You suddenly appear, exactly as you are right now, in the Roman

Also, your Latin is limited to whatever you currently know

>>2639082
I'm naked... so get thrown out?

>>2639082
Once someone figures out that you basically know nothing of the world at that time you're gonna be enslaved and get thrown into the arena/onto the latifundia/into the whorehouse depending on your physical characteristics.

Unless you know the Greek classics in which case you could be a tutor.

>>2639082
die

>>2639111
My grandmother was a professor of classical history, so I'm good.

I look like a Gael/proto-Viking though? And I'm naked.

>>2639082
Get enslaved because Germanic and/or be reviled/worshipped for the phone in my hands

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Cogito ergo sum quid pro quo veni vidi vici alea iacta est Deus ex machina ad hominem Alma mater primo victoria ave maria persona non grata pax Americana magnum opus in vitro habeas corpus et tu, Brute? Deus vult curriculum de facto carpe diem ultimatum dies irae tu quoque non sequitur Sic semper tyrannis. Et cetera

>>2639082
DEUS VULT

>>2639082
Jack off

I got a pretty nice shirt on right now, I suppose I could sell that to a noble for some dosh

>>2639082
I'll earn a living as an entertainer. I'll introduce Rap to the masses. I'll spit about the pleb lyfe in vulgar latin from the future. I'll use the term Futuristic ebonics.

kill myself

>check my phone
>still 59% battery life

I use my stock of photos to spread Kekism to the leaders of a noble Emprire

I'm literate and my mother tongue comes from Latin so I should be fine. Would take me a year and half to speak some decent Latin.

Also I could probably apply my knowledge from today into the past, perhaps say some philosophical bullshit and become one of the most famous philosophers of Rome.

>>2639286
Haha 97%

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>>2639082
>appear in the middle of Rome during the reign of one of its most boring Emperors wearing an anime t-shirt

I'll bide my time until Marcus Aurelius comes to power, then get close to Commodious, introduce him to the wonders of 2D and watch as he goes down in history as Rome's greatest Emperor for his staging of K-ON in Pompey's Theater.

>>2639082
Will I know roman Latin?

>>2639308
Apparently no, unless you do now.

>>2639082
Use my knowledge of the future to make profitable gambles at the hippodrome.

Shitpost in that forum as hard as I can.

>>2639163
Okay I'll admit, that's kind of clever.

>>2639082
>the first people who'll be able to somewhat understand me are 600 years away from getting their asses to the immediate vicinity

Run, offer some of my shit for a tunic, try to learn latin. Get a nice job because I know how to read and write, get qt gf, die.

>>2639082
boipussi

>not a Roman citizen
>can't speak the language
>look like a gaul
>no one knows me

Try not to get enslaved on my way to find Valentinus. Hope that I can convince him that I am a spiritual person and not material.

Spend the rest of my life receiving the gnosis that allows me to return to the divine pleroma.

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>>2639082
> Realistically, what do you do?

As I don’t speak Latin, (or any ancient language) my only hope would be finding some Hebrews and showing them my circumcised cock, ('Murrican here) in the hope they’d take me in as some kinda long lost crazy Jew.

Have an orgy?

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*inhales deeply*
TRUE
*starts sweating profusely*

>>2639304
haha i dont have a phone

>be an electrical engineer
>know Greek

There are worst combos I guess

>naked albanian looking guy in his underwear with sweaty as fuck balls

Freak out and get killed probably.

I know some modern Italian, would that help me at all?

Probably go to the nearest homosexual orgy and offer myself up as a bottom for endless use.

assume whatever rank an orange (i would have to be rich to have orange right) shirt gets you and plow my way through as much 13 years old puss as possible

>>2639082
>I'm in a bathrobe and pajama pants.
>I use glasses
>I've got myopia and astigmatism
>yes both
>I already need to get new glasses

Well I'm fucked.

>>2639082
Ask for the directions to a crypt to find my fellow Christians and ask them how big Jesus' wang really was and if I can chew on his foreskin

>>2639254
>Gay niqqas from outer space

>>2639082
first off im not a manlet in ancient rome cos 5'9 is like 3 inches above average

next, i know physics but everything i know will get me killed. everyone else is buff as fuck and i have no survival skills

the only thing i could feasibly do is revolutionize mathematics but that's a long shot trying to avoid getting speared to death while i point at things and write "1 2 3 4 5" down while screaming

>>2640040
as long as you know the roman numerals to equate the number scribbles to you'll be fine.

>>2640051
>>2640040
of course eventually you'll teach it to someone that actually matters and they will just take the credit.

because who the fuck are you? crazy numbers guy?

>>2640060
>>2640051
whatever keeps me alive t b h f a m
if i ever end up learning their language i'll just write a book of shit that will seem vapid to everyone but get hailed as genius a thousand years later about the structure of the atom or something and how charge works with glass/silk rubbing and so on
would i be more or less vulnerable to diseases? i mean my ancestors survived the black plague and shit right?

>>2640104
>get hailed as genius a thousand years later
Make sure you print it on something that lasts. Very few ancient texts remain.

>invent paper from linen rags
>become rich
>use money to become famous
>invent better number system
>stick it to this guy >>2640040

I'd probably run. I mean I can't speak thier language and the Romans weren't fond of pants so I'd probably look and sound like a freak of nature

>>2639082
I get a lot of weird looks because I would be like the only white person there.

>>2640123
Romans in Rome didn't make a habit of randomly killing every foreigner they ran into even if they were wearing pants.

I mean if every foreign merchant that entered Italia got his ass stabbed no one would fucking bother bringing nice things to Rome now would they?

>>2639291
this

>>2639163
They'll mistake you for a retard anon.

>>2639291
>one of the most famous philosophers of Rome
Pretty sure you'd be the first

>>2640113
anywhere i can get more info about this?
google screwing with me right now

>>2640158
>anywhere i can get more info about this?
Just check out plutarch. Nigga wrote like 40 books and we have 12 or some other stupid number

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>>2639082
>tfw born 2 late to graffiti pompeii
>tfw born 2 early to travel the seas
might as well just kill myself

150AD is like the 2000's of Ancient Rome

>193 cm
>Blonde
>Blue eyed
>Currently bare-footed.

Probably gonna be enslaved as a Germanic barbar.

>>2639082
ancient cocks were probably much smaller

first thing i'd do is hit up a brothel and make a name for myself

Travel to Sparta, start the Spartan clan before it's glory years

>>2639082

I have no language skills. Nor any trainable items on me. At best I'd manage to get a gruesome slavelike job until I learn the language. After that, provided I am still alive, I might be able to produce some amusing trinket for some cash. Eventually, if I play my cards right, I might be able to create some black powder. From there on, it's all based on luck.

>>2639111
Ya'd think the fact that you suddenly appeared out of nowhere speaking in tongues might have some affect on the possibilities.

>>2640290
These are the people you share the board with

Show them my phone, that'd be a hoot

Find all the other anons in this thread who were also transported, work together until we can speak Latin, then pool our knowledge to become the world's greatest engineers, doctors, and mathematicians.

>>2640380
Haha i like thos plan.

I'm 6'3 so i would be towering over them

sweat profusely and try to mumble something using my 4 years of half-assed classical high school.
I wouldn't be able to help the Romans much outside of informing them about basic geology and even then they'd probably not listen to me.

>play it off
>walk out of the senate
>walk out of rome
>walk out of italy
>walk out of mainland europe
>walk out of england
>walk out of ireland
>walk out of newfoundland
>walk out of florida
>walk out of cuba
>walk out of south america
>walk out of the spice islands
>walk into australia
>shitpost about romans with aboriginal wall paint

>>2639163
>Look Gaius, that weirdo is talking jibberish!
>primo victoria
Fucking Sabaton, it's PRIMA not primo!
>Americana
wut
>Deus vult
Don't you mean Dei, stranger?

>>2640393
Well I mean the alternative is the same as everyone else.
>Don't speak ancient Latin
>Look Germanic
>Get arrested because you're probably breaking a thousand different laws you aren't aware of
>Die in a gladiatorial match or by execution

>>2640380
This is probably the best plan ITT. People from industrial societies are way more codependent than the Romans. I highly doubt you'd get the full spectrum of activities of /his/ but it's better than nothing.

Get together with the /hisNEETs/ that were also transported there, form a legion and march on Rome.

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>>2640491
>yfw you try to impress them into worshiping you like a fire god or something by showing off your lighter, but that shit isn't like in the movies and the greatest crime in Roman law is arson, so you get burned alive for setting a small fire with your fire gadget

>>2639082
go to the closest aquaduct and sneeze into it. start the 1st great plauge.

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Tell them about America and explain why Rome should conquer it.

>>2640451
>becoming the first australian shitposter

Jump off an aqueduct because I can't speak Latin but before I do, show them the vast library of reaction images on my phone.

>>2640380
This, anon you're a genius.

>>2640350

>speaking in tongues

You say tongues, they hear a naked man babbling 'barbarbarbar'.

Die but before that, ensure I've loss hidden somewhere

I'll fling shit, discuss sea peoples and see what relatively modern inventions I can engineer up.

Probably get spooked, run away to some woods and go live in feral Europe as a crazy dude in the forests.

Im a relatively big guy for the time. Id probably be enslaved and made into a gladiator if I am lucky. Maybe invent actual weight sets and teach people how to get fucking jacked to the tits for the emperor?

>get hired by gladiator school
>make them all ripped af
>get all the slave pussy I can dream of
>feelsgoodman.jpg

I'll become the best bathouse man, even the emperor will comission my construcions.

i wuz a roman so i wouldnt have any problem to fit in the roman society

I'm tall, fit and attractive so I figure I'll be drafted into some rich man's household as a pleasure slave for his cutie daughters.

If not that then I would probably die of sepsis while wandering around asking passerbys "romani? romani?"

>>2639082
Be a doctor and a scientists slave

>>2640652
>letting your daughters being sluts before they marry Crassus

>>2639082
>Have a gun currently on me
Sneak into some Noble's house, shoot his dog, force him to teach me Latin.
Go to imperial palace, start popping caps in guards, claim Mars sent me and demand to speak to the emperor.
Make him create new laws that prevent the empire to converting to any other religion and being divided into multiple emperors. Otherwise the empire will suffer the weather of the gods.
Roman empire is still here today, you're welcome

Also, give the emperor my gun and teach him how it works in exchange for basic necessities for the rest of my life.

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>>2639082
>he's a magistrate in a backwater province

>>2639082

invent the crossbow

>>2640738
if roman empire would reform today it would be the largest islamic state in the world

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>>2639082

shitpost on behalf of the senate and leak marcus aurelius' meditations even though most of them havent been written yet

>>2640763
Eh, better leave Britain out then

Travel to Delphi, be oracle

I would die from my type-1 diabetes

>>2640380
This, but instead, we shitpost grafittis on walls all over Rome for anons to discover 2000+ years later

>Caligula did nothing wrong

>There is literally nothing wring with being jewish

>Great fire of Rome was an inside job

You could also try to find an educated man and show him some basic mathematical theorems and axioms, to show that you're not a complete retard, and just unable to communicate with the common tongue

I'd also try to eventually explain three-field system for agriculture (which would upstage their two-field system), and could yield much more food, which could get you the attention of governors.

Also, I would probably get murdered on sight, as I am wearing Crocs.

Phone at 100% with Roman/English dictionary on it. Awesome. Call for paper and ink as fast as I can to write down as many necessary words as I can for my vocabulary. Draw a map of the world, locate Rome, Carthage, Egypt, Syria, Britain as well as China, Japan, N and S America and indicate I'm from N America. Tell them about medicine and flatter them for their political power.
Eventually? Just become a baker or something I guess and collect as much lost history as I can and store it in a secure place for posterity.

> play music on phone to show magic powers

> show the script I wrote using Google translate to a rich senator

> It says he just needs to take me into his home and teach me Latin and treat me well and I'll teach him how to make magic phone devices like mine

>Spend rest of life as Rich household guest, teaching them to boil water and double entry bookkeeping.

> No job so can drink all day
>Opium legal
> No age of consent so loli slave girls

Sounds good

I'll just become a vagrant living in the streets, shouting insanities in my native language nobody understands while slowly dying from diabetes.

Be really tall.

>>2639082
Wait, I'm in my truck.
Do I get to bring the truck with me?

TRUCKMANIA: Crashing Shield Walls Edition

>>2642516
>teaching them to boil water
Already did that and collect/drink rainwater, they didn't know why it worked but they knew that it worked.
>and double entry bookkeeping
They'll appreciate that but you do realize that from their pov you're essentially asking to be a slave, right?
>No job so can drink all day
pfft, no.

>>2642516
as soon as they realize you can't actually make a new smartphone for them they're going to beat you and then enslave you.

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>>2639082
>be me
>speak a Franco-germanic language, no Latin outside of a few phrases
>have Spanish ancestry, ergo look Spanish
>Catholic
>Jeans and t-shirt would look ludicrous by Roman standards

Nigga, I'd be lion food.

>>2640380
This but where do you cunts want to go/what do you want to do?


I suggest we turn to menial labor to provide us with capital and then turn to banditry so we can find a remote corner of the empire to set up shop and proceed with wrecking everyones shit with whatever tech we can produce.


I like Crimea or Britain.

Gotta start somewhere right?

>>2642622
they didn't feed people to lions just for looking stupid

you had to actually do something bad or insulting

>>2642631
Do I need to repeat that I'm a Catholic?

Same as here. Shitpost all over the forum.

Why are there so many naked people in this thread?

>>2640290
Anon no

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>assuming people don't see me appear try to slip away
>head to nearest library
>write everything I know in English, and then show the advanced mathematics (including numerical translations) to a scholar
>he's so stunned he lets this strange man stay in his house
>write in a frenzy every joke, every scientific or economic fact, poem, invention, weapon design etc I can remember in English.
>this scholar would naturally want to translate all of this into Latin, so he would probably assemble the great men of learning from across Rome to help him translate this monumental body of knowledge
>they'd do all the hard work, I wouldn't need to learn Latin
>eventually a small cult would form around me so I would live in fame and luxury
>invent copyright law, royalties, and the printing press
>publish my work and rake in a fortune
>invent western musical notation, an array of musical instruments and then compose the greats of Western Music
>travel around the Empire treated as some kind of demi-God
>fuck cute painted femboys erryday
>invent anime/memes
>die after a long life
>appear in this thread >>2637420

>>2642637
You can be whatever the fuck you want as long as you're not a retard about it. it's not like you have a glowing cross on your forehead dumbass.

>>2642622
>>2642637
Take note this:
>>2642655
>eventually a small cult would form around me
Is a guy that's looking to get stabbed.

>>2642624
Lets go to Hibernia

>>2642624
Nah we get rich by opening up a restaurant and introducing cuisines they never had before. Maybe fondue or some shit.

>>2639082

I'm actually not wearing any clothes atm because I just came from the shower and cooling off a bit. Thus, first I need to walk at the nearest properly sized guy around and ask him for his clothes.

>>2642705
>and introducing cuisines
Nigga these aren't the rich and powerful here, you're essentially trying to feed fillet mignon and scallops to people that have lived their lives eating cheese fries and burgers.

Yeah, they'll like it, but they will hardly appreciate it and they won't pay more for it.

>>2642746
>>2642705

Also remember there was essentially no middle class worth noting and how the fuck are you paying for the locale, the pots and pans, the wood for burning and the ingredients?

>>2642705
>>2642624
No fuck that, lets make a bank.

>>2642762
Hey not a bad idea. We already have a monopoly on the maths game and the bigger guys can be security. We can start issuing paper money and use that to make up initial capital.

>>2642735
Now that i think of it, why was the Terminator naked when they sent him to the past? They had the technology to make him, send him, but not to give him clothes and a fucking gun? Can't clothes travel through time?

>>2642782
because the machine could only send back organic matter, its why it had to send a terminator since they are coated in organic skin and is also why it didn't just send an H-bomb or something.

>>2642801
why didn't they coat am H-bomb in organic matter? or made the Terminator's asshole very dilated so it could fit a gun inside it?

>>2642844
>why didn't they coat am H-bomb in organic matter?
That's called a plot hole anon, good job you got it, be glad you're not a retard.

>>2642746
>>2642754
>le everyone was poor meme
stop

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>>2642853

>>2639800

ROMAN

>>2639082

Well, if I had a knowledge of latin, I'd use it so I can infiltrate the roman republic's ranks and out maneuver Julius Caesar, preventing him from destroying the republic.

>>2642774
>>2642762
Bank idea is not bad

We'd need to get some capital first though... where could we get it?

By selling any jewelry the anons in the group are wearing?
W

Also, where would we establish the bank? We'd need land to build it, maybe some of us could try to join a legion for 20 years to earn some place to start the bank?

Finally, what should we name it?

>I say that doubles chooses our Roman Bank name

>>2639082
>look like average Roman (Blue eyes blonde hair)
>know Plato and Aristotle
>speak decent Latin
>moderately in shape
>teach and join legion

wait and see how quickly i can infect people with modern diseases and viruses that didnt exist at the time

Fall on my ass

>>2643183
Are you a citizen, well versed, literate, virile, gallic looking fella?

>>2639082
I wish that I had been sent back to Republican times, the only worthwhile period in Roman history, then gut myself with a pugio.

>>2640380
i'd watch a movie or show of this.

>>2643326
>Comedy flick, with a good budget, around a bunch of nerds setting up lives in ancient Rome.
Why is this not a thing?

>>2640380
>>2643326
>>2643335
Let's put the autists of /tv/ on this and we should have a movie/kino in about a year

Why the fuck are so many people naked and browsing /his/ right now?

>>2642648
>>2643362
>he doesn't shower while browsing 4chan using a tablet in a ziplock bag
Plebs.

Probably be a basic math teacher teaching the poor as fuck farm boys and girls how to do basic algebra and geometry

Work for food and room and maybe a good fucking with the students

>>2640520
underrated

>>2640520
Jerk off into the fucking thing, be the first Jizzus

>>2643122
Phallus Maximus Incorpratio

>>2639082
Invest in bitcoin.

>>2642624
Step one, we pawn all our jewellery (always valuable for the metals alone), wristwatches (going to stay functional for several years) and future clothes to buy food and a place to live. Then it's brainstorming. We need to work out how to learn latin (some anons might speak some if we're lucky), and then we need to figure out what we can actually make and do. Do any of us know complex mathematics that haven't been actually invented yet? What about metal working methods? Does anybody remember how to make gunpowder? If we can make gunpowder and know metalworking, do we know enough about wadding and shit to make muskets? How detailed is our personal knowledge of this time period? Can we hitch ourselves to up-and-coming social and political figures?

If we're lucky and we're light on NEETfags and have enough usable future knowledge we should be able to set up some kind of emporium. Maybe not in Rome itself at first, but hopefully somewhere in Italy.

>>2639082

Probably die from cholera

>>2639082
Try to find some sort of brass or string instrument and try to find a living as a street performer, im also a pretty good artist but honestly i don't know where I would find graphite pencils and paper.

>>2643547
Mang, you are more knowledgeable than EVERYBODY in medicine, technology, physics, etc. and what you aspire to is being a street artist at a cobble stone corner?
Go explain to someone what gravity or pathogens are, or even gravity! Draw for them America and Asia and Australia and sub-Saharan Africa. Show them electricity with a potato!

Get enslaved
If for some reason i don't i gather every piece of history i can find, review ot every day, teach my children the importance of history and get them to copy down each and every thing i have and collect everything they can
Also start building up a resturant until i become histories first food chain
As my influence spreads i start employing eunichs and slaves to collect every piece of knowledge they can find, start to build up a knowledge cult until the size of it rivals the roman pantheon and thats when i start to spread the word of my cult and start building secret libraries so that when the roman empire falls my cult takes over
But at that point i would have probably been stabbed

>>2643587
It was a typo, but explain gravity a third time!

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>>2643504
Gunpowder's pretty easy to make. Just sulphur, charcoal and potasium nitrate in varying quantities.

The first two can be readily acquired, and if the last proves to be a bit difficult, there's always pic related.

>>2639082
>Pajama pants and a t-shirt
>No shoes
I suppose I'd start dredging up all that Latin I took. I can tell people that I'll rape them in the ass and in the throat but to be honest that's pretty much all I remember. Oh, and I can do thank yous and all that. Gratias tibi/vobis ago.

Let's see, what's happening in 150AD? We're in the reign of Antoninus Pius, so at least we've got one of the Five Good Emperors. If I recall correctly there were no major military engagements or anything of that sort under his reign. He built a big wall I think in Scotland but it would have been falling into disrepair/being abandoned at this point. There's going to be an earthquake in Cyzicus in two years time, which will destroy a temple dedicated to Hadrian, so maybe I can swing it as a prophet of some sort.

>>2643632
Well in that case we can make a secret laboratory where we produce and sell gunpowder and create a monopoly while we try and work out how to make guns.

>>2639082
Well, how would the Romans there react to me? Would they think me a spirit?
I guess I'd try to get by while learning Latin, then become an inventor and philosopher.

>>2643587
>>2643595
All that stuff is too complicated given the language barrier and the lack of paper (potentially? was paper extant? common? expensive?). I'd also lack any sort of credibility and authority. How am I supposed to prove that the "universal gravitation constant" is 6.67x10^-11 N*m^2/s^2 if I can't prove it experimentally, let alone write it in Roman numerals?

>>2642575
>yfw roman calvary are just a group of truckers

>>2643504
>tfw completely useless highschool dropout NEET
I'm sorry for holding us down, /his/.

Can I bring my copy of the History and Fall of the Roman Empire by Gibbon?

>>2643683
You are right, I am drunk. Just draw a ball that's earth and tell them that the magic called mass, inherent to shit, attracts other shit, and that's why their puny 60kg bodies kiss the dirt when they are drunk and stumble about.

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They would probably think I was a barbarian and try to enslave or kill me. Mainly because I'm wearing just trousers and no t-shirt and that's how some Celts dressed.

Tell that that killing Caesar would be a huge fucking mistake.

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>>2643377
STOP WASTING WATER!

>>2639089

Finally put my fluent Classical Latin to good use. Eat some puls, bang some prostitutes, then take over the Empire with my superior scientific and technical knowledge desu.

>>2639111

>thrown into the whorehouse

Kinky. Also I like how the enslaved prostitutes in Plautus' plays are having a jolly good time.

Show up in pajama pants and a hoodie knowing none of the language. I'm trans and am fairly attractive, so I guess I would be a sex slave.

Although that would let me live longer and hopefully be able to do what >>2642008
>>2642008 suggested, and become a high class escort or slave of some sort because of how exotic I am.

>>2640738

>shoot his dog

Atf pls go

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the anons would drop dead within a week due to diseases

not only that when the anons went back in time they brought germs back to rome which no one is resistant too

mass plague , no one even knows there were time travelers just that fact there was a massive plague at that date

>>2643504
Guns are fairly simple. We can use magnesium caps, skipping the entire flint/match/wheel-lock era, and just use thick bronze for the barrels. Brass has been around since prehistory, so cased ammunition is easy enough. After that, just having enough patience to slowly assemble repeaters should be enough, as we'd have to file and cast all of the components by hand, and do some experimentation to develop them without steel and aluminum.

>>2643776
>150AD
You're either painfully retarded or didn't read the OP.

>>2640599
T H E R M A E R O M A E

I would explain to the romans what white privilege was

If I could overcome the language barrier, and if I could get a posting as a household slave/freedman, I could maybe keep the first set of double entry books, which would probably be lost to the mists of time. I'd more likely die as a beggar in the street if I didn't get mugged/stabbed first.

>>2643362
Why do you think they call it shitposting? Do you actually keep pants on when you shit?

>>2640536
Conquer what? Conifer trees?

>>2639082
try to convey the fact that I can't speak Latin and they should teach me it. than I can start teaching them how to make gunpowder and steam power. Afterwards I would tell Marcus Aurelius not to make his idiot son the emperor.

Either die from all the diseases I've never been exposed to or proceed to kill everyone else.

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>>2643183
>look like average Roman (Blue eyes blonde hair)

WIR

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>>2643504
>>2644004
Roman metallurgy wasn't nearly sophisticated enough for firearms. You might be able to fashion a crude bombard but that sucker would probably be massively too heavy to be practical for widespread adoption. The Romans would probably find more use for gunpowder as explosives the way we use dynamite

>>2639082
I'm still in my work clothes so the first thing that they would notice about me is how nice and soft my pressed, button down cotton collared shirt is, the sophistication of the embroidery in my company logo, and they'd be fucking astounded by my denim jeans, leather boots, and company ball-cap.

I don't have a gun on me but what I do have are my tools. I imagine that I could make myself a very wealthy man auctioning off my tape measurer, even if they don't understand the numbers they could pretty quickly figure out that it's the handiest measuring tool that they'd ever lay eyes upon.

My laser measurer would be a heck of a lot more interesting. Of course It would only last as long as the AAA batteries do but man, it would be fun as hell to see what kind of pandemonium I could kick up by hiding and shining a laser at people or moving it around on the wall and fucking with people when they try to grab it or start worshiping it.

I'd take my screwdrivers and file them down into nasty points. They'd be the finest quality shanks in the empire.

Overcoming the language barrier quickly enough to avoid starving would probably be my greatest challenge as I do not understand a lick of Latin. Hopefully with my cleaned up and presentable appearance, I could probably smooth talk them into thinking that I was an emissary of the gods or something and my native tongue is the language of heaven.

Once I've established myself, turn myself into a legend by inventing the sandwich and starting a franchise of sandwich shops. Teach them germ theory, prove it by pasteurizing milk and washing my hands with soap. They'd deify me for teaching them how to stop epidemics.

>>2644098
gold and silver in mexico

>>2639163
the etc killed me

Work for a short time as a cute exotic sex slave at some dirty brothel/tavern before getting beaten to death by my pimp/or customer.

>>2642624
>let's go where the cold can get extremely harsh

no thanks.

i downloaded a crazy google dictionary into my phone with most alphabet languages, i have a day before I cant communicate with anyone anymore

>>2639082

>Go to forum
>"Salve, Quirites, habeo hic amictum perquam durabilem et commodum. Quis vestrum vult haec Diis Caesarive digna venalicia emere?"
>Make thousands of sesterces, buy slaves, use them to manufacture modern weapons, take over the Empire, then chill before getting assassinated by uppity Praetorian guards.

>>2644554

Salvete*

>>2639089
Arma Vircumque Cano, Troiae qui primus ab orbis Italiam fato profuguus Lavianque venit-

Oh... that's useless. I'm useless. That's all I knew.

>>2643997
This.

After they detain you for being a weirdo and interrupting them, eventually a few will get sick, and they will blame you. Good luck getting out of that one.

>>2643205
wouldn't you get their diseases too? i doubt u still resistant to 2000 year old diseases

ur just gunna end up killing everyone

>>2643382
>basic math teacher teaching the poor as fuck farm boys and girls a revolutionized version of mathematics that doesn't exist in this way yet

dawg u are more valuable than u think. that roman numeral shit was egregious even idiots in todays society could potentially start kickstart a large jump in progress

>>2643504
could easily write a big fact book on basic mathematics, calc, differential eqs, chemistry, evolution, astronomy quickly while everyone else does the hard work

i'd probably spend all my time inventing DIY condoms or only have sex with virgins

life is too short in ancient rome t b h

>>2644098
GOLD GOLD GOLD IN CALIFORNIA TONS OF GOLD

>>2639727
this guy gets it

>>2644440
>Teach them germ theory, prove it by pasteurizing milk and washing my hands with soap.
how do you do this?

>>2639089
>>2639082
Realistically, almost no one is going to have a good day. Most of us would be swiftly murdered within minutes.

>>2644856
the hell would anyone ever visit rome to trade if people just murdered every weird looking person that went there?

>>2644440
Germ theory would be hard. You'd have to disguise it as something mystical or you'd be looked at like a lunatic.

Introducing simple, modern medical practices would be pretty easy. Plus penicillin would be a godsend to them. I'm a biochemist so I know enough chemistry to help with some stuff.

I vote we curry favor with the current emperor (pray to God it's not Commodus) and try to open a university. The educational system in Rome was pretty garbage, but we could easily teach a new generation of people the wonders of modern science.

Did ancient Rome have distilleries? We could make a literal mountain of gold distilling all the different types of hard liquor if they didn't.

Also we should all try to fuck as many Russian whores as possible because why not.

>fat guy in his underwear and socks
>no real knowledge of Latin
>can't fight with fists or blade
I am so unbelievably boned.

Unless I can pass myself off as some rich mute guy.

>>2643026
>150 AD
>roman republic

>>2643960
You sound cute, wanna time travel together?

>>2644862
If a dude pops out of literally nothing right in the middle of a busy forum, people are gonna think you're trouble. Especially if you're unintelligible and wearing foreigner clothing.

>>2644940
Not him but
>implying the senate no longer existed
But he is retarded for saying JULIUS caesar

>>2644841
>Make metal bucket
>Put milk in
>Boil it

>Get some jews from the last revolt
>Get horse
>Mix them in a broth
>Put mixtures into cake holders and leave to cool

>>2642801
Why didnt they just send a 500MT H-bomb, wrapped in a kabab?

>>2642655
>implying they can translate English

>>2645019
is jew horse soup kosher?

>>2645078
No it's how the necroplliac Nazi made his soap

>>2642622
>Franco-germanic
French isn't Germanic fuck off

>>2639082
Die of a disease uncommon to our era or cause a plague.
One of the two.

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>>2644841
Pasteurizing milk is simply a matter of bringing the temperature of milk to just below the point of boiling, killing the bacteria without letting the milk separate. And Romans made soap out of urine. In fact they would collect it in buckets and sell it. It would just be a matter of teaching them to wash their hands with it. I know it sounds gross but washing your hands is the single most effective thing you can do to prevent disease transmission.

>>2644893
>Germ theory would be hard.
not really, you describe it as such,
>We can see creatures of all sizes, from those of monstrous bulk, like an elephant, to creatures which are so tiny as to be barely perceivable, such as fleas. We could then imagine creatures so large as to dwarf an elephant, like a Kraken, and creatures so tiny as to be invisible to our senses, which we shall call germs. And as surely as fleas can cling innocuously to our person without notice, so too might these indescribably tiny creatures be all around us, upon every surface, on the surface of our skin and inside our bodies, and we would have no way of knowing except to perceive the effects of their occupation, which may not be for entirely benign purposes.

It would then be a matter of replicating the physician John Snow's experiment: Rome was glorious but it was also a massive shithole, full of squalor and urban blight, and the simple act of blocking off a well to stop a cholera outbreak would be enough for them as it was for 19th century London.

And we'd better fucking be snappy about it because 15 years after arrival, the Antonine plague will swoop in as a zombie-apocalypse scale disaster and completely devastate the city. Not even the emperor was safe, claiming the life of Marcus Aurelius's co-emperor, Lucius Verus. If you could stop a calamity of that scale, perhaps by utilizing cow pox but more likely with centralized quarantining, Marcus Aurelius would make you his new co-emperor. Enjoy your rape palace.

>Probably go to the nearest homosexual orgy and offer myself up as a bottom for endless use.

Yep. That'd be me.

Die from strains of diseases I'm not immune to, and or cause many people to die with my strains.

>light skin that tans easily
>brow hair
>brow eyes
I'd fit right in.
They wil consider me a god.
I ill teach these nigger how to use energy
I WILL BE A GOD

>>2645215

This is the only answer.

I'm not wearing pants or underwear so I would fit right in with my toga wearing brethren, just gotta pull down my shirt

>>2645215
>a careless time traveler caused the Black Plague

At last I truly see.

>>2645190
>soap out of urine
how

i can't find a guide or any further info

>>2639082
I am fucked. I look Persian, dont have any knowledge of latin and the three languages I speak are not in anyway similar to the languages that were spoken back in those times.

>>2642008
>Roman/English dictionary
>Roman
You mean Latin?

>>2640135
Does this mean that Romans were globalist multiculti cucks?

>>2645887
Yes. Thank god they're dead now, the stupid nigger Jew kike cucks deserved to bebwiped from collective memory.

>get ostracized because I'm a giant blond barbarian
>head north and gain patronage of important king
>invent printing press, calculus, cannon, railcart, assembly line
>viking longboats with cannons start taking over the world
>king puts the resources of his entire empire at my disposal
>15 years later I've invented wireless telegraph, precision milling, aluminum, lightbulb

Im fairly certain you would become incredibly sick from being exposed to unfamiliar bacteria and viruses from that time. Unless you could convince an of era doctor of how to treat it you'd probably succumb to poor medical treatment. You also risk the populace around you becoming sick from whatever bacteria or diseases you're carrying when you appear. Also if you managed to somehow use your advanced knowledge to rise in power you'd probably be killed off by some other high ranking government official. No one actually gives a shit about what knowledge you possess or how great you could improve their empire via technology, social understanding, or anything else. If some guy thinks you stole his position of power or they think they risk losing their current position of power without hesitation they'll probably have you assassinated.

Overall I wouldnt like to go back in time.

>>2646105
>>get ostracized because I'm a giant blond barbarian
more like fetishized. they loved blonde hair and often dyed their own hair blonde.

>>2639082
Start running for the fucking hills and ditch my clothes, find a cave or something I can live in

Get mistaken for a pants wearing celt.

Ask for tendies

>>2645055
Lot of scientific terminology comes from latin and you can bastardize it even more by using predominantly latin based words.

I speak french, which is a latin language, maybe they'd think I speak some bastardized dialect from the frontier?

>>2642516

See, people think a job like accounting would be useless, but my few grad level courses in macro, knowledge of currency, double entry bookkeeping, and municipal finance and bond creation would actually be pretty revolutionary and useful to the Romans.

> Moves on to creating complex derivatives and mortgage backed securities

> Rome collapses 400 years earlier due to a time traveling Jewish accountant

We truly are the most powerful race

>>2646313
Unless your french sounds heavily Italian, not really aside from a word here or there.

>>2642516
>show the script I wrote using Google translate to a rich senator
>google translate with latin
wew

>>2643324
>republic the only worthwile period
>not tetrarchy

wew

Try to get into construction because building roads around the Mediterranean would be comfy than organizing shit in Michigan

>>2639082
i think i could convince them i was from the future. but they'll probably think i was crazy for the first hour or so

Politely inform them that Italians aren't white.

>>2646105
>thinking you'll actually invent any of that
even just making gunpowder is an annoying process that you probably wouldn't be able to do

>>2647547
politely inform them that italians are 10% sub-Saharan African

>>2647550
Printing press and stream engines aren't that hard to understand

>>2643504
We already have a pretty powerful advantage. We are oracles, we can tell them the future.

loli slave girls all day

>>2644972
its rome you dingus, not 50s america

>>2640247
Why do you think this is the case?

>>2640290
Why do I visit this board?

>>2640536
Why is that legionary wearing a beard? Who does he think he is a Greek?

>>2639082
Give them a geography lesson. Once they knew the general layout of the world and the general locations of other empires and civilizations they would be able to do a lot of shit.

Of course i would have to learn the language. It will take me some time. But then i can start teaching them.

I know they had basic ideas about hydraulic systems and some stuff. But i can do better.

Explosives. Medicine. Primitive Guns. All my geographic knowledge. Shipbuilding. metallurgy. it might take my whole life to plant the seed of knowledge.

And then, many years later, when my Grandchildren join the Legion, they will have the right tools to conquer the World.

I would pretend to be a Scythian warrior and start teaching BJJ as an exotic martial art to naive wealthy romans.

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>>2645364
>how
Let's go straight to the primaries to find out: this is from Pliny the Elders' The Natural History, Book 28. Chapter 51
>Soap,1 too, is very useful for this purpose, an invention of the Gauls for giving a reddish2 tint to the hair. This substance is prepared from tallow and ashes, the best ashes for the purpose being those of the beech and yoke-elm: there are two kinds of it, the hard soap and the liquid, both of them much used by the people of Germany, the men, in particular, more than the women.
>http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.02.0137%3Abook%3D28%3Achapter%3D51

In theory, making soap is a relatively simple process: take the animal fat from the bottom of a cooking pan (or steal fat from cadavers and/or use bile as a substitute) and mix it with the wood ash created from the fire below. Boil and cool repeatedly until it turns hard.

Romans, however, didn't use it to wash their bodies, they erroneously used soap as an ointment for skin diseases (as you saw if you clicked on the link and read more of what Pliny had to say about soap) and to wash their clothing. They found that by mixing soap with urine would result in cleaner clothes, so soap factories (such as the one discovered among the ruins of Pompeii) and laundry mats (called fullonica) would leave a huge communal pot on the street corner for people to piss in, and they'd leave it sitting for weeks until the urine decomposed into ammonia, a very useful cleaning agent, especially when you're trying to get stains out of a heavy wool toga which has been bleached white, which some swarthy Italian had been wearing out in the hot Mediterranean sun and and had probably been sweating his balls off in it.

>>2645162
nigga he's talking about Dutch/Flemish or Luxembourgish

What if 20 anons from /k/ went back to Rome with all their gear?

Would they be able to take over a province?

>>2643183
>look like average Roman (Blue eyes blonde hair)

Fuck off snownigger.

>>2639082
if i wasn't murdered or jailed i would most likely starve to death on the streets.

>>2639082
Pull my pants up and dry the lube off my hands.

>>2640518
Kawaii desu ne

>>2647711
Steam engines are useless to a slave based physiocratic economy

printing presses are pointless when almost no one can read

>>2644972
>oh another mage having a nightmare
>carry along citizens

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Pretend I'm a God and use my superior knowledge of agriculture and biology to further the greatness of Roma

>actually a biologist and farmer since I was born
>I suppose I could use my modern knowledge on other stuff to work something out

>>2644940

Still the Principate tho

>>2645807
Yes, yes I do. I was drunk when writing that.

>>2639082
Explain why the rocket equation means getting things into orbit is difficult

>took three years of Latin
>took extensive classes in Roman history

I'd be hailed as a psychic as I predicted things before they happened with my advanced knowledge of history.

>>2643916
kys mang

>>2639089
Carthago delenda est

how'd i do

>>2652097
then probably killed after a random nobleman wants you to predict shit like the success of his farms or some shit and kill you for having it wrong

>>2644540
Then where faggot? Some place full of people and authority figures to notice all the weird shit we're doing? It's cold, great, we make a Franklin stove, problem solved.

>inb4 idk how cold it is

Cannuck here

>>2644789
>inventing DIY condoms
Dohoho, good luck with that one without petrochemicals.

Leather condons dont prevent diseases.

>>2644098
>Conquer what?
Mesoamerica, they had gold back then right?

>>2640013
kill yourself

>>2644440
>Roman metallurgy wasn't nearly sophisticated enough for firearms.
Wtf do you memers mean by this? I hear it a lot what exactly do you believe they are missing that we can't figure out?

>>2649993
>Steam engines are useless to a slave based physiocratic economy
Lets free the slaves and give them guns

>>2649993
>printing presses are pointless when almost no one can read
I thought the empire had a relatively high literacy rate.

Still the rich will love it for those private libraries they like to keep.

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>bring knowledge of gunpowder to the Princep's doorstep, give them designs to build rudimentary muskets, act all mystical and shit so they think I'm some super tall god or something (6'2)
>become the emperor's right hand sorcerer type guy
>drill little napoleonic musket formations, get them working on cannons
>proceed to conquer all the way to Japan and start the endless roman world order utopia

>>2649993
>printing presses are pointless when almost no one can read
literacy rose because of the printing press, not the other way around

once books are cheaper, learning to read will make more sense to the poorer

>>2639082
Tell them to launch an expedition to genocide the fuck out of the people on the arabian peninsula, don't let the gothic refugees into rome

>>2652955
Why would they listen to you?

>>2652967
because i'm not a manlet unlike them

>>2652777
>>2652801
Actually yeah you're right, I was wrong. Although you might not see the benefits of a printing revolution until after your death since a new generation would have to be brought up literate.

>>2652774
That would probably fuck the empire over and make it collapse early, kek
Might make a nice hollywood "we wuz free n shit" movie though I guess

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>>2640380
>>2643326
>>2643341
I love this thread.

>>2640520
Lol

>>2643473
I laughed

>>2653023
Didn't help the gauls

>oriental
>don't speak a lick of latin
>wearing weird modern clothes
>suddenly appearing in the middle of a busy town
>no weapons to defend myself

get killed or starve to death as a beggar, as what most people would do given that situation unless they were charismatic and spoke fluent latin.

Die within 72 hours from some common virus or bacteria my body has no resistance to.

Learn Latin and then invent calculus

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>>2644263
WAREN

>>2639082
I look part Irish and part Italian, and I'm also above 6', so they'd probably assume I'm some freak rape-baby from the British Isles.

I only know English, a little German, and bits and pieces of Old Norse with a grasp on the Elder Runic Alphabet. Practicing either of those last two in public would probs get me killed though.

Hopefully I can impress them with my smart phone and pocket knives and pretty blue T-shirt long enough that... I don't know.

I'm a community college student with no real skills applicable in that era, and I know fuck all about Rome. I'd probs be made a slave even though I'm a spoopy skelton and generally unfit for physical labor.

If I'm lucky I might be able to get away and head up to Germania. If I convince them I'm not Roman they might let me hang out with them. Germanics would probably be more fun to hang out with than Romans anyway.

>>2649896
I would bet my life savings on /k/

>>2646300
:^}

Imagine the impact of just teaching them calculus or chemistry would be.

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>>2653820
ROMANER

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>>2639082
Probably either be killed or worshiped. I'm a big fat guy so probably worshiped.

Tell them a mystic land to the west filled with gold and wealth, warn them about niggers and warn them about the muslims and germanics

I show the oldest men my reading glasses.

>>2639163
>Et Cetera
10/10

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>>2639731
THIS

>>2643377
IM DOING THIS RIGHT NOW

>>2639082
>wearing pants
Oh boy
Also 6'7 and 210 pounds, so i'd probably be the biggest guy around

>>2645078
hes referencing the "nazis made soap out of jews" meme

Say nothing.

Shitpost on walls wherever possible.

>>2656233
4u

>>2639082
I look for a christian community

I tell the bishop about my story
then I learn latin
I blend in

>>2656335
wait

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I'd probably be fucked as they'd think I'm a slave trying to run away. So I would just shitpost on the harem walls about the fall of Rome and barbarians until they kill me or I kill myself.

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>>2639082
>Realistically, what do you do?
Help to ban Christianity, promote pederasty, and live the rest of my days in a quiet Villa close to the Mediterranean, where the hardest choice I'd have to make would be with what boy or girl I'm going to have sex tonight.

>>2656470
I kill this guy

>>2656495
Jealous?

>>2647873
Old school and by that means also conservative romans often wore beards and complained about how new romans are biggo pussies

>>2639089
Well, I speak fluent French, so i should be able to make myself understood.

>>2656233
>6'7 and 210 pounds
skellington

Well I'm a 6'7" white guy is business attire, so first I have to pantomime to them that I'm not an alien. Then I have to convince them not to enslave me by doing some geometry in the dirt or some shit because I can't speak Latin.

This is a pretty terrible isekai OP.

>>2649896
they would need a shit ton of ammunition

>>2643507
Cholera is from India? Correct me if I'm wrong.

>>2649993
>Steam engines are useless to a slave based physiocratic economy

someone's gotta operate the horrifying metal behemoths

>tfw no industrial revolution in Rome
>tfw no Roman steam/dieselpunk

This thread. Pure gold