Hello, /g/. I am a filthy newb when it comes to programing things.

If you're completely new to this, don't start by learning a language. Go learn what pseudocode is. Read lots of sites where people explain how it works to let programmers think about what they want to create. You should learn how to plan a program before you learn how any particular language actually words it. Otherwise you'll learn how things are done without understanding why such a thing is useful.

It depends.

Did you have childhood trauma?
Where you bullied in school?
Did your parents divorce when you were young?

Unironically, python is really good for complete beginners. It's an OOP language which some people don't like, it's not very strict, and it might make transitioning into other more traditional languages could be tougher. That being said, it's really easy to start writing basic programs, and it's very simple to learn.

>>61821906
What if the answer is yes to at least two of those?

>>61821906
- neonatal surgery
- military school
- kinda
What language should I learn?

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>>61823459
You'll do well with C++

>>61824011
Well in that case
>>61821906
Yes
Yes
No

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I want to piggyback this thread instead of making a new one.

>BS & MFA in creative field
>4+ years out of school and 'career' going nowhere
>major depressive disorder
>previous experience with MATLAB, C, MEL (for Maya) but don't remember any of it
>did great through high school calculus (= Calc 1 in college)
>bombed but technically passed Calc 2 & 3 only due to grading curve
>previous job paid less than my dad made in 1990.

Aside from killing myself or prostitution, any ideas for how to change careers to something /g/? Like just some generic programming.
Can I just "learn" a language and then get a job from that or do I have to know what I want to do before I start?

Depression for me means that I have no motivation or desire, so I don't have a target in mind other than a stable career that pays well. My years in school leading to a shit career means I have no confidence in choosing anything to invest my time into.

I kind of just need to follow something like a robot and know it won't lead to a dead end, and if that helps my brain chemistry then I can make more decisions about what I want.

ANSI C

>>61824916
Thanks anon
>>61821657
Op here. After learning this pseudo code, what would be the best way to put it to work in a way that would help me improve?

>>61825009
https://mva.microsoft.com/en-US/training-courses/c-fundamentals-for-absolute-beginners-16169?l=Lvld4EQIC_2706218949

Don't bother with Azure, have fun.

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>>61824511
stay out of maymay tech, creative is a hobby, get a 2 year masters in accounting, stay at the same company for 35 years, retire, get a gold watch, a handshake, and a pension.

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>>61824511
<<<try it

>>61821607
html

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>>61826848
>>61826807
so no matter what I should try to mooch off my parents for another two years of training?

>>61821607
I got just the right pasta for you
So you want to learn programming?
Pick a starting language. For beginners, there are generally two recommended "programming families" that you can choose to start learning:
-Dynamically typed/interpreted programming languages, such as: Python, Perl, Ruby
-Statically typed/compiled programming languages, such as: C, C++, C#

These are amongst the most popular languages in use worldwide, including 4 from the top 5. Both approaches are perfectly fine, and well-documented.
-Dynamically typed programming may be a bit more flexible, convenient, and forgiving. It is more popular in academia.
-Statically typed programming is a bit more suited for making general applications. It is more popular in industries.

Cannot decide? Flip a coin.

If you choose statically typed/compiled programming, you may want to start with C, then pick up C++. C is very well documented, and teaches many universal programming concepts. C++ is based on C, and adds new concepts. Sources:
For C:
The C Programming Language (K&R)
C Primer Plus (Prata)
http://www.cprogramming.com/tutorial/c-tutorial.html
http://www.learn-c.org/

For C++:
http://www.learncpp.com/
http://www.cplusplus.com/doc/tutorial/
http://www.cprogramming.com/tutorial/c++-tutorial.html
http://en.cppreference.com/
https://isocpp.org/faq

If you choose dynamically typed/interpreted programming, you may want to start with Python. It is very easy to pick up. Here are some good sources:
http://www.learnpython.org/
http://www.codecademy.com/en/tracks/python

>BUT I WANT MORE SOURCES!
Read: https://wiki.installgentoo.com/index.php/Programming_resources

>BUT I WANNA START WITH [language x] INSTEAD!
Sure, if you like. But the languages above are considered good for beginners.

>BUT I WANNA MAKE A COOL WEBSITE!
Learn HTML, CSS, and Javascript.

>BUT I WANNA MAKE iPHONE GAMES!
Learn Objective C and/or Swift.

>BUT I WANNA MAKE ANDROID GAMES!
Learn Java.
>BUT I WANNA MAKE PC GAMES!
Learn patience.

>>61826985
Just take in dicks for a living. It'll be easier on you.

>>61827110
Prostitution and being an acrobat have been suggested to me before, but I don't want to do either of them. It'd be easier if I was straight and liked dick though. I would just get a husbando and lie around all day waiting for a hot dicking, then I wouldn't even need to do the prostitution.

>>61827205
if you're not ugly as fuck then just get relativey in shape and be a prostitute, a girl I used to know was one. Full time job, benefits, holidays and she had a shoebox with like 8k in tip money as a secret savings. She only did it for 1 year before going back to work for the family insurance business. Made a shit ton in one year and if you're already considering prostitution...

>>61827205
>>61827233
alternatively assuming I read that right and you're a female. you can make 70k for being pregnant as a donor if you can stand being pregnant for 9 months and have no attachment to the kids. most people pay for everything food and house on top of the payment because they want the child in good health. while your doing that you'll be lactating and can get $60 a bottle of breast milk because those idiots on /fit/ actually go to donor places and buy them thinking it'll help them and to top it off every 10 inches of undyed hair goes for about $300 pocket change up to 2k if it's natural red

could make a solid six figure for one year and be done for a while

>>61827279
>>61827233
I've thought about those things where lonely fat guys pay assloads to play games with a girl over a webcam or whatever. I'd consider that before getting pragnate or hooking. Maybe a kickstarter to get implants and hope it gets overfunded. But shit, I can't even get myself to start a shitty let's play channel, how the fuck would I do those?

That's why I am asking about neckbeard career instead