Tech illiterate retards story

>>61435596
This doesn't make me too mad since it's his own money he's burning.

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I myself am tech illiterate and wiped my MBR and nuked my network card once.

I was trying to install Arch and it all went downhill from there.

Took two weeks for me to figure out how to install a GPU.

I tried replacing mobo pins with paperclips because they fell into my case's cable management nook.

I've already sworn not to breed so as to not taint the genepool.

>Be me
>Study a little bit of everything I am interested in
>Begin reading /g/
>Slip from normie into darth distro
>Can't respect windows and mac users anymore
>Feel like a god among men

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>>61435642
I thought i was the only one

>>61435642
>tfw still on W7 even after 8 years of /g/
Come at me.

>>61435596

are you saying you'd like for your friend to get involved in an accident ?

>stop helping retards years ago
>if they won't stop asking I demand money and the conversation usually ends with hippie tier "oh I thought you were cool anon go fuck yourself"
>stop helping family
>replace all this free time with another shift working remotely

Feels great! Favorite thing is when I get desperate calls and e-mails from shitty jobs I worked at years ago who finally admit they don't know dog shit about the job just like I told them when I did work two pay grades above. They always expect me to do it for free since having to pay me from the job would prove to administration that they in fact don't know shit. So my answer is always, fuck off!

Does anyone have that greentext where a guy let his sister go on his computer and she donates all his bitcoin?

>>61435632
Ahh hello i saw you in the arch thread i made earlier

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>father keeps having driver problems on newer Winturd versions
>keeps calling me for help
>he's pretty tech savvy when it comes to hardware but he's falling behind in software
>even built his own computer with some advice I gave him
>sounds like /g/ and complains that every case looks like "trash made for kids" and wants a big boy industrial design
>talk to him about Ubuntu, explain open source, free as in freedom, and the GPL/MIT lisences
>he's super libertarian so I make him a bootable flash drive
>he was able to install Ubuntu MATE completely on his own and has only called me to ask how to install one obscure program from a tarball

>mother calls me at least once a week to clean out her malware infested Winshit XP laptop
>the thing finally dies, like the software just totally shit itself
>live boot Fedora and check the hardware, everything works, hard drive mounts and half the system files are missing
>transfer about 250GB of photos and documents to an external hard drive over USB 2.0 and cringe hard
>had to leave it overnight
>come back the next day
>transfer is finished
>try to use Winpoo disc to recover the system
>doesn't work
>try some third party recovery options
>still doesn't work
>Winpoo installation is fried
>talk to mom about Ubuntu Budgie
>live boot it and let her try it out
>she loves it
>install it and set everything up
>haven't heard a peep
These are my good stories. Will continue with bad ones.

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>have shitty internet since a week back
>The isp's "tech" finally comes to fix it
>he notices a strange, almost router-like device hooked to the isp's modem-router, but not using the WAN port!
>doesn't realize that strange device acts as an AP since isp's modem-router is shitty in every aspect conceivable
>says problem is this thingamajig and that there cannot possibly be internet access when it's hooked up this way
>also "We aren't responsible for internet issues if you're only using WiFi"
>leaves

Who the fuck trains these guys?

>be me
>me be me
>be me me being
>self being me to be
>college
>networking professor [lab not lecture] has problem with the routers not working with password wpa2 protection it just accepts any password
>its some weird shitty non linksys
>flash openwrt on one
>works
>"cool you fixed it but what happened to the old system¿"
>it was bad i can replace the rest if u want
>asks me to show how
>show once and he gets it and does it for all routers

ok well this wasnt tech illiteracy cuz he was cool and figured it out w/ my help. still tho buy fucking linksys if ur a college lol

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>>61435610

>>61436350
Cont...

>have a friend who gets cryptolocker malware on his phone
>whatthefuckthisisathingnow.gif
>try factory resets, everything short of paying the malware because fuck buttcoin, shit's for Indians
>try to find stock firmware to just nuke the thing over ADB and flash everything back
>of course it's a chinkfone and there's no software to be found
>I'm a slightly rich fag and since this is my best friend I take him to Best Buy and get him a Nexus 6P

>worked in AT&T store when I was 18-19
>this was back in 2009, so smartphones were still kinda new, iPhone 3G was out
>guy comes in and gets one, was kind of a weirdo which is why he stuck in my mind
>comes back in around 10 days later
>says the phone isn't working
>wearenotaservicecenterpleasecallapplel.jpg
>he demands a refund
>gets insanely angry, the rage is palpable
>try to help
>ask what he was doing with it when it stopped working
>"I was just using it and it shut off and the buttons did nothing"
>go to wall socket, grab charger and plug it in
>Apple logo comes right up
>have to explain that batteries are a chemical compound that stores electricity, and that you have to recharge smartphones every so often
>he leaves the store like a happy little tard

Another AT&T story
>fancy business guy in a full suit and tie walks in
>buys a BlackBerry
>tries arguing with me about the cost of the plan
>explain that I have no control over it
>he flips his shit and demands to speak to the manager
>manager comes out and says the same
>irate business guy smashes the $600 Blackberry against the wall and storms out
>we filed a police report

>parents give me 1000 to build them a new pc, after their xp pc was getting too slow to use
>3770, 8gb ddr3, gtx 650 ti, this thing was pretty cool to build, the nicest I'd gotten to build at least
>Thing churns through boot and applications like budda, parents love it
>Leave them to it for a couple years
>"Anon our computer is slowing down"
>Check it out, things are definitely sluggish, decide to check inside
>Pop off side panel
>Half inch thick layer of dust on everything
>Cpu fan isn't even running, having been gummed to a halt by dust and shit
>Check hwmonitor, fan is ramped to 100% all times.
>Mfw parents are fucking lucky they never pushed it hard enough to thermal shutdown
>Mfw the 212 Evo has been passively cooling my parents i7 for I don't know how long

>>61435596
>It blocks itself
>No it's just that the log in expires
>It blocks itself
>It's fine you just have to relog
>It blocks itself

>be me, 18 yo
>take father's old router and repurpose it as a switch
>connect it such that my computer and my brother's computer are connected to the switch, not his
>2 weeks go by, nothing wrong
>comcast does what comcast does, internet issues all day
>dad takes the switch
>ask for it back, he says no
>tries to blame me for all the issues
>went as far as telling me to call comcast
>computer proceeds to have no internet

I just said screw him. I disconnected the conection between the tv and modem sincethe tv very rarely uses it anyway. He hasn't noticed and it has been several months since it happened.

>>61435642
>God*

*Man-child Autist

But Hey you can be anything you want inside your own head.

>>61436597
> their xp pc was getting too slow to use
> gtx 650 ti
> they never pushed it hard enough to thermal shutdown
>3770
Wait. Who's the tech illiterate there, you or them?

>>61436714
What a sad fuck to be offended by something like that. Did you honestly think he was being serious?

>>61435701
You're gay and all your shits all fucked up.

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>>61435596
>>Friend buys over priced intel cpu
>>Ebay
>>has no thermal paste on it
>>Clearly used
>>installs it as is
>>pc shutsdown due to over heating
>>question why we're friends
>>tell him to go and buy thermal paste
>>11pm
>>doesnt wants to wait
>>uses crazy glue instead
stopped talking to that moron

>>61437036
>stopped talking to that moron

I'm considering doing this with a bunch of people because more often than not I keep asking myself why am I actually bothering talking to these idiots? I mean, what's there to gain?

>it's time for friend to upgrade gpu
>buys 390x
>always problems, crashes, disconnects, replaces psu
>A little better
>replaces mobo, ram and cpu, buys 6700k on sale instead of waiting for ryzen
>buys overpriced mobo
>doesn't even OC

>Half a year passes, still random crashes and his 390x is at 105c under load
>advice him to rma it
>he buys a 1080 out of the blue for his 1080p 60hz screen
>390x is still just in a box

Same guy, just yesterday
>he's at his parents house for the summer
>they have a shit router, everything crawls to a halt if hes doing something
>he doesn't replace it while they are away en every though they have a better one
>he comes on voice chat, lagging
>says he's transferring files over the network
>3MB/s
>ask why he didn't use a External hard drive
>they're usb2
>he still hasn't put then inside his pc
>they would still be 10x faster than his horrible network

He just never listens.

>>61436918
The specs are the new rig, oh observant one

>>61437296
>Buying some of the best gaming components on the market right now is retarded

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>be me
>gf likes gaming, wants her own gaming PC
>her gay cousin who thinks he is a God at everything texts me asking about where I got my 4k monitor
>bro its a 1080p
>tells me that he wants a 4k monitor for a PC he is building
>he expects to push 4k gaming on a 1060 3gb
>he also wanted to build the same one for my gf
>tell him that he won't get 4k out of a 1060 for what he wants it for
>tell him to get a 1080p screen and to put a 6gb card into my gf's system, since she plays loads of games and he only plays world of Warcraft
>goes on to tell me that she will never use 6gbs of vram
>tell him that my 960 4gb is going out of date fast for games since the amount of vram isnt as good anymore
>tell him to trust me
>he tells me "trust me im a software developer"
>studies it in college
>even though we are talking about hardware
>let it be and decide to design the system for my gf myself since he hasnt a clue
>she agrees after I show her the shit he wanted her to have just because the system is perfect for him

>find out a few weeks later that instead of buying the PC he spent the money he saved on an iPhone 7, even though he had the iPhone 6

Tl;dr if you have to back up your statement with your vocation your statement wasn't strong enough to be valid in the first place

>>61437036
You didn't tell him the mayonnaise trick?

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here
have this

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>>61438169

>>61438169
>assembly
>most paid

>>61438061
This works?

>>61438180
Can't stand here and her Apple shilling.
>dur mac still better for development becuz windoze pcs crash every ten seconds
As if she hasn't used one since XP.

>>61437881
>gay cousin
okay bro

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>>61435701
I actually used debian before coming here, after reading all the waste time stories with arch I kind of wanted to go back to windows but after learning that all OS including linux had back doors and even the hardware itself is compromised I went back to windows 7 and now 10 ltsb, I won't make myself a target using some retarded snowflake configuration

>>61438843
There are 100% free GNU/Linux distros out there, like Trisquel for instance. Also, Core2 CPU's don't have backdoors from what I've heard.

>>61436139
Enjoy having no friends to assist you when you need help

>>61436509
you don't know how to greentext

>>61438920
>from what I've heard.
Top security mate.

>>61439666
thanks satan