A Persian Zoroastrian homosexual cataphract horseman and fire

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Oh wow ha

>>2212460
reposted to reddit :)

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Nice

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>>2212460
A takfiri zionist polytheist fire-worshipping professor and shiite mullah was teaching class on Ali, a known kuffar

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Ali (peace be upon him) and accept that he was the most holy being the world has ever known, even greater than Muhammad!”

At this moment, a brave, devout, Sunni islamist champion who had bombed 1500 Shia temples and understood the necessity of jihad and fully supported all military decisions made by Saudi Arabia stood up and held up a copy the Quran

”Who is the true defender of the faith, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Persianly and smugly replied “The Ayatollah, you stupid Sunni”

”Wrong. Muslims don't worship a flame and 12 false prophets. If your Ayatollah is, as you say, the defender of the faith… then he would be ruling Mecca and Medina by now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of The Avesta. He stormed out of the room crying those Iranian crocodile tears. The same tears Iranians cry for the “Shia” (who today live in such apostasy that they draw pictures of the prophet) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving Saudi royal family. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Xerxes Khamenei, wished he had accepted the one true faith and become more than a jewish crusader puppet. He wished so much that his cult had legitimacy from the historical khilafa, but he himself had rejected it!

The students applauded and all destroyed false idols that day and accepted Muhammad (pbuh) as their prophet. An eagle named “Abu Bakr” flew into the room and perched atop the Saudi Arabian Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The Shahadah was recited several times, and Allah himself showed up and enacted a Zakat tax across the country

The professor lost his tenure and was beheaded the next day. His body was eaten by vultures which burst into flames and died as well

Allahu Akhbar

>>2212529
>Ali, a known kuffar
Saudis would have you killed for saying that my man

Also,
>smirked quite Persianly
kek

A backward, moronic and unwashed farsi shiite scum was teaching a class on ali, known heretics.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and shah ismail, the greatest Sultan that the entire islamic world has ever known!"

At this moment, a brave, pious muhajideen who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of jihad fi sabil Allah and would give his life for Ibn Taymiyyah stood up and held up a copy of the quran.

"How important is the The Twelve Imams, munafiqun?"

The arrogant persian smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "It is the soul of the Islamic faith, you stupid bedouin."

"Wrong. Everyone knows that the Shahada is the true creed of Allah. If Islam was about The Twelve Imams… then we would all be guilty of shirk by now."

The persian was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and his hummus. He stormed out of the room crying those persian crocodile tears. The same tears shiite scum cry for the zindiks while they were righteously purged. There is no doubt that at this point our kufr sultan shah ismail wished he had pulled himself up by his turban and become more than just a poorly disguished persian nationalist. He wished so much that he had a bomb to martyr himself, but he himself had made his islamic way of life into a jahilliyah parody of itself!

All the students applauded and accepted wahhabism as the only true version of Islam. The Prophet himself (pbuh) showed up and shed tears on how well preserved his teachings were and how there wasn't even a single person in sight named Ali or Haidar. The Quran was recited several times, and Allah himself showed up and executed Ali and every shiite kufr that ever lived.

The persian lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of poop germs in his goat and was tossed into jahannam.

Allah akbar.
P.S. Assad is a fag

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>>2212460
>mfw basque

Wow, saved by the bell!

>>2212529
This one is actually decent

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>>2213052
>LaughingFrank.jpg

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A German Catholic Priest and Jesuit was teaching a class on the ''Holy Roman Empire'', known joke.

''Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation as the greatest Empire known to man, even greater than the Imperivm Romanvm of Octavian Augustus!''

At this moment a brave, patriotic, French, philosopher and historian who had spent 1500 hours thinking up funny quips and completely understood the necessity of Enlightenment and fully supported all military decisions made by Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden stood up and held a map of central Europe.

''How many states are depicted on this map, hypocrite?''

The arrogant professor smirked quite teutonically and smugly replied ''One, the great Holy Roman Empire, you stupid frog!''

''Wrong. There's like, almost 2000 different duchies and bishoprics and counties and principalities which are, obviously, independent...if it was one empire as you say...then the principle of 'cuius regio, eius religio'...would never have come to pass!''

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the bible. He stormed out of the room crying those Hapsburg crocodile tears. The same tears inbreds cry for Charles II (whose jaw is so big he can't chew) when they jealously try to steal justly earned lands through marriage and inheritance. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Hans Müller, wished he had accepted Enlightenment and become more than the pope's castrato. He wished so much that his worldview was based on reason but he himself had rejected it!

The students applauded destroyed their copies of the Imperial Regalia. An eagle named “Rousseau” flew into the room and perched atop the Prussian Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The ''Rights of Man'' was recited several times, and Candide himself showed up and cultivated his own Garden.

The professor lost his tenure and was guillotined the next day

P.S. It wasn't Roman or Holy either

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A Vandal magister with known Arian tendencies was holding a symposium in honour of Demophilus, a known schismatic.
"Before the toasts begin, you must get on your knees and worship God and accept that he was the most divine entity the ecumene has ever known, even greater than Christus whom he created!"

At this moment, a venerable Praepositus Limitis who had served on the frontiers for decades and understood the necessity of taming the Barbaricum and fully supported the creed promulgated by the Great Constantinus rose from his couch and held up a crucifix.

"Who does this represent?"

The Rhenian cur smirked quite devilishly and smugly replied "the created child of an indivisible God"

"You miss the point. Jesus Christ our Dominus is of the same substance as God and thus equal to God."

The heretic was visibly shaken, and dropped his wine krater and copy of Eusebius' Onomastikon. He stormed out of the banquet hall crying those heretic crocodile tears. The same tears Donatists and Priscillians cry for the "poor" (who today are so holy that saints vie to kiss their feet) as they flee Roman territory to the outrage-committing Bacaudae in Armorica. There is no doubt that at this point the "learned" Vandal wished he had truly studied the work of the Holy Apostles and become more than a ludicrous teacher of rhetoric. He wished so much that he had a spatha to disembowel himself with due to the shame but he had sold all the city's arms for Gaiseric's ransom pay!

The party-goers politely clapped and all ceased their apostasy that day and accepted Jesus as the true Son of God. An divine light suddenly shone into the room and blazed upon the bust of Augustine and the statue wept miraculously. The Nicene Creed was recited, and Jesus Monogenes himself descended and banished the barbarians to the hellish wastes beyond the limes.

The magister lost his tongue and was castrated the following day. He was exiled to Troesmis, far from from God's Light.

Praise Jesus Consubstantialis

>>2213535
The reverse one with the Austrian Grenadier was funnier

>>2212460
holy kek

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>>2212529
this is the best in the whole thread
>xerxes khamenei
>mfw