So I'm only 19, finishing freshman year of college
>inb4 newfag kiddo faggot b8
So I've been struggling with balancing the ethical and moral concepts that were pushed on me at birth. I was taught (essentially) that life is intrinsically meaningful, that acting a certain way has metaphysical consequences, and that the world exists outside my perception, and that this world does in fact exist in a concrete way separate from my consciousness.
As I've gotten older I've felt a natural pull in essentially the opposite direction. I feel compelled to believe that the world I perceive has meaning because I give it meaning, and that there is nothing intrinsically meaningful beyond my judgement. This seems narcissistic, though, like who am I to decide what has meaning and what doesn't, but the more I think about it the more difficult it becomes to argue against it.
I recently took a cute little test to see which philosopher I was most like, and I got Sartre/Camus (existentialists). Basically this whole post is about what I should read to help me understand these ideas better.
I'm not well read in philosophy, but I like to read and I pick things up easily. What books would you recommend.
>>2719636
Read the books in brackets and move on from there:
Schopenhauer (The World As Will and Idea)
Camus (The Myth of Sisyphus)
Sartre (Being and Nothingness)
Stirner (The Ego and Its Own)
Nietzsche (Thus Spoke Zarathustra , The Will to Power)
Descartes (Meditations on First Philosophy)
Siddhārtha ( Buddhism)
The Bible ( Ecclesiastes)
there are no morals, you are a sapient being but there is no evidence this has any meaning, death is the absolute worst thing that can happen to you, if you had any sense you would utterly dedicate every waking moment to gaining power and achieving immortality at the expense of other sapient beings if necessary, but you won't as you are biologically programmed to do nothing but gain pleasure and avoid pain
>>2719702
Alright, thanks.
>>2719719
Glad to help,
Are you studying Philosophy ?
>>2719724
Histroy. I thought about philosophy, but I feel like history would be a more diverse degree. It's just my bachelors so it's not the most important thing. I want to study western esoterica and mystical texts.