/his/ Humor thread, let's get going lads, I need to

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>>1582628

>>1582628
>/his/ humor
>stealing /twg/ memes
Nice start loser.

>>1582653
>>1582628
none of these are /his/ you idiots. /his/ is too young to have an identity. It's still nothing more than an amalgamate of older boards

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>>1582628
Cmon guys, shitty historical memes are the only reason I visit this site anymore.

>>1582925
Its memes with historical theme, not memes about /his/ you sperg.

>>1582653
Anyone got the other variant of this where the Germanic dude is all like "praise Wodinaz/Jupiter" at the end?

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>>1582628

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>>1583234

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>>1583240

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>>1583243

>>1583253
>this triggers the orthodox

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ztOV2wrrkY

>>1583458
>that pictures
shut it down

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>>1583141
I got you senpai

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I laffed, better than the shit reposted in every thread here

>>1584589
an
>/his/ History & Humanities
edit would be nice on this one

>>1582653
>not using v instead of u
6/10

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>>1583362
oc

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>>1582653

>>1583243
>>1583253
Kek

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pernicious milan

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>>1584604
indeed

>>1582628
Imagine being the janitor on this board and having to be all like "damn, Anonymous, your memes' fuckin' fine, all epic with your rehashed content and horrific unoriginal jokes. I would totally use these memes, both on the internet and in real life." when all he really wants to do is troll another 16 year old on facebook. Like seriously imagine having to be the janitor and not only sit on this board while Anonymous flaunts his disgusting memes in front of you, the Yotsuba B layout barely concealing his putrid body odor and greasy skin, and just sit here, thread after thread, hour after hour, while he perfected that meme. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking memeshit but his haughty attitude as everyone in the thread tells him he's WELL MEME'D, FRIEND and DAMN, /his/ MEMES LOOK LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit here and watch his redditish fucking posts contort into types of autism you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been posting nothing but a healthy diet of historyfu threads and /map/ generals and later alleged "Empire" threads for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in /b/. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his scraggly neckbeard as he sucks it in to chortle dismissively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to not get paid to sit here and revel in his "dank (for that is what he calls them)" memes, the memes he worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous hours. And then the OP calls for another thread, and you know you could ban every single person on this board before the admin could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're the fucking janitor. You're not going to lose your future moderator career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

>>1587773
Nani?

Does someone have the one where newton posts in ye old 4chan in old english ?

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>>1582628

A reactionary, counterrevolutionary Vendean and Aristocrat was teaching a class on Joseph de Maistre, known ultramontane.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Christ the King and accept that absolute monarchs ruling by divine grace are the only righteous form of government, even greater than republicanism !”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, Grande Armee soldier who had fought over six coalitions and understood the necessity of revolutionary terror and fully supported the merciless execution of nobles and priests stood up and held up a copy of the Constitution of the Year I.

"Where is sovereignty vested, Citizen?"

The Aristocrat smirked and smugly replied “in the throne, you stupid jacobin”

”Wrong. Under the Republic, and then our fairly appointed Emperor Napoleon who rules by the will of the people, France has reached untold greatness and made herself the premier power in all of Europe. If, as you say, executive power rightly belonged to the royal family, then Louis XVIII should have been restored to his throne by now."

The Nobleman was visibly shaken, and dropped his fleur de lis and copy of Memoirs Illustrating the History of Jacobinism. He stormed out of the room crying those false royalist tears. The same tears royalists cry for the Dauphin” (who was imprisoned in such luxury that it took him two years to die).

The students applauded, joined the Jacobin Club that day and accepted Napoleon as l'Empereur. A revolutionary named “Marat” stumbled into the room and collapsed atop the arc de triomphe and bled on the Declaration of the Rights of Man. La Marseillaise was sung several times, and Robespierre himself showed up and enacted universal male suffrage.

The aristocrat was proscribed and hauled before the revolutionary tribunal the next day. He was guillotined and nothing happened after that because the afterlife is a myth created by the Church to keep free men and women under the despotism of the king.

A bearded, child-eating, tyrannical and perfidious Carthaginian Envoy and bum fucker was parleying with the Romans in the Forum and extolling the virtues of Hannibal, a known barbarian chieftain.

Before you surrender, you must get on your knees and worship Hannibal and accept that he is the greatest General the world has ever known, even greater than Alexander the Great!

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, true Roman centurion who had served 1500 battles and understood the savagery of the Barbarians and fully supported Cato the Elder's opinion that Carthage Must Be Destroyed held up his gladius.

"What do you call this weapon, Puno?

The arrogant Envoy smirked quite punicly and smugly replied "A Gladius"

The centurion then proceeded to stab the swarthy Carthaginian, after which he held aloft his sword and cried.

"ROME DEMANDS VICTORY FROM HER GENERALS, AND THIS DAY IS CLEARLY OUR VICTORY."

The envoy was visibly wounded, and dropped his bribe money and copy of the peace treaty. He stormed out of the room crying those duplicitous punic tears.

The citizens applauded and all signed up in the legions that day and supported continued war against Carthage. An eagle named "Pietas" flew into the room and perched atop the Roman Standard and shed tears of gold on it. The Sibilline books were read several times, and Romulus himself showed up and led Rome's Legions into war.

The Cathaginian exited the gates of hallowed Rome and died the next day and he was buried in a mass burial site only fit for homeless lepers and widows.

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HEY KISAMAS,
WATASHI NO NAMAE WA ANANIMASU OFFU KAKUSU TO WATASHI WA KIRAI EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ANATA. ALL OF ANATA ARE FAT, BAKA BAKA NO-LIFES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF MAINICHI MITEIRUING AT BAKA PICTURES. ANATA WA SUBETE THAT IS WARUI IN THE SEKAI. HONTO NI, HAVE ANY OF ANATA EVER GOTTEN ANY NEKO? I MEAN, WATASHI GUESS IT'S TANOSHI MAKING FUN OF HITOS BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN UNKAWAIINESS, BUT MINNA TAKE IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. KORE WA WORSE THAN ONANI-ING TO PICTURES ON HESUBUUKU.

SHIRANAI HITO JA NAI DESHO? JUST HIT WATASHI AND BE SURE TO GANBARIMASU. WATASHI WA PRETTY MUCH PAAFEKUTO. WATASHI WAS AMERIKAN FUTBORU NO CAPTAIN, TO WATASHI WAS HAJIMASHTATER ON WATASHI NO BASUKETOBOORU TEAM. DONNA SUPOTSU DO ANATA ASANBOU, OTHER THAN "ONANI TO NAKED DRAWN NIPPONJIN"? WATASHI MO GET HOMO JA NAI A'S, TO WATASHI HAS A BANGING KAWAII SHOJO (KANOJO WA BLOWJOB WO SHIMASHITA; KUSO WA HONTO NI CASH.) ANATA WA ALL KISAMAS DARE SHOULD JUST KOROSU THEMSELVES. DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU FOR LISTENING.
(SONO PIC WA RELATED DESU, ARE WA WATASHI TO WATASHI NO ONNA)

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>be 13
>I admire Robespierre so much
>I know all his quotes
>All evenings I pray to Robespierre
>I thank him for the Republic that we've been given, by our Creator
>"Robespierre is love, Robespierre is the Revolution", I say
>My father gets mad and calls me a faggot
>He's jealous of my devotion to the Terror
>He slaps me and sends me to my room
>I cry because it hurts
>I lie on my bed
>A warmth is moving towards me
>I feel something touch me
>It's Maximilien Marie Isidore de Robespierre
>I am so happy
>He whispers in to ear, "it's time for Terror"
>He makes me lie down on the bed
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass cheeks for the Revolution
>He penetrates me with his incorruptible dick
>It hurts, but I do it for la Republique
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>He pushes farther
>I want to please Maximilien
>He roars "Despotism!" while he fills me with his fraternity
>My dad walks in
>Maximilien looks him in the eye and says "The Revolution is the war of liberty against its enemies."
>He leaves through my window
>Maximilien Robespierre is life, Maximilien Robespierre is the Revolution
>Next morning, I find my dad decapitated

>>1582783

I think he just means history related memes.

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>>1587274

>>1587274
>capital vol 3

kek

Anyone got the extended Christian dark ages meme?

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>>1582628
How is this one?

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>>1582628

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>>1589302
my fucking sides

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>>1589650
ive got an even better one, although it isnt a meme

>>1590724
Somebody post the one with "sick fanfiction"

>>1589300
I like this one.

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>>1590646

>>1589300

10/10

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>>1590771

>>1583253
Why is the nigga wearing Hungarian crown?

Why do you guys hate Martin Luther? The idea of commercial indulgences is fucking ridiculous.

>>1591192
LARPing

fuck off back reddit

no seriously

>>1589302
>The envoy was visibly wounded
holy kek

>>1583458

Triggering /pol/acks.

A Cao Wei general and veteran of the Jingzhou campaign was teaching a class on Cao Cao, statesman and posthumous first emperor of Wei.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Cao Cao, acknowledging that he was the greatest general that China has ever known, even greater than Zhuge Liang!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic soldier of Shu who had served in all of the expeditions from the Qishan Hills and understood the godlike abilities of Zhuge Liang and fully supported Emperor Liu Shan as the Han Emperor stood up, showing a map of Wu.

"How does one defeat Wu and reunite China?"

The arrogant general smirked like a foreign pigdog and smugly replied: "You invade with a large army in concert with a large fleet, you stupid Han supporter."

"Wrong. If that was true, Cao Cao wouldn't have been defeated by Zhuge Liang in the Battle of Red Cliffs and let live only by the mercy of Guan Yu."

The general was visibly shaken and dropped his ink brush and copy of Cao Cao's plagiarized book of strategy. He stormed out of the room crying those Cao crocodile tears. The same tears cry for the Wei Emperor (who today lives in luxury while Sima Yi controls the empire) when they blame the loss of Red Cliffs on bad timing. There is no doubt at this point our general, Cao Ren, wished that he had pulled himself out of his bootstraps and defeated Liu Bei at Xiangyang before Red Cliffs. He wished so much that he had a sword to slit his own throat from embarrassment, but it had been confiscated by the Simas!

The students all applauded and decided to move to Chengdu and accepted Liu Shan as their emperor. A young phoenix named Pang Tong flew into the room and perched atop the banner of Liu Bei and shed a tear on the Art of War. Zhuge Liang himself showed up and revealed the necessity of fire use in battle before revealing the rest of the school was ablaze.

A neoliberal capitalist burgeois eurocentrist professor and Armed Forces General graduated in the School of the Americas was teaching a class on Benjamin Franklin, known Yankee imperialist.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the United States of America and accept the globalized Free Market as your only religion".

At this moment, a brave young man that had read "Open Veins of Latin America" and listened to 15 000 hours of the national government network stood up and held up a rock.

Whose rock is this?

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "since it was inside the faculty, it's the faculty's property, stupid leftist".

"False. If the entire university's executive comitee has benefited from the work done by the workers that built the faculty... the rock belongs to the people."

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of "Capitalism and Freedom". He stormed out of the room crying those neoliberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all changed their first and last names to native american words that day. Che Guevara's silhouette apearred on everybody's t-shirt and shed a single tear. Several american flags where burned that day and Bolivar himself appeared and declared the reunification of all of Latin America as the New Great Colombia.

The professor was fired the next day and all his posessions where expropiated.

>>1590746
Kek

>>1589306
fucking kek

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>>1589300
>A revolutionary named “Marat” stumbled into the room and collapsed atop the arc de triomphe and bled on the Declaration of the Rights of Man

>>1591729
This is some quality fucking pasta

>>1589654
reddit tier

>>1589316

Never get old. Sound better in french tough.
>it is time for terror.

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Hey, remember when we had a board-tan for about a month?

>>1591192
Of course it is. But being a complete autist about it is even worse.

>>1584616
>an unlocked gate in the
>JEWISH
>sector

>>1593573
We had a board-tan?

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>>1591734
>>1591729
Good effort.
>>1589300
>>1589302
Very well done.

Can someone do a islamist one against a shia or an atheist?

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>>1593573
>>1593633
>had
We just don't have a thread dedicated to drawing him like some stupid autists.

>>1593679

A Persian Zoroastrian homosexual cataphract horseman and fire worshipper was teaching a class on Zoroaster, known heathen.

"Before class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Zarathursta and accept he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment a brave, patriotic, pro-Nicaean Roman centurion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the Emperor of Constantiniple stood up and held a sealed envelope.

"What are the contents of this letter, pinhead?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite despotically and smugly replied "the letter from Khosrau to Kardarigan, ordering Shahrbaraz's death, which you intercepted and used to win the last war."

"Wrong. It's a letter from Muhammad, and I haven't actually read it yet."

At that moment, 20,000 Muslims burst into the room and beheaded them both. All the nations from Spain to India were conquered, and all of their subjects converted to Islam. Mankind entered a dark age, and Orthodoxy and Zoroastrianism were removed to the far corners of the Earth, where they languish in obscurity.

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>>1594561
I... need to cry for a moment

>>1590646
yeah the guy definitely was autistic

>>1594487
i laughed

>>1587814

Bullshit. All Italy did during the world wars was to get owned by shit tier European nations like Greece and Austria-Hungary.

>>1595668
What is the context of this?

>>1593679
A backward, moronic and unwashed farsi was teaching a class on ali, known heretics.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and ali, the greatest caliph that the entire islamic world has ever known!”

At this moment, a brave, pious muhajideen who had beheaded 1500 alawite and understood the necessity of jihad fi sabil Allah and would give his life for Ibn Taymiyyah stood up and held up a copy of the quran.

”How important is the The Twelve Imams, munafiqun?”

The arrogant persian smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “It is the soul of the Islamic faith, you stupid bedouin.”

”Wrong. Everyone knows that the Shahada is the true creed of Allah. If Islam was about The Twelve Imams… then we would all be guilty of shirk by now.”

The persian was visibly shaken, he dropped his chalk and his hummus. He stormed out of the room crying those persian crocodile tears. The same tears shiite cry for the zindiks heretics while they were righteously purged. There is no doubt that at this point our savafid sultan shah ismail wished he had pulled himself up by his turban and become more than just a poorly disguished persian nationalist. He wished so much that he had a bomb to martyr himself, but he himself had made his islamic way of life into a jahilliyah parody of itself!

All the students applauded and accepted wahhabism as the only true version of Islam. The Prophet himself (pbuh) showed up and shed tears on how well preserved his teachings were and how there wasn't even a single person in sight named Ali or Haidar. The Quran was recited several times, and Allah himself showed up and executed Ali and every shiite kufr that ever lived.

>>1595677
>and how there wasn't even a single person in sight named Ali or Haidar
kek

>>1584616
>that black soldier
WE WUZ ROMANS N SHIIIIIEEEEET

>>1594561

Praise Kek the Christ.

>/his/ posters

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>>1594561
>nobody noticed he was making a Civilization joke

>>1596259
even then it makes no sense because the Med is always all or mostly coast tiles in Civ

>>1590724
> They refer to the Netherlands as "low countries"

FUCK YOU WE WERE AN IMPORTANT KINGDOM REEEEEEEEEEEE
THE NETHERLANDS WERE IN CHARGE STOP FUCKING PRETENDING THE OTHER LOWLANDS HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT, THEY CAN'T EVEN TRADE AROUND A SUNKEN SHIP IN THEIR HARBOUR

WE FUCKING REKT SPAIN AND RULED SHIT ACROSS THE PLANET,
SAY IT WITH ME,
NETHERLANDS, NETHERLANDS, NETHERLANDS!
JE MAINTIENDRAI NIGGERS

>>1589302
>not ending it with "furthermore I submit that Carthage should be destroyed"

>>1596284

PAISES

BAJOS

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>>1587274
>>1589348

>>1596295
WE DIDN'T FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS SO YOU COULD DECIDE WHAT OUR NAME WAS, CUNT. GO SUCK A MOOR'S COCK, SPANJE

anyone got the 'im tsar ferdinand and this is jackass' one?

>>1596314

my fucking sides

>>1596326

HOLANDA

>>1594513
I came here to laugh, not to feel

>>1596284
the fuck do you think "nether" means?

>>1596370
HOLLAND ISN'T EVEN THE FUCKING COUNTRY YOU FUCKING SPAINAL LOVING FAGGOT, IT'S JUST TOO PROVINCES YOU CORDOBAN CUMSLUT.
GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OVER HERE AND SUCK MY MASSIVE DIKE

>>1594513
finally, a noncorny meme

>>1596403
calling them the low lands is fucking disgraceful. The only relevent bit is the part of the lowlands called the Netherlands, pretending anything else had anything to do with anything is fucking bullshit.

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>>1582653
>mfw this is what is happening to Europe today
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qh7rdCYCQ_U

>>1596673
>>1596673

The empire was always multicultural you stupid fucks. Or do you think they genocided the entire mediterranean and then recolonized with pure aryan romans?

>>1596938
Retard detected.

Everyone that wasn't R O M A N was treated like a second class citizen. Rich barbarians and foreigners used to ape them and romantize their names to fit in.

Then they started hiring foederati and got fuked in the ass

>>1596959
>Everyone that wasn't R O M A N was treated like a second class citizen
Because being Roman was a national identity, not a cultural or ethnic ones. There were Greek Romans, Gaulish Romans, Punic Romans... etc etc.

And that's why large parts of the Empire never even spoke Latin.

People who apply modern concepts of nation-states to ancient empires are literally paint-huffing retards.

>>1596966
That is literally what we are talking about.

Modern migrants don't consider themselves a part of their host nation

>>1596971
>Modern migrants don't consider themselves a part of their host nation
nice citation

>>1596978
If they aren't willing to assimilate, why would they consider themselves a part of their host nation?

>>1596788
kek

>>1595672
A rapier has a better reach than a sabre?

>>1596987
Cause they live there LMAO

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Is this all there is?

Also I know this was only 22 and technically not /his/ but what's 3 years in 13.6 billion?

>>1586042
+1

>>1590746
cheers m8

>>1586907
>defected

Couldn't handle the bants

>>1593987
I'm glad the old /trv/ pic made it in there

>>1600344

Whats so funny about it? It's a tiny little island the size of southampton , Are you amused they couldnt survive english greed on the XIX century for an entire day?
Have a (You)

>>1600709
It's amusing because they though they could win you dip.

It's like laughing at the Darwin awards

>>1596966
retard

many great "roman" statesmen were mocked at first for not being from the city of Rome itself
e.g Cicero

>>1600709
It's not funny that they lost, it's laughable that they tried.

>>1600726
>>1601201
You guys are the reason /his/ never stood a chance in the first place,

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>>1596367
Got it lad

>>1589300
Actually laughed.

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>>1601450
What the fuck am I looking at?

>>1601529
The second balkan war.

>>1593573
I always pictured /his/-tan having sagely long hair. Just a straight Socrates ripoff isn't very appealing.

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Don't know if this counts as humor but it's definitely worth a read.

>>1603522
This gets posted in literally every thread.

>>1603522
Am i the only one who has nostalgia for 2014 4chan? It was such a unique year for some reason.

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>>1601605
That's Herodotus you dingus

>>1601529
Bulgaria couldn't wait for a treaty to confirm everything they wanted in Macedonia, so they went to war with literally everyone else in the Balkans over it. They promptly lost everything.