(Copied from /pol/ I know you guys will love this) Juicero

$120M for shitty juicer.
Murica fuck yeah.

>>59997463
This is so retarded

https://arstechnica.com/business/2017/04/juicero-ceo-says-consuming-more-fruits-and-vegetables-is-a-tough-nut-to-crack/

>>59997463
We already have a thread for this >>59988476

File: 1478745395206.png (319KB, 2048x2048px) Image search: [Google]

319KB, 2048x2048px

Instead of spending money on pic related we spend money on pants on head retarded garbage
What in the mighty fuck

>>59997463
Just watching the ad made me not like this company and whatever product they make.

File: 1490366341604.jpg (25KB, 480x465px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 480x465px

>HELLO?
>THE BEST JUCE EVER, DUH

File: 1486652626616.gif (2MB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 600x600px

>>59997463
>DRM-enabled juicer
>wifi-enabled juicer

File: 1millenial.jpg (104KB, 595x470px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 595x470px

That ad is the most millenial thing I've seen all week.

>>59997463

This product is just another reason why I'm starting to think there is no hope for humanity.

Just end us oh glorious asteroids and viruses, end this nightmare.

>>59997463
why the fuck is this a thing?

File: 1490367179583.jpg (74KB, 600x427px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 600x427px

>>59998193

Why the hell does it need an app or 'the cloud'?

>>59997463
>Copied from /b/
You have to go back

>>59998400
Hey now,
I would like to interject; Stephen Hawking people might want this.
Though no Iphone

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

If I have not made myself clear; It's a joke, I couldn't do the rest required to make this thing work.

sigh

>>59997685
> arstechnica

fuck off reddit

>>59997463
Wait, you only get one cup from one bag?
So it isn't even useful as a dispenser either.
Plus I try to avoid unnecessary plastic packaging as much as possible

SF is full of yuppie fags whose companies survive on their wealthy parents' initial investments and God-tier networking. Outside of the existing tech companies that are based there, it's lost like 90% of its differentiation value. And these fuckers are raising housing costs every year

t. work for a startup

>>59999097
>God-tier networking
lmao. But it's true yeah

So you buy packs of "fruits" to then put them in your proprietary juicer. Why not just buy prepackaged juice?

> Doug Evans, the company’s founder, would compare himself with Steve Jobs in his pursuit of juicing perfection

L M A O
M
A
O

>>59998193
How do you even poop in the floor?

>>59999273
To get an answer to your question call the microsoft custumor support.

>>59999273
come on, we're men. We all know how this works. We MADE the floors, we can disemble the floors.

>>59997463
>Ad for it:
>https://youtu.be/X1oHp-VvhDE [Embed]
>There is literally jews in my veins.
kek

I don't drink 'juice'.

>>59998193
That is the BLACKED.com girl isnt it.

It's just that the stupid masses now have enough money that they don't know what to spend it on. Conventional rich people spend on jachts, houses or other not complete garbage things. These people aren't quite there to spend that kind of money. Either emotionally or realistically. So they get the 'hip' juice press. 'hip' phone/watch. Etc.
I'm wondering what happens next. Maybe these people become cynical about their past purchases and start financing groups to kidnap people and broadcast their version of those TV shows they like so much. The survival shows where a group of moderately attractive people fight for their lives in a brutal environment. Lost, the hunger games, Jurassic world (realistically you just plop down a bunch of pasty dudes and dudettes in a tropical forest) etc.

With Trump in power it might just happen.

>>59999459
That ass was so wide the gravity pulled her shit with the force of 2/3 light-speed out of her.
She is showing her proud accomplishment.

File: There_was_an_attempt.png (29KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 480x480px

>>59998916

>>59997463
I like this idea but the DRM thing is just kikery.

>>59997463
You have to understand that the """"Tech"""" world isn't different than others. It's all nepotism and groupie mentality. If a VC wants to blow money on a shitty product, they'll do it and justify it because fuck you

They were actually advertising this piece of garbage on LA radio this morning.

>needs phone and internet connection to work
>still have to press a button on the device
y tho

>>59999383
>there is nothing to clean.
>no mess whatsoever.

In their other video:
>- after use cut open bag
>- remove pulp
>- put pulp in green waste
>- rinse out bag
>- put bag in box
>- order shipping labels online
- put labels on box
- mail box back for recycling


Not that anyone would actually recycle, but still.

juice is a fucking retarded meme drink for babies yay its pure liquid fucking sugar but its good for you because nature and kale and shit bruh

File: jews_machine.png (123KB, 724x322px) Image search: [Google]

123KB, 724x322px

>$400
Holy retarded shit
Who the fuck would think that was a good idea?

>>60002012
this. i hope their fucking rot and they the beetus

>>60002120
>Black & Decker

Is it just a juicing attachment for a power drill?

>>60002120
It's what happens when silicon-valley marketers get to design a non-silicon-valley product:
IoT is the next big thing, get on board.
Form over function, people want a pretty package instead of a working product.
We can make more money with a short hardware lifespan and proprietary tech.

Every one of these things, from a user experience and an engineering standpoint, are complete anti-features and are detrimental to the product, especially as a culinary tool. Cooks and health people want something reliable and inexpensive. They don't want uni-taskers. Ease-of-use, to them, means versatility and reliability. However, those design philosophies run counter to everything silicon valley stands for, and some schmuck looking at scatter plots isn't going to notice that.

How come /g/ laughs at this.

But we didn't laugh at tablets?

File: 1459712195059s.jpg (5KB, 250x220px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 250x220px

>>59998193
>>59999459
>tfw to intelegent for white dick

>>60002344
because tablets are literally from star trek and their are lots of use cases where a tablet makes perfect sense.

This is DRM juice bags

>>60002476
Juice replicators are also from star trek

>>59999256
shhhht!

>open your juicero app and sign in your account

>>60002196
What better way would there be? Power drills are the shit you know that.

File: i wonder.jpg (27KB, 256x257px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 256x257px

>>60002120
>Holy retarded shit
>Who the fuck would think that was a good idea?

>>60002120
>juice power drill

>>60003053
its not a replicator its a juice press with an app

A tablet from IRL is way better than what was on Star Trek.

>>60002344
Every new piece of technology is laughed at on here

Literally every single one

>>60002120
It says $34.94

where's your helmet?

>>60003593
That's a different product you dumbass.

>>60003593
He's showing another juicer to highlight the absurdity of Juicero's $400 price.

Where's your helmet?

>>59997463
>>it squeezes DRM protected propietary pouches of ground up fruit/vegetables to produce juice that are $7 each for 200gms (8 ounce)
That isnt true. The amount of juice varies per pack. For instance the pomegranite juice only yeilds 3oz and is $8 for a pack. So you're paying $32 for a soda can's amount worth of juice.

>>60003593
>>60003616
ELI5 the helmet joke

>>59997463
idk why they didn't just license the (((technology))) and just sell the subscription juice packs.

>>60003634
You wear the helmet so you don't bump your head.

File: 1492706135358-0.gif (315KB, 1084x593px) Image search: [Google]

315KB, 1084x593px

>>60003658
this is a cute post

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/95/24/cb/9524cb8e93b5893386bcab83f12c1855.jpg

>>60004140
>linking an image on an imageboard

>>60003649
That would go against the "identity" and "culture" of the company.

i.e. too much silicon valley bullshit crammed inside their brains for them to think straight

This whole thing is 10 times more complex than even buying fruits and making your own juice.

They actually want you to go through the shit of sorting and sending back shit to be recycled, every time. This is the definition of a solution looking for a problem, but also making the solution 10 times harder than the problem.

How in FUCK did this get a single dollar in funding? Are Americans mentally retarded? How do I make some ultra retarded gimmick and get investment money then fuck off with tens of millions?

File: sw.png (87KB, 417x234px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 417x234px

>Although Ars contacted the company yesterday, no one responded to our request for comment. But today, Juicero CEO Jeff Dunn, formerly of Coca-Cola, took to Medium to write a defense of his company’s juice maker.
>formerly CEO of Coca-Cola

>mfw we are at FOUR DIMENSIONS OF WOKE

>>60005515
Investors with 10s/100s of millions generally aren't that stupid. My guess is this is some sort of tax dodge, jewish money laundering scheme, or maybe the rare Ponzi scheme that snowballed up to this level.

>>60002120
While I think this product is fucking retarded, an actual juicer is even more retarded. Have you ever tried cleaning those things? Nevermind that it actually takes a metric fuckload of veggies/fruits, it no jokes takes 45 minutes to clean the whole thing.

I just fucking go out to the grocery store and buy juice. Making it myself is fucking annoying.

>>60005590

That actually makes more sense, sadly. If the side effect is making a bit of cash from the <1000 retards who buy then that's fine too. Looks like retarded 'art' wasn't enough for money laundering and now they need to look more legit.

>>59997463

I hope they go bankrupt

I mean if they used the $60 initial cost Gillette/printer ink model, I would get it

but this shit is just retarded

>>59997463
This makes me angry.

File: 969070.jpg (99KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 500x500px

>>59997463
for 400$ you could get
>80 pieces of pic related
>130kg of oranges

>>59998588
kill yourself

File: no.jpg (56KB, 583x435px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 583x435px

>>59997708
>Feminists would let you own this
>Globalists would let you own this
>Religious fundamentalists would let you own this
>the faggots who think Robots, the moving hunks of metal, should have human rights would let you own this.
Good fucking luck making it into the market with this.
Your best bet at neko-fucking is Neural VR
>you wouldn't fuck your neko
pic related

Shillicon valley is dead

Rip California's tax revenues

File: TOO FAST.jpg (158KB, 655x864px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 655x864px

>>60009458
>normies won't sop this up like they did with the apple iphone
Do you understand the average person nowadays? They spend their money as quickly as they make it to keep up with appearances

>>59997708
This is humanity in general. Look at what the billionaires do with their money, buy fancy houses and yachts. That's literally the extent of their imagination. They could have teams of the world's top scientists and engineers working around the clock to create untold new technologies and futuristic shit but the only fucking that that fits through their thick fucking skull is to buy $80000 golf clubs and shitty cars overpriced cars that sit in a garage, never to be even driven.

File: Jewcer.webm (2MB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 640x360px

Hiya /pol/

>>59997463
everybody knows juice is good because of the vitamins and minerals, but really bad if you take out all of the fiber

that shit is haram for your pancreas and eyes
blend that shit, don't just drink the pressed juices

>>60013167
this literally make zero sense.

>>59997463
>burger wants to stay healthy
>buys 500$ juicer to avoid physical activity
i am surprised that, i still can be surprised about burger "culture".

>>60013216
The fiber is supposed to help your body absorb all of the fructose. If you have a juicer that removes all the pulp, skin and other material leaving just liquid then you are just drinking sugary water while thinking it is really healthy

File: 1492285702799.jpg (2MB, 2048x2048px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2048x2048px

>>59998400
>DMT-enabled juicer

>>59997463
>Bay area
>DRM Juice

Its like a cross bread between hipsters, SJW and jews

>>59997463
Juice
Juic
Ju
>JEWS

They say it so many times it seen someone is getting jewed again

>>60009529

Why do people here go out of their way to make every average person sound like a massive drooling retard? Does it make you feel smarter and better about yourself? Here's the reality, the average person is - wait for it - average in intelligence. Not a fucking wrist-slapping retard who will spend $400 to drink juice from proprietary packs.

>>60013528
Not him.

But if it had an Apple logo it would have been a big hit.

>>60013573

Congratulations, you just out-retarded him with this 'le sheeple' bollocks to make yourself seem superior. Yeah the Mac Pro is a raging success, the 2016 MBP had to have its accessories lowered because people weren't buying it. People genuinely switched to Android over the headphone jack shit. Look, people like Apple products mostly, but they won't buy anything like they're brainwashed. Thinking so is delusion. I'm talking about the average person. There is zealots for everything in the world which are an exception.

File: 1469400767556.gif (509KB, 255x287px) Image search: [Google]

509KB, 255x287px

>Jews-ero

File: juisir-juicer.jpg (32KB, 696x449px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 696x449px

There's already a chink version of Juicero for sale: http://www.juisir.com/home

Not exactly a total knockoff, since it comes with reusable bags, doesn't need an Internet connection, and expects you to chop up your own produce.

>>59997463
The packaging in which it comes looks better made and more expensive than the device.

File: Doug-Evans.png (363KB, 750x422px) Image search: [Google]

363KB, 750x422px

>>59997463
"Our founder, Doug, is straight up made of Jews"

>>59997463
Why would I care?
Obviously I am not going to buy this, you can get fresh fruits a lot cheaper and I could make my own juice if I wanted to.
If I didn't have the time, I could just buy something that is ready made.
I would not pay $7 for a single glass of juice.
And especially not if I have to deal with ordering stuff through the mail, send the packaging back etc.
It is a bad product designed for people with more money than common sense.

>>59999273
Think of a squat toilet without the toilet.

What's wrong with buying ready-to-drink juice?

>>60002120
>BLACK+DECKER
All I remember is that sweet smell of ozone when turning on the power drill.

Let me get this straight: It's a machine that presses the content of bags containing juice into a cup?

Why don't people just buy juice in bottles?
What the fuck is this shit?
Who buys this? What the fuck?

>>60014032
>Let me get this straight: It's a machine that presses the content of bags containing juice into a cup?
Yes, but more slowly than you'd do it by yourself. You can also make it juice over the Wi-Fi, if you just so happened to leave a tall glass under the machine.

>>60014052
I can barely process that. It makes me doubt this is real life. Am I dreaming?

>>60014070
Investors are asking the same thing.

>But after the product’s introduction last year, at least two Juicero investors were taken aback after finding the packs could be squeezed by hand. They also said the machine was much bigger than what Evans had proposed. One of the investors said they were frustrated with how the company didn’t deliver on the original pitch and that their venture firm wouldn’t have met with Evans if he were hawking bags of juice that didn’t require high-priced hardware. Juicero didn’t broadly disclose to investors or employees that packs can be hand squeezed, said four people with knowledge of the matter.

>>60002120
The people who've made bank off repackaged instant coffee for hundreds of dollars. (Keurig anyone?)

File: s-l1600.jpg (210KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

210KB, 1600x1200px

>>59997463
> $10 glass juice presser
> doesn't require a smartphone
> doesn't require electricity
> doesn't require anything beyond oranges for your juice
> only paid $1 for mine at a flee market
feelsgoodman

>>59997463
>San Francisco

Why am I not surprised.

Why juicing? Why not just wash and eat it right away?

>>59997463
CAPITALISM DOES IT AGAIN, THAT MADMAN XDDDDD

>optimal allocation of resources XDDDDDD

>>60009765
it isnt exactly a lack of imagination. rnd is cool, but you dont get to be wealthy by spending money on cool things.
houses and yachts or whatever that they buy are ways of storing money that dont depreciate due to inflation, are tax doges, or offer other financial benefits. they may be easier to resell secretly, for instance, so you can liquidate them when you need to without prying eyes of banks or governments.

One thing I do not understand. The finished juice is in the bag? You buy the bags like this? What is all the pressing out good for? Why don't they sell bottles of juice?

I thought the whole point of a juicer is to turn your fruits into juice.

>>60011167
>that'll be $7

>>59997463
>Can't use real fruit
>$4-8 per glass of juice (one pack)
>You can squeeze them with your hands
>All this unnecessary waste

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRx78Zhj7s

>>59999273
because women are tarded and do what's called "hovering" over the toilet because they are mentally retarded and end up getting crap everywhere BUT the toilet.

>>60015256
>he doesn't squat shit

>>59998579
Sell your data, it says it on the UELA

>>60005648
Or just make your own juice in a blender like a normal human being

>>60015264
unless you're like 7 feet tall, I don't think you can do a proper squat shit into a conventional toilet.

>>60013986
Why boner

>>60007691
>130kg of oranges
Jesus Christ

>>60015336
you put your feet on the seat, my man

>>60013961
$8 a bag that contains 1 glass of DRM ''juice"

>>60015336

>being too dumb to know how to squat on a toilet

The word 'retarded' is just not enough.

>>60015392
t. women who can't poo in the loo and gets shit all over the floor.

k buddy.

File: howtopoop.jpg (73KB, 1136x830px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 1136x830px

>>60015336
just lean forward and spread your legs bro, ever since I started "squatting" my poops have come flying out

File: 1434389840766.jpg (159KB, 900x600px) Image search: [Google]

159KB, 900x600px

holy fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My sides are in pain!!!!!!!!

I've heard about this before, but I missed the DRM part. Only a kike can look at a glass of juice and think, "there's gotta be some way that I can put DRM on this"

>>60015406

What the fuck are you talking about you literally mentally disabled cunt? You put your feet up on the sides of the bowl, seat up, that's how you squat on a toilet without being 7 feet tall. Hey did you know b is also a backwards d? Fucking neck yourself you stupid bastard, if you can even work out how to. You'll probably try tying the rope to the floor and jumping up.

>>60015467

>INSERT VERIFICATION POUCH
>QR CODE DENIED
>INSERT VERIFICATION POUCH
>UNABLE TO PROCESS JUICE DUE TO BEING 12 MINUTES OUT OF USE BY DATE
>AUTOMATICALLY ORDERING 12 POUCHES
>TRANSACTION SUCESSFUL
>SYSTEM LOCKED FOR 48 HOURS DUE TO SLOW INTERNET
>OLD PULP MUST BE RECEIVED BY RECYCLING PLANT WITHIN 28 MINUTES BEFORE PENALTIES OCCUR

>>60015739
Who the fuck needs to squats on a toilet? Is all you eat cheese and peanut butter?

File: 220px-French_Squatter_Toilet.jpg (9KB, 220x188px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 220x188px

>>60015434
We shouldn't use those kind of toilets. Pic are the only correct toilets.

>>59997708
I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those catgirls.
Or should I?

>>60015774

It wasn't about the NEED it was about the ABILITY you goalpost moving brainlet spastic.

>>6000000

>>60015256
>>60013936
That's on the floor, not in the floor.

>>60015264
>squat shit
IT G MA

>>60014168
Atleast the keurig actually brews the coffee. You can't get coffee out of a keurig pod by squeezing it with your hands. You can get juice out of the juicero bag by squeezing it with your hands

Seems suited to corporations that want a customer facing device. High end places in metro areas that serve a lot of brunch. You're paying for the image and quality control, which would be nice when, if the machine were to down or serve rotten shit, everyone who sees it will give you a 1 star on yelp.

Probably cheaper and more impressive to vapid cunts who frequent these places than hiring some minwage worker to run a blender all day.

Don't know why fags are making a huge stink about this either, commercial kitchen juicers frequently cost $1500+.

>>60017026
>commercial kitchen juicers frequently cost $1500+
But they're actual juicers, that don't just press pre-juiced packets.
Also this Juicero one will end up costing much more than $1500, considering how expensive those packets are.

>>60003634
You have to go back.

File: bitches-laughing.jpg (71KB, 639x438px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 639x438px

>>59998509
top jej

>>59998509
Someone needs to add the had around the face.

>>60005552
No wonder they kicked him out. That idiot tried to do something stupid there too, I bet!

>>59999383
>1:15
>All Mexians

>>60017062
Consider the running costs on a regular juicer though. You have to buy the fruit and other produce. Your employees are going to spend time cutting the fruit and running the blender. These things aren't free, especially in densely populated places.

Yes there's a premium price but there's also added value in buying the bags.

>>59997463
> $799

Gee I wonder what made them slash the price in half?

>>60017336
At $7 per bag, using only 10 per day, 6 days a week is going to cost $22k in bags only. That's not counting electricity, the pressers themselves (which wil have to be replaced once in a while), and the pay for the employees who operate and mantain them.
For the same amount of juice, doing it with produce will be far cheaper than uning these prepackaged bags, and will also look more "natural", which is appealing to the kind of people into this sort of stuff.

Also you don't want to make customers replace the packets themselves, because that would cancel out all the "just-werks" side of it.

I understand if some business wants it to look hip (maybe have one in a corner of your non-food business, like you'd have a coffee machine or something), but as an actual store selling juice I don't see how the good outweights the bad.

You really should read that medium post by the CEO. He says the juice bags were hacked.

>>60017600
post it

>>60017621
http://archive.is/05kqa

>>60017639
>”We know hacking consumer products is nothing new. But how can we better demonstrate the incredible value we know our connected system delivers?”

I can't fucking believe what I'm reading.
Bypassing a $400 pulp sack squeezer by squeezing the pulp sacks manually is now "hacking consumer products."

File: file.png (38KB, 723x390px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 723x390px

>>60017600
YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP

>>60017773
>oh no, the juicer won't press my juice out because of the nationwide spinach recall
>however will I get my juice now

>>60017773
>incredible value

I see feeding bullshit to retarded "investors" is well and healthy.

File: file.png (98KB, 1186x677px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 1186x677px

>>60015768
>>60017745

it's 2013 all over again

my sides have left humanity behind

what's really sad about this are the faggots who legitimately take paychecks to make these fake market abortions a reality.

If any of you cucks enable this kind of shit, you should kill yourself.

File: juice merchant.jpg (19KB, 221x311px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 221x311px

>>59997463
>$400 (formerly $799) always online "juice" press
>DRM protected propietary pouches of ground up fruit/vegetables to produce juice that are $7 each
>turns out you can get the same results by squeezing the pouches with your hands

gee, I wonder who could be behind this product?

>>60002437
She is a bitch. If you pay, her anus is yours.

File: 1486884639054.jpg (377KB, 1280x1919px) Image search: [Google]

377KB, 1280x1919px

Why is a stupid invention worthy of a headline?

File: 1490544321776.gif (2MB, 360x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 360x240px

>>59997463
>merchant nose

File: ZPk4dmV.jpg (209KB, 1446x1500px) Image search: [Google]

209KB, 1446x1500px

>>60018038
because it typifies literally everything that is wrong with tech

>let's take a cheap kitchen appliance and add IoT(tm) connectivity so you can make social media posts about your juice!
>better yet, let's add DRM so we can control the materials!
>throw in an iPhone app, of course
>it doesn't matter that you can do the same thing with your own hands
>surely the goyim will pay $799 for it

>>60015434
I always knew without anatomy studies.

>>60017922
Lmao I miss these days

>>59997463
so they had the brilliant idea of making a "juice printer", and wanted to charge a lot of money for the printer AND the cartridges too!

>>60018166
>tech
this isn't about tech, this is about "innovative" businesses, i.e., ways to get more money from (stupid) people

>>59997463
>copied from /pol, I know you guys will love it

This isnt reddit, no one cares if you "steal" someone's "OC" here you fucking autistic retard faggot bitch nigger

File: 1471701682348.jpg (28KB, 317x428px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 317x428px

>>60018204
>this isn't about tech, this is about "innovative" businesses, i.e., ways to get more money from (stupid) people
>"innovative" businesses, i.e., ways to get more money from (stupid) people
>ways to get more money from (stupid) people

exactly. this is what "tech" has degraded to

>>60017922
kek

>>59997463
no one outside of San Fran would want this

File: 1481841858218.gif (500KB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]

500KB, 500x333px

>>60018234

>>60002344
But we did. You just weren't born when it happened.

Seriously, nobody expected tablets to succeed.

>>59999273
Ask any indian

>>60018523
Learn to read.

>>60017969
To be hones, every day a sucker is born. The way to wealth is figuring out how to squeeze (ha) the money out of them.

What's concerning though is that google, who should know better but have more money than they know what to do with, actually blew 120 millions on this bullshit.

>>60018508
The industry still try to reinvent TC1100 what my buddy used to take notes at uni in 2006-7.

>>60018193

Me too, just be glad we have the memories and the screencaps.

File: pajee.jpg (10KB, 276x270px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 276x270px

>>60018535

>>60018574
and that makes enabling scams ok?

>>60018574
Google bought Nest.

>>59997463
Wow... I think this is most retarded thing I ever saw.
It's not even a juicer, but a fucking machine to get your juice from a custom package.
What the actual fuck.

How this is better than buying juice package and pouring it in the glass/cup?
Fuck, it even would be faster.

I mean, in US you can buy packed juice, right?
Real juice, not juice drinks, I mean.

>>60018627
Indian's poop on the street, instead of in the floor. Pooing in the floor would be better than pooing on the floor.

>>60018646
scam implies it's illegal, so no. This isn't illegal. It's just taking money from retards. All the info is out there.

>>60018691
It's not like there's just juice in the package though. The package contains processed fruits and stuff that still needs to be juiced. You just don't need anything special to juice it.
If you look at the manual video you'll see that you need to remove the pulp from the package if you want to send the package in for recycling.

>>60018712
>scam implies it's illegal
No it doesn't.
There are plenty of scams that don't violate any law and instead rely on things like loopholes and fine prints.
Not saying that this Juicero shit is a scam, but what you said is wrong.

File: 1488254473072.jpg (10KB, 235x250px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 235x250px

>>60018709
>Pooing in the floor would be better than pooing on the floor.

>>60018766
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latrine

>>60018731
Still stupid.
And their ad is one of these where normal everyday things are pictured as fucking rocket science.
>People too stupid to use knives
>Too stupid to do body weight exercises
>Too stupid to vacuum clean
>Too stupid to use frying pan or pot

Now this.
There is really no need for this product.

>>60018801
>floor
>latrine
Posting this from toilet.

>>60018731

It contains fruit pulp. The tissue has already been broken down before the manufacture of the packet, so there is zero benefit there compared to just buying reasonably old packed juice (it's actually probably worse). The entire point of making fresh juice is the fact that the ingredients are fresh and in one piece and the product is consumed immediately afterwards. If you pulp the ingredients, stuff them in sacks and ship them out to people who will strain the juice from them a week later, it's no different than buying packaged juice, except you have to pay $400 up front and then keep paying out of your ass for the illusion of freshness.

>>60013833
What the fuck is the point of any of this shit? Just eat a damn carrot, why does it need to be turned into a liquid via an overpriced machine?

What is up with the video? The way they talk is so fucking annoying. It reminds me of the "solar freaking roadways" speak. Do lebbit and valley fags really fall for that type of speech?

They're probably going to release a cheaper alternative amidst all this intended controversy

>>60015232
Yachts are not an investment, those things are a huge money pit

P R O P R I E T A R Y

J U I C E

B A G S

>>59997463
> Pouches can be disabled remotely
Top tier kek

>>60018889
>a hole in the ground (pit)
Literally pooing in the floor.

File: wojak_00.nocrop.w710.h2147483647.jpg (85KB, 710x823px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 710x823px

>CEO creates the perfect satire of smart technology in the age where you need a smartphone app to unlock your front door
>makes money off of dumb investors who throw money at anything with "smart" in the pitch
>delivers on his pitch in a way to piss off everyone
>millennials start understanding how "smart" stuff is just making menial tasks more complicated and expensive
>investors now try to avoid becoming the next dumbass to invest in smart juicers, and instead put money towards actual good ideas
The CEO comparing himself to Steve Jobs is just icing on the cake. He is taking a shit on every single techfaggot alive.

>>60018754
thank you captain autismo

Why the fuck do I need a smartphone to make a smoothie

Fucking dumb as fuck

>>59997463
i dont understand.
during a sale you can buy a Ninja Bullet for 30usd. You can make a shake in under a minute.

>>60019617
>I'm wrong about something on the internet
>I know !
>I'll call the person correcting me autistic !

>>59999319
kek

>>60022045
yeah but you're autistic for going on and on about it

>>59998968
What exactly is wrong with arstechnica? I would understand if it were kotaku or mashable, but ars?

>>60009765
A lot of these wealthy people don't actually have cash in hand. Or in bank. They have it in stocks. Why would they sell now instead of waiting for it to shoot higher.

>>60020873
can a ninja bullet squeeze a plastic bag?
didnt think so

>>59997463
>Copied from /pol/ I know you guys will love this
go back there

>>60022617
Both are owned by Conde Nast, So in this instance it's actually correct.

>>60019455
>He is taking a shit on every single techfaggot alive.

or is he just a naive silicon valley new age hipster like ben and jerry who really actually think they provide a superior product...?

>>60018691
meh. it's the whole "freshness/farm to table" type ideology that new age hipsters and health freaks love.

the more direct they can contact the "products of mother earth" the better. I'm sure there is some science behind the drawbacks of preservatives of any kind.

any "packaged" juice in the store I'm sure the juicero shills could convince you is deficient or inferior in some way,

it's also a placebo effect somewhat. """fresh""" juice from """fresh"""" real vegetables will magically taste better than bottled

>>60022274
I'm not even that guy, I just wanted to point out how autistic you are.

File: smh.jpg (27KB, 508x524px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 508x524px

>>59998193
Oh so she just has to squeeze a mirror shot of herself in the picture doesn't she.

File: 1481385127236.jpg (17KB, 542x540px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 542x540px

>>59999319
underrated

>>60015242
Tell that to the jews

>>60023201
Lol

>>60022617
I understand they've had a few... politically correct articles that trigger /pol/

Juicero is not actually the dumbest thing to come from Silicon Valley... I mean look at the YCombinator gift guide for some even worse examples including a period subscription, a weed buying app, an intelligent frying pan, a service that puts gas in your car while you're asleep, and a company literally called MemeBox.

http://www.ycgiftideas.com/

File: 1458627610333.jpg (231KB, 1024x1365px) Image search: [Google]

231KB, 1024x1365px

>>59997463
extreme income inequality, the inevitable end of capitalism

these are not for you nor for anyone here, they are for the elites that have literally ran out of ideas on what to waste money
I doubt 10% of people here can even understand the concept

don't be butthurt, let tje rich do whatever they want, what are you a commulist?

>>59999459
>I recognize that slut!

File: f93.png (279KB, 898x790px) Image search: [Google]

279KB, 898x790px

>>60014217
>tfw too smart to buy food preparation devices at a flea market

>>60000000

>>59999999

>>60024888
The fact that it's expensive and overpriced is just one of the numerous things that are wrong with it.
I wouldn't use this shit even I had unlimited money.

>>59999319
Kekerio

>>60003634
Go back to plebbit, Not a joke son.

>>59999465
Nespresso pods vs. packs of ground coffee and a 10€ moka pot

Juicero vs. oranges and and a 20€ squeezer

It's the same

>>60022995
Except Ben and jerries is actually good?

>>60014217
Also, the juice tastes better when you put some effort in making it. In addition, sweet delicious fiber pulp.

There's also this which Juicer filed a patent lawsuit against: http://www.juisir.com

File: maxresdefault (1).jpg (65KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 1280x720px

Since nobody has mentioned it yet, I want to point out that the lady in the OP is Stefania Ferrario, a seriously beautiful Aussie model.

Honest question: Can you just take the QR code off an old pouch and glue/tape it onto a self made pouch to make the device accept it? Sounds like a pretty stupid DRM if so.

>>60029715
I thought she was Katy Perry.

>>60029736
Probably not. The machine just refuses to accept used QR codes. This is a standard principle in medical analyzers where the business model is similar to Juicero's. You just can't insert used reagents, refill them or use expired ones. However, in such case the behavior is more well-founded, that is the patient safety.

>>60029771
So each pouch has a unique code, single use? And true, there is no reason for such behavior except greed, or a broken business model where the manufacturing costs of the devices are subsidized (if that's the correct term, you get the idea) into the costs of the pouches.

>>60029821
>So each pouch has a unique code, single use?
That's how I would do it.

File: 0003215_alldayyoumay-bcaa-1011.png (1MB, 943x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 943x1080px

>>60013216
>this literally make zero sense.

Because you are a retard

>>60029715
She's clearly Katy Perry

File: 1800.jpg (323KB, 1800x1800px) Image search: [Google]

323KB, 1800x1800px

>>60031384
yup

Toothpasteero™
>Paste comes in one use packages
>Place the paste pack into the unit and close the lid.
>After your Toothpasteero™ has verified the barcode on your paste pack, you can press the front button.
>Hold your brush under the spout, and wait 4-6 seconds while the unit is pressing your toothpaste.
>After you finished brushing, remove the paste pack and ship it out for recycling.

Its as easy as that to use your Toothpasteero™, and the paste packs are only 3usd each.

Just eat fruit you faggots.

>>60032571
Are all forms of preparing/changing food faggoty? Or is it just making juice?

File: 1309379914626.jpg (8KB, 187x187px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 187x187px

>>59998509
>https://youtu.be/5lutHF5HhVA

>>60033458
I want an edgy e-celeb to get a hold of one of these pouches and squeeze one between their butt cheeks.

>>59997463 (OP)
Based T-Mobile CEO was mocking this shit too.

>>60015376
Our juice doesn't come in bags.

>>60017773
Juicero problems: manufacturer disabled my juice bag, so now my $400 juicer doesn't squeeze the juice and I have to squeeze it with my bear hands.

>>60022617
they put themselves firmly against Gamergate back in the day, going so far as to call everyone who visited cripple chan a terrorist (not an exaggeration thats literally what they wrote).

Ever since then they should be boycotted completely, even though they do have some very good articles. Use archive . is instead.

Dumbest design ever.

WTF you need a qr scanner inside the machine? Way cheaper to install an ESP8266 and connect to the Juicer hotspot and setup through app.

Who the fuck designed this shit.

File: firefox_2017-04-23_13-41-03.png (144KB, 157x388px) Image search: [Google]

144KB, 157x388px

>>60034972
>Who the fuck designed this shit.
juice

People on the internet making jokes was the first time I even heard about this dumb juicer thing. Is this something that normies were actually hyped about or something?

>>60034972
The QR scanner is to scan juice bags so it can check them through an online database.

>>60035121
I woulda went with RFID. Easier to fake QR code than RFID.

>>60035093
Some organic vegan hipster types were apparently hyped enough for this shit to get $100+m of investors' money.
But overall it only blew up on the internets after Bloomberg posted a video of them squeezing the bags by hand (and then even bigger after the CEO posted a completely ludicrous rebuttal)

as protection for people manually squeezing the pouches, they should insert some sharp objects to puncture anyone trying to manually squeezepouch

>>60035154
You can't really fake their QR codes since they're unique for every bag and linked to your specific juicer the instant you order them.

>>60035214
use the phone to scan qr. either way, looks like they gave 0 shits about cost cutting.

>>60035276
>use the phone to scan qr

...and then what?
As I've said, the codes are unique to each bag, linked to your juicer in their database as soon as they're ordered, and marked as used once the bag has been squeezed.

>looks like they gave 0 shits about cost cutting

No shit, Sherlock. It was originally set to retail at $700.

>>60035330
>..and then what?

you don't need a qr scanner built into the juicer.

>>60013528
Because the average person is an idiot. The average person also still has a deeply engrained pack mentality and will follow trends no matter how ridiculous because it is part of human nature. Companies take advantage of this by using advertising to portray things as popular among the famous and good looking.

>>60035359
That would make the juicer not just expensive bullshit but extremely non-ergonomic expensive bullshit. At least in its current state the juicer can be operated without the phone once you have set it up.

>>60011167
>/pol/
>those hands
Memes were real