You suddenly appear in the heart of Rome in 150AD. You only have

>>2369821
Catch a disease and die.

Try my best to hide because if I get caught they're probably going to do some horrific shit to me

>>2369821
Scream amor over and over again until they tackle me and execute me

>>2369821
I'm wearing a bath robe, I should come across like some rich fag.

>>2369821

> Les Visiteurs

>>2369824
But the Antonine plague wasn't until 15 years later?

>>2369821
Hide, cry and then most likely die.

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>time travel
>mfw

Ugh.

I deliver a chiding, fiery lecture In which I list multiple grievances with the social injustice of the Romans (and really any society in Western history).

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Penicillin is way up there

Somehow impress someone important with my phone and lighter.

>>2369821
The NEET clothes I'm wearing right now would be very valuable at the time. Imagine their awe upon seeing a zipper. And the tracksuit trousers. Even the slippers would be worth many denari.
However chances are I would be robbed and enslaved before being able to sell them.

>>2369821
Probably confuse the hell out of them for looking like a Berber but sounding and dressing like some form of Germanic, before being promptly thrown into slavery and probably dying of disease at some point.

>>2369909

Does this poster really suggest eating mold and it will act as penicillin?

>Quickly touch laptop as I'm teleported.
>Walk into the middle of the market place
>Lift it up with beholden splendor

>>2369954

>get beaten and robbed

>>2369956
Or be worshiped as a God... Maybe??

>>2369960

What happens when your laptop battery dies?

>>2369964
Oh shit, I forgot there are no power outlets

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>>2369821
Absolutely find some way to ditch my modern clothes and hide them somewhere safe. They need to be protected for later when they can be safely sold for vast wealth and not get me immediately killed for their value. My shoes alone are worth a fortune, let alone my glasses that are of a weak prescription and thus would improve the eyesight of many.

Hopefully I'm near a beach and can pretend to be the survivor of a shipwreck from a strange foreign land and that I washed ashore naked, having discarded my heavy clothes in order to float better, thus explaining my nakedness.

Most people will help out others in need, there should be local religious institutions for that. I'm fairly good with recorders, flutes, whistles etc and have various other desirable skills that would help me earn my keep a little while i learned the language. I'd be focusing on language and literacy primarily. Then just my basic modern education can be applied in various ways and as long as I keep myself humble I should do just fine.

God knows how I handle shit if I'm nowhere near a beach. But I know how to make high quality charcoal, gunpowder, steel, ink, paper, etc

>>2369975
Hopefully I can get to a beach, rather.

>>2369821
Find the nearest church

>wearing pajama pants
>speaking gibberish

They'll probably just mistake me for some unruly celt.

>>2369912
Same for me

>>2369821

I'm currently in my undies, holding nothing but a shitty tablet with very low battery. I guess I walk into the woods and find somewhere peaceful to die.

>>2369964
Well it'll still be pretty badass to play some Deux Ex with a crowd huddled around me before I'm stabbed or executed

Salve. Quid pro quo ad hoc de facto lingua franca bonus veni vidi vici? persona non grata casus belli carthago delenda est ave Maria. De facto deus ex machina e pluribus unum sic semper tyrannis bona fide habeas corpus et tu Brute? Resquiescat in pace ad nauseum cogito ergo sum. et cetera.

I speak a Romance language, so learning Latin through immersion shouldn't be that difficult. I'm Latin so looks might help, taller than the average back then.
With my knowledge of anatomy and basic medicine I could become a doctor or something similar, make money and find a qt to marry. I could become many jobs tvh, a wise mathematician, a zoologist, alchemist, astronomer, philosopher.

>>2370022

How do you plan on making modern medicine?

>>2370027
I don't.
Basic medicine I said, I can do around the equivalent of a field surgeon without anything modern.
I'm young so I could try to become an apprentice for what I'm missing, and know enough about things that don't work.

>>2369881
dumbass. any "time traveler" would be dead within the year from something, there's no way you can survive in what would be a totally alien world with totally alien diseases that would tear you apart. You have immunity to diseases and viruses in their current form, but not their previous forms.

>>2370042

Also, wouldn't our strains fuck with their population?

Take out my phone and start taking pictures of women, and then go to the bathhouse to masturbate to them

>>2370050
yeah, we'd be the arbiters of mass extinction with our evolved and resilient forms of viruses and diseases that would absolutely ravage the world

>>2370008
>he thinks the term "lingua franca" existed before France was a thing

Just show them basic math, being able to do algebra and calculus is probably enough to be treated like a genius.

Who /off to the mines/ here?

Hopefully get sold as a barbarian slave to a reasonably well off Roman Family, good chances of that too considering my health. Work diligently and earn a trusted position while studying the language. Become literate and demonstrate an aptitude for simple mathematics. Become invaluable member of household but share all favours, including any financial gain with all other slaves of the household, especially those who were senior to me or of equal power, keeping only what I need to sustain myself, I don't want to fall to some jealousy-fueled plot. Once I have attained an appropriately secure relationship with my master over the course of some years I will begin to share some "discoveries" with him. I will allow the master to take all credit for these discoveries. Extremely lucrative businesses can be formed with simple modern knowledge. Take for example, fried dough or, more dangerous knowledge; compasses etc
The key is to live in the shadows as much as possible while using other people, as many as possible, to spread your modern knowledge for person gain. Eventually you would be a loved, respected and utterly indispensable servant of the Empire.

>>2370077
This, better than medicine, and no risk of killing someone by mistake

I change my profession
>>2370034

>>2370084

Any normie could probably get very close to senators and the emperor with their basic knowledge.

>>2370077
I wonder what they'd make of your wacky number system, and if it would catch on.

>>2370098
The trick is to absolutely never abuse your power or let anyone know how powerful you are, stay humble and get used. The worst thing that can happen is that you are perceived by someone, anyone, as a threat.

>>2370083
That would be a real hard mode run

Which period or Emperor would be most open to ideas of some strange time traveler? I always thought going back to Augustus' time would be good and you'd accomplish more then. But I'm a degenerate, and he didn't like that.

>>2370122
Probably one of the Severans. They were really into the eastern mysticism stuff and it would be easy to convince them you're the coming of some prophecy.

>>2370122
Become Nero's fuckboi and save him

>>2370064
>>2370064
Damn, thinking about the consequences of time travel make it seem just so improbable.

Also, if you were travel back in time who's to say you'd be placed on the earth? With the earth's rotation, you could be thrown in the middle of space during 150 AD

>>2370116
Seems the most realistic career path for an essentially mute slave that no one can understand with no applicable job skills. That or galley slave.

>>2370042
>but not their previous forms.
actually we inherit our immunity, so if our ancestors managed to develop a natural immunity to something then chances are - barring a fluke mutation in the intervening generations - we'd be immune to it too. If the black death were to break out today and for some reason modern medicine had become unavailable, mortality rates would probably still be far lower than they were in the initial medieval outbreaks simply because after repeated generations of exposure to the disease Eurasian populations have evolved a degree of immunity - and it doesn't matter that there hasn't been a major outbreak for hundreds of years. It'll take a while before the genetic drift from the lack of evolutionary pressure ends that immunity.

Of course that only helps if our ancestors actually did managed to develop an immunity to the disease.

What you've really got to worry about when travelling to the ancient world is the complete lack of hygiene which would lead to you getting exposed to a lot of stuff that your immune system isn't necessarily set up to cope with. The people of the past would probably have on average stronger immune systems simply because in those days the high infant mortality rates weeded out those who didn't have that protection. So rather than having a natural immunity to, say, a particular type of food poisoning, they would have developed an immunity because they'd already had it and survived it (unlike some of their peers). Then again, we're far better fed than ancient people so maybe our immune systems would be bolstered enough by that to make up for the lack of experience.

Anyway, on balance I think >>2370050 and >>2370064 are right that's we'd be far more of a danger to them then they would be to prospective time travellers.

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>>2370074

>>2370173
I get the joke, he spouted all the Latin terms he knows
But "lingua franca' isnt Latin, it's from the 16th century and comes from Portuguese or something

>>2369975
>Most people will help out others in need, there should be local religious institutions for that.
Oh boy. You are not going to do well in the past.

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>>2369954
Stand in the temple of Jupiter playing your favorite porn video on maximum volume

Tell people that you're a herald from the gods and that you've come with a magic mirror which allows humans to gaze upon the gods having intercourse, which is what modern day pornstars would look like to the dirty, disease ridden Romans. Then tell them that if they don't empty their pockets and give you all their money then the gods will strike them blind.

You could go from town to town pulling off this scam and getting fucking RICH in the process. Just be careful about preserving the battery so that you can build yourself a nice nest egg before it dies

>>2370162

Once you picked up Latin, I think you'd be amazed with how much you could improve the world. Even if you had no real technical knowledge, you would just see stuff that they do backward or just didn't know about yet.

>>2370188
>and comes from Portuguese or something
It's Latin. It might not have meant 'international language' before the 17th century - ancient Romans would hear it as 'language of the Franks' - but it's still latin.

>>2369821
I'm cute so I'd try and get sold off to a rich family to be a sex slave for their teenage son or something

>>2370223
Gril?

>>2370193
>be careful about preserving the battery
>he doesn't know how to build batteries with literally Iron age tech
>he doesn't know about the Baghdad batteries

inb4 you need a charger

you can get around that no problem with fucking copper

>>2370250
Pathetic little shit

I'm a 6'3 black guy (people at that time were way shorter so i'd be a giant)so i figure i'd be enslaved immediately. If not i'd try to serve in the army and fuck as many Roman women as i could

Trade your clothes, buy a canvas,some paint and some food and draw any building using perspective.

Congratulations, your art is now 1000 years ahead of anything the romans could have drawn.

>>2370285
>I'm a 6'3 black guy (people at that time were way shorter so i'd be a giant)so i figure i'd be enslaved immediately
>so i figure i'd be enslaved immediately
why?

>>2370287

Didn't they employ perspective, which was only rediscovered during the renaissance?

>>2370285
Ancient Roman society was pretty racially diverse.

They probably wouldn't enslave you

>>2370290
Work force

>>2370271
you're a more resourceful person than I am, anon.

Have fun waving your magic god mirror in people's face. Try using it to con the Emperor into letting you deflower his daughter

>>2370285
They wouldn't enslave you, they'd call you Nubian and ask you where your spear is, you could become an auxiliary in the army.

>>2370285

Do you have some weight as well? Learn to find and be a gladiator or body guard.

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>>2370292
>>2370271

For your enjoyment and edification, example of "Second Style" wall painting from Pompeii.

>>2370303
somehow you've managed to be wrong on both counts and still get the general gist right.

Ancient Roman society really wasn't racially diverse at all - it was ethnically diverse in the sense that you would have Celts and Illyrians and Thracians and Greeks and whatever living alongside each other, but the numbers of non-Europeans living in the European parts of the Roman Empire would have been tiny. And it wouldn't even have been very ethnically diverse in most places - there would have been the natives, the Romans, and not much else except perhaps in the garrison towns.

And they probably would enslave him - after all, he doesn't speak the language, he doesn't have any money, he doesn't have any family or anyone who can vouch for him.

But since you were trying to say that they wouldn't enslave him just for being black you're right there. White slaves probably made up 99% of the slave population in the Empire. It wouldn't occur to them that the colour of his skin would mark him out as a slave.

Realistically, if all you could speak was modern English, how quickly would the Romans crucify you?

>>2370345
Why would they crucify you?
Have you commited any crimes? Defected the army?
Rome was always full of foreign merchants selling their stuff, you'd just be another one who no one can understand.
If you did something dumb then something might happen to you.

>>2370345
They'd probably assume you're some kind of German, especially if you're babbling English and wearing pants. Although if you did this >>2370008 they'd just think you're insane. Not sure what happened to mentally ill people back then

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>>2369821
Even if you do know latin you probably wont be able to communicate with them that well.

You wont know any slangs, idioms, or any language quirks that can only be learned by living with it.
Also the accents could be wildly different.

>>2370381
you just have to learn the local memes though, then you can shitpost with the best of them on the local image wall

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>>2370391

>>2370345
>>2370362
Write down "VIRGIL" over and over, then try to demonstrate from memory how pasteurization works.

>>2370402
>Implying Virgil was his real name

>>2370402
What does Virgil have to do with pasteurization?

Use bigdaddy cheat andf btfo the whole empire with a rocket launching car

>>2369821
dude im horrible at languages. id never be able to learn latin or any language fluently which would severely limit my opportunities.

>>2370084
dude id just want to have sex with an infinite supply of women. if I can use my knowledge to obtain enough riches to do that forever and live comfortably id be fine.

>>2370122
Caligula

>>2370345
The Romans reserved crucifixion for crimes against the state.

So don't provoke any slave rebellions and you should be fine.

fuck many men and women like the good roman people did before christianity fucked the world up

>>2369821
talk about the rine and nile river and Christianity because that's all ic an talk about in latin .

>>2370635
Sell my blonde locks to a wig maker.
Buy Roman take out and a cheap tunic.
Bet the rest of my money on the Greens at the Circus Maximus.

>>2370163
>The people of the past would probably have on average stronger immune systems simply because in those days the high infant mortality rates weeded out those who didn't have that protection.
Overly strong immune system can shorten your life or strain systemic functions, ever see people with hayfever?

I feel like rape would happen

I would go to the nearest are with soft earth and make as realistic a world map as possible, and then try to convey to passersby where Rome is.

Give Rome an idea how much there is left to conquer.

I reckon the maths way is the way to go. Impressive but not costly or dangerous and mathematicians will be more open minded that say General Bellendious you are trying to flog your steel to. Im going on Khan academy today, just in case.

>>2369824
Actually, wouldn't it be the other way round? I think we'd probably give them horrible diseases

>>2369821
Probably get enslaved and thrown into the gladiator pits where I get eaten by a lion

>>2371877
Depends. Obviously we have diseases that we've adapted to, but it's possible that we've de-adapted to roman diseases since that version of them might have become extinct.

>>2369849
GOAT movie

>ywn arrive in Rome just as a new batch of slave girls is taken to the Colosseum and raped to death by all kinds of animals in front of a cheering crowd

>>2371924
Rome was a conservative civilization. I doubt this happened.

What invention would the romans have the most use out of that you could reasonably recreate back then with an hour or so research trip around the internet before you get time portaled? Would any military invention like gunpowder even be useful to them, since they're already the toughest dudes around?

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>>2370008
My sides! Holy fuck
>>2370074
>>2370362
Kek, did you even understand what he wrote?

>>2370008
>Resquiescat in pace
i kek'd

>>2369929
Not at all?

Go to the slave market and by myself some barbarian qt from Gaul

My jeans are some damn fine and robust textile masterworks, I can probably sell them for a talent of silver to a merchant if I throw in a hastily scribbled map that marks its origin with an X somewhere in the Far East.
Actually I could probably make a living as a cartographer. I draw like an 8 year old and I barely remember any coastlines but that apparently still makes better at producing world maps than any contemporary navigator. I just need to remember that east is up.

>>2369975
I'm sure there were charitable religious institutions that would shove you towards the nearest slave market.

>immediately get stopped on account of my attire
>draw crowd
>when they start talking to me, pretend to be deaf
>they probably bring me a board with wax to communicate on
>start drawing geometry and equations in a geometric way which would be advanced for the time.
>hope at least one person in the crowd is literate or learned

>>2372043
I'm not sure what advanced geometry would look like without modern mathematic notation, although even normal geometry would be pretty impressive for some deaf-mute stranger. You could at least earn your bread solving math problems in public.

>use Latin basics I know to learn more
>learn Greek and everything else I can
>use my modern knowledge to fill in the holes
>try to get sponsorship for Azores-Canares-Iberia trip to prove how gyres work
>if successful, Iceland is next
>go to not-yet-Vinland
>bring some savages back to Rome as proof
>we prepare to conquer the western hemisphere
>America is named in my honour
>ascend to the pantheon

>>2370163
>actually we inherit our immunity,

that works for a few generations. no reason to assume those memory cells would still have those antibodies stored for diseases that died out a thousand years ago.

there'd be diseases around then that none of your ancestors would have encountered for a long time.

>>2370271
laptops receive alternating current from the mains, no? how would you immitate that?

Or maybe you could take out your laptop's battery and stick home-made wires directly into your computer attached to your home-made chemical battery.

I doubt you'd be able to get the right current and voltage . you'd have no way to calibrate what a current or a volt was.

>>2370345
they would probably think that you were an escaped slave if they heard you speaking some foreign tongue, knowing no latin or greek or other contemporary language and that your master had dressed you in odd clothes.

the most interest would be towards your clothes.

rather than say anything in a weird language and reveal you know no latin, better to pretend to be deaf when people start to talk to you, then if they give you something to write on , either start drawing a map of italy and the mediterranean, and the middle east or start drawing some mathematics.

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Can you intentionally sell yourself into slavery? Assuming I got a grasp of latin, I could approach a wealthy man and say that I'm from two thousand years in the future and that I would tell him everything that I know in exchange for room and board, it'd be a better sell than just being tall and germanic. Even beyond the actually useful shit like understanding of germ theory, it would hopefully be entertaining to him.

Historical events, the world, modern society, modern technology, astronomy, chemistry, physics, philosophy, movies, video games, comics, geography, the internet, mathematics, cell theory, evolutionary theory, 4chan, my family, military technology, the atom bomb, skyscrapers, robots, my education, telephones, animation (page flip, or that thing where you have a rotating cylinder with peep holes), telling him how fucking awesome everyone thinks rome was, computation, music, foods, bicycles, sports, etc, there's a shitload of things I could tell him, I should be unique in the entire world. If he has any greek scholar I could hopefully also communicate with him about all these things from a more academic perspective. I'm just wearing towels right now, but my believability should go through the roof if I got to bring my phone as well.

The fall of rome and evolutionary theory would probably be touchy subjects, the latter because it might contradict the roman religion and the former due to obvious reasons.

Or would I just get beaten for talking insanity when I said I was from the future? Did the romans even have an understanding of a future different from the present?

>>2372057
Just do some geometric constructions. Draw a triangle and determine incenter, outcenter and orthocenter. Demonstrate that you know about the Pythagorean theorem.

People should recognise that you're someone with formal education but simply don't speak the language. Once you fit in better, you can drop some bigger bombs on them, like arabic numerals, algebra, statistics, vectors or functions.

>>2372118
>arabic numerals
more like time traveler numerals

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>>2370008

I probably possess the knowledge which if put together and used by someone wiser than me could yield me amazing results, but realistically I would probably just run away into the northern woods trying to locate my barbarian ancestors and die before getting out of the empire's boundaries. If I survived I'd try to join some barbarian tribes, or just live alone in the old wild European forests. I don't like the idea of being some low scum beggar on the street or a slave in some mine.

>>2372204
>hey there's some scrawny pasty city boy who keeps pestering us, I think he wants food
>ah very good, the high chief wanted a new klönne since he stabbed the other one out of boredom

>>2372228
I'd be 10cm higher than the average person at the time, I'm slightly fat, which would probably be really weird as I'd be in ruined oddly colorful clothes and I'm hairy as a troll together with a long curly beard. Not sure what they'd make out of me... I don't know what klönne means, but I doubt I'd be someone's fuccboy, they'd probably just think I'm some insane hobo from the woods and try to chase me away.

>>2372249
A klönne is probably what they would call the jester/court idiot if they had such a position available.

1. Teach those dumb fucks Arabic numerals.
2. Pull out my lighter.
3. Become Emperor and Grand Wizard

>>2372258
If they'd feed me, that'd probably be the best case actually.

What would a roman think of evolutionary theory/abiogenesis/the history of the universe? Would they go full creationist?

>tshirt, sweatpants, a waffle cookie and tyre levers

I-I guess I reverse engineer the cookie and create the first waffle cookie bakery? And use the tyre levers for papyrus weight.

>>2372116
>all these things you only know descriptively about
>yfw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa_hiLXLbTc

>>2372292
That depends on the time period. There was a small window when some Roman's believed in agnostic/atheist beliefs. But by that point Rome was on the verge of death.

>>2369821
>touch my bag of weed and bong
>start garden
>spend my life getting stoned with senators on the steps of the forum

>>2372379
>ywn smoke a fat joint with Brutus

Why live?

>>2372379
Daaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmnnnn that would be dope,

>>2372351
Hey, it's not like I could reconstruct a computer even if I had a doctorate in the subject, this shit requires infrastructure.

>>2372382
>>2372383
Yeah, sorry I'm not extremely prolific like the other anons. Just seemed like the most interesting option all considering
>ywn give Cicero the courage to get stabbed

>>2372384
That's why that list is meaningless.
Your best bet for Roman times technology is developing and implementing steam power.

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>quickly remove all my clothes and touch my bike
>remove the seatpost, run to the nearest vestal temple and rape all the virigns
>laugh maniacally as I'm carried to the cross

>>2369821
Role play about being sent back in time to Greece c.600BC.

>>2372396
I could still explain rudimentary cell theory to help understand infectious diseases as well as a few other minorly useful things probably, but it would mainly be about entertaining my master with my wild-ass tales which would be unlike anything in the world.

Greek scholars were much less practical as well, so maybe my theories of natural science could interest him.

>cup of coffee
>brutal hangover
>book of meister eckharts writings

???

>>2372440
That book could probably start a revolution. The paper, I mean.

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>>2371930
Exactly, they were conservatives, and like modern conservatives were all on board finding inventive new ways to punish "criminals" and didn't even particularly care that the government just rounded up a bunch of scapegoats and called them "criminals" (often without even a trial) in an excuse to feed them to the machine of mass public entertainment. Most of these "conservatives" were already dependent upon the government dole for their daily bread so why would they rock the boat about something like that?

And animals raping female criminals was sort of a rare treat for them because of how insanely difficult it is to train an animal to rape a person, especially in an open arena surrounded by a screaming mob. You have to mind-fuck the animal and torture it into insanity and then gradually drill the desired behavior into the animal under constant threat of punishment. One infamous bestiarii in particular was a man named Carpophorus who was widely prized and admired for his ability to train a horse to rape a woman.

These were bleak. uncaring times and most of the Roman population would have been mired in urban poverty and blight.

>>2370397

>ywn shitpost in the senate with your quaestor bros

B R A N D Y

Alright, assuming I happened to be wearing an AK-47, stab-proof body armor, a helmet, a backup pistol, two dozen grenades, a knife, and a roller suitcase containing ten thousand rounds of ammunition, could anyone stop me from killing or forcing the flight of the senate while proclaiming myself the wrath of jupiter?

>>2372618
Easily, one troop of archers from distance firing ten arrows a minute each will result in you becoming a pin-cushion.

>>2372631
Does arrows work against stab proof armor? Even so, it requires that they shoot first, and my weapon is obviously more powerful, I don't think an archer could kill a rifleman if both spotted each other simultaneously.

>>2372618
>Implying that you're not sitting in your underwear in the dark with your wiener in hand browsing 4chan

The shock and awe of marching into the forum and killing someone by pointing a funny looking stick at them would give you a huge initial sway but you'd need to capitalize on that glory and consolidate your power as soon as possible before the Emperor decides to make it 'his' funny looking stick and has you poisoned or throttled in your sleep.

>>2372631
you severely overestimate the strength of arrows. Even with medieval armor you had to constantly rain arrows down on their heads and hope one gets lucky and happens to hit a guy in the neck or face, both of which would be damn near impossible if he were wearing, say, a suit of police riot armor. And if he started dropping them with his AK they would collectively shit themselves at the raw killing power of modern weaponry

>>2372672
Wait, you don't sit around in full school shooter gear all day?

But yeah, the second I go on a rampage in rome my life is forfeit, I have absolutely zero connections to make this a coup rather than a terrorist attack and I can't kill the entire city before having to sleep. Though maybe I could free all the slaves I come across and act as their leader, so I could ride the slave revolt into some place other than a swift death.

No roman soldiers should survive though, even if they come at me as a human wave grenades should be enough to break any large formations, and they wouldn't want to try the same tactic more than a few times again since they don't know I can run out of nades.

>>2372118
Just write the 6 first decimals of pi and people will probably realise you're litterate.

The tough part is figuring out how to write it in roman numerals.

>too far in the future to check out the historical jesus
why live

Seek my Christian brethren and finally figure out whether the Catholics or Protestants are right.

>>2372364
Really makes you think

>>2372750
>historical jesus
So.. the Biblical one.

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>>2372116
>Some guy knocks on your door
>Hi Anon! I'm from 3203 AD. We've found the cure for every possible disease but I need to speak to your leader, the president I think he's called?

Now tell me, what would you do?

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>>2372699
>Wait, you don't sit around in full school shooter gear all day?
Made me laugh, thanks

If you were to just run around killing people like Seung-Hui Cho's wet dream I, it's not like you really present them with a choice but to run the fuck away, and considering that you don't speak Latin you'd be letting them invent whatever story they wanted to invent about you.

You'd probably want to learn the language before launching your rampage, but if you were to do something like, say, free the slaves and carry their otherwise doomed revolt to total victory, they'd probably start worshiping you as their god on Earth, though DESU it would probably royally fuck up their society and lead to a shit load of human misery if you let the lowliest dregs of society run rampant.

If comfort, money, and pussy is what you were after, support the Republican hold-outs in the senate and revert Rome back to being an oligarchy masquerading as a Democracy instead of a military autocracy masquerading as a Democracy. Then the senators would probably start worshiping you. They called Pompey "The Great" for the simple act of putting down a slave revolt, they'd probably be lined up around the block wanting you to marry their daughters

>>2372497
>And animals raping female criminals was sort of a rare treat for them because of how insanely difficult it is to train an animal to rape a person, especially in an open arena surrounded by a screaming mob. You have to mind-fuck the animal and torture it into insanity and then gradually drill the desired behavior into the animal under constant threat of punishment. One infamous bestiarii in particular was a man named Carpophorus who was widely prized and admired for his ability to train a horse to rape a woman.


Source

>>2372864
ask him to prove it, obviously

>>2372870
>If you were to just run around killing people like Seung-Hui Cho's wet dream I, it's not like you really present them with a choice but to run the fuck away, and considering that you don't speak Latin you'd be letting them invent whatever story they wanted to invent about you.
Luckily, I have google translate, so I would let them know in no unclear terms that Istud est pretium libertatis

and yeah a slave revolt society would be shit, it's not like I have any actual reason to fuck over rome other than curiosity, everyone loves rome

If I were to present some scientists or engineers a single Colt 1911 handgun and disappear, what would happen?

Would they learn how to make them through reverse engineering? Or would they accidentally fire it once and destroy it out of fear?

>>2372902
>Luckily, I have google translate
>no internet to use it with
>implying you'd be able to speak coherently with google translations

>>2372903
>scientists
>rome
But no, they're metallurgically incapable of reproducing it, plus they won't have enough gunpowder to be able to chemically reverse-engineer that substance, even if they were good at chemistry which I have no idea of.

Probably draw some basic geometry theorems on the ground with some sticks for passersby, and hope they realize I'm not retarded.

Doesn't help that I look like a snowniggers so to them I'd be a barbarian.

>>2372876
"Those About to Die" by Daniel P. Mannix

The games were actually pagan spectacles and recreating famous scenes from mythology was a popular aspect of the games. And Zeus transforming into an animal in order to have his way with a woman was a popular and enduring one.

>>2369821
Wait, so medieval people were what, a feet smaller on average? Same for Romans?
I mean, you would be godlike in that case

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>>2370008
MFW some of these idiots think this gibberish isn't just garbled Latin phrases.

>>2369821
I have a CCW. Shoot a couple people in public just to make an example of my godly power.

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>tfw have rosary beads on me

>>2373033

Do you look at guys who are 6'7 as god-like? No you look at him and think "huh he's tall" and carry on with your day.

Unless you are some Hafthor Bjornsson built dude, no one is going to give a fuck.

>>2369821
Loudly profess my belief in Christianity and end up an early Martyr

>>2373260

Different context. In a world where most fighting was melee-type and big dudes had huge strength and reach advantages with swords and spears, being tall meant being the big dog.

>>2373303
Not necessarily.

In his commentaries on the Gallic Wars Caesar records that his men were initially fearful of the taller, more sturdily built Celts and even more afraid of the Germans who were head and shoulders taller than the average Roman.

This fear gradually turned into disdain as the Romans' up close and dirty fighting style with large shields and short swords turned their size into a liability in the cramped quarters of the melee. The Romans carried the day by being a hell of a lot more organized about waging war than anyone else and by having the discipline and the balls to get ride up under the reach of that screaming, savage Celt wielding a long sword more appropriate for 1-on-1 duels than a pitched melee.

>>2369821

I could be a scribe. I may not understand everything, but I still know the alphabet, and it's a simple matter of copying everything in upper case.

What's latin for scribe, btw?

In all honesty though, we all become slaves.

I would bring one of those dollar store solar powered calculators. I would be the greatest mathematician of the ancient age.

>>2369821

I have twenty British Pounds Sterling in my pocket. As inflation means that £20 is worth much less now than it was in the past I can probably afford a nice house and a harem if slave girls.

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>>2373383

>Speak a language that doesn't exist yet
>About a foot taller than everyone
>Wearing clothes made of materials that don't exist yet

Probably get laughed at for being such a weirdo. Then enslaved.

>>2373442
And then raped.

>>2369821
my major in Classical history is final useful
same with my learning Greek and Latin

>>2369954
>you get stabbed and robbed
>battery dies

>>2370084
that or you get sold and forced to work in a silver mine

>>2373551
>"this one is good stock. We'll get weeks out of him"

>>2369919
Lol, I guess the same thing would happen to me

go through weed withdrawal and die

>stupid barbarian wearing funny clothes who can;t speak a real language
>a good foot taller than most people and probably much larger, either fat or fit

you'd be just straight up grabbed off the street and pressed into some street gang, sold as a slave for some heavy labour job, or shoved into the arena by a group of Lictors fed up with your antics

your best bet would be to join the army honestly
at least you'd get a citizenship and some land, maybe even a chance to put forward some novel modern strategies

>Be completely confused
>Think I am dreaming
>Realize I am not dreaming
>Mental breakdown because holy fucking shit I am in ancient Rome
>Probably draw a crowd
>If I manage to keep my wits about me, just try looking at architecture because why not
>Eventually get either enslaved and/or just die

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>>2370397
>>2370391
they had the best memes

>>2369824
considering the average height in ancient Rome is 5'7", most people nowadays will be giants to them

>>2373647
>your best bet would be to join the army honestly
fuck that, the army would be the last place a modern person would want to find themselves.

Years of being mercilessly beaten for the slightest infractions, treated like complete shit because you are an auxiliary, constant daily drills which were more like bloodless battles, a daily ration of hardtack and nasty, muddy camp water that is giving everyone dysentery and diarrhea (which makes the camp even more disgusting than it already was). All for shitty pay (even by ancient standards) and a vague hope that your general can secure you some random plot of land way out in the ass middle of nowhere which he'd rather give to someone who is already a citizen.

If he's okay with a harsh, brutal life surrounded by death and misery, the arena would be a lot better paying. People might even find his strange appearance to be a novelty

>>2369821
I become a God-Fearer and warn my fellow Romans and Kikes to not persecute the Christians so they cannot "grow from the blood of the martyrs"

I can speak Irish so my best bet is probably try to get to Roman Gaul and try my best to communicate with those guys

>>2373867
>Irish
>at all similar to continental Celtic
and no Brittany doesn't count because they are exiles from Britain

>>2373867
Or you could just go to Ireland.

>>2369821
I hope they never ask me to use any past participles or I will be stabbed on the spot.

>>2370362
Germans and Germanics aren't the same thing, m8

>>2370454
This gentleman gets it

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>still know basic latin from school; will probably be fluent within a year
>hope i don't get killed
>hopefully become rich patricians slave or get into military
>draw schematics of warmachines all the time (updated crossbows, trebuchets....)
>hope that one of my smarter superiors recognizes my talents
>become ancient davinci
>gradually introduce new shit until have started industrial revolution (i'm actually a /sci/entist, so i'd get some shit done i figure)

>>2369821
Perform obscene poetry in my mishmash of the Latin tree. The proles will love it.

I'd like to see if the viticulture and beer was comparable to today.

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>>2369821
>You only have what you're wearing and carrying on your person right now
>and carrying on your person right now
Shoot the emperor.

>>2373742
the more things change, the more they stay the same

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>>2369821
Wipe out most of Europe with various diseases

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>>2369821
I'd probably be really stressed at this happening to me. I'd got nothing on me but my jeans, socks, belt, polo shirt, light jacket and shoes with holes in them. I'd also be really afraid. First thing to do would be find a safe spot, crawl into a fetal position next to the shade of a tree or a safe hole somewhere and sleep it out.

I'd keep my clothes on to keep warm, even if Italy of course was warm. I'd be scared, so I'd be comforted by the soft, modern fabric. I'd be experiencing that comfortable kind of warmth, a feverish warmth you know? The kind where, your body is hot, and you're sweating under the covers, but you even just stick your leg out, it's freezing so you stay bundled up and just sweat it out? That's what I'd do.

I'd also cry a little. A couple salty tears blinding my vision, which I wouldn't bother trying to rub out because I'd prefer to not see anything. Then I start getting sad/depressed/melancholic, and started self-pitying myself until I enjoyed my sadness.

After all that, it'd probably be night time, too dangerous and dark to move so I'd have the entire night to plot a strategy to adapt to the new world. I'd probably get stressed at the idea of having to learn Latin with no modern educational resources. I have a tendency to get irritable bowl syndrome if I'm too stressed, frustrated, exasperated. Maybe it'd be easier to learn how to play music? I'd become a bard and communicate with music! Humanities universal language!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_2fyB4dj4U

>>2369821
I'm an oriental so any hope of being somebody in the Empire died the moment I opened my eyes for the first time.

then I would try to find work, which is unlikely since I cannot speak latin. failing that, I give up and starve to death, my corpse will be removed and tossed into the Tiber like old garbage.

>>2372903
They would have a hard time reverse engineering a modern gun in the 18th century (and most of the 19th)

It's not about whether or not they understand it on paper, but whether they can actually make parts to the precision required

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TFW I have the mark of the legion tattooed on my arm. They probably think I was a traitor and deserter and crucify me.

>>2376426
Stolen Valor dude what the fuck

>>2369821
>be at the gun range reading this
>touch the loaded rifle before I vanish
>make my way out of the city and snipe roman soldiers for fun then kill myself

would be pretty nice to give those Romans a fright.

>>2376438
Dont you worry. The day a Roman legionnaire comes up to me and tells me Ive done something wrong I'll get it removed.

>gather crowd
>do thumb separating illusion
>?
>be rich, fuck slave girls

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>>2372582
>B R A N D Y
I understood this reference.

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Take my blade and my 22 carat gold earring. Wearing some nice sneakers shorts and shirt I am 6'2 89kg. I'll be a merc who learns to write Latin and compose novels on his adventures and other works on eeriely predictive events.

I'm butt naked right now and holding a bag of sugar.
At least the weather is warm.

>>2376409
>I'm an oriental so any hope of being somebody in the Empire died the moment I opened my eyes for the first time.
Say you're an envoy from the fabled far east kingdom where silk comes from

Show them HBO Rome on my phone.

>>2369909

This is so wrong, unrealistic and stupid I'm literally ashamed for the person who made it.

>>2376409

Dude what are you talking about, Romans regarded the chinese as basically mystical beings.

>>2376524
your cat thinks you're an embarrassment

>>2377036
>>2376995
my acting and improvisational skills aren't so good, you also are overestimating the power of superstition on any meaningful roman authority, at best i'd be a figurehead, an illiterate tool of the senate or emperor.

>>2369821
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Came_Early

More than likely what the plot of this story will repeat.

>>2377080
While this is an amazing book, part of the reason why it worked out so badly for the protagonist is that he ended up in a fucking podunk among peasants with the closest thing to industry and infrastructure being a village smithy, surrounded by people who understand little about maths, engineering etc and have little interest in learning.
Someone who ends up in a Roman (or even better, Chinese) city and can get a local bigshot to lend him a ear would fare much better. Working under a wealthy patron together with a team of civil engineers or scholars, who might even have some experience in stripping secrets from foreigners who pass through the city, should lead to much better results.

>>2377545
Also the values and social mores of a civilized people, even ancient China, are automatically closer to our own than medieval Scandinavia. It's something like convergent evolution.

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>>2370008
>casus belli

My Latin is shit and even if you know Latin Roman was not even Latin we speak today you'd still be fucked. I'd either try to learn and join the Legions but most likely become enslaved and be a gladiator. Im not a massive give but Im a healthy weight and lift. I could also be jammed in a coal mine or some shit.

>>2370008
best post ITT, they would think you are some kind of clown and you would be escorted to some senator or nobleman to be his personal entertainer

I have two solar-powered calculators.
I think I lucked out more than anyone else desu.

ex-/k/ and /g/ here,
I have been on many survival tours, and know a lot about surviving. I did even train with a guy from my country's elite force. I could use a sword fairly good thanks to my dad who thought fencing is a great sport (It's not). And my physical condition is alright too.
I have my normie clothes on me, my spyderco and swiss army knife, wallet with a flint, watch and phone.
I think I would go to a forest nearby to make a hidden bunker or something, gather basic gear and equipment there by stealing and raiding bandit camps.
Befriend merchants whom I sell stolen things to, learn language, sell them my "inventions", upgrade my weapons. Eventually make a rifle or a gun, hunt outlaws with it for money and loot. Start mass-producing "modern" weapons to sell the the state.

What are some good books in Roman history?

>>2378026

Lords of the Horizons: A History of the Ottoman Empire

>>2378026
Anals by Tacitus
Julius Caesar Is Fucking Great by J. Caesar

>>2371877
>>2371907
You aren't just carrying plagues around with you. One generally has to be symptomatic to be infectious. If you went back in time you wouldn't wipe everyone out with smallpox unless you right then were suffering from smallpox.

>>2378026
I shill Roman Aristocrats in Barbarian Gaul every time someone asks, even if it's about late antiquity/age of migrations

>show up in Rome
>armed with my steel machete looking dumbfounded.
>spend time learning Latin in order to communicate
>ask for the nearest directions to Germania
>haul my 6'3 ass to fight barbarians
>run off and join Germanic barbarians
>fuck bitches kill manlet romans

>>2378816
>implying the barbarians won't rob, kill, and rape you in that order

>>2378998
Yes, that's right you got it.

What single invention do you guys think would make you the largest ungodly sum of money?

>>2378268
I didn't know that, thank you.

>>2379427
B R A N D Y

>>2379427
CO2 to oxygen converter and a plastic magnet for the ocean just to take hippies money.

>>2379427
Hot air balloon rides

>>2378816

You shitpost on 4chan with a steel machette on your person?

>>2369821
I've actually sat here for about ten minutes thinking about it and can't come up with a realistic solution; even if I were given 48 hours to plan before being transported to Rome. The best things to take would probably be gold and silver and authentic period clothing; being a speaker of a Romance language would make it a lot easier. The best longterm plan would be to have calculators and an engineering textbook or something, skills in chemistry or engineering would be useful. But even for these skilled people not knowing Latin and having no social standing or protection in such a populated urban center could almost surely be death.

If I were taller and fairer, or asian or something, I would pretend to be an emissary from some fictional highly wealthy civilized nation on the distant edge of the world that was robbed en route to Rome, hoping that the story would give me enough time to both learn to speak and ingratiate myself with some aristocrats

>>2379455
this motherfucker has it right

>>2369821
Sell my watch to the highest bidder and buy some paper and something to draw with. Then I try to explain through illustrations that I need shelter and food and can't understand Latin. I would try and be useful to anyone who is willing to provide me shelter, and learn Latin. I might also draw a crude map of the world to gain attention. After I've learned Latin I would invent the steam engine and gunpowder. Preferably selling the secret of gunpowder to the military. Hopefully I can get on good terms with the Roman government and emperor due to my inventions. I'd try to get myself into a position of a royal advisor of sorts, proving my worth by providing knowledge about the world. I might also write a few prophetic words for the future warning about the rise of Atilla, Islam, civil war and the great migrations.

>>2379427
Rudimentary medicine

>>2380035
>buy some paper
Got bad news for you

>>2380177
On that note:
>>2379427
Linen rag paper.

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>>2373758
>tfw ur 5'8

Salvete, populus romanus!
In oppido magno ambulare capio, multas gratias ago!

I'd just sit round and draw like I do now. I'd have sex with tons of men and women.

>>2379451
converting co2 to oxygen is straightforward moron. it's just net energy loss and neither end product is particularly valuable.

>>2369821
age ut romani

>>2374053
https://youtu.be/nfommhhs0OY?t=855
Around 14:17 there is a chariot similar to the one at the bottom.

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>>2373383

>rob the nearest market
>flee the city into the surrounding wilderness
>try to find a way to get back to my time
>if it's impossible, spend the rest of my life as a bandit that robs passerby
>all these other faggots thinking they can actually speak and reason with ancient romans

>>2371910
>>2369849
Best french movie desu

most likely die of a disease

>>2370362
They became emperor

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>>2371930
>conservative civilization

No they wern't. Not in the sense you mean(religious prudes), and not even in the correct sense (not open to new behavior or opinions and unwilling to discard traditional values). Wealthy and respected Romans would literally put statues of this guy, with his massive raging pork sword outside of thier houses with plaques specifying that female trespasses would be raped, boys would be sodomized and men would be face fucked. Do you think these are the sort of people who would object raping a slave to death on moral pricipal? Rights for slaves wasnt really a thing until the Principate, and largly do to thier dwindling stock.
As for the correct use, I don't know of a more liberal civilization in antiquity. Even in the early republic they integrated the best of greek and etruscan practices, religion and language.

Do I think this might have happened at one time? Given the amount of batshit insane emperors, it's almost certain that something like this happened once. Antoninus Fulvus Pius wasn't one of them, so who knows?

ANNO POST AVGVSTVS MMIII

>>2370193
Wh...where's the penis?

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>>2369821

I can speak italian but have never taken a latin course. I know some of the more basic words though and can figure out the roots.

How fucked will I be if I write in Italian and change out the words (Io->Ego, etc.)

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>>2370250
>sex slave
>rome
>teenage son
>female sex slave
>ROME
>BUGGER A BOY FOR STRENGTH; DON'T TRUST THE VAGINAL JEW ROME
>R O M E
>O
>M
>E

no

>>2372004
With what?

>>2369821
Unleash a plague by accident then die

>romanes eunt domus

>then dead

>>2370042
Not really, we have robust immune systems, there's a reason native American sicknesses didn't impact the settlers the same way as vice versa.

>>2379552
Yeah just about

>>2382720
It didn't impact because Native Americans barely had any diseases because they never domesticated any animals. Because the constant exposure to animals on Eurasia a lot of animal viruses mutated to infect humans and vice versa. Then we brought those (immunized for Eurasian people) viruses to Native America.

Native Americans never had a chance when they contacted mutated horse viruses to also kill humans when they never were in contact to horses for the last millenials.

>>2370050
I have the flu right now.

I make my living among the survivors as history's greatest cartographer/explorer, spreading my diseases far and wide across the world.

RIP ancient world.

>>2372760
Realistically speaking this is the smartest option. Find the nearest church, draw a fish or cross on the ground and get taken in until you can learn latin.

Note that this is a good way to not get killed in most areas of Christendom in most eras you happen to accidentally time travel to.

> Wearing my pyjama and my Protomen shirt
> Not wearing anything else
> Not even wearing shoes
> Don't speak latin
> Don't know nothing about Rome besides general knowledge (my specialization is in contemporary Asia ; not interested in the Antique)
> Kinda /fit/ tough

I might be turned into a slave for some eccentric noble. But considering I don't speak the local language, I would be surely assassinated by my owner because I misunderstood his command.

Would the Emperor spare me and invite me into his familia as a well-off slave if I showed him how to make gunpowder and hot air balloons?

>>2379432
It just goes to show how actually infectious diseases are when you are symptomatic that they are able to spread so far. Also there are exceptional cases such as carriers.

>>2369821
Impress them with my modernity so that they see me as a god so that I can recieve the harem of my dreams.

>>2371977

"The mold Penicillium Notatum, found on food. It's incredible effective at stopping infection, and works by preventing other bacteria from making new cell walls and reproducing....Make a vaccine by growing a culture and then heating it: the heat will kill the virus, and their dead shells are enough to teach the body to fight."

No. That's not how it works.

>>2370356
Roman citizens couldn't be crucified. So why would defecting from the army mark you for crucifiction?

>>2369821
>Realistically, what do you do?
Try and navigate my way to the British Isles to live amongst my ancestors

set up a pizza shop.

>>2385625
Are you trolling? Those are two different paragraphs, one about penicillin and the next one about viruses and vaccines.

>>2386888

Even so, you have to do tons of thing to the mold in order to get penicillin. To include adding specific chemicals.

>>2386894
>you have to do tons of thing to the mold in order to get penicillin
The mold literally produces penicillin by itself in order to kill the bacteria that are competing for its food. You can simply apply the mold locally (that's how the mold itself uses penicillin, and people have actually done it all throughout history), it's just more effective if you isolate penicillin from it, plus it's easier to process and distribute.
Other chemicals are added in order to make modern pharmaceutical penicillin for all sorts of reasons, but it boils down to helping preserve the substance from being degraded before it reaches some bacteria.

>>2386938

Not to mention getting out all of the undesirable or dangerous things.

>>2369821
I sit there knowing that I will die in the next three days, yet all I will ponder about is "why do I shitpost naked?"

>>2371952
Printing press is the usual example that comes to mind.

Though for some reason the idea of introducing a bike far before it should be is a really entertaining one.

>>2377080
>The Man Who Came Early
I bet he wasn't too popular with the ladies.

good luck getting tomatoes, they are american

>>2369821
learn roman math syntax and invent higher algebra + calculus + arabic numbers. That's pretty much the only thing you could achieve without being laughed at by others

>>2385714
True. Traitors and deserters were typically scourged and beheaded.

>>2370008
Someone explain this post to me.

>>2382720
syphilis was from the New World

>>2389318
Hello. Something for something in that in fact French good came saw won? Unappreciated person cause of war Carthage must be destroyed hail Maria. In fact god from the machine from multiple one so always to tyrants in good faith you may have the body and you, Brutus? Rest in peace until illness I think therefore I am and others.

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>>2369894
Absolutely barbaric

I am a naked longhaired guy speaking some barbarian germanic gibberish. I think ill see the mines pretty soon.

can I go buy a couple hundred pounds of salt first?

>>2390471
oh, and aluminum foil too.