Why is this garbage always slow? 7 and 8.1 windows update seems

Download them manually mah dude

download "windows 8.1 update client march 2016"
disconnect from network
install
reconnect to network
search for updates

>>60485135
Wasn't there an alternative software for updates? Or am i thinking of something else?

I actually don't have any idea.
Even free software can do it easily, why windows 7 can't? It can't be *that* hard, right? They are a huge company for fuck sake

>>60485192
This.

>>60485253
You are forgetting they are full of pajeets and muh "diversity quota"
Windows 10 has updates at decent speed, but only because it DEPENDS on those updates to stay alive

>>60485253
You say that like you don't already
know Microsoft is doing everything in its power to get people to move to Windows 10.
They don't give a shit if it's inconvenient for you guys unless you're on 10.

>>60485105
I did this yesterday. Fresh install of Windows 8.1 - 16h searching
I have a 2Mbit connection btw

>>60485319
but this "bug" was there since first days of windows 7, it's not a new thing, they didn't even fixed it on windows 8, there wasn't a ubuntu release with broken updater, even though they have to release next version every 6 months

>>60485348
Oh. Well, now they're even less likely to fix it.

This is what you get with clean install.

File: Microsoft_in_charge_of_help.png (27KB, 686x584px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 686x584px

Zero incentive to fix it. Workarounds involve installing a couple of patches that include newer kernel versions which you can find by googling.
After applying the workaround updates can be finished in just a few minutes.

>>60485105
The WU client has a bug and you can only fix it through updates. Its a recursive bug.

Some anon posted this the day of the great wannacry freakout:
http://wu.krelay.de/en/

how does g update their windows 7?

security updates only?
everything?
wsus offline update?
simplix windows 7 pack without telementry and stuff?

>>60487197
Nothing, fresh SP1 install with a firewall blocking everything but what i use and nothing else.

>>60485105
Try upgrading to Windows 10. The updates are really fast

>>60487733
>nothing
wanna cry?

Linux doesn't have this problem

>>60485105
Disable Windows Update. Use Windows Offline Updates only. Problem solved.