>tfw the only way I can motivate myself to clean my by pretending

I simultaneously smiled goofily and autistically as I read this, and also wanted you to kys you little tardy sped

>>2831434
thx senpai

>>2831482
Np babe ;)

>>2831400
That's pretty autistic, but I like it.

My backyard in the house I grew up in was pretty big. For me it was a map of some fictional place. I knew precisely which kingdoms occupied which lands, which wars they fought, the history of the rise and fall of these kingdoms, the various migrations and invasions from lands outside its bounds, the culture and dress of the regions etc

i-is it autism?

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I pretend my leaf blower/vacuum cleaner is an M2 flamethrower and I'm clearing bunkers full of japs on Kwajalein when I sweep my yard and house.

Wtf I so this too

Unfortunately I came up with something called the "stuff doctrine" where the strategy for cleaning is to stuff everything into a suitcase or box and forget about it.

>>2831400
at first i was like
now im like i like it

>>2831400

I don't have autism so no

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>>2831400
Please kys as swiftly as possible

Most often during my commute, but sometimes at other moments I imagine Socrates or some other ancient person, and I try to recount to them as if they were sitting next to me the course of events from their lifetime up until the present day.

I don't really know how it started. My guess is it has something to do with how impressed I was when I was 18 and first read Plato with how alive the speakers in the dialogues seemed to be despite the text being so ancient.

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>>2831643
kek

>>2831643
While doing landscaping with my dad, I liked to pretend we were entrenching a military camp

>>2831710
Sounds like your room is in need of reform

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>they don't imagine a dialogue and pretend they are being interviewed for a high-profile outlet when thinking over an issue/rehearse what they would say should the opportunity ever arise

>>2831788
This
and
>>2832141
This combined

>>2831642
>I-is it autism?
No, that's just being a kid. But then again, you are on 4chan in adulthood, which is basically as good as a diagnosis

In my professional opinion, I'd say you are at least a sperg

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>>2831400
I flex my buttcheeks up and down when I'm sitting passenger in my moms car. Not each cheek at the same time, but one cheek at a time.It feels like I'm running with my buttcheeks at high speed.

I also flex both buttcheeks upwards at the same time to 'hurdle' over black tar lines/bumps in every time I do this. Feels satisfying as I feel the front tires and back tires go 'bump-bump,' as in my mind I'm gliding over the bumps like a gazelle or super human. Been doing this since I was in elementary school.

>>2832189
You probably have pretty firm arse cheeks

When I play Crusader Kings 2, I always get the hardest, thickest boner whenever I went wife shopping.

All those nubile, chesty 16 year old girls. Some of them from exotic lands like Scotland or the Levant, and my 21 year old emperor is calling on them to warm his bed! Just visualizing the introductions and sex is enough to rub a hard one out.

>>2832195
Unfortunately not. I've lived a pretty sedentary lifestyle.

When tightening bolts with an impact driver at work I'll sometimes look to the left then look to the right to make sure the coast is clear. Then I'll ball my left hand into a fist and place the heal on the impact, then put my face up against that hand assuming a firing stance and I'll tighten that bolt in medium busts.
It's the closest I will ever get to doc pho.

>>2831400
i do this too basically OP. i think of my room as an empire and by keeping it organized i rule it properly. pretty fun desu I call it my "empire of goods"

>>2832141
everyone does that including normalfags

>>2832201
It's even better when you play a culture that can have multiple wives/concubines

>>2831400
sounds comfy tb.h

Never done this before, but it actually makes me want to clean now.

>>2834224
I run my whole life like this

Your body is your capital city. >Hygiene is keeping your streets, monuments, and buildings well maintained
>first and foremost, keep your citizens (you) well fed and there will be less risk of revolt (bad mood)
>fitness is training your troops and building infrastructure. Bit difficult to conflate the two, but fitness simutainously makes you stronger and your body run more efficiently, so it makes sense
>mental health is your bureaucracy and upper class. Keep them happy, but don't allow them to get too decadent (playing too many vidya, tv, drugs etc.)

Basically extend this logic to the rooms of your house
>kitchen provience is my nations breadbasket. Keep well maintained and well stocked
>bathroom provience is where all of my tradesmen come from (tradesmen == things that keep my body maintained e.g., toothbrush, soap, etc.)
>living room provience is where all of my luxuries come from (tv, computer, etc.). I also conflate it with my 'palace' i.e., it's where I entertain any guests, so it should display my nations wealth

That's basically it. It autistic, but fun

>>2831400
No, but I'm going to
>tfw genociding the carpet Jews with the vacuum

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>>2832189
Holy shit this. I used to imagine that the tar lines were lasers and if I didn't butt-jump over them I'd lose my ass

>>2834481
>"historians debate whether or not Anons decision to genocide (throw away) all the neglected, moldy dishes was necessary. Surely he could have just washed them. However, some argue that this was a necessary move to preserve his nation's health and energy"

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>>2832201
I only got this boner when I arranged a good marriage for my children. If I actually was a Feudal lord the feeling of signing my son or daughter's marriage contract to a promising partner with good stats and a chance to give me some claims in 70 years time would've filled me with a burning desire to give my wife another child to raise.

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>>2834531
>when your heir's wife is simultaneously beautiful, young, and has great stats
I imagine myself giving a knowing wink to my son as I introduce her to him

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>>2834562
I prefer it when she's beautiful, young, has great stats and is a few years older than him.
Let the /ss/ begin.

>>2834568
>matrilineally marrying off your shittiest son to a far away milf so he can't ruin your empire

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>>2834489
you're just like me bro

good shit

>>2831400
I used to spend hours every day all summer observing ants when I was a child, I always tried to favour one colony with divine gifts (like bits of chocolate) so it could impose an hegemony over the others.
Good times.

>>2832201
>exotic lands like Scotland

>>2832141
>tfw pretend I'm giving a huge speech at the Nuremberg rallies complete with wild arm gestures.

sometimes when im walking home to my shitty job, in real shitty weather, feeling cold, but runny nose and cant wait to finally get home

i think, in another time, id be out in this weather on the frontline, with a rifle, with slim chances of survival

>>2832201
Getting a harem of 5 sixteen years old plus cucking every noble in my realm is always exciting. I always try to marry relatives to each other, inbreeding over generation strangely arouse me..

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>you could have been playing your life like a Paradox game this entire time
So many wasted years