Anyone else have a Geberit washlet? You don't know what

>>60343186
>tfw you're so fat you can't wipe your ass
I feel bad for you

>>60343232
American detected...

Only Americans walk around with poop smeared all over their butt.

>>60343186
Hello Sir, Is there a portable one you can carry to your favorite street or beach?

File: 51zom12TqlL._SL1500_.jpg (44KB, 760x1500px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 760x1500px

>>60343267

Is this stealth marketing for hiromoot?

File: amdloo.png (316KB, 882x758px) Image search: [Google]

316KB, 882x758px

>>60343186
The day of the loo draws nigh

File: bidet-washing-machine-shower-flush-the-toilet.jpg (65KB, 675x684px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 675x684px

>>60343186
Difficult to clean properly due to all the parts, difficult to repair or replace when the electronics break.

Bidet shower + soft toilet paper for drying is enough

>>60344125
I haven't had difficulty cleaning it.

I'm not sure about repairing it though in the future. I'm in Switzerland so it wouldn't be hard to get it serviced here. The amount of money for the service doesn't really matter to me.

>>60343186
>There are people so lazy they need the toilet to wipe their asses for them.

>>60344403
Take your finger and rub it around your butthole right now and take a big whiff. What does it smell like? If you're american it smells like shit. If you're european it's clean enough for your girlfriend to lick your butthole which they all do here.

>>60343186
Geberit is for fucking wimps. Karcher is the only way.

>>60343186
Why do Europeans like shooting water up their ass? Is this that butt stuff Bill Nye was talking about

>>60344854
>fingering your asshole and smelling it is normal in mainland europe
boy am I glad we're leaving the EU

>>60345658
Wow, eutards, BTFO!!!

Just a cheap one off eBay. I don't use it much but it's nice to have. I think mine's a bit of a dud though as it either shoots out practically no water or enough to tear you a new asshole.

>>60345592
> installs Kärcher industrial pressure washer toilet
> anticipation after my shit. First time using a washlet
> press on button for pressure washer
> feel great pressure on my anus.
> try to hold my anus shut
> so much pressure. so much pressure.
> start to lift off the seat as the force of pressure pushes me in the air
> my bunghole tightness starts to weaken
> the water forces it's way in
> feel it ripping out my insides
> water and shit start shooting out my mouth
> ahh... so clean.

File: Fuhrer.png (20KB, 174x162px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 174x162px

>>60345658
>mfw my ass is cleaner and smells nicer than britcuck's mouth

File: dark_souls_gwyndolin_57ddc3_4937934.png (1MB, 1476x2138px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1476x2138px

>>60345709
l-lewd

>>60344125
Explain how to use this. It seems a lot better than toilet paper, but I've never been outside the USA.

that's just a fancy bidet

>>60345844
>take shit
>wash ass with warm water
>no dingleberries
>ass smelly minty fresh
>get all the brown women

>>60345881
I like the automatic washlets because you don't have to touch anything, other than the button on the remote control.

>>60343186
Its not clean unless you use soap retarded. Putting water on something doesn't just magically clean it ie. mexico

>>60344125
This.

If you've ever been to Asia you've used one and it works great.

>>60346248
It shoots it out at pretty high pressure - it can get in your anus pretty good. And it goes back and forth about a cm every second. Kind of like you're at the car wash.

File: 1491954201958.jpg (3MB, 3036x4048px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 3036x4048px

>>60343186
>Go to toilet with diarrhea
>Spray shit over the back of the bowl
>Disgusting hands touch the remote
>Wand shoots out and sprays my wet diarrhea back at my asshole
>Leave the bathroom ashamed, and lock my bedroom door so my mom can't yell at me
Yeah, no thanks.

>>60344358
>switzerland
>the amount of money for the service doesn't matter

checks out.

fucking rich faggot

>>60346348
I shit, then wipe, then spray, then dry.

>>60345621
Only southcucks use bidets because they can't flush toilet paper. Eastern, northern and central Europeans use toilet paper like real men.
Daily reminder that bidets are for mudslimes, gooks and pussies.

File: milkbottle.jpg (57KB, 720x960px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 720x960px

>>60343186

File: 1458498632303.jpg (32KB, 606x626px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 606x626px

>>60346270
It sounds messy desu. Wouldn't the high pressure spray shit water on your thighs and around the toilet? Wouldn't shit water run down your legs when you get up?
What about all the shit particles getting all over your body and bathroom and if the pressure is as high as you say it is, wouldn't some of the water escape from behind your ass/back towards the ceiling?

It just seems so unnecessary. I wipe my ass with toilet paper until there's nothing on it, grab some wet wipes and rub my asshole until there's absolutely no brown left. Then I finish off with a wet wipe with water on it and dry with toilet paper. My ass is always squeaky clean.

>>60346691
>It sounds messy desu. Wouldn't the high pressure spray shit water on your thighs and around the toilet? Wouldn't shit water run down your legs when you get up?
it's a tiny stream it's not a garden hose

>>60346725
I just can't see how it would manage to clean your ass better than toilet paper and wet wipes with water. The pressure is probably not strong enough to really get in there between the cheeks. I sometimes pop a finger or two up my ass with wet pipes to clean the anus entrance when I have messy shits. There's no way a bidet could do that unless it has crazy high water pressure.
When I use wet wipes with water, shit water sometimes goes down my highs if I don't dry fast enough. It's probably much worse with an actual water stream on your ass.

>>60346802
>I sometimes pop a finger or two up my ass with wet pipes to clean the anus entrance when I have messy shits.
...
did your dad teach you that one?

>>60343304
This is why I keep a 1 liter plastic bottle and a small bottle of shower gel under my desk at work. When I'm going to take a dump on company time I break those two out and come out fresh as fuck.

Is there really a need for such high tech solutions? I live in a small apartment where shower head can reach the toilet seat and be controlled from the toilet seat. This means I can get the best ass cleaning experience I've ever had:
-warm water: complete comfort + increased shit solubility
-soap applied with hand: not just spraying water and hoping it removes all shit either
-toilet paper: only for drying, no dry shit scraping, just pressing. that allows to use rougher tissue like the kitchen ones without discomfort. i prefer those because cheap ones still soak up more water and are harder to disintegrate. also serves as a confirmation that shit was indeed removed. wet paper comes out clean and smells clean.

It is now my requirement in house choosing that a shower head of some sort should be able to reach and be controlled from the toilet seat. Most importantly, the water being warm is the killer feature really.

Thanks for reading this far. You are now confirmed for having no life for ever.

>>60347344
This is, unironically, the most autistic thing I've read today, and I've spent a not inconsiderable amount of time on here today.

I've always wondered how much better it is to wash your arse with water though.

>>60343232
I put a bit of weight on over Christmas, and I had to reevaluate my life when I realised wiping my arse had turned into ten minute project and I actually pulled my shoulder once. I injured my shoulder wiping my butt hole.

The diet is going quite well, actually.

>>60347570
>keeping hygiene products on hand
>autistic
And doing so on the can requires decent shoulder flexibility. Takes me less than five minutes.

>>60347658
I dunno man, I think there's a difference between keeping a roll of TP or pack of wipes on hand, and a bottle of water and shower gel on hand.

The difference is autism.
:^)

>>60347820
>bottle on bottom drawer of desk
>30ml bottle of shower gel on same location
>autism
okay chubbs

>>60347946
How mean =(
I'M EXERCISING AND EATING RIGHT, DAMMIT

>>60346224
how the hell do you use this?

>>60346248
Mine has a reservoir for a cleaning solution but I don't like to use it because it stings. I mean, it stings like crazy - I yelped out loud the first time it hit my asshole.

File: 1494583270972.jpg (17KB, 604x340px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 604x340px

>>60348364
>I yelped out loud the first time it hit my asshole

>>60348364
I don't like to throw around the word moron here because I think it takes from your argument, but you sir are a moron. That's not cleaning solution - that's an anti-calc solution for the calcium. It stings because it's a pretty harsh acid that you're only supposed to use once a year to clean up any calcium build-up in the heating chamber.

>>60343186
>washes your vagina

I seriously hope women don't do this.

>>60348471
BARN
A
R
N
IMAL
M
A
L

>>60348471
I think it just shoots a jet of water without soap, although if the nozzle isn't kept pristine it's still bad I guess.

I applaud the designers anyway. You ever go down on a woman who's just had a piss?

>>60345832
What's he doing for her?

>>60348541
>You ever go down on a woman who's just had a piss?

Tastes like the most bitter battery acid you'll ever stick your tongue in.

I'm I at Pol?

>>60346224
Am I supposed to lift up my ass and point it at the nozzle? What the fuck

>shit while naked
>shower my whole body immediately after

get on my level

>>60343186
Does your dick gets wet and smeared with shit as well?

>>60348621
>shit while naked
>shower my whole body immediately after
>in ice cold water

Get on my level newfag

>>60343186

I used those a lot in Japan, you get used to it pretty quickly and I miss it now. Wish I could have one at my appartement.

>>60348541
There's a difference between vulva and vagina. Obviously they should wash their vulva, but some retarded women douche their insides with soap and shit all the time. They do it to make their innards "smell good". It seriously fucks up the vagina's microbial environment. You seriously don't want to do that.

That shit triggers me. You lucky people who don't have to shove a speculum into a woman's pussy on a daily basis will never witness the horrors lurking at the back.

Finding huge Candida albicans colonies is just so fucking disgusting it's not even funny. Lord have mercy on the dick that goes in there, little bastard deserves a medal for its fearless heroism in the name of the species. I'd rather lick up urine any time compared to that. I'd rather straight up drink their piss. Urine is sterile, unless you've got some bad disease that makes you pee bacteria.

>>60348781
Harrowing insight into the life of a OB/GYN, or whatever you are.

Maybe I'll just go gay.

>>60348781
sticking dick inside any woman is disgusting i rather fap to my pure 2d waifus honestly

>>60348558
Feminine benis

>>60348567
Yeah, maybe if she's some Aussie Sheila Amazon who eats vegemite sandwiches with every meal

>>60343267
On the beach you just shit in the water and let nature wash your filth away.

>>60348978
Wrong, always shit at the river's source so it can gather enough momentum to carry it far into the ocean

>>60346248
Water is a solvent, it does clean by itself. Better than smearing with TP and calling it a day.

>>60345709

>day 4 of nofap and this arouses me a little

when will the withdrawal symptoms stop

>>60348558
Where

>>60349108

P.S. you fats need a better diet. I shit once a day in the morning and my anus stays clean afterwards 99% of the time. Saves a ton of time and toilet paper.

>>60348838
>>60348878

check this /tv pasta

Look, I work in health care. One of my duties at the ambulatory is doing pelvic exams on women. Imagine poor filthy disgusting old women who don't even know what a vagina is much less how to wash it. Imagine having to do a pelvic exam on a fucking bitch who just came in and is Hepatitis C positive, HIV positive, cocaine and weed positive on the same tox screen. You have to feel up her disgusting pussy lips to see if they're "elastic", see if her snatch glands are palpable which means infection, then shove a goddamn speculum up her meat tube only to find out an entire colony of fungus at the back. At any point she can have a pelvic muscle contraction and make the lubed up speculum fly right back onto your FACE, blathering it in STD-ridden bodily fluids. I have to take a brush and shove it into the neck of her uterus, spin it and then smear the contents on a slide. Then I gotta do the same for the area around the uterine orifice. Every time I do that, I have to take the fucking sanple-ridden thing out of her slit, literally full of her cells and fluids, and hover it around my general body area until a coleague takes it away from my hand. I swear to god if any of that shit falls on me I'm getting up and taking a dozen showers, woman be damned. Then I throw some products up her snatch to see if they react to cancer. Only then am I allowed to finally close up that hellhole of nature, but I can't just remove the speculum and get the fuck outta there, I gotta slowly close it up before taking it out, otherwise she might feel a little pain. It's always about the fucking woman. What about me? I die a little inside everytime I have to do this. What's a little fucking pain?

Gynecologists are the most malignant doctors you'll ever meet. They chose to specialize in women because God knows why; they're literally miserable. You think women are mean to each other because of their bitchy comments? Wait till you see a female gynecologist.

>>60349108
About 2 months.

4 days is when it starts. In 8 days, that paragraph will send you into a nosedive of hellish jonesing.

>>60349363

oh shit.

Just use a bidet like all civilized people

>>60343186
>not having a shower after you shit

>>60343186
It's like a bidet! But full of useless electronic components to double the amount of maintenance and it's cost!

>>60349841

but it also has wifi and twitter support bro

File: 1492704379305.png (76KB, 448x448px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 448x448px

>>60343186
>sprays warm water at my butthole
>shitty water drops dow all over my ass

>>60349932
It takes your shit and tweets it without you having to type it.

>>60350088
truly, what a time to be alive

>>60350088
You laugh, but I think half the posts on /g/ are done on the toilet and the quality is reflected in that.

>>60343186
I forgot to mention that it also has a proximity sensor with two settings. From about five feet away it turns on an led light under the toilet - you can set it to any color. Then when you walk up to it the lid rises on its own. Then when you're done and flush and walk away the lid closes automatically. Same thing when you puss.

>>60348621
Basically this. I take a shit in the evening, and immediately or soon after take a shower anyway, so I just use toilet paper until it comes out clean and wash later. I have a fairly hairy ass, and I just don't see how this tiny stream of water is supposed to do anything. To be honest, I should work on my diet, but I get enough fiber to make toilet paper enough nearly always.

>>60343186
What the fuck guys? Water is more ecological and economical than paper towels. It's way more hygienic and less mess. If monkey throws shit at your smug face, do you rub it clean with paper? Fuck no, you wash it.

>>60343186
Japan is better. They have more money and years invested.

>>60351982
German is better. Better constructed, more water flow, and the jet is strong enough for big white hairy anuses unlike the effiminate Japanese toilets.

>>60351502

man, what do you eat ? I barely need to wipe once.

>wiping/washing your ass
what's the point desu