>sitting in public space, Uni for instance >laptop open,

File: IMG_20170312_234410.jpg (68KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 1280x720px

>>59432418
I just play my Nintendo Switch in public and no one ever enters my peripherals.

Only comment I got about my Thinkpad in public was "...Why is the screen square?"
Never seen a 4:3? How old are you exactly?

>>59432418

Flashing a wad of 20s, or carrying a box of puppies, might be more effective.

>>59432418
lol

>>59432418
No, I just drop a monster condom for my magnum dong.

>Sitting in public space
>Laptop open, browsing gerontophiliac scat while blasting awfuly dubbed post-witch vaporgaze with seapunk influences from phone speakers
>girl comes over and sits in my peripherial region
>instantly drop my box of 20 puppies wrapped in XL condoms
>get mad pussy
Works everytime

>>59432418
>Has it ever worked and impressed a girl that you were programming or something?
When have women ever been impressed by programming?

>>59432418
>He explains his virginity protection moves
Yes, that works every time. For ever.

>>59432745
>carrying a box of puppies
werks, but you still need the looks if you want it to be more than a friendly one-time conversation.

>>59432418
>impress women with your programming skills
Is this some kind of joke? Or are you actually autistic enough to think girls would like you for this? If you want to impress women you should have learned how to play music

I just pretend to yawn and stretch and 'accidentally' flop my giant dong onto the table

>>59432418
I load up WoW and leave my blood elf on the screen, that usually does it. (or selfies of my junk)

>sitting in a public space

no, i can't say i've ever tried this

>go to a cafe
>open my thinkpad
>go to /g/desktop threaf
>start to make webm grabx11
>the waiter comes and ask me to please knock off whatever I'm doing and leave the place

File: 1181142894816.png (94KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 800x800px

>>59433548
>seapunk

Im vaguely interested

>>59432418
>sitting in public space, Uni for instance
>laptop open, just lurking /g/ or something equally unproductive
>girl comes over and sits in my peripheral region
>I close my laptop and leave

>>59433580
bump for answers

>>59432418
are you retarded? or just autistic? this is great.

Women can be dumb semen receptables, but also privy to your showoff attempts this pathetic. Most likely she had your screen in peripheral vision, noticed that you noticed her in screen refletction, you switched to be mad haxor in futile attempt to give off an impression as result, and she cringed a little inside.

There are ways to do it though. For example, click through facebook chats with other women (can be faked, but is a little bit of an elaborate set up), nobody cares about you clacking gibberish into a command line, the effect will be the opposite.

>>59432745
do the puppies have to be living

File: 1446832596838.jpg (57KB, 567x561px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 567x561px

>>59432418
>Be in public space.
>Have crappy processor.
>Open HTOP and attach to top right corner of display.
>Have no software of the bottom side of HTOP.
>Firefox fills the other half of the screen.
>Girls don't care because they don't know what I'm doing anyways.
>Fuck 'em.
>Go outside, smoke little bit of weed in a pinkie sized bowl.
>Return.
>Continue trying not to destroy processor while high as shit with original gen Beats headphone because the Monster drivers in it weren't bad.
>No Problems.

They don't need to know what I'm doing anyways. Only time people were impressed were mates at my old school when SBC dev boards were a craze and there were so many bomb jokes about me I was legitimately thought of as a hacker.
mfw I just sat around smoking weed and watching boob tube all day.

>>59432418
I'm convinced this thread is bait. No one can be this autistic.

I'd do this if I wanted to look retarded so nobody would bother me.

Literally nobody will be impressed by that shit.

Curious. Have you ever fult the urge to run nmap fbi.gov in a dark lit room, OP?

File: GSX-S750_WHT_L6.jpg (467KB, 1280x853px) Image search: [Google]

467KB, 1280x853px

>>59432418
t. autism

Buy a motorcycle instead

>>59433580
When it makes the programmer money

>>59434154
Depends on the person. Just make sure they are dead to filter out normies.

>>59434319
I don't know about but I'm having an urge to do it myself now.

>>59433580
When it fits their narrative.

>>59433580
>When have women ever been impressed by programming?
Way to be autistic, m8.

It's not the programming itself. It's what the programming entails and represents.

Programmers are:
>intelligent
>motivated and persistent
>in constant occupational demand

Not to mention the fact that any woman is probably thinking to herself that "Whoa. This guy's a programmer. If he's patient enough to learn the dry nuances of that machine and manipulate it to his whim, what else is he patient enough for? Will he listen to me talk about my day? Will he listen and learn when I tell him how to tongue my clit?"

Jesus. Anyone that doesn't understand how attractive the male programmer is to the feminine mind hasn't thought this shit through.

>>59434723

I can only imagine this is the thought process behind every white knight feminist.

Normally its advisable to try to mask any tell tale signs of me being a neckbeard loser.

>>59434723
If he's patient enough to learn the dry nuances of that machine and manipulate it to his whim, what else is he patient enough for? Will he listen to me talk about my day? Will he listen and learn when I tell him how to tongue my clit?"
t. autist
wtf dude aha

File: hysterical laughter, derision, facepalm.gif (1MB, 311x240px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 311x240px

>>59434154

>>59434723
Programmers are:
>arrogant and with inflated egos
>clingy and bone-headed
>only if you can mask the two above, employable

>Not to mention the fact that any woman is probably thinking to herself that "Whoa. This guy's a programmer. If he's patient enough to learn the dry nuances of that machine and manipulate it to his whim, what else is he patient enough for? Will he listen to me talk about my day? Will he listen and learn when I tell him how to tongue my clit?"

The fatal flaw here is that most of coder ability (and more or less most of engineering) is self-taught and solipsistic. Monkeying someone as you suggest is a female forte.

We'd need sexbots.stackexchange.com first for your line of thought to get off the ground.

>>59432418
>she took the bait and is approaching me
>suddenly start to get nervous
>hey there :)
>h-hey
>(laptop almost slides off)
>she asks me what I'm doing
>Here, I'll show you...
>can't look at my hand to look up my i3wm bindings
>my hands shake nervously as I fumble around without being able to use the touchpad which I felt too superior for
>I'll just try the things I learned at the PUA course next time then

>>59434209
Found the 16 year old.

>>59432418
>Has it ever worked and impressed a girl that you were programming or something?
I doubt it.

At school people are pretty used to the sight of other people programming because the CS faculty is separate.

In public I think people are just going to think you're a weirdo.

>>59435340
It's all about how you present yourself. If you look like a little nerd manchild fresh out of the comic book store your chances of impressing anyone are kinda slim. People think in stereotypes because it gives them a quick way to judge and categorize people. You can use that to your advantage by looking respectable, like somebody that she wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with in public. Conversational skills also matter.

I.e.
>Hey, what are you doing here?

>I'm programming
This is short and to the point and as such absolutely useless in casual conversation.

>Well, I am working on a project and since it's nice and warm I thought I might as well do it outside and just enjoy the sun while working
This gives away some basic information about you that girls like to hear, ie you being productive while also making the impression of being laid back and at ease,suggesting you have your shit under control.

>>59432712
I save my jizz and let it dry into a fine power that I spread over all of the seats

>>59435649
So this is what the neurotypical world is like

>>59434723
they're more likely to think your have Aspergers or low level autism or something
Maybe she'll 'll think you're hacking her facebook account

>>59435311
Found the kid with down syndrome.

>>59435765
Yes

Learn it, use it, master it

>>59435705
>fine power jizz

Mmmm

You are obviously not programming if you have the free time to register random whores moving around you.

>sitting in public space, Uni for instance
>laptop open, just lurking /gif/ or something equally unproductive
>girl comes over and sits in my peripheral region
>instantly start jerking off with intermittent pauses during which I study my screen contemplatively while rubbing my chin

Anyone else do this? Has it ever worked?

Has it ever worked and impressed a girl that you were a faggot or something?

File: avgStemKHV.jpg (311KB, 923x1600px) Image search: [Google]

311KB, 923x1600px

>>59432418
Yes, high wpm result is what change attractive female pussy from desert into waterfall

pic related

Never. I never had a laptop. Now I do but I wouldn't fucking do that shit.

If we're talking about studying, I remember once a few years ago I was sitting outside the class and most girls in my class surrounded me while I was doing some mad homework. They were just watching over me and talking pretty decent things about me, but I smashed no vagina.

>>59436135
You obviously can't read if you think the OP ever implied he was seriously programming instead of trying to court pussy.

File: 1486296909914.jpg (136KB, 960x1280px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 960x1280px

>>59432418
I don't think anyone would be very impressed by atom or whatever shit IDE you use.

>>59436343
How do I impress girls with my programming skills?

>>59436343
>>59436373
And my general CompSci savviness?

>>59436343
That's a man, though.

hi

>>59436382
vim

>>59436982
atom supports vim packages

>>59433458

This actually works. Like it sounds crazy but drop it and a grill will pick it up and laugh and you laugh and start some banter.

I tried it once as a joke and it worked and then did it a few more times.

File: laugingsnorks.jpg (110KB, 400x358px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 400x358px

>>59432418
>sitting in public space

Ha ha! That's where you're wrong!

File: 1488342361842.jpg (117KB, 549x718px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 549x718px

>sitting in public area
>girl sits down in my peripheral area
>alt-tab out of my emacs window
>open connection to deepweb bestiality livecam
>turn up volume
>reach free hand into sweat pants
>rhythmically shuffle my junk around while breathing raggedly
>notice girl is staring at me
>she's licking her lips and twisting a tangle of hair around a finger
>wink at her
>she blushes
>arch back
>moan loundly
>shudder
>orgasm devolves into coughing fit
>sweatpants now wet & sticky
>begin ignoring girl
>close browser
>open runescape
>mine several thousand coal ores
>girl finally leaves
>go back to programming

>>59432418
I have impressed womin unintentionally before

>be gril in uni
>finish last class of the day
>go to library to do homework and such
>all the good window seats are taken
>head for nearest seat
>walk past some guy clearly shitposting on an image board
>he notices me and frantically tries to alt-tab to something else
>starts meaninglessly mashing his keyboard like a chimp
>keeps glancing at me from the corner of his eye
>accidentally make eye contact
>he shifts so i can see his screen and tries to give me this smug look
>can't even clearly see what he typed on from this distance, looks like a notepad document
>try to hide my growing concern
>turn around and get to work
>he stops "typing" for a second
>can feel him return to shitposting with renewed fervor

>>59437740
It's honestly disgusting how much influence your kind has on us.

>>59432418
>Sitting in public place
>Girl sits in peripheral
>Slam the lid on my IBM think pad
>Everyone looks in my direction
>"Heh, Sorry, but I'm not into 3DPD"

File: 1447987655698.png (814KB, 604x717px) Image search: [Google]

814KB, 604x717px

>>59432418

>>59436177
The guy who makes these is so fucking butthurt it's hilarious

>>59432418
omg i thought i was the only one this shallow

>>59434723

You don't actually talk to girls that much, do you?

>>59432418
great thread, op

no really you've done well bravo

>>59432418
no but I'm probably not trying very hard because when that happens I'm actually just switching back to normal work so I don't get caught using /g/ unironically

>in hospital waiting room (regular checkup)
>im there early
>decide to play some games on my phone while i wait
>i like crossword puzzles, so i do some of those
>girl sits next to me
>starts looking over at my phone
>"encourage" she says
>this bitch just solved 3 down
>i was looking forward to doing 3 down
>turn off my phone, stand up, walk to the other end of the waiting room and sit down there instead
>continue my fucking puzzle

Real story, not even trolling or shitposting
> Open 15 inch Retina MacBook Pro
> Girl literally comes at me
> "wow, what a beautiful laptop, what is it?"
> "oh, this is a MacBook"
> "it's beautiful, very slim!"
> "uhh thanks"
If I wasn't such an autist, I could fuck her.

>>59440011
i always feel weird saying "thanks" when someone praises something i own, its not like i designed the fucking thing, i just bought it

but if i dont say "thanks" afterward, they look at me weird, so now i just do it

File: 1482367572013.png (196KB, 680x649px) Image search: [Google]

196KB, 680x649px

>>59432418
Yes it works all the time keep it up

File: it's you.png (407KB, 920x900px) Image search: [Google]

407KB, 920x900px

>>59432418
Holy shit, you sound like a hideous autistic faggot that has never even gotten close to touching a vagina.

>>59439904
Fucking wizard

>>59440011
What kind of girl doesn't know what a MBP is at this point?

I thought normies loved them

>>59440083
What else should you say? Someone is praising something you own, it's basically na extendion of yourself.

By the same analogy, you feel sorry for someone that lost it's smartphone or whatever.

>>59432418
>Anyone else do this? Has it ever worked?
Yes but I do it to actually work and not impress some girl with my terminal colour scheme.

Also how in god's name do you expect to pick up girls that way? They're right, this board is full of virgins.

>>59433548
>instantly drop my box of 20 puppies wrapped in XL condoms
this got me

>>59434723
Programmers are elitist, stressed the fuck out and are a dime a dozen. Have you ever worked a job related to computers at all? Get the fuck outta here.

>>59435649
Do you actually believe this? Christ.

>>59440153
Most normies can't recognize a Macbook Pro due to the fact that they don't have a logo or company name on it's front (except the newer ones)

If the shinny Applel logo is not visible, it's just another laptop for normies.

File: its you.jpg (54KB, 848x860px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 848x860px

>>59434723
HAHAHAHAHA

Holy fuck this is the most hilarious thing I've read on 4chins this week. Go back to r/asianmasculinity, you hideous delusional autistic faggot hahahaha

I actually feel bad for you, knowing how much of a beta retard you must be to actually believe the shit you typed out

File: 1484205471362.jpg (39KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 480x480px

>>59432418
>thinks that ignoring a woman while pretending to be working attracts a woman

That's not how it works /g/

I'm almost sad I have to write that.

1) bugging a woman who's actually working =! pussy
2) ignoring a woman who's not working but fishing for men =! pussy
3) not having something of value to a woman fishing for men =! pussy

So pasty anon, if you are not attractive, don't have money, and don't talk to a woman you'll never get pussy. And even then it only works if she's fishing for men, not doing homework.

So take the words of Hockey Legend Wayne Gretzky to heart, you'll score on exactly 0% of the shots you never take. If you don't get off your ass and say hi you'll never get pussy. good luck, hopefully this will get you moving in the right direction.

>sitting in public area, usually the lounge in the uni's science building
>open laptop, revealing a wallpaper w/ sexy lolis on it
>start watching episodes of Nisemonogatari on it
I drown in loli pussy everynight. Remember, a hentai a day keeps the sloppy 3D vaginas away!

>>59437961
>Slam the lid on my IBM think pad
>Everyone looks in my direction
>"Heh, Sorry, but I'm not into 3DPD"
This guy knows what's up. Just be gentler next time - you'll hurt the screen.

>>59440011
> Open 15 inch Retina MacBook Pro
> Girl literally comes at me
> "wow, what a beautiful laptop, what is it?"
> "oh, this is a MacBook"
> "it's beautiful, very slim!"
> "not as beautiful and slim as you..."
Solved. Next!

>>59440185
>Go back to r/asianmasculinity
Oh lord, at first I thought it was a fetish sub but then I realized it was just a cesspool of failed Chinese kids who probably didn't pass their semester finals and were dishonored by their family.

>>59435649
r/asianmasculinity poster detected

Kill yourself dude

>>59440219
It's easily one of the top three cringiest, most pathetic places full of hideous betacuck slant subhuman losers on the internet

>>59440196
this is the truth

let me tell you my sad tale

>had been a fat fuck my whole life
>always assumed women werent interested for that reason alone
>5 years ago i decide to start losing weight
>i lost a huge amount of weight over the course of a year and a half
>actually look pretty decent
>assumed women would just start talking to me, and showing interest in me
>nope
>if anything, women were even more reluctant to approach me, both in the workplace and out
>turns out they are generally more self-concious about themselves than i was about myself
>despite knowing this, still too scared to approach women and ask them out
>its not just the fear of rejection, its the potential loss of dignity if she decides to make fun of me
>eventually start putting weight back on
>i now have a .jpg waifu and a date with my right hand
>dont be me

>>59440396
you should go to parties anon, go alone. Drink and go to the bitch hunting, you WILL find pussy this way, I guarantee you.

Now go back to losing weight, you lazy fat fuck, unless you want a fat bitch just like you.

>>59440485
im on it, sir

>>59440396
You need to get muscular. After 9 years of lifting, did a light cycle, orals only. Can tell you 100% that being a jacked, ripped guy of decent height with a kind face, girls will talk to you, every day. Occasionally a club slut will simply decide she's going home with you and hover around you all night until you take her home.

File: 1487862183732.jpg (67KB, 604x717px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 604x717px

>>59432418
>Run syskey and find wiruses
>Wow, pajeet, u r so smart pls go poo with me

File: thegreatmemewar.jpg (93KB, 717x800px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 717x800px

>tfw i don't carry my laptop around because i've lost the habit of concealing my porn so much i use it in bed

>>59433548
>>59434154
nice
>>59434723
Fuck, and here I thought I was delusional. Thanks for making me feel better bout myself /g/.

>>59436343
>emacs
into the fucking trash

>>59434723
you are more delusional than the kid wrapping puppies in XL condoms.

>>59441238
kek

>>59440196
>=!
Shouldn't it be either "!=" or "= !pussy" ?

>long term gf breaks up with me
>been almost a year since i've had sex
>growing more autistic by the day
anyone else feeling this

File: PEPE1L7L.jpg (124KB, 579x553px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 579x553px

>>59443739
yea except im a virgin and never had a gf

File: 1481062394906.jpg (2KB, 114x125px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 114x125px

>>59443739
In the same boat. GF broke up with me 2 years ago, every day girls seem more disgusted by me. Probably gonna die alone. At least I'm pretty wealthy.

>>59440011
I literally dod that with some ipad first gen like 10 times when spartphones and tablets was yet the future, god bless 2010

>>59443739
Past summer for me, 4 years with her, somewhat broke inside me I'm unable to get into new girls anymore after 10 years chaining relationships/one night holes and I'm turning 30 in 2 months

>HOW DO I IMPRESS WOMEN???

Try not revolving your lives around them and not caring about impressing them.

You'll become a more productive person regardless if you disagree with this method.

>>59443739
Want to break up with current gf but scared of this.
She is also insanely in love with me and wants to marry so I feel bad, waiting for the right time.

>>59444210
There's really no "right" time. I was in that exact situation, only I was the one dumped. It hurt intensely but I at least got to move on. You need to give her that opportunity to move on and find someone else to love her, or you're just wasting her time. If you care about her at all, you need to dump her ASAP.

>>59444278
But shes in a very stressful and difficult time in school (really, doing a PhD and her academic progress affects her housing situation with the scholarship) and I don't want her to worse off because of my decision

>>59444303
shit man, you just gonna have to do it cos each day youre wasting her time. She'll have to cope

File: Cq96hCCWAAYASM8.jpg (331KB, 900x1200px) Image search: [Google]

331KB, 900x1200px

>>59432418
I've worked on code in public before, and if anything one of my friends will ask me what I'm working on. It's not a pickup tactic by any means but sometimes it's fun to explain to people your coding process.

>>59432418
> Has it ever worked and impressed a girl that you were programming or something?
I cringed.

>>59432418
Are you really that insecure?

>>59440165
>Programmers are elitist, stressed the fuck out and are a dime a dozen. Have you ever worked a job related to computers at all? Get the fuck outta here.
tfw worked only webdev and mobile dev jobs and it's like hanging out with the bros and getting paid fat stacks to do so
most of my coworkers don't even know what it's like to stock shelves or to do any manual labor
>mfw half of them have those ironic lumberjack beards
:^)

>>59434723
This, also the job title just sounds impressive, especially if you're good-looking and have a decent personality. But virgins on /g/ will never know these feels.

>>59432418
Cringiest shit I've read today.
kys

Can't believe all these failed normalfags who took this thread seriously.

>>59440083
>>59440158
Just make conversation about the object, you autistic fucks.

>> "it's beautiful, very slim!"
"Yeah, I really like it. It cost more than I'm used to paying but it was definitely worth it, especially for getting my coursework done. What's your major? Want to get some coffee later?"

>>59439039
hahahah yeah, i know, right? you'll never find out though, since you'll never get married. probably for the best.

>>59434723

Programmer here.

I don't "tongue the clit" ever because eating pussy is for betas.

>>59444974
>not physically worshipping the pussy and getting off on doing so
you are smalltime

I once impressed a group of girls at a party by talking about programming microcontrollers, circuit design and my soldering skills.

Sadly they're not the kind of girls I'd like anywhere near my penis.

>>59432418
No.

>>59432739
Not born yet, I still use 5:4 as second display

>>59440011
similarly i had a gay guy come up to me asking what model was my laptop (Zenbook UX305) because he found it looked "striking".

girls don't usually initiate a conversation like this. most of them don't give a fuck about technology and aren't going to pretend that they do if they just want to fuck you. also, there's always the risk that a conversation about tech with a female will reveal you as, or make you seem like, an autist. most females do not fuck autists.

File: chrome_2017-03-17_13-47-06.png (4KB, 351x87px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 351x87px

>>59434723

File: 1383142067440.jpg (694KB, 1543x1200px) Image search: [Google]

694KB, 1543x1200px

>>59434209
The thread just keeps getting worse and worse.

File: 1488459109315.jpg (25KB, 412x392px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 412x392px

>qt grill sits next to me on my thinkpad with lainchan and hack the world stickers
>open riced urxvt with loli pantsu background and upscaled bitmap fonts
>enter cd cd .. cd ~/ ps -aux cd src/ htop cat hello_world.c like a boss
>she moves away because i'm too good for her

>>59445383
>because i'm too good for her
;^)

>>59434723
>Will he listen to me talk about my day? Will he listen and learn when I tell him how to tongue my clit?
no way

>>59436373
hack into her compy and set wallpaper to a photo of you, then disable her input-devices and write poetry in real-time in notepad while she shits bricks

>>59443739
>>59443893
>>59444210
>gf
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Why are you people here this is a safe space LEAVE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE