Satan is the most based character in the Bible, I wish I could

Don't cut yourself with that edge.

>>2024809
Mooooods this isn't historical

I live to serve Satan.

Why is Satan interested in bargaining for souls anyway? How is he powerful enough to give someone anything in exchange for one? How did he overestimate his own fiddle-playing abilities?

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>>2024809

>>2024809
I wish underage faggots would just leave

>>2024809

t. Satan

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>>2025544
>mfw Satan's attempt of revolution against dictator god has failed

>>2025544
satanism is the final red pill; when you realize he was actually the good guy all along and rubbish like this is just disinfo and shilling

>>2024809
>Literally self admitted beta when compared to god in terms of strength, wisdom, and ability to create.
Why would you pledge yourself to the dude who comes in Second EVERY TIME

>>2025554
> " >mfw Satan's attempt of revolution against dictator god has failed"
>"tumblr.jpg"
And no one was surprised

wtf i love Satan now

>>2025544
None of that is canon.

>>2025633
Tumblr is a bastion for Christfags what are you talking about.

>>2024809
nice try Satan

>>2025544
Nice collection of medieval Christian memes. None of that is actually in the bible.

>>2026029
bait? all of that is based in the bible.

>>2024809
Satan isn't in the Bible, at all.

>>2026101
He's in Job, but not in that form.

>>2026049
Based ON* the Bible.

It's fanfiction.

>>2025544
1. It was Dragon from Apocalypse that had 3rd part of Angels follow him.
2. Snake =/= Satan. Snake became Dragon from Apocalypse.Satan is character in story of Job, whose job is to test resolve in faith of faithful.
3. The actual stan's job was to test people. See: Job. Satan tempting Jesus on the desert fits in his job description.
4. Biblical-based fanfiction. He's not ever implied to be father of lies or of anything.

Also, Satan's kill count in the entire Bible is just Job's kids, employees, and cattle. Nothing compared to God's own score.

>>2026279
God never killed anyone. You will suffer in hell for such blasphemy, fedoracuck.

>>2024814
My parents said, he invented Blues, Rock&Roll, and Metal.

How the fuck is he not historical?
How the fuck is he not the greatest person ever?

>>2025554
Perfect example of "History is written by the winner" and "vae victis"

>>2026282
Obliterated two cities?

>>2026315
They deserved it, doesn't counts.

>>2026282
expect all Egyptian firstborn of that time

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Satan stop posting here no one is going to sell their soul to you.

Go to /x/ they'd give their souls to a fucking used car dealer.

what will satan do to you in hell

>>2026319
Murdered 42 kids with bears for making fun of a dude's baldness.

>>2025544
Isn't it your moral duty to rebel against wicked king even if the rebelion was doomed?

>>2024814
this is not any worse than all the other "high level discourse" religion circlejerk/islamhate shitfests

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>>2024809
>Gets created by god as an angel
>Daddy gives me thumbs up im so happy
>Daddy creates ugly weak human that act bad
>Daddy forgives em
>Throw a hissy fit rebellion in heaven to be daddys number 1 again
>Daddy kicks me out and blames all worlds evils on me
>Take out my angst on humans
y-yeah, real based