ITT: unexpected life lessons you learned from history I've

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Anonymous
2016-10-02 05:29:34 Post No. 1768018
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 05:29:34 Post No. 1768018 [Report]

ITT: unexpected life lessons you learned from history

I've had chronic indigestion, but when reading about Charles V I learned that his deformed jaw prevented him from properly chewing his food and gave him digestion problems.

I chew my food better now and I can digest just fine. Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-02 05:31:02 Post No.1768022
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 05:31:02 Post No.1768022 [Report]

>>1768018
Holy shit I'm going to try this
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-02 05:55:16 Post No.1768044
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 05:55:16 Post No.1768044 [Report]

Hitler tried doing two things at once, and it did not work. Thats why I never see my girlfriends at the same time.

Anonymous 2016-10-02 06:19:42 Post No.1768089
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 06:19:42 Post No.1768089 [Report]

>>1768018
Charles V taught me that when barons are increasing in power, it's not a good idea to persecute a beloved religious reformer.
But seriously, Charlie V was a solid dude and taught me even the best people can overexert themselves, so it's a good idea to relax when it's prudent.

Anonymous 2016-10-02 12:28:09 Post No.1768846
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 12:28:09 Post No.1768846 [Report]

>>1768018
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-02 12:40:36 Post No.1768867
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 12:40:36 Post No.1768867 [Report]

>>1768018

Henry VIII taught me that being fat and gross will cause your wives heads to fall off, so I've carefully avoided women my whole life! Thanks, Henry!

Anonymous 2016-10-02 12:45:29 Post No.1768879
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 12:45:29 Post No.1768879 [Report]

>>1768044
>Hitler tried doing two things at once, and it did not work. Thats why I never see my girlfriends at the same time.
While the Soviet Union is thinking I'm fighting the Brits and the Brits are thinking I'm fighting the Soviets, I'm actually home alone drawing paintings.

Anonymous 2016-10-02 18:25:55 Post No.1769868
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 18:25:55 Post No.1769868 [Report]

>>1768018
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-02 18:29:02 Post No.1769878
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 18:29:02 Post No.1769878 [Report]

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>>1768018
push yourself hard enough and you can achieve anything

Anonymous 2016-10-02 19:14:32 Post No.1770031
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 19:14:32 Post No.1770031 [Report]

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Marie taught me that giving cake to the peasants lead to way too many beheadings and driving your country to shit

So now I eat the whole cake alone.

Anonymous 2016-10-02 19:41:55 Post No.1770155
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 19:41:55 Post No.1770155 [Report]

>>1768018
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-02 19:47:43 Post No.1770181
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 19:47:43 Post No.1770181 [Report]

>>1768018

I'll try this. Hope it works. Thanks anyway though, Charlie.

Anonymous 2016-10-02 20:03:25 Post No.1770252
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 20:03:25 Post No.1770252 [Report]

>>1769878
>waste dads money on conquests
>cause a riot an de massacre 30k people
>when riot starts you start packing but then your wife tells you to stay
>when you down empire is over extended and broke as shit and Constantinople is filled with diseases
>instead of attacking Persians or arabs when you have the upper hand you attack shitty Germans for Muh feels

Can we stop this meme that he was a good emperor ?

Anonymous 2016-10-02 20:29:54 Post No.1770384
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 20:29:54 Post No.1770384 [Report]

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>>1768018
>Removed Kebab
>Removed Protestants
>Removed Indios
>Cucked France
>Gives health advice

Is there an emperor as based as Charles V?

Anonymous 2016-10-02 21:12:37 Post No.1770547
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 21:12:37 Post No.1770547 [Report]

>>1770384
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-02 23:13:04 Post No.1770990
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 23:13:04 Post No.1770990 [Report]

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Italian Renaissance sculptors showed that marble can look like silk, so now I wear suits made of marble. Thanks, Bernini!

Anonymous 2016-10-02 23:17:42 Post No.1771006
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 23:17:42 Post No.1771006 [Report]

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>>1768018
Based Charles V still helping from the sky those willing to listen in the 21th century.

Anonymous 2016-10-02 23:19:47 Post No.1771014
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 23:19:47 Post No.1771014 [Report]

>>1768018
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-02 23:33:55 Post No.1771072
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Anonymous 2016-10-02 23:33:55 Post No.1771072 [Report]

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>>1770990
T-thanks, Bernini...

Anonymous 2016-10-03 02:42:42 Post No.1771643
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Anonymous 2016-10-03 02:42:42 Post No.1771643 [Report]

>>1768018
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:34:12 Post No.1773269
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Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:34:12 Post No.1773269 [Report]

Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:38:28 Post No.1773288
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Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:38:28 Post No.1773288 [Report]

I don't get why he has the reputation of being inbreed. His parents were not close relatives.

Inbreedness was mostly a problem for later generations of Habsburgs.

Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:38:47 Post No.1773291
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Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:38:47 Post No.1773291 [Report]

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fuck charles v, Bismarck showed me that germania must be groß

Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:40:05 Post No.1773299
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Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:40:05 Post No.1773299 [Report]

>>1769878
>implying

FOXE (ID: !!2rslAUKg/1u) 2016-10-03 15:40:16 Post No.1773300
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FOXE (ID: !!2rslAUKg/1u) 2016-10-03 15:40:16 Post No.1773300 [Report]

>>1773291
>must be groß
>makes a kliendeutsche state

FOXE (ID: !!2rslAUKg/1u) 2016-10-03 15:40:42 Post No.1773302
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FOXE (ID: !!2rslAUKg/1u) 2016-10-03 15:40:42 Post No.1773302 [Report]

Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:44:30 Post No.1773317
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Anonymous 2016-10-03 15:44:30 Post No.1773317 [Report]

>>1773288
It's probably just because of the habsburg jaw

Anonymous 2016-10-03 20:08:45 Post No.1774294
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Anonymous 2016-10-03 20:08:45 Post No.1774294 [Report]

You have been visited by Charles V

Properly chewed food and good digestion will come to you only if you post "Thanks Charles V!" in this thread.

Anonymous 2016-10-03 21:02:43 Post No.1774477
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Anonymous 2016-10-03 21:02:43 Post No.1774477 [Report]

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>>1768018
Inbreeding is bad, 'mkay

Anonymous 2016-10-04 02:51:51 Post No.1775725
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 02:51:51 Post No.1775725 [Report]

>>1774477
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 03:33:28 Post No.1775881
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 03:33:28 Post No.1775881 [Report]

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>>1774294

Anonymous 2016-10-04 03:36:52 Post No.1775894
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 03:36:52 Post No.1775894 [Report]

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Stand for what you believe in

Even if you stand alone

Anonymous 2016-10-04 03:50:40 Post No.1775946
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 03:50:40 Post No.1775946 [Report]

Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 05:30:03 Post No.1776189
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 05:30:03 Post No.1776189 [Report]

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>>1768018
>not all sex is good

http://www.novelok.com/essential-writings-machiavelli?page=0,280
http://www.novelok.com/essential-writings-machiavelli?page=0,281

Anonymous 2016-10-04 05:31:54 Post No.1776193
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 05:31:54 Post No.1776193 [Report]

Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 10:35:10 Post No.1776637
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 10:35:10 Post No.1776637 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 10:54:51 Post No.1776686
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 10:54:51 Post No.1776686 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:26:01 Post No.1777331
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:26:01 Post No.1777331 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charlie 5!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:27:16 Post No.1777337
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:27:16 Post No.1777337 [Report]

Gracias Carlos I de España y V del Sacro Imperio Romano Germánico.

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:28:24 Post No.1777342
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:28:24 Post No.1777342 [Report]

>>1774294
>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:30:29 Post No.1777350
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:30:29 Post No.1777350 [Report]

>>1777337
Are you God?

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:31:37 Post No.1777354
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:31:37 Post No.1777354 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:35:07 Post No.1777368
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:35:07 Post No.1777368 [Report]

>>1777350
¿Por qué?

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:40:27 Post No.1777385
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:40:27 Post No.1777385 [Report]

>>1770252
This

The law code was based, but overall he crippled the empire with his vanity conquests.

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:45:12 Post No.1777403
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:45:12 Post No.1777403 [Report]

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>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:51:06 Post No.1777427
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:51:06 Post No.1777427 [Report]

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>>1776189

Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:58:55 Post No.1777449
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 15:58:55 Post No.1777449 [Report]

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>>1777368
Based Charles V made me learn that God speaks spanish.

Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:02:51 Post No.1777462
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:02:51 Post No.1777462 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:06:51 Post No.1777469
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:06:51 Post No.1777469 [Report]

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>>1770990
>tfw no marble gf

>>1775881
Gracias mi emperador.

>>1776189
What the fug.

>tfw you just read a 16th century greentext

Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:13:52 Post No.1777480
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:13:52 Post No.1777480 [Report]

>>1777449
How many languages did he speak? He just seems like a joker.

Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:19:26 Post No.1777492
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:19:26 Post No.1777492 [Report]

>>1777480
It was perfectly normal for a noblemen of that era to learn many languages, and specially for a man that ruled such a multicultural empire BUT had no absolutist power and needed to have a somewhat personal relationship with his vassals.

He was born in the netherlands, became king of Spain at the age of 16 and emperor when he was 19. French was the language of diplomacy, italian the language of poetry, literature and art in general (not to mention his multiple possesions on Italy). It's not surprizing that he was able to speak spanish, german, french, italian. Probably flemish/dutch or the equivalent of the time too, and latin.

Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:21:25 Post No.1777499
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:21:25 Post No.1777499 [Report]

>>1777492
I wonder if he spoke English. Though I doubt anyone on the continent bothered to learn English back then.

Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:27:08 Post No.1777523
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:27:08 Post No.1777523 [Report]

>>1777499
I don't know, but he probably didn't. His son Philip II might have spoken some english though, since he was king consort of England for four years.

Ironically Charles allied England (albeit reluctantly) while Philip invaded it.

Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:35:09 Post No.1777545
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 16:35:09 Post No.1777545 [Report]

>>1775881
Gracias Carlos Quinto!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:01:18 Post No.1777625
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:01:18 Post No.1777625 [Report]

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>>1777545

You made me remember we have had this in Mexico for decades.

Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:06:10 Post No.1777644
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:06:10 Post No.1777644 [Report]

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>>1777625

It has changed through the decades but they can never get the emperor completely right.

Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:06:46 Post No.1777646
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:06:46 Post No.1777646 [Report]

>>1777625
Carlos V brought chocolate to Europe.

Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:08:51 Post No.1777655
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:08:51 Post No.1777655 [Report]

>>1777646
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:13:54 Post No.1777677
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:13:54 Post No.1777677 [Report]

>>1775881
Gracias Señor Cinco.

Anonymous ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 2016-10-04 17:18:14 Post No.1777686
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Anonymous ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 2016-10-04 17:18:14 Post No.1777686 [Report]

>>1777625
>>1777644
Nestlé changed the recipe

Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:20:59 Post No.1777690
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:20:59 Post No.1777690 [Report]

>>1770252
He couldn't attack the Persians because they were stronger. The Riots were completly justified as they had no reason to rebel. Constantinople crippling cause of disaeses is literally out of his control, the only thing he shouldnt have done was waste so much money for conquests

Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:21:04 Post No.1777691
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:21:04 Post No.1777691 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles, by the grace of God, Holy Roman Emperor, forever August, King of Germany, King of Italy, King of all Spains, of Castile, Aragon, León, of Hungary, of Dalmatia, of Croatia, Navarra, Grenada, Toledo, Valencia, Galicia, Majorca, Sevilla, Cordova, Murcia, Jaén, Algarves, Algeciras, Gibraltar, the Canary Islands, King of Two Sicilies, of Sardinia, Corsica, King of Jerusalem, King of the Western and Eastern Indies, of the Islands and Mainland of the Ocean Sea, Archduke of Austria, Duke of Burgundy, Brabant, Lorraine, Styria, Carinthia, Carniola, Limburg, Luxembourg, Gelderland, Neopatria, Württemberg, Landgrave of Alsace, Prince of Swabia, Asturia and Catalonia, Count of Flanders, Habsburg, Tyrol, Gorizia, Barcelona, Artois, Burgundy Palatine, Hainaut, Holland, Seeland, Ferrette, Kyburg, Namur, Roussillon, Cerdagne, Drenthe, Zutphen, Margrave of the Holy Roman Empire, Burgau, Oristano and Gociano, Lord of Frisia, the Wendish March, Pordenone, Biscay, Molin, Salins, Tripoli and Mechelen!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:30:39 Post No.1777722
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 17:30:39 Post No.1777722 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-04 22:02:58 Post No.1779053
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Anonymous 2016-10-04 22:02:58 Post No.1779053 [Report]

Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 00:58:18 Post No.1779927
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 00:58:18 Post No.1779927 [Report]

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Thanks for growing a beard Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 01:16:43 Post No.1779983
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 01:16:43 Post No.1779983 [Report]

>>1768018
Never ever ever EVER trust an Englishman, they're basically white Jews.

Anonymous 2016-10-05 01:37:10 Post No.1780052
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 01:37:10 Post No.1780052 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 01:48:02 Post No.1780112
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 01:48:02 Post No.1780112 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 01:52:24 Post No.1780135
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 01:52:24 Post No.1780135 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 02:32:04 Post No.1780275
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 02:32:04 Post No.1780275 [Report]

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>>1770384
[spoiler]Phillip II[/spoiler]

Anonymous 2016-10-05 13:55:55 Post No.1781823
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 13:55:55 Post No.1781823 [Report]

>>1779927
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 14:53:16 Post No.1781988
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 14:53:16 Post No.1781988 [Report]

>>1780275
Well, Phillip II cucked the portuguese (and moderately cucked the ottomans in Lepanto) BUT, I don't think he gave any health advice, and Charles was better at cucking France, completely sorrounding them with the
>
>
>
and capturing Francis I.

I guess there isn't an objective answer to my question.

Anonymous 2016-10-05 16:54:19 Post No.1782510
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 16:54:19 Post No.1782510 [Report]

>>1779983
You can trust them so long as you're Portuguese and not trying to colonise Africa.

Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:03:10 Post No.1782540
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:03:10 Post No.1782540 [Report]

>>1781988
Tbqh Francis was also based. It was a time of based monarchs.

Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:30:02 Post No.1782635
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:30:02 Post No.1782635 [Report]

>>1775881
Danke, Karl V.

Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:33:29 Post No.1782649
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:33:29 Post No.1782649 [Report]

>>1782510
Portuguese were their closest allies, so they completely fucked them over only several times.

Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:44:32 Post No.1782714
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:44:32 Post No.1782714 [Report]

>>1768018
>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:47:09 Post No.1782731
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 17:47:09 Post No.1782731 [Report]

>>1782649
I still think it's amusing that an alliance with England of all nations manages to be the oldest still around.

Anonymous 2016-10-05 18:53:34 Post No.1783044
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 18:53:34 Post No.1783044 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 19:20:29 Post No.1783163
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 19:20:29 Post No.1783163 [Report]

>>1775881
Merci Charles Quint!!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 19:39:37 Post No.1783212
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 19:39:37 Post No.1783212 [Report]

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>>1782731

Anonymous 2016-10-05 19:48:53 Post No.1783247
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 19:48:53 Post No.1783247 [Report]

>>1775881
As someone with a Habsburg jaw, I thank you Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 20:04:01 Post No.1783306
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 20:04:01 Post No.1783306 [Report]

>>1782540
Good Times

Anonymous 2016-10-05 20:25:15 Post No.1783394
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 20:25:15 Post No.1783394 [Report]

>>1774294
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 20:26:02 Post No.1783397
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 20:26:02 Post No.1783397 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 20:37:36 Post No.1783439
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 20:37:36 Post No.1783439 [Report]

>>1775881
Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-05 23:11:03 Post No.1784074
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Anonymous 2016-10-05 23:11:03 Post No.1784074 [Report]

Not being good at something doesn't mean you can't succeed. You just need to speak the language, and hopefully know what your limits are.
This is like every shitty emperor ever

Anonymous 2016-10-06 03:32:11 Post No.1784912
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Anonymous 2016-10-06 03:32:11 Post No.1784912 [Report]

Thanks Charles V!

Anonymous 2016-10-06 08:44:55 Post No.1785800
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Anonymous 2016-10-06 08:44:55 Post No.1785800 [Report]

>>1768018
Emperor Michael III taught me to keep friends for the sake of friendship and NEVER rely on them for work or money or help.

Bismarck taught me to always know your strengths, and judge situations by what they will cost you.

>>1770031
This is a misattribution. She actually said "Let them eat cock!"

Anonymous 2016-10-06 09:11:58 Post No.1785858
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Anonymous 2016-10-06 09:11:58 Post No.1785858 [Report]

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>>1769878
>marrying a literal whore who guzzled the cum of 10,000 men
He was a cuck.

Anonymous 2016-10-06 10:16:51 Post No.1785964
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Anonymous 2016-10-06 10:16:51 Post No.1785964 [Report]

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Enver pasha taught me that genocide aent real and that we should respect our ethnic minority

Anonymous 2016-10-06 10:27:55 Post No.1785988
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Anonymous 2016-10-06 10:27:55 Post No.1785988 [Report]

>>1768044
based

Anonymous 2016-10-06 10:53:18 Post No.1786061
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Anonymous 2016-10-06 10:53:18 Post No.1786061 [Report]

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>>1770031
>still believing the propaganda that HRH Marie-Atoinette said "let them eat cake"
>being on here
GTFO revolutionary scum REEEEEEEEEEE

Anonymous 2016-10-06 10:58:29 Post No.1786070
[Report]

Anonymous 2016-10-06 10:58:29 Post No.1786070 [Report]

>>1774477
>habsburg fucking shits

I think I'm gonna throw up

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible. Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/