somehow fare worse than displacing 300.000 people and killing those who chose to stay behind?

>>3003081
>this is debatable

This is the bullshitter's favorite line. "We can't know anything for sure, so my asspull is as good as your evidence"

>As of July 2012, 6,838 genocide victims have been identified through DNA analysis of body parts recovered from mass graves;[20]
>The Preliminary List of People Missing or Killed in Srebrenica compiled by the Bosnian Federal Commission of Missing Persons contains 8,373 names.[1]

>>3003104
Will you kindly answer my question?

>>2996270
This is a bit biased, since it's a poll and a lot of people did believe in communism firmly.

Reminder that the Serbian military literally ran over their civilians so they could escape.

Let me quote Slobo.

"Utekli su k'o zečevi, a sada hoće da ih Jugoslavija brani. Više su izginuli u bežaniji sa stanovništvom nego što bi izginuli držeći linije…"

"Molim vas, šest hiljada Hrvata je branilo Vukovar pola godine. Napadala je cela Prva armija, vazduhoplovstvo, čudo, sva sila koju je imala JNA, a oni nisu odbranili Knin, kojem se može prići samo iz tri pravca, nisu se mogli braniti ni 12 sati."

"Da smo istog dana napravili idiotsku glupost da im pomognemo, ko bi to stigao do Knina do večeri da im pomogne? Pitanje je ko je, zaista, doneo odluku da krajiško rukovodstvo napusti Krajinu?"

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>>2992966
I can't be the only one

when i was around 11 i legit tought that we still lived in the sovjet union(i am hungarian and this was around 1997.)

>>3003270
no, you are not.

>>2992966
That the German nazis said that Slavs are a race of subhumans. It's literally non-existent in any primary source materials, in fact they went out of their way to say that their Slavic allies are Aryans, and Goebbels outright said that subhumans exist in every race and that the word isn't a synonym to non-Aryan.

I thought Afghanistan was somewhere in Syria and that Germany was still ruled by Nazis somewhere when I was 8.

>>2993079
>Man who doesn't know where Louisiana is acts smug towards Americans on internet

>>2992966
>Reagan funded/created the Taliban
>Vietnam war was nothing but guerilla warfare in the jungle
>Arabs genocided the original Egyptians
>confused states with ethnicities (thought there were "ethnic Babylonians" or "ethnic Cubans")
>Balkan wars were about Bosnia waging war against Herzegovina
>Hungarians are Asians living in Europe
>Romanians are Romans
>Crusaders were Lutherans (I don't even know why)

I didn't think that the collapse of the soviet union was so recent. I thought it happened in like the 60's.

>>3003379
Were you born after '95 or something?

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>>3003380
96

>>3003379
I thought the Soviet Union was still around.

t. born '95

>>3003414
What was Elliot Rodgers doing in London?

>>3003439
Trynna get some pussy

>>3003204
>I asked some people what they preferred. I'm going to discount the opinions of people who said they liked one of the things, because they were biased in that they liked it.

>>2992966
>Everybody was married before 21
>Medieval wars involved hundreds of peasants speaking one language fighting hundreds of thousands of peasants speaking a different language
>Modern national identities existed in the middle ages
>Jesus was a myth because he shared some of his origin story with other religious figures

For 21 years I thought Alfred the Great united England and kicked out the Vikings

When I was 4-5 I thought Hitler was alive and in jail and people could visit him

I also thought Stalin had 50 million people shot for not being communists

For some reason I believed Sweden was a democracy since before 1776 and elected a woman president in the early 19th century

>>3003439
His dad was an Anglo

>>3003793
>Modern national identities existed in the middle ages
Some did, some didn't.

>>3003378
>>Romanians are Romans
Romanians do claim that

>>2995212
When I was a kid I thought the Americans won the War for Independence because they used camouflage and the Brits had their Red coats. Like actual modern camouflage in the vein of ERDL.

>>3003873
No, they claim to be Dacians.

>>3003883
Maybe it's a diaspora thing. A guy I knew was adamant that Romania, after Rome was through pacifying the Dacians was a cushy Roman province and how Romanians are descendants of the creme de la creme of Roman military.

>>2993264
There wasn't?

>>2994836
>my brother thought there were two Hitlers: Adult Hitler and Kid Hitler. He misheard Adolf as adult

That sounds like it could be a WKUK sketch

>>2999813
My grandfather was a coin collector. When I was a little kid he showed me some old buffalo nickels and Indian head pennies. I assumed they were from back when the Indians still ruled Murrica, before the whites took over.

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>>2992966
Heard:
>The Provisional IRA targeted innocent civilians!
>The French were cowards in WWII!
>The British contributed a lot to the allied victory in WWII!
>America winning WWII by itself is a meme!
>Russia won WWII, lend lease doesn't matter!
>The Potato Famine could have been avoided if the Irish fished British owned waters the Brits had already fished dry, or grown crops the British confiscated!
>The Union didn't start the Civil War, muh first shot!

Believed:
>British people are human beings

>>3004354
Hey, one of those statements is objectively correct.

>>3004359
Except all of them are either false or exaggerated.
The French were less cowardly in WWII than the British at the very least. American didn't win BY ITSELF but it contributed the most and was the main factor in winning the war.

Everything else is a lie.

>>3004363
Wait.

Two of them were objectively correct.

I missed one.

>>2992966
I thought that Colombus was Spanish

>>2992966
Aztecs were more bloodthirsty than the Spaniards. Turns out they were both assholes. No wonder Mexico ended up so bad.

>>3003378

>>Reagan funded/created the Taliban
Correct
>>Vietnam war was nothing but guerilla warfare in the jungle
Correct, + dropping bombs over North Vietnam and dropping cancer gas over the people.
>>Hungarians are Asians living in Europe
Essentially correct.

>>3004646
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yii1u2Lz-II

>>2994549
To be fair it was Catholic France who saved the Ottomans from a total defeat in that war to preserve the balance of power and grab some free clay.

>>3003027
>I want Sakhalin and Kuril to be Japanese territory
Same. I just think it'd be better-looking on the map.

>>3004354
Kill yourself, you filthy Mick.

>>2992966
When I was a little kid I thought my dad had a time machine, because I found a picture of him, myself when I was a baby, and some civil war reenactors.

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>>3004354
>being this disabled

>>3005887
Did he not have a time machine?

>>2993979
>It was sustainable under constant militaristic expansion, colonization and displacement and enslavement of the native population.

This in itself is not sustainable

>>3001130
>I'll just vaguely allude to evidence because I'm a faggot

>>3005906
Sadly no

>>3004354
>geographical distribution of troops is the only measure of contribution

This was basically my perception of the world. Shouldn't be hard to guess what country I'm from

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>>3006015
Forgot pic

>>3006019
But where's Japan? Land of Pokemon and anime?

>>3003010
Because being homeless is considered preferable to being dead. On general principle, evictions are not considered equal to murder.

>>2996904
>I thought Austria was taken over by Germany in one of the world wars and didn't exist anymore.
I wish.

>>3004646
How many layers of irony are you on?

>>3004646

Hungarians look nothing like Asians, they are a mix of Iranic Sarmatian people and steppe turks.

The rest is true.

>>3007013
Vietnam war wasn't mostly guerilla war, in fact most of Vietnam war didn't even involve American troops.

>>2997106
That's because translating names was the custom in the past but it isn't anymore. Those old translated names just stuck.

>>3001572
They used to be, we called it 'Europe'.

>>2994549
>held masses praying for Turkish victory.
any sources on this?

>>3006260
>Chinese cartoons
in China ofc

>>3006019
Looks about right.

t. Frenchman.

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>>2992966
>"Mesopotamia, located in modern Iraq"

I have a few. Most of these were what I thought as a kid.
>Couldn't grasp the concept of "New" in place names and so I generally believed things like "New England" was owned by the UK
>I thought Mary queen of Scots and Mary I were the same person
>Vietnam was a war and not a country
>how Anglicanism operates was more or less how all of Christianity operates; I'm a bong so this isn't as bad
>Native Americans all had horses and all lived in teepees
>there was a genuine connection between Indians and Red Indians, other than the mistaken identity
>Portuguese and Spanish are the same

I thought the holocaust was real

>>3001031
The vast majority of them were.

>>3006015
>>3006019
kanker

>>2993079
>blame living in Louisiana
Are YOU by chance an American?

>>3007363
>Qadesh and Ugarit is Mesopotamia
Full retard

>>3009019
>post a group photo
>"oh that's me"
>"NO IT'S NOT YOU'RE ONLY ONE PERSON WHAT THE FUUUUU"

That's what you sound like

>>3009039
Reddit?

>>3009043
>FUUUUU
>reddit

You have no idea.

>>2996270
a fucking survey

>>3003270
Its sad for me to say I didnt get it was actually just in the city when I was 16

>>3000773
>rotting teeth
Not really, at least not until the neolithic revolution changed our diets drastically. Traditional hunter-gatherers in Africa have perfect teeth, it's observable to this day.

There are, granted, a few odd hunter-gatherer populations who experienced tooth decay due to having particularly starch-heavy diets as a result of the surrounding edible flora, but that was abnormal.

>>2992966
I thought bison were extinct until I was about 17. I thought all "modern" images of them were just fake joke images or featured some other animal related to bison that weren't actually bison.

Everybody was always talking about "muh bison genocide" and I just assumed they were all dead.

To this day it still sometimes baffles me that some countries didn't exist in 1800

>>3001119
Not sure about the other stuff but pyramids were built by farmers who had nothing better to do during some parts of the year

>>3010946
Which countries, in particular?