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Hi, /h/. I've been taking Japanese language courses for about 2 years now, so I wanted to try my hand at translating a doujin. To those of you who have a good grasp of the language, if you're interested, please look through and see if anything's poorly translated. Those of you who don't, feel free to point out anything that's just worded awkwardly, anything that looks bad, etc.
In particular, I wasn't sure what fonts to use, though I think the main one I used is what most people use.
Also, there are a good few phrases that I found very confusing, and I'll point these out as I post.
Original for comparison:
https://exhentai.org/g/1012393/404c3e0e02/
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>>4571929
For this page, I couldn't figure out what "つってんだよ!" was meant to be, but I found that "釣る" could mean "allure" or "entice," so I went with that.
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>>4571930
Here, most of what the guy says in the top left panel felt a bit shaky to me.
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>>4571932
Well, here, it looks like he said something more akin to "toilet bowl face", but I didn't know how to word that in a way that actually sounded good.
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>>4571933
I couldn't tell if it was Reimu or the guy speaking in the bubble on the right of the bottom right panel on this page, assumed it'd be the guy.
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>>4571938
This phrase, "たまんねー", I was unsure about. I figured it was a more casual-sounding way to say "たまらない", since that made sense.
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>>4571941
Is "flying orgasm" a reference to something?
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>>4571942
Left bubble, top right panel, I think I got essentially the same meaning, but I didn't really know how to translate it directly.
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>>4571946
And here, I couldn't really figure out a way to make his sentence flow well from panel 2 to panel 3.
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>>4571949
Now this one, I couldn't figure out Reimu's last speech bubble on the page. "どうこうできる", to me, sounds like it should be "able to accompany," but for her to be saying she doesn't think there's anybody able to accompany her in this context doesn't really make sense. So, I went for what I thought would be a similar meaning.
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>>4571958
Any better way to translate "くぱっ"?
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>>4571961
Middle right panel, the guy's left speech bubble, I basically omitted the first half of what he said because I just didn't understand.
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>>4571966
Last panel, right speech bubble, I couldn't figure that out. Probably some grammatical structure I'm unfamiliar with, so I figured this was an appropriate approximation of the meaning.
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>>4571970
The whole top left panel of this one gave me some problems.
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>>4571974
The first bubble on this page sounds like absolute shite
"You're my property, so I'll soak your body [in something]?" What did he mean by this?
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>>4571978
And that's all. Hope you all enjoyed it, and suggest any necessary improvements.
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>>4571930
It's a continuation of the previous bubble, i.e. [見せろっつってんだよ!] = [見せろと 言ってるんだよ!]
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>>4572441
Oh, that makes a lot more sense, thanks.
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I kind of wanted to wait until I had most of the kinks ironed out (that's why I posted here first), but I see someone has already put this up on sadpanda. If you're still in the thread, I'll post revised pages (anyone else can feel free to help too), so please update the gallery as I post.
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>>4572441
My mind cant make sense of this
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>>4572475
it's kanto dialect or whatever
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>>4572475
Goes like this:「と言って」→「ちゅうて」→「つって」
見せろ「っつって」んだよ! → 見せろ「と言って」んだよ! → 見せろと 言っているんだよ!
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The more manga you read raw, the more you'll get used to the manga-specific slang. e.g.
>>4571933
便器 and variations of it (like 肉便器) usually refer to someone being a receptacle (for cum, normally) - aka a cum dump or whatever version of this slang you want to use.
>>4571942
My guess is it's probably 飛ぶ translated into engrish then back to katakana (which became フライング). 飛ぶ is used as a sort of euphemism for orgasming really hard.
>>4571954
I'd probably go with something like "keep up with".
>>4571959
Not really (other than maybe "spread"). I fucking hate trying to translate onomatopoeia.
>>4571964
It's a little messy, but it basically says "It's about time you become my personal sex-loving miko in heat who can't live without me." or something like that.
>>4571970
しといて->しておいて = leaving the situation as is.
"This will do for today", "I'll leave it at this for today", etc
>>4571976
The だってこと is marking the subject of the "soaking" (i.e. that she is his property).
It's more like "I'll make the fact that you're mine soak into your body." or a bit looser but probably more apt: "I'll make your body remember/learn that it's mine." Or whatever. Some variation of this.
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>>4572526
Oh and the rest of the issues you have are mostly just clunky translations, not really anything wrong with them per se, just could be phrased better in some cases.
DESU when I (very rarely) bother to translate something, I usually agonise over phrasing the most.
Basic translation = maybe 30 minutes to an hour for a standard 20-page manga. Fixing up the phrasing and word choice takes a lot longer than I'm willing to admit.
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>>4572526
>>4572548
Wow, thanks for all this. I'll post revised pages soon, but I might just leave "flying orgasm" because it's kind of funny, and the meaning isn't really obscured. Thanks especially for explaining that しといて is just しておいて, that went right over my head and I was confused every time I saw it.
That said, to do a basic translation in 30 minutes to an hour is impressive. It took about a whole day for me, mostly because I had to look up a bunch of kanji and unfamiliar words.
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Is translating hentai a good way to learn and improve japanese? I really want to get into this and I heard that hentais are a good beginner level
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>Extremely thicc reimu
>Lots of text
>Hypnosis
Unnamed translator, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for putting time into this.
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>>4572608
Light novel/web novels are a better way to learn, imo (I speak from experience), but I think doujin's are a good stepping stone up to that level. Watch out because all the colloquial speech and dialects may trip you up.
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>>4572608
Kind of. Basically anything that has you exposed to lots of kanji in an engaging manner will help your reading and comprehension. As with most things, getting good at it just takes lots of practice.
It neglects your speech though. I used to have a lot of down time at work and I studied a bunch of kanji. I was able to read/write about 2500 to 3000 characters, but I was incapable of talking to anyone in Japanese. C'est la vie I guess
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>>4571980
How did you learn it?
Just Genki and then Kanji drills or some specific method?
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Can you try this one? I really want it translated, I will be grateful for life
https://nhentai.net/g/185846/
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>>4572778
I'm in college, and I've been taking Japanese classes on the side.
>>4572785
I can't make any promises. I just wasted my spring break jerking off and now I've got three exams this week, so you might want to ask someone less busy.
>>4572612
Glad you enjoyed it. I got impatient seeing it sit there untranslated for two months, so I decided it was time to test my skills. I'm happy that people like the result so far.
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>>4572453
Oh shit I'm sorry
Once you fix stuff I can just delete that gallery so you could upload it
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>>4572608
No. I mean, it's better than nothing, but (a) without a solid understanding of grammar and sentence structure, you're not going to learn much and more importantly, (b) the vocabulary in hentai manga is usually very specific and not really stuff you'd see used in day-to-day conversations or books and whatnot. And I don't just mean dialects, I mean every hentai manga is basically the same 200-300 words with somehere between 10-50 less common words mixed in. It's not a bad way to practice reading the kanji that actually gets used... But the words that get used are usually so limited that you're not going to be learning all that much.
There are exceptions, but for most manga it's basically "learn the most common 300~ish words and you can read at least 90% of almost everything."
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>>4573131
I don't mind that you uploaded it. Either way works, to be honest. Well, it'll be a day or two before I have the time to revise all the pages that need it, so I guess I'll figure it out at that time.
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>>4573252
Oh, and there's an additional list of theme-related words you'd need to learn (e.g. the common words used in a Touhou manga will differ from the common words used in incest manga which again will differ from the common words used in a donald-trump-vs-tentacle-monsters-orgy manga, etc etc.
So I guess if you broaden your horizons, you're exposed to more words, but they're still mostly hentai-specific words.
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>>4573254
Ok
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Some pointers and corrections if you're interested
>>4571931
>salty
She is half-repeating the word "shiofuki" (squirt) which she doesn't recognize. Use something which someone might mishear squirt as.
>>4571938
>thanks for the meal
This is the phrase for before the meal. I'd just go with "Let's get started"
>>4571946
>while you don't know any better
I'll make sure I'm not exposed
>>4571947
>hopeless facial expression
顔が広い is an expression meaning "to be well connected, to have many friends".
>make his sentence flow well
For an onahole... you sure are pretty... CHEEKY!
>>4571959
>くぱっ
stretch?
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>>4574029
Thank you, I knew a lot of this seemed off. "Hopeless facial expression" and "While you don't know any better" in particular bugged me, so I appreciate your help.
Also I appreciate you pointing out that "salty" was incorrect, because I had rationalized that as being accurate since they'd just kissed, or something like that. Turns out I was irresponsible when looking up the kanji and only checked the meaning, without looking at the reading, otherwise I'm sure I'd have gotten that right. I'll make sure to be more careful in that regard if I decide to do more.
Also, to put that phrase on page 28 >>4571976 about "soaking" in better English terms, how does "You're my property now, let that sink in" sound? Basically the same meaning, while sounding much more natural in English.
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>>4574029
Actually, if I could ask for further clarification on "While you don't know any better", the phrase 知らない間に essentially means that in this context, right? "While you're not aware" might be a bit more proper. I remember now that I decided on that because バレないように (so that I'm not exposed) and 知らない間に (while you're unaware) in the same sentence felt a little bit redundant in English... I mean, it goes without saying that he would make not to be exposed, especially if he's talking about doing something while she's unaware.
"So that I'm not exposed, I'll cum inside you a whole lot while you're unaware, and knock you up with my kid"
"While you're unaware, I'll cum inside you a whole lot and knock you up with my kid"
The meaning seems to be essentially the same, but I think it works a bit better with fewer words. But, maybe that's just my opinion, and it's preferable to have the full sentence?
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I did the same a few years back. It was fun and the group I stated became fairly popular. The only thing that stopped me was the editing work and it being impossible to find people that would do it consistently. Eventually got a big boy job but I always think about going back to it under a new name.
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>>4574123
It's not really redundant, IMO, but it doesn't add _that_ much to a sentence. It's like if you were explaining sleight of hand to someone: "While I had your attention over here, I _secretly_ did this manouevre." I'd consider バレないように the equivalent of "secretly" here.
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>>4574282
Ah, I see what you're saying. That sounds good to me, so I think I'll go with that, thanks.
And with that I'll begin posting the revised pages. If the anon who uploaded the gallery is still here, just leave that one up and update it with these pages, if you don't mind. I think that would be the more convenient solution.
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>>4574315
So far just minor changes.
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>>4574316
I went with the suggestion from an above anon regarding changing "thanks for the meal." Personally I didn't mind it like that, but I can see how it'd be better like this.
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>>4574319
Probably the smallest change here, just adding the word "secretly."
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>>4574321
Thanks again to that anon for explaining the meaning of 顔が広い, because it also makes the following panels make way more sense. I'd have never known, because the guy left out the が, so I was unable to find the correct phrase. I decided to word it as "popularity" instead to be a bit more concise.
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>>4574331
I said earlier I would use the phrase "sink in," but it reminded me too much of snarky internet comments so I eventually wound up settling on this. I think it works pretty well.
And that's all the revisions, plus >>4572453 which I did earlier. So again, to the uploader anon, please update the gallery when you have the time. Thanks to the anons who helped out, and thanks to everyone who's enjoyed it. It's encouraging to see.
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>>4574336
Uploaded fixes
You should just upload gallery right away and fix things on go next time, just like everyone do. Translation was good from the beggining, fixes didn't change that much. There are much worse enrgish translations uploaded daily
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>>4574577
Thanks for your help. Main reason I didn't do it right away though was because I was afraid I'd made some significant mistakes, and wanted more competent people to proofread it. And there was at least one such mistake. Not to mention, I was able to learn some things from this that I wouldn't have otherwise.
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>>4574792
You'll prolly get more critique on panda, but at least it's not CGRascal tier.
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>>4571933
ORA
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how much to commission you to translate one doujin?
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bump for that editing
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>>4571924
>curvaceous reimu
>faceless male
Not a fan of hypnosis, but beggars can't be choosers
Thread posts: 75
Thread images: 45
Thread images: 45