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So I've finally realized that there's no meaning to

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So I've finally realized that there's no meaning to life. I don't care about leaving a legacy or anything like that; I could get hit by a bus and tomorrow and die without regret. I'm certainly on the bottom half of this chart, because I'm not searching for meaning. At the same time, though, I do want to improve myself by getting fit, expanding my mind, etc., simply because it seems more interesting than just sitting around watching TV.

The point is that I'm having trouble reconciling these thoughts. It's like I want the results of the übermensch path but with a hedonistic worldview. It makes it difficult to commit to working hard towards a goal when the best argument for it is "meh, there's nothing better to do".

What do? How do I balance the lack of ambition with the desire for self-improvement when that takes so much more willpower and energy than base hedonism?
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>>1573942
>I've finally realized that there's no meaning to life.
No you haven't You're still here telling everyone about your boring life and your "reconciling thoughts" as if any of that means anything. Just fucking do it or don't do it.
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Ambition and willpower are spooks.
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>>1573942
get a dog or something.
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>>1573950
I never said my thoughts are important. But the fact of the matter is that I do have thoughts, and will continue to unless I choose to an hero. So I'm just trying to figure out those thoughts.

>>1573953

But don't you need willpower whenever you're going to do something that doesn't give immediate satisfaction?
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this boy is all u need :)

good luck cutie!! xx
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>>1573969
What is willpower? Can you show it to me? It's a word that describes some measure of resolve, some potency. But can you really quantify such a thing, or establish unambiguously how it is exhausted or replenished, sustained, diminished, enhanced, reinforced, weakened, etc, perhaps when you perform actions according to your will, or when you refrain from doing so?
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>>1573942
Just sell all your shit and sign to fight in the civil war nearest to you.
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>>1574027

I would just say it's a function of higher thought that allows us to do things which are unpleasant. I may know that going to the gym is good for me long term, but actually getting up and going is something I don't want to do. Therefore, it requires a given amount of willpower, which varies depending on how unpleasant the task is.
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>>1574111
I'm very much ready to accept that what you describe is indeed the way in which we are inclined to see our actions as a function of this willpower quantity.
What I'm really trying to get at is that there is no such quantity present in our mind independent of our feelings about what we are doing.
I may say that what I am doing is unpleasant, but I persist nonetheless due to the willpower I still have, or that I stop my action because I have run out of willpower so that the unpleasantness overtakes me, but all that really exists is my experience of being able to endure unpleasantness or the experience of being overcome by unpleasantness. The property of 'willpower' is merely my conceptualization of WHY I am having a particular experience, i.e. a spook.
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>>1573942
Have you tried honestly reaching out to God? As much as daily life bogs me down, and I realize everything in this world is garbage, I remember this world is not my home, this life is temporary, and eternity, and where we are to spend it is entirely up to YOU. God gave us free will, we can choose to ignore His gift, or accept it. He awaits you with open arms. I can't say that I am perfect, or that I don't have faults, or that I don't fall short, because I do, but because of Him, I have purpose, even if I'm not always entirely sure what that purpose may be. He gives us all purpose. Turn to Him, it sounds like you have nothing to lose by "giving God a chance"
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>>1574316

God is a spook, you creationist faggot
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>>1574323
wow that was uncalled for.
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