You all remember it as a little kid or ignorant tween. Your pulse

One of those popups pretending to be your antivirus
Except I didn't have one so I was like "Fuck this I'm getting Dad"

Keep calm and reinstall Windows then pirate a antivirus

let norton take care of it :)

>download skin for icq
>it's a .scr virus
>disables task manager and completely fucks the windows install after a reboot
>no windows install cd
and i didn't know about linux back then. i went 3 months without my computer.

I use Apple, never had a virus, never will.

>Run an exe thinking it was porn.
>It showed a nude girl in a top hat.
>The computer then rebooted and my hard disk was wiped.

It was worth it.

kek no fucking idea first time I watched porn and then closed internet explorer my desktop was full of gambling and porn websites

>>61142784
>no windows install cd
>CD

Kids these days don't know about reinstalling windows with 15 floppy disks.

Computer locked up completely while I was browsing shitty pixel hentai, held the power button in packing to force a shutdown, then called dad on the reboot and said it crashed out of the blue.

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>think I know about computers as a little teenager
>update codec packs and feel like a badass
>go to watch porn
>YOU NEED THIS CODEC TO WATCH THIS VIDEO!
>Ha, of course that's the problem!
>Feel even more intelligent that I know what a codec does
>Download Codec.exe
>it infects every single non windows .exe file on my computer
>can't open any of those files
>feel like a dumbass

YOU ARE AN IDIOT
HAHA HA HA HAA HA HAAA HAHA HA HA HAAAAAA
YOU ARE AN IDIOT
HAHA HA HA HAA HA HAAA HAHA HA HA HAAAAAA
YOU ARE AN IDIOT
HAHA HA HA HAA HA HAAA HAHA HA HA HAAAAAA
YOU ARE AN IDIOT
HAHA HA HA HAA HA HAAA HAHA HA HA HAAAAAA

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My father was downloading flash game .exes and shit like Britney_Stripping.exe
......yeah

I got one that would send an image of a firetruck with wailing sirens across the screen.

Pretty funny tbqh.

>>61142821
apple is my favorite operating system

and even though macOS is famous for being secure, it doesnt mean you'll never ever get infected by a virus. you just gotta wait till wikileaks leaks an NSA macOS exploit that didnt get detected by apple and youre fucked, easy

>>61142696
click an ad by accident
pc freezes as millions of porn pages of all types of straight gay whatever floods my screen

fuckin hell that shit was aggravating. esp since anyone who viewed your history would think you searched the popup pages on your own.
lawl

>>61142696
No idea. All viruses always got caught by the anti virus.
Then after 2007, I just stopped having any.

>>61142696
Dunno. Load of pirating and testing shit for fun back then. I migh have caught a few viruses, but im unsure anymore since only had browser issues and issues running games.
In all honesty, it might have been my dad removing shit since he was actuall in the technology field at the time, and to top it off, he used it the most, but soon, was discovered to only be watching porn and tried to blam it on me, since i was approacing that age, but lucky me, i was "more informed" than ost my age and only used the internet to pirate and add shit to my archive which no longer exists...
Its hard finding old shit now. 90% of links are either 404'd, redirected elsewhere, seized due to law regulations, no longer have it, switched their target audence, or other.

>>61143160
>more unregistered keys
Fuck this.

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>>61142866
>15

>>61143194
Don't! Remind me..

Ransomware. The one that says you've been watching illegal things and buying drugs. Except I was like twelve and watching youtubers.

Downloaded cracked nod32 and problem solved.

>be 10 or 11
>get to borrow laptop from a friend of my dad for a while
>he needs it back after some time
>says he's going to reformat anything
>think "fuck it let's visit every shady porn site I can find and masturbate" the night before I give it back
I don't know what effects it had but I'm pretty sure I caught a few virusses that time.

>>61142696
I've never had a virus and I don't know how to get one. Malware, adware, sure, but a straight up ransomware or drive wiper virus I have never had. My friends always tell me I should use anti-virus to protect myself but I don't even have UAC enabled and I'm fine. I don't know if they're retarded or I'm just lucky.

"parity check" boot sector virus. spread it to my school when i brought games on a discette.

>>61144605
sincerely: enjoy your botnet

>>61142696
Songname.exe from Limewire. I wasn't stupid enough to think it wasn't fishy but I was stupid enough to be curious and open it. It opened more shit and installed toolbars and shitty software that kept opening after I closed it. Messed around with task manager trying to deal with it, eventually I was forced to learn how to install Windows, so all good.

>>61142986
Unless someone targets you personally, it'll be worthless. And if someone targets you personally, you're fucked unless they are an idiot.

>>61144889
>Unless someone targets you personally, it'll be worthless.
what is petya

The only virus I got was by fucking around with a custom virus dev kit - ended up infecting myself with it (empty payload tho)
Fun part was that it was BIOS-persistant : It could survive HDD formatting.

>2008
>Used IE because why not
>Go on the family computer to look at some wikia page
>Turns out an ad on that page contained a dropper to coolwebsearch
>Search for something else on google
>Every search result is redirected to a malware infested link
>fuck.jpg
Luckily spybot was able to remove the bullshit. Shit about scared me to death when it happened.

>>61144901
A boring Russian cyber attack which will only affect you if you're silly enough to download the file starting it.

She was just a humble memory-resident reset-proof bootsector virus with a generation counter. I never named her.

Someone saw my source code a few swaps down the line and we exchanged addresses so we could send floppy disks to each other directly. She called herself Lucky Lady, lived in Slovenia. Her penmanship was almost as good as her VXing.

The first floppy disk she sent me had a bootsector virus which encrypted and decrypted sectors on the fly using some crazy table routine I couldn't understand at the time. I could only read it after I booted it, had to use a reset cartridge glitch attack to dump the data.

When I opened one of the crackmes in the debugger, the debugger crashed and displayed a message that "Lucky Lady is your empress !". Turns out the executable had a symbol table which exploited a buffer overflow in the most common debugger on the platform - first time I'd ever seen a buffer overflow.

She's been gone to the world over 20 years now. Genius work.

I guess Sapphire was the last really beautifully-crafted worm. The modern era of malware authors are all in it for the money (or their country). It's just not the same. No time for art anymore. Pity.

>>61145041
wrong you dumbass
anybody on your LAN gets infected and your machine isn't patched?
your fucked.

i remember my first virus, was a fucking fake antivirus rouge, fuckign jesus, the virus itself started to create "child porn" *.ink files on the desktop without stop, i remember i got this on a local internet cafe, thank god they dint notice that i was the one that downloaded it

>>61145104
>anybody on your LAN gets infected
And how is that supposed to happen? Oh right, someone needs to be dumb enough to download the file.

Besides, what kind of shithead doesn't make backups all the time? Given how the guy was talking about Applel, even the most casual users are encouraged to do a TimeMachine backup. So even in worst case scenario, you lose like 30 minutes.

>>61145099
Damn, that was beautiful.

>>61144901
A ransomware framework written by JANUS (@[email protected]) from northern Russia.

>>61145104
No, the variant that uses ETERNALBLUE is known as "notpetya" (amongst other names, but that is the name JANUS uses), and is not actually ransomware: it doesn't really have a way to unlock, it's a pure wiper, possibly a nation-state attack targeted against Ukraine from someone who stole petya sourcecode?

>>61145236
>not actually ransomware
never talked about that
only talked about the fact that whoever on your LAN has it can transmit it to you silently if you have an unpatched SMB

>>61145236
Why would they do it in such a stupid way though? They could get some money first and then just do nothing. If it was supposed to look like an amateur attack, it sure as fuck didn't work out either.

>>61145316
they got around $10000 i believe.

>>61145331
shutdown.exe -a

>>61145234
She really was. We exchanged letters, and later emails, for years (until she, sadly, committed suicide). She did some crazy shit. An early multipartite linkvirus. One of the first real attempts at a metamorphic virus.

She also did a bootsector which used 32-bit long instructions for a large part of it (unusually), then it jumped halfway through one instruction to complete a loop - and the rest of the loop turned out to be the same code, but 16-bits offset, interleaved... the virus didn't actually fit in the bootsector so she did that instead of using a FAT sector. I still have no idea how she set that one up. You see it occasionally for one instruction or two in really exotic copy protection schemes on like the Apple ][ and stuff, but never anything like that.

I think she also used to exchange messages with the guy who wrote the main virus killer on the platform at the time, Richard Karsmakers?

>>61145349
That message was just a symptom of the worm, you could abort the shutdown but it'd just happen again. It was a byproduct of the worm's spreading routine.

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>>61143194
>3711

I broke her legs and now her fatass is just occupying my harddrive. She's over 30 GB now and it's worrying me a little

>>61142696
> Windows XP era
> Go about my daily business
> Firewall alerts me that lsass.exe had tried to access the internet
> Remember reading in newspaper about the new worldwide "Sasser" virus infecting everyone
> notonmywatch.jpg
> Find out where the file is located, hiding in system32 won't save you
> Attempts deleting it
> "This file is in use and cannot be deleted"
> FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT
> Do some convoluted fuckery involving removing write protection and moving it into a new folder structure then toggling write protection on and off for all files and folders in all subfolders
> Manage to finally delete the dangerous virus
> Feel smug and proud because I defeated the evil virus that eluded so many other so called "computer experts"
> Turn off computer and go sleep laughing about how dumb normies are compared to me
> Next day turn on computer
> Computer shows blue background with mouse pointer forever, never actually moving on to the login screen
> Reboot, Reboot, Reboot, Reboot
> Login screen is missing completely
> Try loading last working config, doesn't work
> Try safe mode, doesn't work
> well_fuq.exe
> Admit defeat and reinstall OS, loosing all my shit in the process because what is backups, no external or secondary hard drives
> Go online later and look up lsass.exe
> "This file is a Windows system file related to the login system. It is super important and should not be touched."
> wellthatexplainsthat.png
> Feel like a fucking dumbass for a good week after

And that is the story of my first "virus".

>>61142696
I got ransomeware on my dads tablet that said i was watching cp. He didnt even use the tablet so i used it to watch porn. It pretended to be the fbi and i fucking believed it. They said they would contact family and extended family within 3 days. If i didnt pay 500 within 2 days, the price increased 500 each day all the way up to 10000. I fucking waited around 3 days and fbi never came. Relieved asf. Problem was the virus was still there. It was so bad you couldnt even use the power button to do a hard shutdown. I just left it, battery died. One day 2 yrs later saw my dad throwing it out. I asked why, and he said he never used the thing since he got it and it was no use to sell because he actually was going to but cracked the screen really bad after he dropped it to take ebay pictures. He never fucking knew.

>>61142696
I honestly don't even remember.

It was over 15 years ago.

>>61144889
Similar story, was trying to find some incredibly obscure song on limewire. Made the same mistake twice, google led me to that brute force thing, fixed it both times. Might've had viruses prior to that, but nothing that Spybot Search & Destroy didn't automatically deal with. Malwarebytes doesn't have the fun chess puzzle game.

>>61142696
coolwebsearch

>>61142696
My first one was a nasty one that disabled task manager, licked all programs and started to download pc booster shit and antivirus software.

Thank god my first pc was slow as fuck, i could use it like 2 minutes after a reboot before the thing got enough power to block everything. I knew all the folders and just deleted the new one and it was broken.

I had no viruses since 2009 and i never used an antivirus.

>>61142696
I remember turning my computer on years ago and finding that it got infected with ransomware and all my files got encrypted. Luckily, I made a recent backup, so I lost almost nothing, except some unimportant files. I ended up just wiping my computer and reinstalling Windows. It scared me to death though.

>>61143194
Is this real? I thought floppy disks had phased out by the time Windows 8.1 came out.