What's your best horror story about being asked to look

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>do anything
>something happens later
>YUO BORK IT

>>58690365
>dust.jpg

More like indoorsmoking.jpg

>>58690365
>check my 10 year old brothers computer
>he says that there viruses
>10GB of incest porn
>creepshots of (his older my younger) sister
>he says that the virus put them on his computer
>doubt.jpg

I had to sit him down and explain how sick it was. then I threatened to tell our parents if he didn't stop

that was about 7 years ago

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posting image because i get sick of typing it out

>>58690578
You hacked the PSU? Impressive

>>58690544
Nicotine and dust is the worst combo

>>58690554
>10 years old already watch porn.
I hope trump nuke this world faster.

>>58690554
You copied the files I hope... Link?

>was asked by friend to look over his paper
>add line break after every word
>doesnt show in the word processor
>he hands in his paper on a disk the next day
>furious teacher returns with stack of paper in his hand smacks the disk on the table and dismisses him from class


good old days...

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>>58690668
Oops image had nudes.

>>58690668
I made him delete them

>>58690682
how did you add line breaks that don't appear on screen?

>grandpa says the internet connection does not work
>open browser
>everything ok
>turns out for some reason (chrome update?!?) his stored passwords were deleted
>cannot read emails anymore because he does not know his password
>try to recover password
>the old man cannot remember the answer to the security question "what is the name of your first teacher?"
>call the e-mail provider and try to fix shit
>wait forever in line
>talk to half a dozen idiots, trying to verify the old fucks identity over the phone
>they finally believe me and say they changed the password
>will send him a letter with the new login info within 3-4 days
>hang up
>"ah wait, I think your uncle wrote the password down on this note I have in my wallet."
>try logging in
>does not work because password was changed
>tfw grandpa starts screaming at me, claiming I ruined his email account

>>58690631
I think I was like 9 having my first orgasm stumbling into demon girl on newgrounds.

>>58690722
>grandpa starts screaming at me, claiming I ruined his email account
Why are old people so fucking abusive?

>>58691231
They don't understand. I tried to explain my 53 year old father in law that He has to remember the Password of his E-Mail or else He can't log into his Account from a different Computer.

He yelled and got mad as fuck.

>>58691359
You probably tried to act smug, so he had to put you in your place.

>>58690698
Hows it feel to be a fegget?

>>58690365
Passive cooling. What did you expect

>>58690699
windows uses \r\n
nix uses \n

so a \n in a windows is an invisible char but the printer thinks of it as a linebreak

Telling people that they have to remember their passwords is pretty much my entire job. How hard can it be.

>>58693325
There's a fan underneath that green vent. How old are you?

>>58692026
spotted the wannabe alpha male

>>58690365
Certainly your Aunt saw the toolbars, the foreign gambling site, and the popups. Certainly you asked her WHY she didn't want to reinstall, right?

I hate these fake stories.

>>58693457
No there isn't you fucking Moron, had had tons of those computers when I was a kid

>>58693507
Not that guy, you're wrong.

>>58693395
Does this still work?

>>58693507
Not that guy or the other guy. There's a fan in there. You're dumb.

>>58690365
>my grandfathers xp shits the bed
>computers still works however
>only ever uses it to go on internet
>says he'll buy a new computer
>tell him to wait and ill cook something up
>install lubuntu on the computer
>make it as dead simple as possible
>even used classic theme restorer on firefox so it would look like the outdated version he was using
>bring it back to him
>call back a week later
>"i don't like it"
>end up buying a new computer
>ended up buying a 1000$ all in one hp screen computer that came with wireless mouse and keyboard
>told him he didn't need to spend that much
>ask me to set it up
>set up windows 8 without making a microsoft account or passwords
>again i make it as dead simple as possible

>one week later
>calls me to tell me his having problems with his computer and to come check it out
>his retarded girlfriends niece made a microsoft account, added a password, install a whole bunch of software like skype and told him he could speak with his brother if he has a webcam
>the problem he has with his computers is he forgot his password that she put
>im super fucking pissed since i set it up to be simple for him
>starts asking me how to use skype and how he can talk to his brother
>try to explain to him that his brother needs a webcam, skype and an account to be able to talk to him
>"yeah but he has a webcam"
>"but he needs the software and an account"
>"but what does that matter he has a webcam"
>"but you need an account and the software"
>"yeah but.." Ad infinitum

>>58690682
>asked by friend to look over his paper
>gives me a pdf, asks me to give him notes and does the changes himself
He's a good friend.

>>58695554
>calls me another time because he can't get into his computer
>he got locked out of his computer by his microsoft account
>google it and it turns out it's some sort of issue thats unfixable
>do a factory reset
>again set it up without an account or password
>tell him not to let his gf's niece touch the computer

>another time im visiting over
>tells me he has problems with his computer
>ask me "wheres my bar?"
>"what bar?"
>"my bar"
>"but what bar, that doesn't tell me what it is"
>"my bar there"
>"What bar, what program, what does it do?"
>"MY BAR"
>turns out his internet explorer got unpinned from the task bar and he couldn't find it

>another time i'm over at his place
>windows 10 forced install and bug halfway thru
>did a factory reset
>it forced installed later again and my grandfather got pissed that he got internet overcharge
>eventually im over at his place and he ask me to look over that computer
>he can't access the desktop anymore
>he deleted the desktop tile in metro
>i don't use windows 8/10 so im fucking lost
>could never figure out how to get it back and he told me to forget about it

Old people and computers don't mix

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>>58695718
Jesus it sounds massively annoying. I feel lucky to have grown with gramps that were technologically capable.
Seeing where we are I doubt it but I wonder if in 45 years we'll be left out of technology like them.

>>58695827
I am pretty confident this would not happen. It's either you're capable of technology, either not.
Like there are normies, which cannot handle anything more complicated than iPhone - a younger version of those describe above.

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>sister asks me to fix PC because it's running slow
>load up
>normiepc.jpg
>bad resolution wallpaper, endless toolbars and popups linking to fake ransomware sites
>tell her I'm going to uninstall the browser because it seems miraculously to not have infected her PC other than IE
>do a fresh IE install, also install chrome with adblock etc
>2 hours later get a phone call with her screaming at me
>"I can't log into my emails you broke my PC"
>she had no idea what her passwords were and had them all inputed ready

>>58690554
>creepshots of (his older my younger) sister

>then I threatened to tell our parents if he didn't stop
Wrong. The correct answer is:
>then I threatened to tell our parents if he didn't hook me up

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>>58690682

>>58695914
So why didn't you look them up in the saved passwords list, write them down for her and input them prior to her using it, saving them in the new browser? Not only does it save them the hassle and saves you the headache of them nagging you about it, it gives you an opportunity to gain control over other people's accounts which is always handy to have even if you make no use of it.

>>58695857
Yeah maybe you're right, people that grew up with computers from the 80s to late 00s (where everything started to get much more ergonomic) will probably retain that latent knowledge about computers.
I've got some relative that spends all his time on his cellphone/tablet but couldn't install a pirated game (or a game at all) to save his life. He only knows to buy games from steam. He doesn't know any of his passwords because chrome does it for him. It's quite interesting to see how the improvement in design turned the average literacy lower. Guess cars are seeing something like that as well with self driving and more electronic parts being added.

>>58695969
This. It's pretty much a given at this point that normies have sunk below the concept of passwords and security and need to be handheld through it.

I had to write down how to copy and paste text because my grandma wanted her weekly bible passages in a text document. I don't even want to go into how bad my mom is because it gives me a headache thinking about it.

>grandma gets an iPhone and iPad after grandpa dies
>Can't get a phone line so she tethers the iPad to the iPhone
>Show her how to do it once
>She never has to ask again
>Actually learns how to use them and only asks me a few questions
I love my family.

>>58693507
that is a ducted cooler, usually used to make bad coolers perform WELL above what they have any right to perform like and not used anymore because fucking windowed cases.

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>>58695969

Because I'm not a psychopath and have a normal family life where I'm not trying to leverage my sister for nudes?

>>58695827
Nah, old people grew up in a time pre computers, or at best in a time where using a computer meant you were VERY well educated.

we came in at best when computers were new and first coming to homes, or at worst, computers finally got relatively stable.

If we ever used win 98 or xp, we have troubleshooted enough issues that we at least know where to look, or what we are looking for though may not know the name, and we know how to look up on an infinite resource dump that is the internet, how to find the solution.

though people who only use tablets or cellphones, they are going to be as fucking bad as the old people were because they have no access to shit in the thing, and any issue they have is at best reinstall and its fixed, or at worst format and its fixed, if neither work, there is no fixing the problem period, get new device.

>>58696119
FUCK YOU MAN
>gramps internet not working, have to drive over to his place to fix it
>i try to explain to him how to fix it over the phone
>grampa is the cable pluggedinto the computer?
>which one?
>the ether-- the white one
>they are all white
>fml
>go over to his house 25 miles away and figure out the ethernet cable was FUCKING UNPLUGGED BY A CENTIMETER
>get superglue and glue it into laptop
problem solved.

>>58696218
Not even shit like that. If you're playing tech support for them, it'll make your and their lives easier if you have access to their account.
>install XYZ for them because they can't figure out you have to EXECUTE a downloaded installer
>sends account activation email
>need email account access
We've already established normies can't into and don't care about privacy or security, so there should be no issue with you having access to that stuff. In fact, they might not even think twice about you being able to read their email while setting up some account for them even though they didn't explicitly give you their password, because they themselves tend to forget they even HAVE passwords, as evidenced by your story.

Plus there's the chance for mischief (lighthearted, well-meaning fun mischief, if you don't fancy malicious stuff), and you can see it as insurance.
Say you get a normie gf, and you love her oh so much. Will you need her email password to spy on her while you're together? Nope, because you'd be better off breaking up if there ever were a reason to check her email account on suspicions of cheating etc. Should you find out her password when you get the chance anyway? Absolutely. Normies tend not to change their passwords (as established), so if you know her password now, chances are you'll know her password when you're not together anymore, or can crack her new password based on your knowledge of the old one.
Now imagine she gets dicked by Chad and tries to extort money from you. You now have access to all her accounts (whoops I forgot my facebook password, pls send new one to email account), can gather evidence and/or secure it in case she tries to get rid of it.

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>>58696406
This is actually a much better idea that it appeared.

>>58696409
>whoops I forgot my facebook password, pls send new one to email account
That's not really how facebook does password resets, is it? Please tell me it isn't.

>>58690722
lol

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>get mom a cheap prebuilt after she bricks yet another computer
>try to help her set it up
>she can't remember her password to set up her stupid MS account for Windows 8, and only know how to check her email through Windows' built-in email clients
>spend half an hour trying to find out who her email provider is and the only answer I can get is "No, I use the button"
>go over another time because she can't figure out why she has no space
>her music folder is almost 200GB
>look in it
>contains a copy of itself
>the copy contains a copy
>the copy in the copy contains a copy
>etc
>she has no idea how this happened

>"I just don't know how I keep getting all these viruses!"
>boot up her PC
>limewire starts up
>"totally legitimate song that you want.mp3.exe"
Gee, I wonder. She's actually started buying music because she couldn't follow my simple instructions on how to get a song for free without getting a virus.
>Go to youtube
>find the song you want
>put the link in at this other site
>click the button
>it will turn it from a video into a song and download it for you
>"But that's too hard and when I steal music I get viruses"

>read all the grandpa stories ITT
>expect the arch linux one
>never get it

dissapointed to be quite honest kin

>>58696817
No they don't have your password, they ask you to input a new one through a link sent to the account's e mail address

>Hey bruh, could you take a look at my computer? it seems to be rather slow...
>Alright...
>friend leaves
>open it up
>keyboard is crusty in dorito dust and cum
>begin working
>wallpaper is Tomoko (from Watamote)
>desktop Icons...
>registry Fixer Pro, fake AVs, download.com shit and other garbage
>remove them
>notice two interesting folders on the desktop
>Hentai, incest, and tor browser bundle
>whydidntthisguythinkiwouldntnoticethese.xcf
>out of respect for his privacy I leave the folders untouched
>Install Malwarebytes, other removal tools.
>Install uBlock Origin and HTTPS-Everywhere in Firefox. (Which I told them to use), remove bad extensions, add malware filterlists, then remove malwarebytes (no use, he always buys his gaymes from Steam)
>DUDE WHY DID YOU REMOVE MY REGISTRY FIXER I PAID SO MUCH MONEY FOR THAT SHIT
>>It's shovelware.
>NO ITS NOT
>>Fix your problems yourself from now on.
>later on, he calls me and asks me if I looked at his folders
>I tell him no
>But he thinks that I did
>thanks me for "fixing" the computer
>refuses to speak to me after that, and acts very skittish

I think he liked loli.

>>58697086
I'm guessing full-on CP, between cutting you out and the tor browser stuff. At that level of computer illiteracy, you only have tor if you're doing something illegal.

These days I just copy the files/passwords from the browser and just refresh/reinstall windows, restore everything and that's it, seems to solve every computer problem my retarded extended family has. Bitch all you want about Windows 10 but it made fixing shitty laptops so much easier. Oh, and I always have to uninstall whatever shitty 3rd party anti-virus they installed. Honestly, MS just needs to nuke the entire AV industry, it's such a garbage pit.

>No, don't fucking install any AV, windows already has an AV that's all you need
>couple months later
>hey, can you look at my laptop
>new piece of shit useless anti virus software installed

When will they learn? Stop using 3rd party AVs ffs!

>>58696935
>with an SMS confirmation

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>>58697202
Unfortunately not everyone has Common Sense 2017 installed.
>"It's asking me if I want to install that song I was looking for? Sounds legit!"
Like how do you not stop and ask yourself if this isn't the least bit suspicious? These are the kind of people who honestly believe that person they're talking to is a horny 12-year old girl and not a cop.

>>58697386
>Installing a song
I laughed.

>>58697443
It's hilarious until your mother-in-law actually installs what she thinks is Meat Loaf's Bat Out of Hell album.

>>58690668
>>58695925
you people are fucking disgusting

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>>58697694
thank you

>>58697235
Do people actually give their phone numbers out to facebook?
Oh wait, Whatsapp. That shitty cancer that even supposedly tech-savvy acquaintances try to shill to me.
REEE

>>58697694
what are you a gay?

>work in repair shop
>old guy comes in and asks us to transfer his email system from POP to IMAP
>he has literally thousands of contacts
>turns out he works in some fashion industry and literally every time he gets an email he saves the sender
>my boss goes through the wizard
>forgets to check 'keep all contacts' box
>can't go back
>'uh, anon. i've got a job for you'
>spend the next day copy and pasting their entire address book into the new system
didn't even get paid for any of the stuff i did. got loads of stories/experience from it so can't complain too much i guess

>>58697086
I doubt he had any CP or anything...

But I do think he probably was into some of the more 'odd' hentai; thus his shutting you out.

>>58697848
I know I'd shut people out if I thought they knew about my NTR fetish.

>>58697796
Fuck... you get shafted and work on commission or some shit like that?

Also, let me guess, your boss thinks you're 'an independent contractor' but not allowed to compete with his company, etc.?

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>>58697386
>These are the kind of people who honestly believe that person they're talking to is a horny 12-year old girl and not a cop.

>Anon, how can you not have a gf, look at all these dating websites, only thing you need is a credit card you cheap fuck
>dad, are you fucking serious?

>>58697202
>family member asks why they're computer is slow
>Computer doesn't seem too bad. Some regular problems, but nothing horrible
>all of a sudden computer slows to a fucking crawl
>pop up in the corner: AVG scan has begun!
>"you scanned in the wrong neighbourhood."
>Purge AVG, install adblock on browser to be safe
>"Gee anon, it's like new!"

Why is this shit allowed to exist? It's fucking malware at this point. Back when I was computer illiterate it never actually stopped any viruses. I got a trojan claiming to be an anti virus that locked down my entire computer when I had AVG installed. AVG's "scan" couldn't find shit, I had to use malware bytes.

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>think I'm computer illiterate because I browse /g/ a lot and don't understand programming lingo and shit
>realize I'm above average because I know how to install things, google the error message, and mod my browser

i understand computer lingo
test me

>>58698061
There's different aspects to computers. It's not because you know how to program that you necessarily know how to install and maintain windows or any other OS. Look at Richard Stallman for example.

But you are competent enough to realize you're not competent which is good, reverse Dunning–Kruger effect.

>>58698103
quick whats an array-array
no google or fail

I've done a lot of work with this guy... we'll call him 'Bob'. Bob has a local computer service company. He's not necessarily very good with computers beyond what most people on /g/ would be, however he's an older guy and has done a lot of actual electronics repair. So I'm not arguing, if you can convince him to fix your random antique stereo, yeah, it'll get fixed.
Computer stuff though... eh... he's nothing special imho.

Fortunately for him, he knows people and can get jobs. Also has a very good name for marketing purposes. <town name> Computer Repair.
So, he contracts out a lot of his work. He doesn't have a real company (LLC or whatever) because lazy / cheap / ignorant? I dunno. So all his 'employees' are 'independent contractors'.
Well that's fine. I been doing this a while. If he wants a 'finder's fee' for jobs (a generous 40% plus a markup on anything we sell them); fine. Making money off any given job in time I wasn't using for other things is better than not making that money.

(Cont...)

>>58690722
My mom did the same fucking thing to me. Took more than a week of my time to sort her shit out.

>>58698139

So here begins my story:

>Get call from long time client that he's opening a new location and wants me to do all his data wiring and network setup.
>Figured I'd do Bob a solid and write up the quote through his company so he can get his 'finder's fee' on the job, and that way maybe I can get some of my other 'co-workers' in on it and make them some money.
>Shit this is cash, gonna make like $2.5k on this job in 2 weeks, and have to spend none of my normal work hours on it cause it's gonna be in the evenings.
>Client wants to make sure everything is done by the book, no funny stuff.
>"No problem, gottcha. I'll call the city myself and make sure we've got any required licensing and permits up to date."
>Call city.
>City has started enforcing that each 'independent contractor' be insured for low voltage wiring jobs.
>No problem, already had insurance lined up in case I needed it. Call bro's at insurance agency and pay them for insurance stuff.
>Talk to Bob about it, explain to him what he needs to get and make sure everyone has before we start.
>Bob flips shit when he sees that there are actual laws about running a business, and overhead costs. In the end, I come to find out he knew about this, but just decided he would ignore it.
>Bob wants to raise the cost of the whole job to client by thousands of dollars.
>Re-submits estimate and has tried to (badly) hide the insurance costs for the entire year in there.
>Client politely declines to have us do the work.

>Still hearing about how "I" lost him that money.

>>58698129
I know enough for everyday use, but I don't think I know enough to actually make a career out of it or anything. Don't even use an AV anymore. Thing never does me any good anyway. I would run it once or twice a year and come back clean every time anyway. The big thing is I know what I do and do not want with my installation when I download something. My brother used to call me up and have me walk him through his installation.
>he's installing new drivers
>"Uh, do I want this toolbar?"
>"Do I want this free trial for an MMO?"
>"Do I want this completely unrelated program?"
I DON'T KNOW NIGGER, DO YOU? IT'S YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER, YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ON IT

>>58695554
but his brother has a webcam

>>58697898
I want to ask
but I also don't

>>58698220
It's the emotional equivalent of cutting yourself. I use it when I want to get off but I want to cry after to let out some stress.

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>>58697694
These people don't have sisters. When you actually have a sister, she is less fuckable than Adelia rose.

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>>58698241
>google definition

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>Contracted to take care of family business' PCs because I'm "the computer guy" of the senpai
>Everything going smoothly, replace ancient W2k3 SB box & domain, upgrade all the PCs to keep them going a few more years, upgrade to Win7
>After replacing the router, setting up DPI, and introducing a caching proxy, notice heavy amount of pornographic traffic at the end of the day
>It's my Grandpa
>Yahoo searches for "13 year old fucked" at the end of every god damn day
>mfw

>>58698289
You should have specified you wanted the definition, not to know why I like it. It's worth pointing out that it's almost always from the guy getting cucked's point of view and has a focus on the emotional damage being caused. It's porn for people who hate themselves and want to die.

>>58698312
This post... so much win.

Man... just... gross... but... wow.

Block that real quick before you all get V& though, seriously. XD

>>58690554
what a faggot
Is she hot?

>>58698325
That feeling is caused by watching porn.

>>58698390
I barely even watch porn. My libido's been pretty much dead for years because of the depression. I jerk off to netorare maybe twice a month, and that's my porn.

>>58697796
post more

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>>58698347
this is really good bait anon-kun

>>58690365
>Be 18
>First job
>Tech support for Vodafone isp
>3 months in
>Fucking hate it
>Get a call from a guy driving, has me on speaker
>Says he has powered on his router via the cigarette lighter in the car
>Says he cant get online
>speechless.jpg
>Hang up on him, get up and leave the building
>Never to return

He was one of many tech spastics I had to deal with.

>client complains about PC. it has XP in it.
>I discover gay porn on it.
>When I ask who watches porn, client blames son who visits when he needs to satisfy his Internet fetish
>I get rid of porn and clean out malware
>Advise client not to let son use computer unless she is with him
>I get nice supper
>Client goes OT and endorses the United Church even though newleft fags have turned it antisemitic by aligning with Hamas
>I never went back to client.

>>58690722
I am furious

>>58698633
you sure it wasn't a a 3G/WiFi router?

>>58698765
this, you fucking retard

>tim (distant relative) asks me to come look at his computer by asking his daughter to tell my mother over the phone that his computer isn't working
>go over late at night, tim is around age 60-something
>usually just pulls up facebook and local news sites
>shows me that some sites work and some sites don't
>i sit there for three hours and realize that it is HTTPS sites that work while HTTP sites do not ("refused to connect" error)
>do all of the troubleshoot cheatcodes, including resetting winsock and all of the bullshit therein
>leave that night because it's getting late
>he dies a couple nights later

>still haven't figured out what could have been the problem

>go to client who says Internet is broken
>open up IE and pop up galore
>win98 is so slow i know a trojan has turned it into a bot.
>notice the PC is directly connected to the cable modem.
>explain to client he needs a router
>this takes an hour because he is a SSI case
>find porn while using Windows Explorer
>client gets defensive about his porn addiction, as all addicts do when you find out about their massive porn stash
>client goes ballistic when i suggest deleting his porn video collection which leaves only 1 GB free of HDD space.
>he has no $$$ to get a $50 router but enough to buy enough cigarettes to last him unless his next check.
>goes ballistic against when I suggest he cut back on $50 of cigarettes (5 packs to last maybe 2 days).
>client then goes paranoid and blames me for his slow computer instead of accepting the fact that his porn collection is the main reason it is slow.
>client says YOU RUINED MY DAY!
>I beat it fast out of there before he assaults me
>later, i ignore all his calls, with vm messages threatening to kill me if he sees me again
>at the SSI line up, he's forgotten about it. I bum a smoke off him.
>I tell him to go to a computer store to get it fixed when he asks me to fix his PC.
>computer store installs a trojan and same shit, different story happens.

I am really glad this morom moved away, and that I changed my phone number.

>>58698765
I think the PSU is connected to mains and isn't 12 VDC and isn't powered via USB.

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>>58698830
even most home routers are 12vdc or so, mobile ones are typically 5v

if you're not sure what these are, they're a router with 3G on the WAN side, and WiFi and/or Ethernet on the LAN side
they are portable, sometimes even battery powered, and will work in a car

even if the guy in the car wasn't using one of these, anon should have explained that this is the kind of router you'd need for use in a car
anon just reinforced the fact that level 1 isp "technicians" don't know shit

After reading this thread I begin understanding why most people don't use linux. It's strange that they can't admit their stupidity and try to prove everyone that linux is shit

>>58695554
anon you absolute fucking bellend
his brother has a webcam

>>58698312
Lost very hard.

>>58690554
Your brother sounds like an alpha.

On the other hand, you're a faggot

>install gentoo on mom's computer
>use it as wifi-router (started without X) while I lived with her
>calls me and yells that it's not working
>tell her to login and type startx and add xdm to default runlevel
>understand that she can't, come and fix it myself

>if something is not working tell her on phone the comands to type in terminal and read the output
>every her answer ends with "bracket, username, @, hostname, bracket, dollar sign"
>too retarded to understand that this shit prefixes every line

>>58690760
>demon girl on newgrounds
oh man i remember that

>>58690365
That PC looks exactly like a production critical PC I had to get up and running in a weld shop in like 2007. Is that pic from welding dust?

>>58697235
I've taken advantage of this, once I got into this annoying ass guys fb by asking if I could borrow his phone to make a call, while I was making the call a friend of mine had the confirmation SMS sent to the guys phone, all I had to do was rememebr the 5 digit number and delete the message, that was it.

>>58696110
re: mothers and technology in general, I can very much relate

The red mist descends so rapidly that I too now have a headache

>>58698008
I've had to fix multiple computers that got fucked up purely on account of avg and its stupid google-esque search thing it sets your browser homepage to (which then feeds you bullshit malware-ridden results). AVG is garbage and I definitely would not encourage placing any trust in it.

>>58690631
If California gets its independance then we can assume that "escape from LA" isn't so far away.

Calling it now, Snake Plissken vs Trump

>>58693395
That's just plain dastardly.
I'm so gonna try this.

>>58698813
You're there for tech support, not advice on how he should spend his money (other than suggesting buying a router and maybe an external HDD for the porn). Don't ever suggest they delete XYZ and don't ever suggest they are addicted to anything and should cut back on their addiction.

>>58698261
nah, I can admit my sister is pretty hot. the reason I wouldn't fuck her is that she has disgusting habits

>>58699116
still fucking good stuff

>>58698807
Meme withdrawal is a terrible thing.

>>58698008
>>58701912
The current mainstream software business model is

1. Make a free and/or good product
3. Gain user/market share
4. Attempt hook current users for more (or any) money. If this fails, aggressively steer users towards premium services and collect data for sale to third parties.

In the world of free AV, you either die a hero, or live long enough to become McAfee.

>>58702877
Out of all the reasons to decide you wouldn't fuck your sister, that's...well, I guess the important part is you told yourself "no."

>be 17, living at home because I'm 17 what do you think I am
>set up linux box for various things, including FTP for whenever I'm out of the house but need specific files
>ask stepdad to open these very specific ports
>he tells me no because it's a vulnerability to open ports
>argues why it isn't, because it isn't if you just set it up correctly
>he claims to have hacked Microsoft back in the day, he totally knows what he's talking about
>K.aspx
>give up because at this point he's not gonna budge

months later;
>poke him again
>arguing ensues
>conclude that he's just a lazy twat and doesn't actually know how to do it
>this conclusion is consistent with his personality in general, refusing to ever admit he might be wrong
>take tech illiterate mum and explain to her the entire situation down to the very details on how networking works
>she tells stepdad to just do the thing
>he's afraid of her so he does it after quietly protesting to himself
>doesn't know router password
>suggest trying the defaults
>but no, he did infact change it to something obscure when it was installed
>never saved it
>finds it by guessing for 20 minutes
>tell him the exact specific ports to open
>he DMZ's it instead, leaving every port open to intrusion
>call it a victory for now and go back to shitposting on /g/

few weeks later;
>my SSH is getting pinged quite often even on non-default ports
>be afraid because aint no russians getting into my compootrs
>i dont use SSH outside of the local network anyway
>tell stepdad to unDMZ it and just open these specific ports
>he forgot the password
>fails to ever find it
>give up, shut the whole thing down and just accept that I'm not gonna have a server standing around here

2 years later, after having moved to and back from college;
>move into own apartment
>set up internet
>thank god im not in america, 80/40 connection for 25 bucks a month
>order public and static IP ontop of the existing deal
>another 3 bucks a month
>set it all up
>it just works

>>58698135
Dictionary? Singleton?

>>58704965
>No! We cant open a port for FTP, That's a security risk!
>later
>eeh fuck it just open all of them who gives a shit

Are you sure you didn't miss a part of this story, like maybe he was shitfaced off his rocker when this happened?

>>58690365
Your own fault.

>>58704992
It's because he has no idea what he's doing. I told him to open specific ports, he just DMZ'd it because it more or less opens all ports and he figured that'd be fine. Arguing with him would just result in nothing getting done, hence why I waited a few weeks

He just plain don't know shit

>>58698135
multidimensional array?

>>58698135
an array of arrays?

>>58699013

>inflicting Gentoo on your own mother

Have you no shame?

>>58698061
>>58698129
>>58698187
Honestly, I have been through enough hardware problems, software problems, hardware failures, and spent probably weeks of my life troubleshooting shit that yes, I could confidently work in repair.

I would honestly like to, but starting a business managing money and expense, that's just not something i'm able to do.

plus the massive risks and no one would give me a loan.

>>58690365
>Great aunt asks me to look at her computer
>2006 Acer desktop
>"It wont boot"
>Tell her I'll replace it with something better
>Give her a thinkpad T410 with winXP x64 on it
>"Thanks anon"
Someone appreciates Thinkpads and Windows XP

>>58695554
>>58695554
>"I don't like it"
lost

>>58698813
If he only has one computer he doesn't need a router

>>58695554
Tell him can talk to his brother using a posix compliant and secure connection via SSH on a FreeBSD system The Simple Way™

>>58706984
>SSH communication
How? The exchange of text files over scp?

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>grandma having trouble viewing her emails on phone
>says it has the right address details on there but nothing will appear
>check it
>she made a typo and thought it didn't matter
>wonders why she cant see her emails

God people are such fucking illiterate ungrateful pieces of shit. Post more stories I need the rage.

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>help set up anything with a simple-to-remember password that I tell them to make up

>it never gets remembered
>it never gets remembered
>it NEVER gets remembered

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>"Anon I need help"
>Do you know what your password is
>"No"
>Then no

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>>58690682

>>58690554
This is why a 10 year old should not have his own computer. I doubt whether there is any young boy on this planet who will not eventually type "big boobs naked" into Google Image Search if left alone with a computer.

I remember I whined and pleaded my way into getting my own computer when I was 12. Thirteen years later it has taken me a great deal of effort to give up porn—at one point it was so bad that I was masturbating to sketchy fetish stuff twice a day on average—and my teenage years were mostly ruined by my excessive use of video games. I don't know what my life would be like if I hadn't had a computer but it cannot conceivably have been worse.

I'll admit it was better than having just a television and a gaming console, equally nasty devices. At least you can learn a little bit on a computer. But all of these devices are so undeniably horrible, we really ought to stop letting children have them before they are old enough to practice self-restraint.

>>58695718
yea they do, you just have to make it a challenge to them, every time my grandparents tell me that they can't figure something out I ask them "how old are you? how many things do you use now that you thought you'd never figure out?"

I also taught them that 99% of the time googling a problem will be faster than asking me to fix it. I check on them probably once to twice a week and help them with anything they can't figure out/have a free meal.

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>Wife tells me her dad wants to add some programs to the Start menu
>Okay, I start to explain how to add programs to the Start menu
>She gets mad
>"Stop treating me like an idiot!"
>mfw
>Turns out they wanted to put some short cuts onto the desktop, but they thought the desktop is called the Start menu
>I explain that the Start menu is something different than the desktop
>She calls me a nerd

>>58709154
no friends, boring town, actively get the shit kicked out of me if I leave the subdivision, All I have going for me is video games, all of which I have played into the dirt

in comes computer, I want to say it was likely the 7th grade before I even looked at porn and it wasn't an accident, never really made the connection with jerking off and nude humans till then.

had literally every snes game ever made on the computer, and everquest.

fuck I miss those days.
wasted a literal year of my life playing everquest with one of the few friends I had, but I honestly couldn't ask for better.

>>58709279
Does your wife usually treat you like that? That's kind of shitty.

>>58695554
he already has a camera you fuck

>>58709791
Marriages means women can stop giving a shit about anything

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>father buys new PC
>He's tech illiterate
>Had it for about 1 month
>Calls me telling me that his is broken
>Go and check his PC
>Everything seems thing, just annoying pop ups on IE
>Must be usual malware from porn sites
>Download Malwarebytes and chrome
>Run scan
>install AdBlock
>Go to YouTube to see if AdBlock works
>Click on some gaming related video on trending section
>"Anon, don't play games on my PC, you're gonna give it viruses"
>Say "Since you know so much about PCs, I'll let you fix this yourself"
>He panics and tells me to say
>He remains quits for the rest of the time I'm fixing his pc

I'm usually not a dick, but this has been going on for about 10 years now.

>>58710027

>Say "Since you know so much about PCs, I'll let you fix this yourself"

I love using this line as it makes people shut the fuck up quickly.

>>58698765
This.
Holy shit.

They hire anyone now days for tech support don't they... :/

>>58710046
It's a good line if you've got a customer that won't cooperate and let you get the work done.
It'll either get you kicked out / hung up on; or they'll shut the fuck up and let you finish.

>>58702877

What kind of habits?

>gramps buys a crappy laptop from walmart
>adware and garbage out the ass installed
>asks me to upgrade it to windows 10 thinking it will get rid of that shit
>I upgrade it
>the welcome settings put me off
>all I did was install a botnet
>none of the adware was removed
>offer to clean install linux mint for him
>he trusts my judgement
>install mint with chromium and pepperflash, ublock and https everywhere included
>almost never has a problem
feels good man

>>58711118
Talks too fucking loud, shitty personality in general, and when doing laundry I found 60% of her panties had shit caked on them. Nearly puked

>>58697086
>>58698312
How do these people not get in jail?

>>58704774
Where does Avira stands in all of this? One of my teachers recommended it a lot.

>>58704774
>mfw malwarebytes is doing this exact shit

>>58697086
>DUDE WHY DID YOU REMOVE MY REGISTRY FIXER I PAID SO MUCH MONEY FOR THAT SHIT
oh god my side

>>58697694
you shouldn't be surprised that there are a few disgusting creeps on /g/

>>58712527
>a few
try again buddy

>>58711270
>panties had shit caked on them

my boner's a goner

>parents neighbours have their laptop upgraded to win10, registry issues ensue
>decide im'a just give them ubuntu mate
>everything works fine, even the printer gives test page and everything
>they happy for a few months, nothing except a call on how to add items to the taskbar
>suddenly they have a problem with flash
>out of town/too lazy at that moment to respond immediately
>ask them about it later
>"it's alright anon, we already bought another computer"

It's not terrible, but just makes me furious thinking about them buying a new computer simply because YLE Areena can't get their shit together and cobble up a HTML5 player.

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>work mom and pop pc repair shop in a rich ass shit white suburb
>respectable looking black dude comes in with his desktop for repair
>XP days, registry virus shit, needs a clean install
>tell him this, he says he has very important pictures to back up
>explains to me that he shoots porn, and that its porn. asks me to back it up, and that I can look, but not be nosy
>say I respect his wishes, and will simply copy the folders without going in them
>look anyway
>all pics and video are POV of him fucking redheads, blonds, and other skinny small titied white girls with his HUGE BBC.


>Earlier I was helping out some mom fix her daughters laptop
>found a ton of selfie pics, full nudity, asshole spread, the works
>find out she is 16
>I keep this on an encrypted thumb drive
>too afraid to post them even those this was 10 years ago

Years ago I found legit OC child porn. boss saw it, called the cops. never saw the guy who brought that PC in though. Never found out what ended up happening.

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>>58713690
>my boner's a goner

>>58690406
fpbp

If you EVER help someone with their computer, it doesn't matter how fucking long it takes for something to break, they'll blame you for that shit.

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>>58713830
>I am currently in possession of child porn

good job m80

>>58713537
a few hundred

>>58714327
Yep... that Anon's retarded.

>>58696841
>She's actually started buying music because she couldn't follow my simple instructions on how to get a song for free without getting a virus.
This is a good thing.

>>58697202
>When will they learn? Stop using 3rd party AVs ffs!
A lot of the time when you're installing 3rd party programs they bundle anti-virus programs with it, like the Yahoo toolbar or ask.com. If you aren't paying attention you end up installing stuff accidentally.

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>>58714254
this goes for anything really, i've worked on cars that later shit themselves and i've copped the blame for it
>mum buys car with rattly exhaust in 2011
>in 2015 i change the oil to do her a favor
>exhaust rusts off a week later
>its my fault

>>58711074
TFW used that line on a cx and they shut up to let me fix it but i cant fix it and refer them to another 3rd party

should i end myself for this shame

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>>58714565
>buy new PC
>wife ask me to give the old one to her dad
>sure.jpg
>her dad every now and then: "YOUR computer doesnt work"

>one day wife and her brother decide to buy new PC for their dad
>Me: "Nice and I'm not ever going to touch it, so you cant blame me anymore!"
>Them all (including their dad): "But why???"