>Okay Austria we handle France while you keep Russians off our backs.
>Austria... what are you doing?
>A-Austria???
>Leave it to me, stumpy
>We will stop them at the border
> Okay Willy the eternal anglo sees us both as a threat to their power. As long as we stick together we should be safe
> Willy... what are you doing?
> W-Willy???
>>2710808
>oh, heh, i forgot to tell ya...italy might attack you too, and your vulnerable to an allied assault from greece when you're looking week! don't worry, though, you got this, pal!
>okay Wilhelm I made sure two front war is impossible to occur just remember France has to be diplomatically isolated in order to neutralize the threat, don't fuck things up, listen to me like your dad did and Germany will surpass Britain
>Wilhelm... what are you doing?
>you dumb cripple piece of shit ???
>Leave Austria to me!
>>2710845
> Not so fast, you Rusça scoundrel
> I have devised this ingenious plan. Instead of sending my main force to capture Suez and strangle the British Empire, I will send my armies into the freezing Caucasus without winter clothes!
>Wha-what's happening
>Fucking Armenians
>Alright mates, I got it all planned, we will strike throught the sea at Gallipoli!
>>2710890
kek
>>2710808
Leave Russia to me.
>>2710878
>Do not worry we are not going to get involved in the war.
>Just reelect me everything will be OK were isolationists remember.
>OK we are joining the war.
>>2710808
>Don't worry guys we're happy to ally ourselves with Germany and Austria
>Well, technically though attacking the crown prince isnt really an attack per se in the italian meaning of the word, but we'll talk about it after our trip to London, don't worry though, we'll put in a good word
>about that Naval Bill Willy
>I think the British will really really like us if we build that navy
>*shitposts in newspaper until asked to be premier*
1910
>I think attacking is the way of the future guys
1914
>I think we should definately attack, attacking is going to be key to success in this one
1915
>trust me guys attacking is going to pay off big
1916
>Ok guys cult of the offensive paid off big lets keep going
1917
>Look you americans are new to this, trust me when i say this, your going to want to attack
>>2710808
>Dude
>*Sniggers*
>Dude.
>Just, just attack Constantinople directly and knock the Turks out of the war.
>Turks suck kek
>What could honestly, possibly, go wrong hihihi?
>>2710808
A firm alliance with Austria is clealy our best diplomatic move. Surely they won't go charging off a cliff at a bunch of Balkan terrorists while we are chained to them.
>>2710808
Just spark a war among the great powers, and we will have a glorious South Slavic empire for.......almost 70 years, minus two crushing occupations and a civil war or two.
>>2712918
Princip did nothing wrong, it was Austria and Germany themselves that started this whole thing.
*blocks your path*
Well, /his/?
1916
>Alright Haig I want you to pull our armies out of Belgium and have them go to the Austrian fronts instead
>No
1917
>What's up Haig?
>Holy shit the Krauts are about to break through my lines I need reinforcements right fucking now
>Nah doesn't seem important
1918
>What you doing there Haig?
>I've broken through the enemy lines and Allied troops have entered Germany itself
>Sounds like you need to be replaced
1928
>Now that Haig is dead I have a way to shift all my fuck-ups onto him
>>2712538
kek
>>2710894
Would have worked if they followed Churchill's plans properly and kept the element of suprise. Just like with the fucking gas. Just like with the fucking tanks.
Ww1 fucking sucks man
>>2710808
Willy and AH wanted to destroy Russia, why didn't they ally with Japan; a country which had defeated Russia before and team up to defeat it
>>2710878
IT'S OVER LUIGI I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND
>>2710808
>here i have created a splendid plan for defeating France in one and one warfare
>let me just add it to our other warplans for defeating multiple opponents
>ah, Moltke! i see you've started a war with France and Russia, your going to want to use war pla-
>Moltke my boy, you seem to have mistakenly picked my plan for fighting only France, lets just put tha-
>Moltke! the British will surely defend Belgian nutra-
>Moltke that's not even what the plan actually says!
>Moltke No!
>>2713918
You underestimate my power!
>>2714097
Seriously, how many 10's of thousands of men died because of his autistic obsession with that fucking river?
Why didn't you Balkanize it?
> arabs will be our BFF just trust me guise, allahu akbar
>>2714001
>ok, the moment we have been waiting 40 years for is finally here
>lets take a look at the plan that has been years in the making
>its says 'keep the right wing strong'.
>hmm ok
>'the french will be lured into attacking far into the weak alsace lorraine only to realize paris has fallen because of their army is in the strategically worthless alsace and not defending paris'
>ok
>ammendum
>'keep the right wing strong, its the key to the whole plan'
>oh, its a note that has Schlieffen's last words it reads, 'keep the right wing strong'.
>....
>....
>*Moves 30% of the right wing to the left wing*
>There. Perfect.
>>2710808
>The british are really going to love this interview, trust me
>>2715231
>>2710808
>I don't see any reason to edit it all. Publish
>I think serbia has gone over the line by killing our next ruler and my son
>I'm almost positive serbia is to blame, seeing as they assassinated their own king for not being jingoistic enough
>we'll demand that serbia officially declare it is chilling the fuck out, especially over bosnia, and if they don't we'll need to make them chill the fuck out
>russia will probably understand
>>2710808
>FUCK MY EYES AHHHHH
>FUCKING JEWS
>THEYLL PAY FOR THIS
>>2715272
>m-maybe we should t-try defense
>*fired*
>sorry sweetie but you can't just invade Kuweit m'kay?
>ummm what do you mean I told you we won't get involved? sweetie learn to take a joke
> I think we should ally with the Japanese against Mao
>Hey guys, where are you going?
>Guys?
Is there a reason that autists forget the fact that Germany wasn't the only central power fighting a two front war?
>>2712918
Black Hand was just a militaristic offshoot of the Illyrian movement and had not a clue about WW breaking out.
They did much more harm to Serbia by extingushing Obrenovic dynasty.
>>2710808
>Defending along an over-extended front, the Serbian Supreme Command decided to abandon Belgrade. The city was evacuated on 29/30 November. The Austro-Hungarians entered the city on 1 December, prompting yet more celebrations in Vienna.[32] The Serbian people withdrew alongside their army and many retreated to Niš, where news of Belgrade's fall was greeted "impassively", as it had been "expected since the beginning of the war". Albin Kutschbach, a German agent in Niš, reported: "More refugees are arriving by the day, and despite many people being sent on south, there are certainly still 60,000 people here." Germany responded to the capture of Belgrade with delight and sent a congratulatory telegram to the Austro-Hungarian leadership. The Austro-Hungarians ascertained that their war with Serbia would soon be over and began preparing for the country's occupation.[27] On 2 December, the anniversary of Franz Joseph's 66th year on the throne, Potiorek wrote that he was "laying town and fortress Belgrade at His Majesty's feet".[33]
>Determined to play his part, the aging Serbian king, Peter I, took a rifle and accompanied his troops to the front.[34] The Serbian offensive caught the Austro-Hungarians by surprise, and at the time that the attack was launched they were holding a large military parade through the streets of Belgrade.[27] The Austro-Hungarians now found themselves defending along an over-extended front as Potiorek had just begun strengthening his left flank, leaving the front line very lightly held.
>One Austro-Hungarian soldier wrote: "We could not have imagined that the Serbs were on our heels, after all we had recently been victorious."[38] On 10 December, the Serbian Army captured the lower reaches of the Drina, forcing the majority of surviving Austro-Hungarian troops to flee across the river.[35]
>>2715403
This is WWI period, keep up with the program.
Speaking of which.
>Guys, guys, guys, check this out: I'm not president of China anymore. We empire again lol.
>>2715155
You look an awful lot like Peter O'Toole.
>Leave Serbia to me.
>[later]
>OH GOD THEY'VE GOT RIFLES
>HELP ME BULGARIA
I still think the German Empire was the greatest nation of its time.
>>2715287
underrated
We'll *cough* join the war *cough cough cough* ehhhhh mañana.
>Please don't come in, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't.
>Oh you're coming in? I'm flooding the house just to spite you.
>Fuck you Germany I'm calling Great Britain.
>I was only 25 years old.
>I loved the Americans so much, I studied in their public schools and rejoiced in their modern industry.
>I pray to America every night thanking them for the modernization the Philippines has been given.
>"What Spain failed to do in 300 years," I say, "America did in 10."
>My dad hears me and calls me an Hereje.
>He is obviously jealous of my gratitude to America
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to my room
>I am crying now, because my face hurts
>I go into my bed and it is very cold
>I feel a warmth moving towards me
>I felt something touch me
>It's America.
>I am so happy.
>He whispers into my ear, "Destroy the mad tyrants of Europe before they swallow the world in their endless games of empire."
>He grabs me with his powerful american hands and puts me in the United States Army.
>I'm ready to go to France.
>I fix my bayonet on my rifle
>He gives the order to go over the top and we get shot at by Germans.
>It hurts so much, but I do it for Freedom.
>I can feel my gut shot and my eyes start to water
>I push against the Germans.
>I want to please America.
>I roar a mighty roar as I die fighting the Germans.
>My dad walks in my funeral
>America looks him deep in the eyes and says, "The Kaiser is finished, he's gone to a better hole."
>America gives me a hero's burial.
America is love, America is life.
>It would be preferable if we avoid a war with China guys
>O-Oh alright
>Lets not attack America, we'll never win
>Oh
>>2712918
All he wanted was to not have to pay rent.
>alright ivan, here is plan
>actually, here is note with plan
>will protect from german boolet
>make sure you have with you all times
>all times
>see you after massurian lake fight, vodka on me
Thread music:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d9V-zUlrhEE
>>2715287
what did he mean by this?
>>2716967
>I'm the dictator now
>>2718381
>Not for long
>>2717660
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc0cTGg1-Js
better version
All the victorious powers are sitting down to work out a just peace for the world. America is our champion for the self-determination of all peoples. Surely they'll liberate us from French colonialism.
>>2710845
WTF do you think I'm doing?
You ordered mobilization first. You crossed my border before I crossed yours.
>>2712956
S T I E L H A N D G R A N A T E
>>2715155
His mistake wasn't thinking the British could be friends with Arabs but thinking that the political and military leaders who barely talked to anyone who wasn't British would take someone who actually knew the native population seriously.
>>2710845
>Hey there, Nicky...
>get ordered to protect the Isonzo
>alright
>luigi attacks
>fails
>he does it again
>he fails again
>everytime he fails, I hear him screeching on the other side
>it's fun after the first three times
>now it's just fucking annoying
What the fuck is that guys problem?
>>2718760
We'll take back the mainland next year.
>>2715508
>Is there a reason that autists forget the fact that Germany wasn't the only central power fighting a two front war?
The Italian front was an absolute joke under Cadorna. The reason everyone remembers Germany fighting a two front war is because they're the only ones that didn't fuck up beyond all reason.
WTF guys, you said you'd relieve my position. Why did you stop attacking?
>>2710808
>W-WHAT THE---
>DID YOU JUST SLAP ME IN THE ASS
>w-well t-thats ok, heh, just a joke, n-no harm no foul
>*later*
>I was minding my own business looking out a window today, fucking WILLY grabbed my ass. Who does he think he is? I went straight to Krupp steel (more like KRAP steel) and told him and his HUN friends to fuck offand promptly signed a deal with the French. Oh, willy will pay for this. I made sure his 'ally' the archduke couldn't get to dinner on the train ride too. Fuck germans, Romania is the true roman anyway.
>>2721358
>W-WHAT THE---
>DID YOU JUST SLAP ME IN THE ASS
>w-well t-thats ok, heh, just a joke, n-no harm no foul
>*later*
>I was minding my own business looking out a window today, fucking WILLY grabbed my ass. Who does he think he is? I went straight to Krupp steel (more like KRAP steel) and told him and his HUN friends to fuck offand promptly signed a deal with the French. Oh, willy will pay for this. I made sure his 'ally' the archduke couldn't get to dinner on the train ride too. Fuck germans, Romania is the true roman anyway.
fucking forgot pic
>>2710862
This. If they stuck to his plan, then it might have been the 'German Century'.
>>2712453
kek.
amazing meme
>Talaat
>get the Kurds
>>2712471
bastard kike puppet
>>2710808
What's a good source for leaving the basics of WW1 for somebody who really knows nothing about it except that it was utterly miserable to fight in?
>>2721416
Martin Gilbert's "The First World War" is the seminal overview. But it's just that, an overview. Was there anything. specific you wanted to know about?
Oh and btw there's a Youtube series called "The Great War" that mostly uses Gilbert, Hart, and a few other guys and covers the war week by week. Good for listening to while driving or exercising.
>>2721426
I mostly just want to know who was fighting who and why. I know that Germany and Britain were fighting as always, and France was on Britain's side, and there was a revolution in Russia that took them out of the war (pretty sure that they were supposed to be with France) and resulted in them becoming the USSR. America didn't enter the war until like the very last year. So who was even on Germany's side in this?
>>2715216
kekekekek
fucking moron.
>>2721443
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fi1OyVB2laY
>>2715216
>entire strategy depends on overwhelming strength of right wing.
>Right flank Overwhelming strategy is so critical that you invade independent Belgium just for better positioning
>Thus drawing Britain into the war, who will inevitably also draw US into the war.
>Still abandons the right flank plan
>>2715272
Franz Ferdinand was not Franz Josef's son.
>>2715297
>Surely the patriotism and heroic service I offer to my country will never be forgotten
>Surely no one will call me a traitor a few years later just because I step forward to shepherd and safeguard my homeland in its most difficult hour of defeat and weakness, when the government collapses and flees
>>2720006
>What? What?
>>2717543
this was funny at first, but it was sadder than it was funny.
No death in WW1 can be funny.
>>2719849
>WW2 over, Vietnamese free from Japan want independence and US inclined to say sure
>France REEEEEs so hard you have to let them have Vietnam again to keep their autism in line
>they fuck up badly enough you get saddled with their mistake anyway
The eternal Frank never dies
>>2721570
Maybe you already know this, but the Ho Chi Minh post was in keeping with the WWI theme. He went to Versailles in 1920 to plead for Vietnamese independence.
>>2721483
stop
>>2717445
>Spain
>Any reason at all to join
Besides, we would have been even worse than Italy.
>WE NEED MORE BATTLESHIPS THAN BRITAIN
>sir we can't build as many battleships as Britain
>WE NEED MORE SUBMARINES THAN EVERYONE
>Whelp, the Germans want to surrender, time to make peace terms.
>Should I take the prewar allied treaties into account?
>Nah, I'll just base it all on Muh Feels, I'm sure that congress and the rest of the allies will take it well, especially Italy
>>2721416
The BBC documentary "The Great War" is absolutely incredible, though there's a bit of an Anglo bias.
>>2712897
Is there any pictures of Willys hand not covered up?
>>2715272
>my son
>own king for not being jingoistic enough
LMAO
Aleksandar Obrenovic was universally hated, you're talking about a manchild. You're talking about r9k running a country. He brought down 11 governments during his 14 year rule, and organized 3 coups, first when he was 15, he proclaimed himself of age holding his regency at gunpoint. Later he suspended the constitution twice and made two new ones to increase his power. He tried to DEPORT his MOM when daddy came to visit, only to be thwarted by university students who intercepted the car with his mom in a bag.
He married his mom's handmaiden who was 13 years his senior, as well as a divorcé. She faked a pregnancy, and he wanted to make his little bro his heir because she couldn't have kids. The people were livid when they found out about the fake pregnancy. She also had the secret passage out of their room turned into a closet, which ultimately sealed their fate.
>>2723556
"Hey, you guys wanna check out my Sonic fanfiction?"
>>2723569
Kek the filename.
I know i bashed him, but it's all true, except the closet, that one's unconfirmed.
I kind of feel sorry for him, he never should have been a ruler, and his dad probably fucked him up in the head. Still doesn't excuse him.
>Willy, I've been a monarchist all my life but we fucked this war up. There's not way we can win and you have to abdicate or else there will be a revolution
*A few moments later*
>I never asked for the Kaiser to abdicate, it's all Groener's fault
>Germany could have won
>Fucking Catholics, Jews and civilians stabbed us in the back
>>2723556
* her brother.
>Come on men! We're halfway twoards the machine gu-
>Guys?
>Where'd you all go?
>>2721473
He basically used the Nazi victory as an excuse to grab total power and remake France in his own image. The kings of Denmark and Norway did a much better job of "shepherding the people".
>>2723682
The king of Norway fled the country
>>2721416
Dan Carlin's Blueprint for Armageddon
>>2723533
>fuck you italy i don't give a shit about your treaties
>orlando literally starts crying
>sir, its time to decide borders for the non german states
>Its really hot in here
>my feet hurt
>i'm bored
>the league will handle this all later lets just sign something
>Japanese people aren't human really, we don't need a racial equality law
>also fuck china
>and fuck germans
>wow that Czech lad was dressed pretty nice though, lets give him Sudetenland because fuck Germany, the league can iron out the details later.
>god i'm so fucking enlightened and i brought world peace after winning the war for the allies
>Trust me, the real counter to the machine gun is mounted cavalry.
>>2724202
Actually makes sense if the cavalry allows you to get there first.
If the machine gun gets there first, of course, that's a whole different matter.
>Lads, Lads gather round I finally know how to get independence
>While the Brits are at war
>We take the GPO and steal their letters
>And once we steal the letters we just stay in the their
>Oh also dont forget to take the biscuit factory
*teleports behind you*
>>2717660
Alternate thread music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iGEiY6wvDo
>>2722164
They could have joined the Central Powers and attacked Portugal.
>>2724376
its like if donald trump and congress asked /pol/ to be house speaker
>>2721456
>the last battle of isonzo is the most humiliating defeat of the italian war effort
did they not learn anything in the last 11 battles?
>>2712453
kek
>>2724560
And then get totally roflstomped by the French, English, and then Americans? I like it.
That does bring up all kinds of interesting alternate history scenarios though
>Just go there and wait for the end of the war
>end the war
>>2712956
run at it over and over again
>>2710808
>I can't wait to go to art school after we win the war
>>2710879
>>2721483
>*gunshots*
>>2727920
fuck
i was about to make this meme
>>2710837
Is there anyone who looks more macho than Der Conrad?
>>2710808
>There is no way Germany could lose a two front war against the entire world as long as we have such great allies and superior genetics
>Germany... what are you doing?
>Fucking jewish bankers
>>2728815
>ahem
>>2713885
well not quite, the gas and the tanks were both experimental but they worked too well so the opportunity wasn't seized.
>This civil war is boring, I'm going to go restore the Mongol empire and use it to beat the Soviets.
>>2729244
>you niggers talking shit?
>>2724180
>so every country has the right to self-determination
>I like the sound of this Armenia, I'm gonna make sure they get a good chunk
>and hey that Greek chap was really nice when I met him in France, I'm gonna tell him I'm in his corner
>ah fuck congress won't let me
>oh well, I'm sure those two will be fine
>Fuck you monkey, don't touch my dog
>>2729939
It was a good idea on paper.
>I will become a war hero and get all the glory for my brilliant moves against the Austrians
>Time to attack some mountains
>>2730673
>Huh, didn't work. Nevertheless, we have weakened their defences and can surely rout them for once and for all next time!
>>2726057
If Spain joined the Axis side, France would have to divert troops from their Eastern border, or just ignore Spain (which is more likely). England might come in to defend Portugal, but it would require focusing less on the war against Germany. Spain would need to mobilize quickly, hit Portugal hard, and then hope the Americans don't notice.
>>2731865
>or just ignore Spain
That would only lead to all of Occitania being occupied.
>>2731862
> Oh the Italians seem to have attacked my lines for the 5th time
> Surely it must be to keep us occupied while they attack elsewhere
> Damn those clever Italians!
>>2710837
>Don't worry Cadorna, we have the high ground
>>2721362
/fa/ as fuck
>>2721416
If you want a look at the war from outside of the usual Entente-centric perspective, I recommend "Ring of Steel" by Alexander Watson
>>2721483
>"This can't be happening, I'm in charge here!"
>>2731873
But if France diverted troops to defending Occitania, they would have less troops to mobilize against Germany. Spain joining the Central Powers would force France to fight on two fronts, and could take Portugal out of the war.
I don't know guys, the Anglos seem pretty trustworthy.
>>2710808
Yes, yes, well done Romania, ...HOWEVER
>>2732532
Heh, sure we'll give you all of Arabia, why would we want sand anyway?
>>2715092
it was a nice looking river tho
>>2715508
because the austro-hungarians were more of a liability than anything else
>>2721483
>you will never be alexei
>you will never have your tight yung boi pucci ravaged in front of your horrified mother, father and sisters
>you will never bleed to death as dozens of dirty commies line up to pound the young czar
why even live
"Do you ever look at someone and wonder, "what is going on inside their head?"
>>2710879
>>2710808
>>2723798
Can't rate this highly enough
>>2721416
The guns of august for how it started
>>2723798
Really good. I listened to the whole thing, but one thing bugged me a lot after a while:
Every time he reads a quote from somebody, his voice goes up an octave and to twice the volume, forcing you to adjust the volume on your own appliance up & down a lot.