ITT: Times in history when people acted like the Joker >be

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>>1527347
>be papa Caesar
>fighting the uncultured Gauls because why not
>maybe if you conquer them and let them learn from a superior Latin government for like 2 millennia they would learn
>probably not though
>faggots don't even know how to build walls
>so you walled them in yourself
>your officers thought you were joking
>lol who cares
>tfw faggots got reinforcements
>they outnumber you too much
>wat do
>idk, build another wall
>you love walls

The original wall builder please don't steal

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>>1527380
Here's another

>tell pirates that abducted you you'll crucify their asses when you get back
>they think you just frontin and you have epic bants and play games with them
>these niggas love your ass
>force them to raise your ransom because you know you're worth more
>keep telling them "oh you niggers you, i'll crucify you when i get free!"
>heartykeks.jpg
>bros finally pay your ransom
>raise a small fleet, go back and find the pirates
>crucify them and take back your money

SAUVAGE

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>be James VI
>write a treatise on Scottish poetry, saying that the Scots language is objectively superior to the English one and that Scottish literature generally is of a higher standard than English literature
>become King of England
>never speak Scots again, never give any Scottish author your patronage again, and only visit Scotland one more time before moving to England
GEORGE BUCHANAN'S GONNA FREAK

>>1527347


>Be Alcibiades
>Basically addicted to attention
>After the bitter Peloponnesian war, Sparta and then finally reach a truce
>Everyone is happy the awful war is over
>everyone except Alcibiades, that is
>Tensions start to mount, thanks in part due to Alcibiades' speeches against Sparta
>The Spartans dispatch am emergency delegation to Athens to patch things up
>Alcibiades is butthurt that his rival Nicias is getting a seat at the negation table, so he meets with the Spartan delegates in secret
>Alcibiades: 'OK guys, I have an idea. Since I am a great orator I think it would be good if you let me argue your case. "
>Spartans : ' Alright, we'll hand over full negotian power to you're
>The next day...
>Alcibiades: " is it true that you gave me full negotiation power.?"
>Spartans: "yes."
Alcibiades: "but just yesterday you said you were the ones who had negotiation power. So which is it? Flip floppers! These Spartans are not to be trusted."
>Nicias:" hey come on we can all be friends here"
>Other Athenians: " this is bullshit! War with Sparta now!"

And that's how Alcibiades got thousands of people killed out of spite.

Years later, Alcibiades is agitating or war again.

>"C'mon guys let's invade Sicily, we'll get loads of money and we can probably do it with just 60 ships no prob"
>Nicias: " Alcibiades that is retarded even for you; we would need at least, oh I dunno, like 3 times as many ships. It would be a bad idea."
>The other Athenians take Alcibiades' estimate seriously
>" Great idea Nicias! Let's do it!"
>Nicias: " but.."
>" And since it was your idea you will lead the expedition"
>" I don't want to."
>"Too bad."
>Alcibiades: I want to come too.
>"Yeah, take Alcibiades with you."

>>1527483
No Nicias was a shit leader.

He overestimated how many ships and men they'd need for the expedition to turn off the athenians, and they took him seriously.

Instead of saying they wouldn't need that many, he went along with it, turning a small expedition into an incredibly high risk venture. And to top it off in his shitty estimation he didn't include cavalry, which stopped the Athenians from having a decisive victory over the Syracusans as they couldn't pursue them.

I'd post more of Nicias' fuck ups but I don't have the time.

I bet you think Cleon was a terrible guy as well.

>>1527347
Huh, makes you think

>>1527483
this is terrible, learn how to meme