That, six bullets, one time machine. What's the plan, /his/?

>>1657965
shoot my 6 unconsented childrens mothers in the head at conception

>>1657965
Darwin's done more damage than Marx.

>>1657986
Killing Darwin just makes it so someone else figures out evolution.

>>1657986
don't you believe in evolution, fatso?

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>i want to go back in time and shoot X for disagreeing with me

Epitome of autism.

>>1657965
there´s still Engels and you would accomplish nothing

>>1658015
>wanting to save hundreds of millions of lives is autistic
Hey Coldsteel

Shoot Hegel instead, then you don't have to bother with Marx.

>>1658025
>implying millions of people wouldn't die for some other reason
>ignore the billions of preventable deaths from disease and war becuase muh commies

And here i thought socialists were retarded with their wishful thinking.

>>1657965
Forget killing six historical villains, who would you kill just to make things interesting?

>Franz Ferdinand
If I kill him in his home where they have no clue who did it, what would they conclude? Would the first world war still break out over something else?

>Adolf Hitler in 1940
Who would he have appointed by now? If a general took over, would there be fewer stupid mistakes on the Nazis part? Would they win?

>James Earl Ray
Mainly because I want to see what MLK would have to say about modern race relations.

That's all I can think of now.

>>1658039
>thinks you can stop disease with a revolver
Leaving aside the moral cowardice of your argument (do nothing because reasons) how exactly is a man armed with a Colt Single Action going to stop all disease?

>>1658056
Kill the patient zeroes.

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>>1658061
shieeettt

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>>1658032
Mein Nigga

>>1657965
You forgot Engels retard, and most of the other socialists and anarchists

>>1657965
Shoot Karl Marx, whatever dickweed, I dunno.. prophet Muhammad fellow, George Washington, Maggie Thatcher and finally Oliver Cromwell.

>the 6 people responsible for ending monarchy

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I'd travel to January, 1942 and shoot;

>Stalin
>Hitler
>Hirohito
>Churchill
>Roosevelt
>Monty

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>>1658515
>Monty
aw
i liked monty
fuck churchill though, I don't understand why he gets so much credit. He did autistic stuff like gallipoli, or advocating the use of machine-guns as a means of stopping striking miners

>>1658051
With Franz Ferdinand dead the AH empire will definatly go to war.
He was the main proponent for peace in the empire. With his death the AH empire would have had a war over something else.

>>1658018
>>1658104
>Engels
That manlet wouldn't have been able to achieve what Marx did. Every leftie drools over Marx. Most of them don't know who Engels is. Marx was a sharper writer and his work had more appeal

Hitler, Sokal, Bricmont, Reagan, Thatcher, Bush Jr

>>1658578
He had a better beard than marx tho

>>1658592
Undeniably true

>>1658592
>Moses
>Jesus
>Jesus 3 days later
>Mohhamed
>Budha
>Confucius

>>1658607
Are you listing people with better beards than Marx?

>>1658578
he did pay Marx rent and groceries though

>>1658615
I misquoted but at least some of them must have had better beards.

>>1657965

Kill moot

>>1657965
give it to the romans and tell them to make more

Hillary 8 years ago
Osama bin Laden in 1998
Marx
Mohammed

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>>1657965
Your mother and father, three bullets each so you wouldn't shit up this board further with threads like this.

>>1658676
Edgy. Go make some other thread then you crying bitch

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>>1658756
>calling others edgy
>when the thread is about killing people in the past who disagreed with you

pssh... nothing personal kid

>>1657965
I'd shoot any of the people involved in the start of x religion

>>1658787
The fact you seem to think you have an inherent right to police an anonymous internet board is quite telling. Instead of merely ignoring the thread, or using the hide function, you chose to come here and cry about your offended sensibilities. You tried to dress it up but all you achieved there was to come off as an edgy pre-teen.

I assume this pathetic sort of behaviour is something you come across quite a bit in your internet browsing as you seem to think it is normal to try an appear as a janitor.

This isn't your home reddit. Crying about things you dislike won't make them go away. Trying to hide being butthurt behibd edginess won't work. Aspiring to being staff gets you rightly laughed at.

Tl;dr - Go back 2 reddit

>>1657965
It goes deeper than Marx. I'd probably kill Hegel.

The first 6 Roman Emperors. I will make them understand, its republicanism or death.

>>1659054
>being this mad

I wouldn't shoot anyone since there would be a chance i would not be born if they never did what they did.

Especially Hitler, if it wasn't for the War most of our Grandparents and parents would never have met.

>>1659173
He's right. Fuck off to ribbet.

>>1658515

This

>>1657965

Marx
Hitler
Stalin
Osama Bin Laden
George W. Bush
Lee Harvey Oswald

>>1657965
>le epic /pol/ bait

>>1659173
You got rekt

No need for a time machine OP. All six will fit nicely in your skull and mine.

>>1659054
It sounds more like you can't handle the banter, no matter how shitty of banter it is. You either stand for 4chan culture or you don't. It has nothing to do with political leanings.

Go back to /r/The_Donald. I'm almost positive 4chan has seen an uptick in activity ever since that fucking place was spawned. All you fucking plebbitors need to go back, including the /pol/ band-wagoners.

>>1658056
There's a pretty extensive literature on how to control spreading processes on networks by removing nodes

>>1658061
Patients zero, surely

Shoot the time machine five times, then shoot myself in the head

If you answer any differently you should FUCK OFF back to r/4chan.

>>1659054
>Aspiring to being staff gets you rightly laughed at.

Boy does it, No. 1659054

>>1659357
>you can't handle the banter
>redditor cries on thread because it offends him

>>>/r/eddit

>>1659357
Since when is aspiring to be a fucking janny 4chan culture you mongolian? I guarantee you you started browsing this board in 2013-14.

>>1657965
Bullet 1: June 17 1462, Mehmed II's head.

Bullet 2 - 6: Any Ottoman Sultan who gains the throne for more than a year.

>>1657965
Travel a few hundred years into the future, sell gun as a priceless antique and live a life of luxury with better tech than we have now.

>>1658051
>thinking killing JER would keep MLK alive
youd need enough bullets to take out the entire CIA anon

>>1659477
Kek. Now this guy is fucking thinking

>>1657965
I would shoot the one person I would ever want to kill
myself

>>1659357
Nice try redditor. Claiming you stand for 4chan culture? You wouldn't know what that was if it kicked you in your cunt. Nothing to do with politics then whinge about /pol/ out of nowhere?

I might not agree with /pol/ about basically anything but they do one thing well - trigger reddit plebs

>>1659445
>>1659369
>>1659357
>>1659181
>>1659054

When the fuck will this red scare end?

>>1659497
>being a retard to """trigger""" """"redditors""""
>ha that's what 4chan's all about

>>1659503
Yes 4chan is well known for its high quality intellectual debate and discussion. We're so lucky to have such a well behaved, highly educated userbase.

Go back to rëddit

>>1658051
Pope Leo I before his meeting with Attila
>inb4 Attila had x, y, z reason for turning away anyways

>>1659501
I propose a Final Solution to the redditor question

>>1659181
>>1659305
Not even that person, retards. Go back to /b/.

>>1659438
>>1659445
>>1659497
I guaran-fucking-tee I've been here longer than any of you. It's a pathetic day when kids who probably think /pol/ is an original 2003 board start claiming superiority over other anons because of perceived political beliefs. You don't own this fucking site and you never will. Suck my fucking dick.

>>1659501
It'll end when the right-wing plebbitors that are now claiming 4chan as their personal safe space and trying to rewrite history will either leave this site or just stay in their containment board.

>>1659538
>he's still crying about /pol/
There's no-one here talking about politics except you. For no fucking reason you started sperging out about your "internet enemies". Get off the fucking website and go outside you cum guzzling cunt your brain is melted

>>1659538

What are you on about? For a self-professed oldfag you're acting like a baby. 4chan is counter-culture. When Bush was in and the zeitgeist was right it pushed left. Now leftists are in charge it pulls right. If Trump wins this place will go further left than Lenin.

Incidentally bragging about how long you've spent here is pathetic.

>>1659538
>you don't own this site
>i do!

Talking about safe spaces after a triggered rant about how people he disagrees with must go away. Irony 101.

>>1658515
>Mussolini becomes Master of the World (tm)

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Osman I, Mehmet II, Suliman the Magnificant, Darius I, Cyrus The Great, Xerxes

>>1657965
Abraham. Kill Judaism, Christianity and Islam (and their various spin-offs) with one bullet.

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>No1
Mohammed. No dispute a terrible force or evil upon the world, killing him before he started his career as a false prophet should be easy enough because we have good data on his life.
>2
Moses. This might be harder, since he's probably mythical. If he didn't exist, then I shoot Abraham instead, and if HE didn't exist I track down whoever really started Yahwehism and shoot him.
>3
Akechi Mitsuhide. In forcing Nobunaga to seppuku, Mitsuhide indirectly lead to the closing of Japan and the botched invasion of Korea, Nobunaga would either have won the war there or not gone in, and he was very outward-looking. Under his guidance Japan could have joined the club of developed nations much sooner and less traumatically.
>4
Cassander. Alexander's empire may have fallen apart anyway, but a special place in Hell should be reserved for this asshole, who's petty ambition not only ensured Alexander's empire would crumble but also ended his bloodline.
>5
Sargon of Akkad. Not the fat youtuber, the Akkadian king. He built the first empire in mesopotamia (and, therefore, the world) but he did it on an Akkadian (Semitic) basis, initiating the long decline of the Sumerians. Without him, Sumer would still have been unified (Sargon's predecessor unified Sumeria before his death, like Phillip of Macedon and Alexander) but it's unique culture would have survived longer and maybe had a wider influence (although ofc Sumeria is overwhelmingly influential anyway).
>6
Bismarck. Without him, the Germans would have unified eventually anyway, but under the influence of Hannover or Austria, and not the ultra-militaristic Prussians. Such a regime may have felt less of a need for the aggressive posturing and empire-building that preoccupied the status-conscious Prussians and that lead to all kinds of foolishness.

>>1657965
Marx
Engels
Genghis Khan
Timur
Mohammad
Mehmed II

>>1659687
>Marx
>Engels

You only need one of them.

>Mohammad
>Mehmed II

Without Mohammed, Mehmed would be remembered as one of the great Turkish Caesars.

>Genghis Khan
>Timur

Arguably you won't get Timur without Genghis, but OTOH some kind of steppe-based empire was probably inevitable and there are actually races more cruel than the Mongols.

>>1659642
>t.hellene

>>1659692
>You only need one of them.
just in case
>Without Mohammed, Mehmed would be remembered as one of the great Turkish Caesars.
>Arguably you won't get Timur without Genghis, but OTOH some kind of steppe-based empire was probably inevitable and there are actually races more cruel than the Mongols
Anything should be done to rid the world from the pest which steppe and central asian people are

>>1657965
I would go back 1 day and shoot you, so you don't make this thread.

Then i would shoot the rest of your family, just to be sure the retardation doesn't spread.

>>1659701
>Anything should be done to rid the world from the pest which steppe and central asian people are

Simple: Find the ancestor of the horse and shoot it. That would slow down global development, but it would spare advanced civilisation the series of hard reboots the incursions of steppe "people" historically have brought, tanks to the force multiplier of the horse.

Also might want to find and kill the first camel too, they're no horse but you /can/ fight from them, especially with a bow.

Travel to the begginning of time and shoot all six bullets to make one big bang

>>1659714

Just a nitpick but at the beginning of time, space was infinitesimally small, so you might have trouble holding your gun.

This thread is more fun to approach from a curiosity perspective than a "making the world a better place" perspective.

>shoot jesus at birth

I'm genuinely curious how western civilization would have developed without his influence. What moral values would we hold today? Would we invent the same ones under a different name? Or would an entirely new moral system come about?

>kill FDR and/or Churchill

What if the Nazis won? It's hard to even imagine what the world would look like. It looks like a dystopia to me. I really wonder how things would have played out.

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>>1657965
>Not doing nothing, because one can not calculate the incalculable amount of alternate events that would have been triggered if they killed a specific individual in the past.
Sorry OP, I don't want to find out if the butterfly effect is true or not.

>>1658616
>kill Engels
>Marx starves
>two birds with one stone

>>1659726
The butterfly effect is somewhat bullshit, unless you think that the things you like about the present were highly unlikely, and the things you dislike highly likely.

Otherwise, how can you make actions in the present, when every single one will have a ripple effect in the future?

The butterfly effect is only meaningful if you're planning on going back to the present, because there's a good chance your family/friends would not exist anymore.

>>1659725
>What moral values would we hold today?

Our moral values have almost nothing to do with Jesus, they're chiefly from Greece and Rome. With no Jesus, we'd lack negative tropes towards faggots and divorcees but aside from that ti would be the same.

>>1659726

If a time machine exists then it can't be. QED.

>the guy who invented the time machine
>the guy who invented the revolver
>the guy who sent me on the mission

>>1659705
>samefagging this hard
You've already been told where to go.
>>>/r/eddit

>>1657986
Alfred Russell Wallace would've just figured it out.

>>1659749

Bullshit. Our slave morality came directly from Christianity

>>1658005
I don't just believe in something.

>>1657965
1. Karl Marx
2. FDR
3. MLK Jr. but before he was famous
4. Luther
5. Rousseau
6. George Washington before the war

>>1659809
maybe. it might be baked into our genes, anon.

stories of whites adopting unrelated orphans are a lot more common than stories of ancient chinese doing so.

also, as bad as christianity could be sometimes, it DID give us essentially, the scientific method via monks and abbots.

>>1659618
Toot!

>>1659960
Races don't differ enough for hem to develop entirely different moral codes based on biology.

If it really is encoded into our genes, we should see slave morality just as prevalent in non-Christian cultures (and to be honest I don't know enough about those to give an answer to that question).

>>1659979
what makes you think we don't differ to that extent though? because we DO have different moral codes

in saudi arabia you can marry your rape victim. it is moral there because they have no way to avoid rape, so they try to cope with it as best they can. that's pretty DIFFERENT.

another example is the pre-bronze age trade in tin. almost 100% of the tin in bronze age greece was mined in northern england and germany, which means that in the absence of roads and centralized government, we had a moral system that prevented raiding enough, so facilitate peaceful trade over a thousand km.

basic TRADE broke down 30 miles inland of coastal anatolia.

that's DIFFERENT.

> Galileo
> Mark Zuckerberg
> Issac Newton
> Ivan the terrible before he reigned
> Prince Felix Yusupov (the man behind Rasputin's death)

> King Xerxes I of persia before war batttle of Thermoplae
> German General Erwin Rommel
> Bismark
> Thomas Jefferson

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C'mon Mark Zuckerberg would be awesome to see how things would play out.
> Kim Il Sung

>>1659949

Why MLK Jr.?

>>1659960
>also, as bad as christianity could be sometimes, it DID give us essentially, the scientific method via monks and abbots.

No, Scholasticism was inevitable and the scientific method owes nothing to Christianity bar the (very important) fact that Christians didn't outlaw scientific inquiry like muslim imams did.

>>1659882
You don't acknowledge the considerable evidence implying that macroevolution is real? What do you believe in instead?

Post

>>1660093
>> Galileo
Wut?

>>1657965
>shoot marx in the head
>blanqui becomes head of the IWA
>quasi-bolshevism hits before the end of the 19th century

brilliant plan, OP.

>>1660153
whether you agree or disagree, isn't it possible to infer my intent by the sort of figure he was?

>>1660558
disagree heavily.

christianity had
1. fixed canon. when priests couldn't raise their status via rules engineering or making new rules, they stopped adhering to levantine legal-code culture
2. LIMITED canon. the canon was not only fixed, but EXTREMELY limited in what it applied to. precisely BECAUSE christianity did not impose canon on things such as the nature of cloth burning, people were free to investigate this. imams outlawed inquiry because of the nature of islam itself
3. ABSOLUTE canon. because the conclusion was taken to be absolute, many priests had no need to waste time reinventing the wheel. they took up other pursuits.

christianity reduced competition in most scholarly fields and opened the floor to science.

china was the opposite example. they TRIED to be open minded, but it only gave the bureaucrats new ways to interfere and meddle with each other. every bit of scientific inquiry turned into an attempt to disempower rival bureaucrats.

christianity was essential to science.

>>1660583

Islam has all those things too. Science flourished in Europe because of a whole bunch of cultural and racial factors, the least of which was Christianity's tolerant attitude.

>>1657965
>AR-15_huffpost
:^)

>>1660565
It contradicts the only true JW version of KJV of Bible.

>>1660599
Before somebody starts screaming racis' at him - first-cousin marriages were officially illegal in Christian countries(and rarely happened outside of nobility), while they were ENORMOUSLY common(and they still are enormously common) in the muslim world. Which caused Arabs to be inbred retards.

>>1657965
Hope you like anarchism, OP.

>>1660599
islam DOESN'T have that though. islam doesn't have limited canon, most obviously. islam dictates how to wipe your ass when you take a shit. don't tell me islam has limited canon.

secondly, islam did NOT have a fixed canon. Islam has a levantine legal culture by which people compete for status via attempting to engineer loopholes in the rules. an example is how they have really finely detailed rules for excusing raping a woman if she's unclean, or how rules are delineated for what process to use for toturing a heaten to death. these are all prescribed in the hadiths, whcih were basically legal battles in the old islamic empires.

islam DOES have an absolute canon. congrats, you found one.

>racial factors
yes, this too. and putting them n a heirarchy of importance is meaningless, because you can't measure them, but overall racial factors matter more than religion, BUT race is a necessary but not sufficient component. religion ended up satisfying the conditions for sufficiency, even thuogh it's not a necessary component.

>>1660618
so it's racist to say that arabs are low iq, but it's "TOTALLY TOLERANT PC GUYS I SWEAR IM A NICE GUY DONT STONE ME TO DEATH" if arabs are low iq for racial reasons because of inbreeding?

stop trying to curry their favor. they'll never respect your opinion

>>1660624
This
Karl Marx didn't invent socialism nor communism. They existed before him

>>1660627

Are you suggesting Christianity had a fixed canon before Nicea? That's 350 years after the "facts", compared with Islam's codification under Uthman, who was one of Mohammed's disciples.

>>1660635
No I'm explaining the obvious reasons for why Arabs are dumb.

>>1660646
did science appear in christian europe before the council of nicea? it did not, in fact.

the council of nicea was crucial in fixing christian culture and determining the path europe would follow for the next thousand and a half years, smart guy

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>>1658061

>>1660650
Christian Arabs are not dumb
Just Muslims usually
But that's just my experience

>>1660698
christian arabs like copts are less dumb than muslims, but still not very smart

>>1660698

Christian Arabs don't marry cousins, muslims do. Also of note: Hindu poo-in-loos aren't dumb, but muslim Pakistanis are.

>>1660706
When I worked in the Suez Canal and around Egypt, Copts were the overwhelming majority of higher ups during constructions.
>>1660708
>Hindu poo-in-loos aren't dumb
That gives me another question
Why are Southern Indians more successful than their whiter, Northern counterparts?
Maybe Jainism, Hinduism, Sikhism etc etc collide in that aspect?

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>>1657965

>Assassinate John Wilkes Booth before he assassinates Abraham Lincoln
>Lincoln proceeds to send the freed blacks back to Africa as originally planned
>Modern US is an all-white paradise with dramatically lower crime rates and technology fifty years ahead of what we have in reality today

>>1657965
Fuck saving the world.


History is fine as is. How do i get the most amount of gold into my time machine though with the least amount of people to kill?

>>1660712
yes, when you work in a dumb country, with dumb people, the people who are less dumb manage to make it to the top

big fucking surprise

>>1659117
>wanting a doomed Republic to live on

Kill >sulla or the Gracchi instead

>>1658591
>shank tha witch la, fockin tory scum!

>>1657965
I shoot Rollo the Ganger's dad six times and prevent the eternal Norman from cucking the world

>>1659571
>If Trump wins this place will go further left than Lenin.
Ahahah, I doubt so. 4chan is simulacrum of false struggle par excellence.

>>1657965
Kill

>Mohammed
Prevents or delays the Arab conquests and possibly keeps Rome and Europe as a whole more stable for a longer time. If successful, would save millions of lives and make the Middle East and thus the world a more stable place.

>Genghis Khan
Without him, the mongols may have never united, and would never achieve world relevance. This not only saves millions of lives, but also prevents widespread rape and desolation, as well as preventing the destruction of knowledge - such as the Library of Baghdad (however it's debatable whether such a library would exist without Mohammed).

>Engels
>Marx
>Hegel
Killing these three hopefully prevents the idea of Communism from existing or at least significantly delays it. This prevents millions upon millions of deaths from war, genocide, and mass starvation.

>Thomas Midgely
He convined the US Congress that lead was a safe additive for gasoline. This exposed the US population to huge amounts of lead and drove violent crime way up during the 20th century, and also drove IQ down.

I'd prefer to have stopped other disastrous events like World War I and the Black Plague but unfortunately just a gun and six bullets isn't enough to stop those for sure. Killing Princip won't stop Serbian nationalists from assassinating Ferdinand, nor would it stop the Great War from happening. And the Black Plague was a disease spread from fleas on rats to humans, so it had no single "patient zero" - even if I killed the first human case of it and prevented it from spreading, someone else would catch it later.

Also I didn't pick Hitler because c'mon, that's too obvious. Besides I'd probably be killed when attempting to shoot him. All the others either have no concept of modern firearms or weren't important enough to have a personal guard.

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1. Jesus
2. Muhammad
3. Buddha
4. Krishna
5. Confucius
6. Zoroaster

>>1660923

So that would leave jews and hindus?

>Ctrl+F "Mayer Amschel Rothschild"
>0 results

Guys.

he only thing I'd consider changing is stopping 9/11 from happening since that's what pushed thing over he edge and indirectly effected much of he cyberpunk/shitty society we live in today

Kill mother mary joseph, baby jesus.

>>1657986
Retard detected

>>1657965
Your Mother
Your Father
Your Grandmother
Your Grandfather
You

Fuck this shit thread

>>1661822
Don't forget the last one for yourself

>>1660613
What makes the KJV Bible infallible?

I go back in time a few years and threaten Kojima and Konami at gun point to finished MGSV

>>1662223
I hope you die in a blazing fire you autistic faggot

I should have realized people who don't understand dialectics would want to kill Marx and Hegel

>>1660729
Srsly though, where go?

>>1662244
Jesus wrote it.

>>1662289
>being this triggered
I think you'd enjoy talking to the good people on
>>>/t/umblr

>>1660565
Zero.

There's zero evidence macroevolution is a real thing. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Just the "come on, it's 2016, of course evolution is real" argument.

>>1658005
Darwin spawned hundreds of millions of atheists who are all going to hell.

Some of those people, maybe not you, would otherwise have avoided that fate had they not been convinced that they were in fact monkey's uncles.

>>1658000
The other guy going to press, can't recall his name, didn't have the evil undertones the theologian Darwin had.

>>1660928
Those poor Hindus

>>1662357
>The term "macroevolution" frequently arises within the context of the evolution/creation debate, usually used by creationists alleging a significant difference between the evolutionary changes observed in field and laboratory studies and the larger scale macroevolutionary changes that scientists believe to have taken thousands or millions of years to occur. They accept that evolutionary change is possible within what they call "kinds" ("microevolution"), but deny that one "kind" can evolve into another ("macroevolution").[16]

lol how much of a chump do you have to be to willingly footsoldier yourself for this shitbag ideology
are you the same dude that posts chick tracts and fedora memes

>>1662375
No, I'm text only.

"Macroevolution" is an assumption that microevolution over eons produces changes in kinds of animals, like cats turning into giraffes.

Microevolution is wolves turning into dachshunds. Massive differences, same kinds.

All of the evidence for evolution (natural selection, breeding, mutation, adaptation) are for microevolution only.

>>1662385
>like cats turning into giraffes
is that how you think it works?

>>1662396
It doesn't.

Bible says it doesn't.

>>1662346
How about I write my fist into your face?

I'd travel back in time to the 13th century and shoot myself.

>>1659680
Just do 5 and 1 2 3 and 6 won't happen

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>Abe Lincoln
>Franz Ferdinand
>JFK
>Lee Harvey Oswald
>Bigge Smalls
>Tupac

>>1657965
Why do you hate workers?

>>1662979
Because they're working class scum.

Kill myself 6 times

>>1662830
How old are you?