>first day at work >Here's your laptop >All physical

>>60291217
>backup
>wipe drive
>install gentoo
>get back important files from backup
>install gentoo on backup
>proceed to install gentoo on every piece of technology in your office

>>60291217
why don't you want to work, fucking trash ?

>>60291241
How can you do any of that without physical ports? I'm assuming that means the disc drive as well, if it even has one.

>>60291259
cross-compile Gentoo on your home-server and install through network.

>>60291259
Request some VM software and do all work in the WM.

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2KB, 100x100px

>>60291217
>Workspace wants you to use device as intended, for work, not to fuck it up like you want to
That's really weird anon, hope you can work around your company's ridiculous rules

>>60291217
>Research and Development center.
Here's your answer, retard.
You're provided a debotnetted laptop with no way to access it's contents physically and heavily monitored network activity JUST BECAUSE you work at
>Research and Development center.

Anti-espionage measures

>>60291474
how can a retard like him land a job on R&D?

>>60291259
what do you mean by blocked physical ports? Disabled in BIOS or physically removed/fucked up?
Bypass bios password and remove usb block. Simple

>>60291507
Simple, he's a frogposter

>>60291507
He's probably some kinda system admin or "the printer wont print" guy, but the laptops they issue are all standardized, so they gave him what they give the actual smart people.

Alternatively, they dont want info on their computers leaked, so even that kinda guy gets hardened variant.

Holy shit a competent IT security policy? Well except for the Windows part but they probably had their hands tied there.

>>60291217
why would you use your company laptop for personal stuff? are you too poor to get a private laptop with broadband connection or just too retarded?
It's always important to isolate your private shit from company stuff. Either ask it dept to install virtualbox or just get a private laptop.

1. Install TempleOS on your personal computer
2. Communicate with God through TempleOS
3. Ask him to install Gentoo to your work computer

Voilà!

>>60291537
this

>>60291553
>Hallelujah!
FTFY

>>60291474
>debotnetted
>win10
pick one

>>60291217
We have the same shit here. I don't mind it.

>>60291217
>Who enforces these laws?
What don't you understand about company property?

>>60291619
As an RnD center in NATO country, being spied on by CIA and NSA is actually good for you.

>>60291659
Microsoft spying means data flowing through Pajeet hands. No way.

BRICS pls go

>>60291217
It's called company policy

And it sounds like you landed a pajeet internship

>>60291217

>sysadmin
>used to work at a place without these rules
>hand employee new laptop
>laptop comes in to days later because it's "slow"
>like 5 browser popups serving ads just after logging in
>there's some animated porn gif on the desktop that "keeps coming back"
>nuke and reload laptop
>I've got three more just like it to see today

This is why you have these rules.

You should seriously quit.

If a tech company tells me I can only use windows, I tell them "I'm sorry to do this to you, but if Windows is the only option I have to quit this job because I object to using insecure proprietary software that hinders my abilities to program." Start grabbing your stuff and packing your bags and 90% of the time they'll cave and tell you you can use Linux.

If not, why would you want to work their anyway? Walk out with confidence and find another job that respects you.

>>60291709
>animated porn gif on the desktop that "keeps coming back"
that sounds hilarious, what would it be good for though? does it open a link when you click it?

>>60291217
It's a free-an-in-beer laptop anon. Gratis, not libre. You have to play by their rules.

Are you too poor to afford your own laptop anon?

>>60291866
>"Good luck!"
>pulls out the pile of resumes for 2000 equally qualified applicants

>>60292036
thats what they like you to believe.

>>60291870
prob. the product of a scriptkiddie trying out his "hack it yourself" toolbox

>All physical ports are blocked
What about fucking mouse? Is BT not blocked?

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157KB, 1920x1080px

>>60291259
>How can you do any of that without physical ports?

This isn't a problem on a Mac.

>>60292051
There are so many thousands of people applying for jobs it's insane.
And if there is ever a point where the amount of jobseekers comes close to the employment, they'll just import some third world pajeets to inflate the workforce and keep you in check.

>>60292113
>get-a-load-of-this-cuck-cam-jpg

>>60292160
not for a fucking research position in industry.
codemonkey and cable-layer ok, but good PhDs dont grow on trees.

>>60292182
I don't know a single person who doesn't have a PhD or better.

>>60292261
lel, you are on /g/ buddy, I think you meant to say "I dont know anyone with a PhD, or a degree for that matter" because most are NEETs here

>>60291217
How are you supposed to use a mouse?

Do they seriously want you to work with a touchpad/trackpoint?

>>60292309
I mostly come here to discuss Linux and programming for work-related matters. I've gotten a lot of insight into the best ways to compile Distros and maximize my efficiency from /g/, plenty of people on this board are professionals.

>>60291217
Sounds like IT knows what the fuck they're doing.

>>60292261
>or better
PhE?

Or does it go the other way like the grade letter scale--PhC?

>>60292331
Bluetooth is often not a physical port.

>>60291217

Now all they need to do is disallow you from accessing the internet with it and it would be remotely secure.

Secure work computers should not have any inputs other than the keyboard, unless manually vetted by sysadmins.

You can not trust users, for instance take yourself.

>>60292357
You know what's better than one? Two.

>>60292369
You could dump data through BT from laptop to your phone and walk out.

>>60292339
>plenty of people on this board are professionals.
No they are not.
The few actual professional left for lain chan over a year ago.

>>60292357
COMPTIA
A+
MCSM

>>60292394
That's not better. It's more numerous.

I thought we had made it past the "10 items or less" debacle already. Two steps forward, one step back.

>>60292339

Professional IT is a joke.

We're talking about a profession in which people think programming internet facing code in C, decades after learning the most common exploits are because of buffer overflows and dangling pointers, is not pants on hand retarded.

>>60292396
So? Just because they blocked physical ports and software installation doesn't mean it was a brilliantly executed security policy.

Remember,
>Can't take it home unless you sign some special request
>unless
The whole data security thing flies out the window once you get the machine overnight.

>>60292422
Say that to my fucking face not online and see what happens you RMS worshipping nerd, I will fucking deck you so hard you'll lose your virginity.

>>60292396
>implying they don't take your phone out at a checkpoint.

>>60291217
Thank all the retards that came before you that infected the network and filled their work pc full of malware.

>>60292160
Shit mang where I work we had a senior systems engineering position open for a year and never filled it. It's hard to find qualified senior talent even when you're paying $200k/yr.