What's the oldest recorded "Yo momma" crack? I

Yo momma is so old that she knows the answer to this.

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There are a lot, but Sparta's trash talking is god-tier. They were literally trained from birth to speak in badass one-liners when the situation called for it.

>>2033215
Any examples?

>>2033243
http://www.ancientgreekbattles.net/Pages/47931_Spartaquotes.htm
Also basically all the good 300 lines about dining in hell and fighting in the shade, etc weren't made up.

>>2032933
>>2032933
There's one in Titus Andronicus (first performed 1594), and that's the earliest written one I know of. Then again, I'm pretty sure they were well established before then

Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother

Aaron: Villian, I have done thy mother

>>2033215
>>2033271

I was specifically asking for your mother stuff, not necessarily good comebacks.

>>2033294
>Aaron: Villian, I have done thy mother
dis nigga has got 2 go

>>2033294
>>2033316
ffs *villain. I'm tired

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I've always loved this exchange:

Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks:

As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians - I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

--Turkish Sultan Mehmed IV

The Cossacks' reply came as a stream of invective and vulgar rhymes, parodying the Sultan's titles:

Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shallt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.

Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

- Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.

>>2033387
based

It's been around for ever but usually as a grave and serious insult.

Only in recent years in the west has it become an acceptable joke, say it to someone from a more traditional culture and they'll probably try to kill you.

>>2033387
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD_imYhNoQ4

>>2033271
I>n making your escape, where is it your going to? Do you plan to creep back in here where you emerged from?
>Opening her robe to expose her virgina, a mother confronts her son who had fled from a battle.

Getting rekt by your own mother

>>2033686
Spartan women don't fuck around.

>>2032933
The first recorded joke was literally something along the lines of "the woman farted" probably worded a bit differently, in another language

>>2035306
Sumerians really liked fart jokes, also talking shit about foxes.

what if we don't realize the first joke ever recorded is even a joke cause we don't think it's funny?

>>2035359
Nah. It might not be immediately obvious or funny to us but it's always recognizable upon further inspection.

>>2032933
Yo mama's so dumb that OP inherited it.