>has a hunter's pack of dogs tear him to shreds because

>>1641142
Most of the Greek gods were.

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>>1641142
>goddess of childbirth
>a confirmed virgin

How did that work?

>>1641192
The moment she was born she helped her mother give birth to her twin brother Apollo

>>1641144
This.

Hades was pretty much the only one who wasnt a colossal douche.

>>1641215

Persephone might have a different take on things.

>>1641215
Hermes did nothing wrong

>>1641221
Actually nevermind, he stole Apollo's cattle one time

>>1641215
And Hephaestus. Poor bastard.

>>1641194
Fair enough, but I just would've thought Hera "mother of half the pantheon" would've been the better bet

>>1641226
He was also the patron of thieves, so he was kind of inherently a dick.

>>1641218
There is NOTHING to suggest she was sad that she became his wife, it was only her mom who threw a fit

>>1641234
I wouldn't say half, desu the only one I can think of off the top of my head is Ares, but I'm sure there's more. Also, she despised any son of Zeus that wasn't hers.

>>1641229
He tried to rape Athena once

>>1641281
He couldn't even do that right, he wuz a good boy.

>>1641241

Yeah, and I can't think of any other Greek myths that suggest any of the women are sad to be raped by strangers and dragged to their home and tricked into staying there, but somehow I bet that had they happend, said dames would not be skipping with joy.

>>1641284
He was a literal cuck.

>traps Ares and Aphrodite in a net to shame them
>they started fucking
>entire pantheon laughs at Hephestus
>Zeus then orders him to let them out

>>1641287
What about Medusa?

>>1641354
That version, that she was raped by Posiedon, originates with Ovid. And it's not she that's upset, it's Atena/Minerva because it happened in her temple.

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>>1641229
>>1641284
>>1641349
>supposed to be born a physical manifestation of beauty
>born so ugly that his own mother threw him off Mt.Olympus in disgust
>agrees to be the smith of the gods in exchange for a marriage to Aphrodite
>still gets cucked by Ares consistently
On top of all that he probably did the least wrong of all the Olympians. Poor dude.

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I think the only Greek god/titan that wasn't an asshole, was ironically, Prometheus.

>>1641281
>tried to rape a war goddess

Lel I bet he got his ass kicked.

>>1641394
Prometheus was an absolute bro who loved the human race.

>>1641142
wtf I hate the pantheon now

>>1641419
He got kinda close but he just ended up shooting on her leg

>>1641422
>>human race
Leftist or centrist detected, not sure which one.

>>1641433
The phrase "human race" has been used as a synonym for mankind since the 1500s, long before the 19th-early 20th century race politics you obviously adhere to came about.

>>1641142
Dionysus is a pretty cool dude tho

>>1641142
You don't disrespect an eternal spirit of nature, boyo.

>>1641142
Real talk, how would Artemis punish OP for his insolence?

>>1641142
Thats why romans are superior. Because their gods are superior in all aspects.

>>1641532
They didn't embrace tragedy in the divine sphere, yet another reminder that the Romans lacked refinement.

>>1641221
Hermes was just fun.

I enjoyed the one story that basically describes how he did everything he could to be more clever than Apollo.

Like Apollo was god of music or song or whatever so Hermes became god of the lyre

>>1641229
Hephaestus was a hard working god he didn't deserve to get cucked by chad Ares man.

>>1641142
The greeks ruined her. The italic, anatolian, celtic versions of her aren't nearly as arseholish (tho still pretty bloody).

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post more funny greek god stories

Fuck, Roman/Greek statues of women get me so fucking hard

>all of this modern slave morality used to judge ancient gods

The Greeks were shallow out of profundity, because they grasped life in its fullness.

>>1642291
Sexuality is a great thing.

>>1642343
>ywn be Huemac

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>>1642291
This one gets me wet.

>>1641287
Rape was culturally accepted back then, probably like getting shoved in a crowded place.

>>1644583
L O N D O N

>>1644583
>ok don't murder me let's kiss

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>>1642285
>be priapus
>try to rape a goddess
>fucking donkey makes me lose wood
>get so mad at donkey get boner
>rage boner is eternal
>rape anybody trespassing