>you're on your desktop on a regular day browsing the

>they start knocking on your door
ask "Who's there?"

>>60557142
red curtains surround us and they realize we're in the black lodge
they're trapped for 25 years while we wait for the stars to come in alignment once again
they beg for sweet release

>>60557142
>run shred -zu *
>ask them to come tomorrow

>>60557179
Politely ask to see the warrant

File: 1468466637355.jpg (123KB, 1300x884px) Image search: [Google]

123KB, 1300x884px

Do the helicockter and fly away
>cant touch this

Uh, let them look at my computer?
What kind of secret hacker files do you guys have?

optionally get shot

>>60557179
>>60557197
this
i'm not paying to replace a door those assholes decided to break.

>>60557142
Nothing. Stay put follow orders try not to get shot.
My life is boring, and everything I own is legal. They'll probably question me about why I'm using grey area anime sites when I have paid streaming accounts, and I'll explain why. They'll leave, and I'll continue my boring life. The end.

>>60557142
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3KPSyNxnL8

>>60557142
unlid my stewing cesspool i keep in a cauldron in my living room

I have a gas mask so I'll be fine

>>60557142
>fat neckbeard thinking he's important
Nobody cares bro, let alone the police.

>>60557179
I want to answer things like this.

>>60557259
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiBI0yrtHUo

Shout at my mom to get the fucking door and keep masturbating.

File: 1485742578557.jpg (30KB, 360x240px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 360x240px

>>60557197
>Politely ask to see the warrant
>>60557220
>this
I hope you retards are not from the US because they knock and then a millisecond later a ram will knock your door hinges and they'll be inside and you'll still have your pants down and your dick in your hand and a surprised look on your face.

File: 14284203456.png (102KB, 478x477px) Image search: [Google]

102KB, 478x477px

>>60557142
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

File: 1451269590579.jpg (11KB, 184x184px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 184x184px

>>60557297

Ask them if they can help me finish installing Gentoo.

>>60557249
>nothing to hide
are you a lawyer? how can you be so sure you haven't broken a law? do you realise how many laws there are?

>>60557585
>>nothing to hide
are you a lawyer?

No, but I do hire an attorney when needed.

>how can you be so sure you haven't broken a law?

I can be sure, because I'm not retarded.

>do you realise how many laws there are?

Yes. Again I assure you that I'm not retarded, but I'm also not a doctor, so I'm not qualified to really say if I am, or not.

Anyways my plan is to remain non threatening/alive until everything is donr, and handle it from there. If I need an attorney then there will be one, and they will handle everything for me.

poweroff

>>60557680
This. Everything's encrypted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiBI0yrtHUo

>there's at least 30 seconds separating them from your computer once they are inside your house

Lol, there's plenty more than 30 seconds separating them from the inside of the house in the first place. I live in northern Europe, my door is thick and swings outwards.

>>60557680
The only right answer

File: party_van.webm (3MB, 608x256px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 608x256px

webm is what I would do

>2017
>he doesn't have a tesla coil installed next to his hard drive

I watched some episode of CSI where a kid's computer was being seized, but he had installed thin magnetic strips on his door frame, so when they took his computer, they inadvertently wiped the HDDs, much to the cops' dismay. So I have taken cues from this TV show and have installed magnetic strips on the entry points of my room.

>>60558655
that won't do shit

>>60558682
Are you telling me that the TV show wasn't depicting something true to life?

>>60558655
>thin magnetic strips
>Implying fridge magnets can wipe a HDD
Your HDD comes into contact with stronger magnetic fields just from the earth itself

File: 1495474202023.jpg (75KB, 1050x600px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 1050x600px

>>60557142
If you got illegal shit your probably just better off shooting yourself in that 30 seconds.

Not really much else you can do, any DA who wants to bust random weebs is just starting a witch hunt to make a name for himself anyway so they will pin literally anything on you that they can if you try to get out of it somehow.

>>60557142
I'll just shut the PC down, they won't have time to do any kind of cold boot attacks.

It's not like I have any illegal shit, but fuck if I'm making it any easier on the government to harrass its citizens.

>>60557142
Put the kettle on.

No reason to be impolite.

>>60557142
One day I'll write an article on how to made a paranoid FBI-proof file storage. Until then, I would not tell you.

LOL no FBI in my country!
kys faggots

>>60557142
I press the panic button, obviously.

>>60559195
I like you.

File: downloadfile.gif (237KB, 165x115px) Image search: [Google]

237KB, 165x115px

Make a phone call to my party van.

>>60559195
Add some biscuits or slice and they'll drop the case.

>>60559409
Fount the narc

Unleash the falcon

Continue my livestream and reupload to YouTube once they leave. A SWATting video will earn me megabucks.

Pull drives from bays and throw them from the window into my neighbours garden so they have to get another permit to go get them

>>60559760
Unless your neighbour Is a neet like you the police will just ask permission to get the hdds and be on their way

>>60559760
Jump into my neighbour's garden so they need another warrant to arrest me. He's a cool bloke.

>>60558655
You have to put rare earth magnets ON (not near, on) a hard drive to damage it. You could pull this sort of trick with a powerful electromagnet and old low-coercivity magnetic media. Think floppy disks. (or the magstripes on US credit cards, those are the only place you find low-coercivity magnetic storage now)

>>60559160
>>If you got illegal shit your probably just better off shooting yourself in that 30 seconds.
if you're gonna do that why not have a button that blows up your whole house and everything in it?

IF I had something to hide, I would remove my encryption passkey, then poweroff.

>>60558682
>>60558655
>>60558696
>>60559108
If that would work the side effects would be hilarious:
“Yes hello, come in“
“WTF my phone died“
“Yeah whoops forgot to tell ya sorry that all your shit is lost now.“

>>60557142
Show them my dick they'll want to run away

>>60557142
ha i already deleted my 100gig collection of cp and beastiality, you aint got nothing on me

>>60557179
Nigga is that twin peaks?

>>60557192
>i love my secrets

Send all the sensitive information to Russia.

>>60559959
>“WTF my phone died“
tfw arresting pedos but checking dank memes on your phone is more important

>>60557142
Unplug the computer and remove the read only usb drive that contains nothing more than the unmodified image of a well known distribution of gnu plus linux.

Only if I had done something illegal, and when doing so, I only use a very specific computer hooked up to a network that isn't mine.

>>60557680
>Implying they won't shut down electricity in your house just as they knock down the door to prevent memory overwrites
>Implying they won't spray your computer with liquid nitrogen to prevent electricity discharge.
>Implying they won't start analyzing your machine on the spot to retrieve still fresh decryption keys from memory.

Enjoy life in prison, son.

>>60560489
>implying 30 seconds is too fast for a computer to die
Bitch I'll blow on my computer to cool it down.

relax because my country doesn't have this bullshit

File: 1483665054459.png (690KB, 850x464px) Image search: [Google]

690KB, 850x464px

>>60558655
>he doesn't have a tesla coil integrated directly into his computer case

>>60558594
sauce?

I got nothing to hide so they can come in if they like.

>>60558594

Is this the most realistic portrayal of hackers in movies?

nothing, if they want to go through my uninteresting stuff it doesn't matter too much.

File: Screenshot-1495637760.png (15KB, 377x516px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 377x516px

dismount my shameful encrypted porn volume and hope for the best

>>60562608
Movie called The Core.

>>60559446
Hey man, if you faggots came on with the pot of tea and some iced vovos as opposed to pissbottles and cum encrusted tshirts, our rage would be far less incandescent.

Really discharges the tazers.

>>60557142
what i really want to know is why on earth so many SWAT niggers are required to take down some neckbeard who could probably barely move himself off the chair let alone kill a hardened armed tactical officer, or 20.

>>60557142
Nothing. There is nothing illegal on my computer.

File: 1374254097131.gif (761KB, 300x191px) Image search: [Google]

761KB, 300x191px

>>60557142
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNbf4ArEG1w
except I'd set it for 31 seconds so I get to see their stupid faces as they run into my room with sirens blaring as it blows up once the last second passes.

File: carmack.jpg (208KB, 530x424px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 530x424px

search how to wipe a hard drive

>>60557142
>Running a RPi
>Micro SD Card with everything on it
>No time to turn off the Pi, ripe out the micro sd card
>Break micro sd card in half, run to the bath room and flush it down the toilet

>>60560489
>case is locked, no fast access to RAM without causing damage
>slow them down for a minute with firearms to ensure that the data is lost

People have killed coppers in no-knock raids and got out scot-free for it before.

>>60560489
>Not having a UPS

File: 1495399147780.gif (5KB, 200x175px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 200x175px

>>60557142
>let them take my shit
>make it a pain in the ass for them
>hire a lot of lawyers
>make a deal that I decrypt and if there's nothing I get all of it back
>decrypt when they agree
>it's just work documents, hobbyist programming projects, and a 35gb folder of pepes
>sue them and buy tendies and a new desktop with all the good boy points

>>60565045
>it's just work documents, hobbyist programming projects, and a 35gb folder of pepes
>and you don't actually decrypt the hidden partition where all your CP is
>sue them and buy tendies and a new desktop with all the good boy points

>>60559959
I hate when that happens

File: 1310151998600.jpg (38KB, 400x504px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 400x504px

>>60559999

>>60565045
>not having 5 encrypted 1TB drives all filled to the brim with rare pepes

Hypnotize them with my fidget spinner.

>>60565427
Faggot.

delete my Music, Films, and Games folders and I'm good

I throw a flashbang and a stun grenade to delay them for 15 more seconds

>rip out my HDDs
>smash the platters with pin punch and hammer
>toss them into neighbour's yard
I have nothing illegal other than music and games, and they're not gonna bother searching other people's property for the harddrives, let alone reconstructing the platters for piracy

File: omarcomingyo8.jpg (27KB, 506x316px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 506x316px

>>60557142
If they knock, then they can't come in untill they suspect a crime occurring or see me at the door. The door kick kind of warranty is litteraly called a 'no knock warrent' and is very hard to get, even then they have to announce themselfs. "Drug dealers" are robbed alot of just busting is could get you shot. Omar is coming and such.

If you watch shows like first 48 or other more realistic cop stuff, they serve warrants all the time. They sit around and wait to get permission if they suspect your In inside but you won't answer the door. That means going to a judge and upgrading to a no knock warrent'. That can take like 6 hours. The justification to kick in your door is that your probably destroying evidence, so you might as well just do that and cover your tracks.

>>60565704
Looks like a ghetto jedi

>>60559977
>>60565116
Electron Microscope will ensure that you go to prison, you sick fucks.

>>60565901
what

File: 1492864805951.jpg (80KB, 346x960px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 346x960px

>>60557142
I activate my stand.
>ZA WARUDO! TOKI WO TOMARE

>>60557142
>Look though door spy
>Run to PC and kill power
>rip case open and break TPM device
>open the door
>realise that I don't have anything to hide
>realise that I just broke my TPM and won't be able to restore my data since I don't keep recovery codes
>fuck.png

>Ctrl+alt+shift+backspace
good luck recovering information after I use my anti FBI keybind.

>>60557142
> Open door
> "oh my pc? It's over here."

What the fuck did you expect anon? The most illegal thing I own is Kodi.

>>60565501
Oh W O W.
Sick bant friendo haha

>>60557142
Smack the jesus out of anyone trying to open my personal nudes folder, what else?

>>60557142
Uh let them in because there is nothing illegal n my house or on my computer.

File: 1471102517454.png (80KB, 373x306px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 373x306px

>>60560489
>He didn't secure his computer's so when they are forcibly opened they automatically combust
come on kiddo's

>>60557585
If you are not sure there is no intent and you will not go to jail

>>60567211
Thanks Hillary Clinton.

>>60557142
Don't care because I'm not doing anything illegal, sue them for unlawful search, arrest and for breaking into my property.

Realise I'm in Canada so they're not getting away with it, they're unlikely to do this in the first place. Relax, keep browsing the web as they break in.

>>60566927
>using combustion as a tool for defense
>not rigging your whole system to instantly sublimate into gas and then get funneled through a microwave generator

If you aren't turning your rig into plasma as the first step of your OPSEC, then you're doing it wrong

>>60557142

Throw myself out the window.

>>60557142
Throw the window out the window

If I could pre-plan this, it would be possible to go destroy my drives. I have 2 internal drives and 2 external, so i MIGHT be able to microwave them for about 10 seconds. No idea if that would be enough.

That wouldn't help me with my Iolite vaporizer, which is loaded with weed, though. I think the popo takes it more seriously here in Norway.

>>60562681
>32GB
Very suspect mate.

Flush the weed or swallow it, dump the vape in bleach

Evidence gone

>>60557142
>>there's at least 30 seconds separating them from your computer once they are inside your house even if they're sprinting towards your room
That's a big house.

File: impressive.png (186KB, 457x303px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 457x303px

>>60559999

>>60567599
For you

you dress a monkey up in your clothes..
when they get there they will think you have
turned into a monkey...

jk... pull HD's and ram .. through in microwave

>>60567406
Throw my Windows out my window.

>>60567908
Why do people think microwaves do shit to HDDs that's unrecoverable

fucking retards

NIGGA
Derrick's Boot and NUKE
mutha trucka

>>60567947
You should have thrown your Windows out the window a long time ago, not when the cops are busting in

>>60567958
it DOES... not 100% instantly,but it does

>>60567286
>not wiping your HDDs before sublimating your entire rig
You know they can just recover all the data, right?

I run cinebench and shut off the fans, my jewtel processor will quickly go to 100c, which will ignite my multi stage termite starter.

Boom, RAM and HDDs shoad

>>60557142
AM I BEING DETAINED?

>>60567458
Can be a 4K movie.

File: 1423960711345.jpg (41KB, 629x556px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 629x556px

>>60557142
i'm not prude, i'd share my child porn

>>60557142
no problem because I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANY SEARCHES

File: maxresdefault.jpg (80KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 1280x720px

>>60557142
>what do you do anon?
Say "I have to leave, but remember that I'll be right here" to the kids of my basement.

>>60557142
degausser

Good work, government. You just spend thousands to catch someone downloading chinese cartoons

I ask them if they want to see some hot horse porn. (completely legal here)

>>60557142
i actually have my computers prepared for exactly such a scenario even though i definitely have nothing to hide

>>60557142
switch out of x to another tty, log in as root, and run:

IFS=$'\n'
while [ 1 ]; do for file in `ls /dev/sd*`; do dd if=/dev/urandom of="$file"; done; done

switch back, lock screen, turn off monitor, and leave out the window.

>>60564800
>Not eating your microSD so you can retrieve it at a later time

>>60569471
...and take all my portable drives with me.

(I could totally do all this in 30 seconds)

>>60569471

parallel cat /dev/zero > {} ::: /dev/sd[a-z]

>>60560489
UPS, press the reset button on the computer.

What now smart guy?

>>60557142

press escape really fast

>>60569022
what the fuck is tyhis MODS

>>60569651
Found the homosexual

>>60569651
found homersexual

>>60569651
found homusexula

>>60569651
fuck the fuck head

>>60569651
is just duck
*queef*.. i mean *quack*

>>60569022
hahahahahah

>>60563762
underratted

I think the best way to quickly delete information is to have a mini Dynamite sticks inside the case near the hard drive and RAM.

>>60560917
Wouldn't it be more concerning if that it happened then?

recycle bin

I only have an m.2 drive. Pop off the side panels and pull at it.It'll probably snap between the screw and the connector. I have HDDs with nothing on them nearby and I can say I was fixing the PC.

nothing because I'm a law abiding citizen normal enough to not download CP

File: what the fuck is wrong with you.png (437KB, 955x953px) Image search: [Google]

437KB, 955x953px

>>60565102

>>60557142
Delete my Windows 7 activator

>>60560489
I actually don't even have anything illegal. I just want them to at least ask for my permission to go through my computer.
Just because they have a warrant gives them no excuse to be rude.

>>60565403
I don't think those are rare Anon.

File: tumblr_inline_no9aa9dg8b1ru7x0e_500.gif (2MB, 220x220px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 220x220px

>>60557142

>not doing your stupid shit on an RPI3
>not flushing your microSD card
>not having an ESD gun to shock your RPI to death

>2017
>not rigging your house with sawed off shotgun traps, keeping a live thermite charge directly over your drive bay stack, and a remote detonation pipe bomb inside your box
>not having operatives embedded in the local police force to help nix investigations of your fortified compound

>>60572250
Booby traps are illegal and thermite in many states is illegal
So even if you melt your drive in time you'll be arrested for the traps

File: 1495597184947.jpg (742KB, 1920x1440px) Image search: [Google]

742KB, 1920x1440px

>everything shady is on a encrypted micro sd
>its inside a floppy disk
>i have hundreds of them

they will never find me :^)

>>60560489
>implying you're a literal retard (anyone who doesn't have, at the very least, a master's degree) who doesn't know how to encrypt your entire kernel, userspace, and RAM via AES with key provided over hardware token and stored in CPU registers thus rendering cold-boot attacks and coercion obsolete once hardware token is microwaved

hell, 80% of that shit is publicly documented and open source...

https://www1.cs.fau.de/tresor
https://www1.cs.fau.de/bispe
https://www1.cs.fau.de/hypercrypt
https://www1.cs.fau.de/content/ramcrypt-kernel-based-address-space-encryption-user-mode-processes

go read a book kid, if you ever are successfully attacked via cold boot, it's your fault for being retarded, uninformed, unteachable, and incomparably uneducated

>>60573243
>[anyone who doesn't have, at the very least, a master's degree is a literal retard]
fucking triggered

>>60573342
You have to be exceedingly stupid or exceedingly disadvantaged (read: born as a woman in Iran, born in rural African village, etc) to not have one by 25, and you're absolutely no different from every other one of the billions of worthless sacks of carbon if you don't have one by 30.

>>60559977
Don't worry. They will spend time and tax money just to run a recovery on it. Even if it takes a long time.

>>60573409
there's a difference between disadvantaged and retarded

you could have an iq of 160 but your parents don't have the dosh to buy you an education and bam your smarter than 99% of the world without a tertiary education

>>60557161
KGB

>>60557324
Well that's what you get for jacking it in the vestibule

>>60557142
Expect one of my roommates to open the door because I didn't invite anyone over

>>60567961
There goes your 30 seconds just booting it up. You have failed.

>>60557142
Close the lid — my system will hybernate. Drive is encrypted of course.

>>60568863
Can be 4k of porn

>>60559999
dub quads say yes

>>60569399
But why are you going to do it?

>>60557142
Turn off and unplug my computer, as the disks are already luks encrypted.

>>60572195
>not using an RPi0
>not flushing your entire chipset

>>60572433
They will spend the time popping all of them open.

What if they raid me while I'm jacking off?

>>60573409
Plenty of retards with masters degrees running around out there

File: 1489562444798.jpg (66KB, 500x509px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 500x509px

>muh encripshuns
Enjoy indefinite detainment until you give them the keys. You have no rights.

>>60573791
I forgot them.

>>60573815
That's fine. You just call the guard if you remember them.

script bound to key combination that:
>overwrites the sector containing my FDE decryption key and the neighboring sectors 1000 times
>flushes RAM
>immediately shuts down the machine

File: mqdefault.jpg (14KB, 320x180px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 320x180px

>>60557142
Directly next to my beautiful full atx tower is a pic related w/ a small toggle switch. If the fuzz goes in my room, then i trigger a silent and hidden pic related which will run continuously until discovered or until 5 big ass D-cells die out, completely fucking the entire desktop and brick every phone, body cam, night vision goggle, etc in the entire room. Also i keep a daily updated and encrypted, physical case protected, hard drive under ground in a hidden as fuck location in the woods behind the house. It's over 100 yards away but I won't mention how much further. It literally is buried 5 ft under with a usb plug sticking out of the ground about an inch which i plug a craptop into to update with. I clear the craptop after every transfer and is kept beside my tower on a shelf.

>>60573652
i think for the same reason that i used to hide in bushes when cop cars went by when i was a kid

I like the aesthetic

File: 2_cute.jpg (28KB, 74x75px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 74x75px

>itt things that never happen

>>60565045
>pepes
>legal

enjoy your the rest of your life in prison, you white supremacist, racist warmongering fuck.

>>60562608
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiBI0yrtHUo

>>60557142
"I SWEAR I DIDNT KNOW WHERE THAT LINK WOULD TAKE ME"

>>60558594
Is that m00t

>>60557142
delete win32

>>60573496
KBG who?

File: Ross Ulbricht passport photo.jpg (191KB, 630x800px) Image search: [Google]

191KB, 630x800px

Close laptop lid

>>60557142

When they kick at your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun

When the law break in
How you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement
Or waiting on death row

You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Oh, the guns of Brixton

The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely your time will come
As in heaven, as in hell

You see, he feels like Ivan
Born under the Brixton sun
His game is called survivin'
At the end of the harder they come

You know it means no mercy
They caught him with a gun
No need for the Black Maria
Goodbye to the Brixton sun

You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
But oh-the guns of Brixton

When they kick at your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun

You can crush us
You can bruise us
Yes, even shoot us
But oh-the guns of Brixton

Shot down on the pavement
Waiting in death row
His game is called survivin'
As in heaven as in hell

You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Oh, the guns of Brixton
Oh, the guns of Brixton
Oh, the guns of Brixton
Oh, the guns of Brixton

File: Untitled.jpg (189KB, 2000x1714px) Image search: [Google]

189KB, 2000x1714px

>not keeping all your storage servers in an underground bunker in your backyard rigged with explosives, so you can physically destroy them remotely

File: Teleports.gif (1007KB, 273x429px) Image search: [Google]

1007KB, 273x429px

>>60573928
>OP has no response

File: TinfoilAl.jpg (40KB, 350x347px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 350x347px

>drop laptop into barrel of hydrofluoric acid

What do FBI niggers?

>>60557161
jon, 2

>>60576806
>being a pedo
No thanks.

File: 1494446495241.jpg (219KB, 1390x1912px) Image search: [Google]

219KB, 1390x1912px

>not keeping the dodgy material on an encrypted microSD and eating it when the cops enter

get on my level bitch

>>60573243
>muh paper prove I am duh smartest

>>60557680
Installing Updates...(1 of 71)

>>60572309
Traps are going to be illegal when trump passes the emperor's throne on to his king regent pence in a few milennia

File: unrecoverable5.jpg (22KB, 400x267px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 400x267px

>police arrive
>no magnets near
>copy 25gb file
>shakes kicks and beats case

>wrap wire around each hard drive
>police.bat
>hits panic Button
>power surges though coils
>good day officer

>>60579994
>micro sd card fails
>loses 3 years of material

>>60582127
Better than 30 years of your life.
Micro SD cards are ridiculous. You could probably stuff it in a book or something and be fine.

>>60582260
Just chew and swallow.

>>60557278
Great song.

>>60572433
Best way would be to take that microsdcard and swallow it and pray to god it gets dissolved completely by stomach acid.

My favorite way is to not have shit on pc that can get me vanned.

>>60557142
>run wannacry.exe

>>60573243
>getting a masters in anything related to computers
you done fucked up, kids can learn literally anything you learned from google. Njoy debit

>>60574006
Unless youre like a fucking legendary botmaster or you run a child porn ring or torrent site or youre a sandnigger literally using just a VPN makes it not worth most agencies time or effort to track you down unless you like fucked one of their wives or something.

how do you wipe a ssd

>>60558081
I accept.

>>60573928
This. Why don't you just EMP your fucking room?

>>60573791
That's not how it works.

>>60557142

Grab my laptop and any other e-quipment, go into safe room where my server resides, have ample time to destroy everything.

> 2017
> Not having a safe room

>>60573862
mind to share?

>>60557142
Beat the drives with a hammer and hope they're glass platters.

>>60558655
I remember a scene like this, but it was Law and Order: Criminal Intent where Goren kept telling the cops not to cross the door frame and cops did it anyway, nuking the comps

>>60557142
Come in, officer. Fancy a cuppa?
>cyanide in tea

>>60583143
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2016/05/feds-say-suspect-should-rot-in-prison-for-refusing-to-decrypt-drives/
>The government said Monday he should remain jailed indefinitely until he complies. The authorities also said that it's not a violation of the man's Fifth Amendment right against compelled self-incrimination because it's a "foregone conclusion" that illegal porn is on the drives and that he is only being asked to unlock the drives, not divulge their passcodes.
>The defendant claims he forgot the passwords. The government, however, countered.
>In winning the contempt-of-court order, the authorities cited a 1789 law known as the All Writs Act to compel the suspect to decrypt.
TL;DR:
>decrypt your kiddie porn
>no
>rot in jail then
>I forgot the passwords
>too bad
>ok I'll decrypt the drives
I can't believe you unironically think you have rights. It's adorable. They own you, bitch.

File: 1430274152707.jpg (38KB, 637x476px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 637x476px

>>60586366
>he is only being asked to unlock the drives, not divulge their passcodes
How bad was his lawyer?

>>60566463
>Kodi
You sick FUCK.
You'd going away for a LONG time fukko!

>>60569651
Fuck off back to macrumors, cunt.

these threads are fucking stupid. if they're at your door with a search warrant you're already fucked, they already have some evidence to use against you in court. they don't just show up for no reason. anything else found is just additional evidence.

you could literally just break the pins off the drive connectors and they wouldn't be able to scan the drives on the spot for anything. they'll have their run at it using an expert once it's confiscated as evidence. you can just gamble on them being cheap enough to just not want to hire anyone to help convict some stupid nerd.

if anything these shitty threads end up with it's seven months of pre-trials ending with you falling on the sword confessing guilt trying to convince the judge you're not the worst case he's ever seen and pissing yourselves wishing for probation no jail time.

File: 4277814.jpg (224KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

224KB, 1000x1000px

FBI here.

I appreciate all your posts. The evidence you have provided here will prove very valuable through the future of our investigation.

File: 1494711607853.png (860KB, 860x704px) Image search: [Google]

860KB, 860x704px

>>60590923
Why are you fucking around with nerds?

Get to work on that Russia probe and the Clinton's you hacks.

>>60579851
underrrated, jon 2, who

File: latvieša.jpg (21KB, 355x311px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 355x311px

>>60562681
žirga galva

>Turn of PC
>Swallow usb drive with encryption keys on it

Would be my move if I had anything interesting on my pc.

>>60557142
There's literally only two answers to this. Either you do nothing because you have nothing illegal on your computer, or if you do, you click the shortcut that deletes all information on the hard drive that you want gone, since if you wanted anything gone in this situation, then it's likely you would have set up a program like this.

The worst I've done is torrent some anime and music
I highly doubt they will give a fuck
I'll just calm down, ask them for a warrant and follow orders
This isn't burgerland, nobody cares about torrenting

>>60593149
>torrenting
Whow! You should die in prison, you sick fuck.

Start Furmark, crush the tempered glass side panel with an emergency hammer and pull the AIO header and let my 7700K handle the rest.
If i can't have my 200tb animu collection, no one will.

File: 1493180955069.jpg (40KB, 960x862px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 960x862px

>wait don't come in, go away
>i am a hacker xD~

>>60593274
>Not hacking their weapons in order to shoot themselves.

Nothing will happen, I live in Europe where the police respects my rights. Also, I own guns. Legally.

>>60557142
reboot, have fun trying to break my encryption

>>60579851
Jon, 0

Deal with the fact that I'm about to get my asshole crammed full of dick.
Trust me guys, it isn't that bad.

>>60557142
NOT MY ANIMES!