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If two people in a friendship have different expectations than each other should they lower their expectations or raise them in order to make the friendship work? Or would it be better for the two of them to stop being friends?
Raising expectations requires people to take on responsibilities that they might not want to do.
Lowering expectations requires people to lower the responsibilities that they expect from others.
Ending the friendship closes the possibility of making the friendship work but it can also raise your chances of finding a friend who is more in line with your expectations.
Let's say that the difference in expectations is not vast and that both friends have commonly held expectations. This standardizes question in a way that eliminates "that depends" answers to some extent. With this in mind, what should two friends do in this situation?
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From each according to his ability to each according to his need.
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If there was love in the friendship you wouldn't need to ask these questions. Of Aristotle's three types of friendship only the highest type regards a friend as an end in itself. Friends for the purpose of mutual business and friends for the purpose of entertainment are means to those ends. If your friend is not useful to you depart from it, unless of course you care about him.
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>>2468744
>If your friend is not useful to you depart from it, unless of course you care about him.
So in the OP example if both friends care about each other then they should not depart from the relationship from your perspective. Since they shouldn't depart, should they raise or lower expectations to make the friendship work?
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>>2468765
Depends on all the particular facts. You can't come up with effective methods of general application to deal with something as complex as human relationships.
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I think raising expectations is the better option. Friends should improve each other. If your friends just lull you into complacency it won't be good for anyone. Better to have friends who motivate you to be a better version of yourself.
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