Has there ever been a battle in history with zero to no

>incoming herodotus tier numbers

>>2068947
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Domažlice

>>2068947
During the siege of Grunwalder castle the Rhodoks repelled the attacking Swadians 100 to 6000 and there was only a single casualty on the Rhodok side, the commander Grunwalder for whom the castle was named. Few know this.

>>2068994
fpbp

>>2068947
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Cajamarca

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This fight literally had Henry Robert and George Pickett working together to stave off the Villainous Canadian and Eternal Anglo.

Canada lost this imo, San Juan Island a shit, Orcas much better

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_War_(1859)

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Don't harbor your ships where it'll get icy.

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>>2069029

>>2068994
Both U.S. and Canadian forces mistook each other as the Japanese and, as a result of friendly fire, 28 Americans and 4 Canadians were killed, with wounded on either side.

>A W K W A R D

>>2068994
>>2069152
hOly shit

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>>2068994
>>2069152
During Operation Cottage after Allied forces occupied Kiska Island, U.S. and Canadian forces mistook each other as Japanese and engaged each other in a deadly firefight. As a result, 28 Americans and 4 Canadians were killed with 50 more wounded. There were no Japanese troops on the island two weeks before U.S. and Canadian forces landed. Meanwhile, thinking they were engaging Americans, Imperial Japanese Navy battleships shelled and attempted to torpedo neighbouring Little Kiska Island where Japanese soldiers were waiting to embark.


>Everybody shot at their own guys...

>>2069152
>28 Americans and 4 Canadians
American tactical mastery at work

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>>2068994

In a similar debacle (albeit one that may have never happened)

>>2069168
The last bit was likely fabricated by Western media to save face

>>2069007
Bullshit. The Swadians we're patrolling the area, and Grunwalder (being the drunken bigot that he was) lost his shit and thought it was an attack, and fell off the castle wall in an effort to grab his shitty crossbow.

This Rhodok revisionism must stop.

>>2069376
>100% American causualities
>Afterward shoot worthless civilians.


Wow, really made me think

>>2069383

>100% American casualties

Lolwut?

>>2069389
There were 160 Americans, of which 58 were in logistics and the rest were in combat.

Troops disabled=

73+19=92

160-92= 68.

So the Somalis missed only 10 combat troops. Impressive for a third world army.

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>>2068947
>Has there ever been a battle in history with zero to no casualties on one side?

Battles? How about an entire WAR?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Zanzibar_War

>>2069443
wounded count as casualties

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>>2068947
this comes close

>>2069448
kek, was he even wounded by enemy?

>>2068947
countless SOF operations but you wouldn't really call them battles so much as they were raids

>>2069368
>we're
Read the rest of your post as if you were trying to RP.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes

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>>2068947
Only "battles" in which one side pussied out and surrendered

Battle of Blood River

>>2069007
>>2069368

Fun fact: Grunwalder castle was named after a forum member who faked his death, the community grieved and the devs decided to use his forum name for a castle of his favorite faction. Turns out he was still very active after his "death" in the bethesda forums.

>>2069519
Why are the Italians so unbeliavable shit at war?

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>>2068947
I have a battle each day with the wifey.
no casualties whatsoever

>>2069689
Only during WW2 faggot
Before that we wuz romanz and napoleanz n shiet

>>2069519
>>2069689
To be perfectly fair, the French had a couple forts on the other side of Menton covering them with artillery fire.
A part of the Italians losses also happened when they tried to flank Pont Saint-Louis bunker from the top of the cliff, so they were not directly caused by the bunker crew.

But yes, the Italian invasion of 1940 was a complete clusterfuck caused because Mussolini wanted to get a part of France, despite the fact that his generals told him they were absolutely not ready for war and that himself was a complete retard.

I remember a post-war interview of Caproni's son where he explained that France, which had ordered some planes, received one the very day before the invasion. Up to that day Mussolini had ensured Caproni that no war would happen, just some kind of "friendly neutrality with Germany".

>>2068947
There was a civil war in switzerland in 1847 for the duration of like 30 days. Two fractions of cantons wirh 79'000 respectively 99'000 men clashed. Like 150 men died. We were taught in school that most deaths were accidents, since the soldiers pretty much shot over each others heads since they did'nt want to kill each other

>>2069022
>mfw Louis Lahure is my direct ancestor.
Feels good.

>>2069451
man this one always cracks me up

>King of Aragon is loyal Cathar follower
>I aint gonna let the Cathar people suffer in france
>mobilizes his entire army and vassals
>Most of france really didn't give a shit as they where occupied with more pressing matters
>Pope manages to only mobilize a handful of crusaders and some french troops who are send mainly to 'show support'
>King of aragon is like "ayy this one is in the bag"
>"Men I am one of you, I'll lead the charge"
>Takes of his royal garbs and charges in despite advice of not doing so
>Falls of of his horse and is wounded, begins desperatly shouting "I am the king, I am the king" in order to not get killed
>Get's killed
>Rest of the troops release there leader just got fucking wrecked and routs

>>2069029
>Presumably
We will never know

>>2069726

didn't Mussolini himself tell Hitler he wasn't ready to start war?

>>2069818
Dude id cut off my dick to be able to go back in time and just watch all this shit happen like it were a movie fug

>>2069505
sun stroke

>>2069168
>torpedo an island

>>2069007
>Muh crossbows
nothing can stop a swadian

>>2069519
the fuck was that, premium players vs poorfags?
i'm going to read about it but i'm calling bullshit to a less than a dozen men causing around 800 casualities... unless they blew up a magazine or something

>>2069152
>>2069168
Fucking redditfags not knowing what the greentext is for, I swear...

>>2069182
Western culture doesn't have "face" dumbass, and it's from Japanese sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiro_Kawase
>Assisted by the weather and the American confusion that resulted in the Battle of the Pips, Kawase and Kimura completed Operation KE-GO without firing a shot – except when [the light cruiser] Abukuma fired a spread of four torpedoes at Little Kiska Island on 26 July in the mistaken belief that it was an enemy ship

The "Battle of the pips" was where the USS Mississippi and USS Idaho fired around 500 14 inch shells at radar contacts that were likely flocks of migratory petrels.

Perhaps close to qualifying.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Montgomery%27s_Tavern
>British loyalist colonel fires pistol at roadblock, gets shot for his trouble
>Canadian rebels in ranks think the first rank all got shot when they drop to the ground to reload and all run away in terror
>couple days later all the rebels (most of them unarmed) are at a tavern, another loyalist colonel fires a cannon at it and everybody flees, the loyalist troops loot the tavern and burn it down

>>2069022
>de Winter
Is this a joke?

>>2071526
He was of Dutch origin
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Willem_de_Winter

Unfortunately general de Winter died in June 1812 shortly before Napoleon invaded Russia
Had the French counted him among their ranks during the Russian campaign they'd definitly have won

>>2068994
>>2069152
Didn't know Canadians were already an Asian colony by then.

>>2071504

Western culture absolutely DOES have face, not to the formalised extreme the Japs take it but the concept of "shame" and "ridicule" proves that Westerners DO value "face".

>>2070705
It's what happens when you launch a full frontal attack on a strong defensive position. Think Charge of the Light Brigade, minus the façade of heroism.

How about operation tiger.

>>2068947
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Eland
>killed 1028, lost none

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Dingo
>killed over 3000, lost two

The Rhodesians were badass.

>>2072185
>The Rhodesians were badass.
These are probably the saddest excuse for 'battles' I have ever read.

Dingo is just sad.

>>2069168
nobody mistook shit, we came for a fight but the coward nips ran so we decide to just shoot each other

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This one gets close.

About as close as I can find, and an actual pitched battle too. Admittedly, it's pitting some of the most and least technologically advanced people together.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Blood_River

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>>2072274
Pic related.

>>2068947
what a rare lindy

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>>2068947
Spanish-American War

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Eland
Pretty damn closr

>>2069007
Bannerlord when?

>>2072230
Wew

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>>2069694
>Only during WW2 faggot

>>2069689
the 4chan-tier answer you want: because their genetic inferiority makes them no better than dumb animals who are only begging to be killed as such.

the real answer: Italy doesn't have much in terms of an industrial economy or a plethora of natural resources. with key items such as oil, copper, and aluminum was largely absent in Italy's empire, forcing them to rely on British imports for oil and steel.

World War I was a better theatre for Italy because all that was required was rifles, artillery, and men focused on one mountainous front. which Italy had such equipment that was on par with any of the great powers.

In world war II, with deserts in North Africa and the expanse of the Mediterranean, Italy couldn't keep up production to supply the amount of warships, tanks, and supplies needed to produce on the scale of the British Empire in Africa/Mediterranean.

With tanks and planes that were at best average during the Interwar years, Italy couldn't spare resources to develop new weapons to counter emerging threats like the Germans attempted with their Tiger program, leaving Italy stuck with 1935 equipment in small numbers and no ability to improve their arsenal with such a small industrial base.

they were simply unable to compete with economic titans in a global war with the resources they had, simple as that.

>>2074953
Love the 4chan tier answer.

>>2068947
In a Bill Bryson book he mentions a group of 22 soldiers from Luxembourg going off to fight and coming back with 23 men because they made a friend along the way.

>>2068994


I bet fucking leafs thought it would be a good idea to dress themselves as nips to troll americans.

>>2074953
>World War I was a better theatre for Italy because all that was required was rifles, artillery, and men focused on one mountainous front. which Italy had such equipment that was on par with any of the great powers.
>>2074901
???

>>2075367
if you look more in depth, the Isonzo river was A-H's most defended choke point as it was a bottleneck route to Trieste, so Austria-Hungary obviously concentrated all their defense there, as to defend their only major port.

as a sidenote, Italy won the battles of the Isonzo, so using that meme as an example of abject failure is a bit muted.

Everywhere else along the Italian front, such as Monte Grappa and the Dolomites mountain range, the Austrians were getting their ass handed to them, with the Italian Alpini in particular earning a reputation as a feared fighting force among Austrian forces.

>>2075470
> Italy won the battles of the Isonzo, so using that meme as an example of abject failure is a bit muted.

A victory with a huge cost, a cost that shouldnt have been considering the porr state of the A-H military by that point and the fact that Italy declaration of war was unexpected and basically a backstab. By all means they should have won the Isonzo quickly and without so many casualties, in the end they won only because of atrittion. Had the A-H military not been been so depleted of manpower, resorces and foods the Italians would have probably lost.
Its a like a healthy man beating up a starved half dead hobbo and calling it a glorious victory.

>>2074953
Wow get outta here with your detailed and thorought explanation, I came here to laugh at 14y/o-tier jokes
>>2075367
This is a matter of utter incompetence on the Supreme Command's side. Cadorna relied on napoleonic era tactics, and didnt bother to adapt to the necessities of fighting a trench war, hence the repeated and suicidal attacks on mountainous, fortified positions held by artillery. Moreover, he enforced a byzantine discipline and rigor: officers were COMMANDED to shoot in place any soldier that didnt comply to every single order. This was enforced so extensively that had the opposite result on the troops: instead of raising discipline, it trashed the morale, leading to desertions, suicides and poor performance.
Only when the Supreme Command decided to replace Cadorna with Diaz, things started to change, and victories were had. Dont get me wrong, Diaz was for many aspects very similar to Cadorna, but at least he wasnt completely retarded.
So yeah, there's your explanation.

>>2075688
9gag-tier geopolitical reading. Almost as pathetic as those "if hitler had more X he would have won" threads. Italy was bought by uk and france, the price was good and the opportunity was ripe, what would you do in that position?

Not sure if it counts, but

>1917
>Seskarö, Sweden
>Hunger riots
>Two infantry companies and one machine gun company are sent to put an end to the rioting
>The soldiers and rioting workers fire upon eachother
>Before anyone gets injured, someone reportedly says "but, we can't just shoot at eachother"
>Everyone agrees, and the situation is solved peacefully.

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>>2075927

>>2075927
Pfft
Typical cucks

Shinkansen

>>2075927
Can I get a sauce on this?

>>2068947
best I know was pretty much everything admiral yi did
0 ships lost, outnumbered up to 10 to 1

>>2069152

Superior Canuck marksmanship clearly.

>>2069029
That shit better have been tomato soup

>>2072230
>decisive victory
every time i have those numbers in empire tw it's a heroic victory tho

>>2074901
and people wonder why Mario is more famous

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Wasn't there some Irish battle spammed around to trigger norseboos?
I don't remember the name or figures, but I remember it was basically:

>A HUGE army of norse fuckers from dublin attacks a tiny army of irish guys
>The Irish guys sit on a hill and pelt them with spears and shit every time they come near them
>This lasts for ages
>Norse army eventually gets destroyed and runs off, bogniggers have a giggle
>A bigger Irish army from the south comes up and removes vikings later on

>>2076462
could be the battle of tara but not sure

>>2076395
Don't think there is one in english

>>2069029
>(and presumably the soup within)
too funny

>>2069689
Italians are lovers, not fighters

>>2078147
That's a shame

pretty neat anecdote though

>>2069659
beautiful

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Battle of Manila bay Spain btfo. Only American death was heatstroke from raping Spanish Fleet too hard.

>>2069519
Italian "army"

>>2073635
wtf i'm proud to be an ohioan now

Perfect military record, bitches

>>2074901
Luigi "I shall not stop until the ground is full of dead wops" Cadorna