>sit down to take a shit >package arrives EVERY.

>>59869275
So? Go get it with your pants down to your ankles.

>not wearing a daip on delivery days

>he doesn't live in a civilized country where packages are delivered to your local postal office so you can go and pick it up whenever it suits you instead of letting UPS cuck you by coming to your home at a random time between 6 in the morning and 9 in the evening and if you don't open they leave the package outside so jamal steals it and makes a thread on /g/ on how to unlock the iphone

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>GO to WORK
>Loos are all occupied

EVERY TIME

>having your life together to have enough money to buy packages at a normal rate

>Current state of /g/

>>59869275
>Not having a proper package manager.

Stop ordering online.

>>59869275
> Not living rurally, where the postie just drops it off without a signature.
I think I've only ever signed for a package once. when it was a huge, expensive thing. Postie just left a slip of paper in the mailbox, along with a pen, so that I could sign it and have the package left at my door the next day.

>>59869341
>sign receipt before getting the package

That entirely defeats the purpose of signing a receipt.

>>59869275
Stop pacman -Syu'ing.

>>59869305
I want to buy whoever shopped this a drink

>not getting your packages delivered to your place of work

Ultimate convenience

>>59869275
>sit down
>not squat

>not owning a house in a neighborhood safe enough that they leave packages on your front door
Shiggy

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>>59869275
>/g/ is for the discussion of technology and related topics

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>>59871619
Pajeet please.

>>59869275
>wait all day for the package
>have to shit real bad all day
>insides are about to burst
>finally after waiting 8 hours i can't hold it anymore
>go take a shit
>package arrives mid shit
>hurry to squeeze the turd out as fast as possible
>see tyrone ride off on his stolen bike with my package from the bathroom window as i wipe my ass

>>59869275

>not tricking reality into bringing you your packages on demand by taking "faux shits".

Gotta sit there for at least 30seconds though, and make some grunting noises as well. Reality can be duped but it's not stupid.

>>59872294
kek

>>59872048
mate what he meant is that there's an article around that says squatting with you legs at stomach level is better for shitting.

>>59869305
How can a doctor be so fat?

>>59869295

Over here, they attempt delivery in person, and if you don't open the door, they take it to the local office and leave a note in your mailbox instead. From there, you can go pick up the package with the note (starting the next day), ask for another delivery attempt of a date of your choosing (starting the next day and with a limit of something like two weeks from first delivery attempt), or you can tell them they can just leave the package at your house/neighbor's/...

At least, depending on the delivery company. I live in a small country, but routinely get companies from about five different companies (national post, neighboring country's post, three independents), and it's largely the same idea.

Whether or not deliveries need to be signed for is usually up to the sender, not the receiver, and costs extra for them.

>not using a delivery company that you can track their van and they tell you what time frame they will post it (thanks dpd)

I once had to apologize to the deliveryman for my morning wood when I opened the door.

>>59873054
France?

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>>59869470

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>package arrives
>mom is home so I cant leave my room
>she isn't expecting a package so she sends it back
J
U
S
T

>>59873235

Belgium. Referring to bpost and PostNL.

>>59873253
>mom is home so I cant leave my room
Why?

>>59873402
Authism.

How long does it take for you to take shit? I do it very fast but more times a day.

>>59874774
It's very fast most of the time, about 30 seconds, unless I haven't gotten enough fiber in the previous days. Usually twice a day. I stay in the toilet for 10 minutes regardless.

>>59869275
>gf goes to work to fund my neetism
>start to jack off to ponies and hentai because lol 3DPD
>aliexpress package N°6587 arrives
everytime

>>59873054
Similar in Poortugal

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>>59869275

>mfw I live in comfy apartments where deliveries are left at the front office, with immediate email notifications,

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>waiting for 10 hours on delivery day
>"absent recipient"

Just fucking happened. Fuck state owned delivery companies.

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>>59869305
Ayy lmao detected

>random guy with a packed Volvo parks near my driveway
>wonder what that's about
>it's DHL with my graphics card
Can't they at least hire some goddamn vans for the delivery people? They're using their own cars for God's sake.