ITT: examples of monarchs using their power in hilarious, amazing,

>>2565256
Caligula ordering his army to stab the ocean and to collect sea shells

Also building a giant pontoon bridge across the bay of Naples for like no reason

>>2565256

From the deeds of the divine Augustus:

> I gave the people a spectacle of a naval battle, in the place across the Tiber where the grove of the Caesars is now, with the ground excavated in length 1,800 feet, in width 1,200, in which thirty beaked ships, biremes or triremes, but many smaller, fought among themselves; in these ships about 3,000 men fought in addition to the rowers.

ICH BIN DER KAISER UND ICH WILL KNÖDEL

File: 1465941916632.png (29KB, 500x300px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 500x300px

>>2565256
damn it's so tiny

>>2565262
Caligula was keeping the military in line.
He might have been crazy but he wasn't an idiot, a lot of the stuff he did was for a reason, and sometimes very sensible or clever, even it might have been done strangely. And a lot is just outright lies or altering the truth. Not that he was a good guy or anything.

>>2565262
"Collecting sea shells" was euphemism for building harbors and scouting out prospective landing sites.

Did you really think Claudius' invasion three years later was just a coincidental happenstance?

All of Henry VIII's love life
If only I had a fraction of his power

>>2565262
Also appointing a horse to a senatorial position.

>>2565619
Lol slander from post shoe era

Xerxes who ordered the Hellespont to be whipped while some priest would stand their mocking it for destroying his raft bridge before getting thouroughly cucked in Greece

>>2565373
>ICH BIN DER KAISER UND ICH WILL KNÖDEL
Ferdinand der erste hat nichts falsch gemacht

>>2565611
>you will never unleash the worst possible religion on the earth and ruin europe forever just to get your dick wet in hope for a male child
feels bad man

>>2565619
He was making fun of the senators, idiot. "You people are so dumb my horse could do a better job."

>>2567726
It's still pretty funny

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khosrow_I
>After the sack of Antioch in 540, Khosrau built a new city near Ctesiphon for the inhabitants he captured. He called this new city Weh Antiok Khusrau or literally, "better than Antioch, Khosrow built this.

Louis XVI didn't usually pull stuff like this but he got mega butthurt by Beaumarchais after being manipulated into approving the subversive Le Mariage de Figaro for performance, then he found out that Beaumarchais was still bitching about him in letters to friends. So he sent Beaumarchais to a pirison for wayward youths (aka sent misbehaving children or women who wouldn't subscribe to social norms) for a week to humiliate him, because the punishment in that prison was spanking.