Pretentious software developer (a.k.a code artisan) starter pack:

>>58635093
yeah the whining autist, you

>has girlfriend
>500+ Facebook friends
>goes to gym regularly

>>58635309
>Facebook
>friends
i don't even imagine what kind of concoction are you referring by "girlfriend"

>>58635309

>muh protein shakes

>>58635093
Where did he touch you?

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>>58635093
>uses reddit and discord instead of IRC and Mumble

>>58636225

>not using Grindr

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>>58635093
>Anything else I'm missing?

>>58635093
Missed one.
>actually likely to get the job

This one makes me angry.

>>58635093

>Works for a startup

At least they're employed unlike OP

>>58636376

Gay is not synonymous with bad.

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>>58637050
>Gay is not synonymous with bad.

>t. macfaggot

>>58637074

Enjoy getting arrested for saying something bad about god emperor Trump from Windows.

Me:

>Macbook Pro
>Programs in Cafe with CIEMs
>No glasses
>Im a registered member of center-right party
>Uses Ruby for prototyping/web (its mature now) but does his best to become good at C
>Uses TextMate
>Works for Fortune 500

Not all apple users are idiots or cucks.

>>58635093
I have a macbook with Manjaro Linux,
super glued glasses because am now a poor fag.
fuck feminism
fuck JS
Nano + GCC

>>58639708

>fuck feminism

SHUT UP YOURE A FUCKING WHITE MALE

>>58639665
How's your boyfriend doing you fucking faggot?

>>58635093
Seems more like a strawman.

>>58637099
>Allowing libcucks to disrespect our president
Good, they can rot in prison, they're an insult to freedom.

>>58639805

>I love freedom!
>people who critisize the president should be thrown in jail

anon are you lying to me when you say you like freedom

>>58635093
Me:
> Has thinkpad x220 for traveling and outdoor usage as well as home PC for general work.
> Never program in public, too autistic and anxious about people who know more than me to make fun of the things I do, even tho I have 2 BA (Physics and CS) and a PhD in AI while working on CV stuff.
> Never program in public as well as it is not productive, I need my cluster at all times for testing.
> I do wear hipster glasses.
> Using C/C++ as well as Python in everyday life
> I have a wife and I hate feminists
> I use VIM as well as EMACS they are all good, lately I prefer EMACS with evil mode
> Doing research as well as freelance stuff to pay my bills.

So yeah, typical /sci/ + /g/

>>58639823
Trump wants to jail those who burn the flag, it's almost an act of treason you degenerate anti american cuck.

>>58635093
Did you go outside today anon?

>>58636376
There's a board called "Politically Incorrect" that was made to contain, ahem, entertain you!

Enjoy!

>Atom doesn't look hideous
>Better insult it asap

/g/ . txt

>>58639942
This country needs more treason.

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>>58639665

How much steamy man anus do you pump, on average per week?

>>58639974
>you can't show dissent here!!!!

>>58636376
>>58639974
The most hilarious thing about fags is that they're literally butthurt

I'm gay and lurk /tpg/. What the fuck does being gay have to do with computer choice?

>>58639942

>criticizing the president is the same as burning the flag

no

>>58635093
Yes. JS can actually land you a job (not a good one, given, but still a job). Real hipsters use Ruby.

>>58636225
THIS


also wtf is Mumble

>>58635093

I am planning on buying a macbook, but none of the other criteria apply to me.

How fucked am I?

Also >Mumble

I installed that shit once and it uninstalled all of my audio drivers immediately. I was mad as fuck. Fuck that shit.

>>58635093
>Works
ha

>Me
>Doesn't own a laptop (company did give me an old Dell though)
>Programs in office with coffee machine within reach
>Can't see shit without glasses
>Equality is good
>Likes learning new languages, though doesn't know js
>Edits text w/Geany
>Company was founded in the early 00s

H... how did I do, /g/?

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>>58635093
>Uses hip JS library

>>58636152
top kek
you are my man for this day

>>58635093
Makes six figures.

>>58635093
ruby on rails

>>58639665
suck nazi cock

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>>58635093
the boots

>>58639708
Nano...die dude

>>58640093
exactly

>>58640440
I fucking hate these shoes.

>>58640440
>>58640651
>HP probook
>sysadmin working at office
>no glasses
>libtards can go fuck themselves
>not touching JS with a 10 feet pole
>use notepad++ to edit text
These are literally my shoes though.

>>58635093
Vegan stickers on it and the Starbucks drink and stickers

>>58640899
Is sysadmin a lazy job ?

>>58640921
99% of the time you spend at your desk politely shitposting or working on documentation.
But 1% of the time you're running around with your hair on fire trying to defuse bombs.

>>58640921
It really depends where you are employed.
Some firms just need people available 24/7 just in case something crashes and burn terribly. On these jobs it's idle most of the time as >>58641060 says.

>>58639992
t. Jew

>>58641167
t. A cuck

>>58639992
>>58641866
Treason hurts america, we need more whistleblowers to report corruption and illegal government spying. You don't save something by burning it to ashes.

>>58640276
If you have to ask, you're a numale libcuck SJW collaborator (((((((terrorist))))))) degenerate atheist subhuman degenerate feminist traitor.

>>58640093
>not a good one, given, but still a job
>literally every large-scale technology company uses javascript
are you retarded

>>58639708
>macbook
>Manjaro Linux,
>fuck JS
>Nano

This is even worst.

>>58642123
You defined flag burning as treason, which makes the definition of treason much broader than "hurting america".

>>58639665
>its mature now

Rails is still absolute garbage with monkey patching everywhere.

me starter pack
>thinkpad t430
>programs in a crowded room filled with indians and autists in the basement of a building on campus
>wears large glasses because of poor vision
>believes in gommunism, technocracy
>copypastes from sklearn documentation to churn out papers
>uses vim to edit text
>works for a professor

>>58640093
Even hipsters are realizing Ruby is dead.

>>58640440
None of the other shit applies to me but I have a darker version of these shoes. I like them. They're comfortable and simple enough that they can be worn on most occasions.

>>58640440
Theres nothing wrong with desert boots. Get some taste. Also theyre comfy

>Macbook Pro
√
>Programs in a Cafe with headphones
X
We mostly wear headphones, though.
>Wears "geeky" glasses even if it just plain glass
X
>Believes in equality, feminism
√
>Uses hip JS library that just came out two weeks ago in production
X
Although, we do have React and Vue applications in production.
>Uses Atom to edit text
X
We mostly use PHPStorm. I strictly use Sublime, though.
>Works for a startup
X
We definitely have moved out of our startup phase.

>>58644186
>programs in a crowded room filled with indians and autists in the basement of a building on campus

UCSD?

>>58639708
>macbook with manjaro linux
Are you seriously this retarded?

>>58639759
i'm fine!

>>58635093
I have lots of them around here. What do?

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>tfw hacking reality

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>>58639823
>>58639992
>>58640075

>>58635093
Uses zshell, because the BASH version that ships with OSX is outdated and he's too retarded to update it.

Doesn't know about manpages. Will react with either astonishment ("That's genius! I can look up anything on my system with this? Thank you apple!") or dismissal.

>>58635093
>>Macbook Pro
Yes.
>>Programs in a Cafe with headphones
No. Why would I need headphones?
>>Wears "geeky" glasses even if it just plain glass
No.
>>Believes in equality, feminism
I'm a white supremacist.
>>Uses hip JS library that just came out two weeks ago in production
No.
>>Uses Atom to edit text
I use emacs.
>>Works for a startup
Also no.

>>58646055
>t. mactoddler

>me
>Dell 15", ripped two good backpacks with its edges
>I don't need glasses so I don't wear them
>I like equality
>Python and C/C++
>Sublime Text
>Work for a 11-year old company that has nothing to do with programming, but I write some tools and make money equivalent to a freelance job when I do it

Rate me, /g/

>>58646058
>t. autist

>>58646068
You sound like a non-faggy person. gj

>>58635093
at least they are self sufficient adult not living with their parents, unlike you, an unemployed autist

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Pretentious asshole know it all starter pack
>autismpad
>is not a normal human being who needs to leave their home (or room even) to do work
>is so egotistical they think they deserve adoration while putting in zero effort on their appearance
>believes he would have a gf if X was different
>wastes his own time and everyone elses coding everything from scratch instead of using resources people provide, for free
>uses Latex, a total pointless waste of effort program to edit text
>doesn't work, just shitposts from his bed and sometimes his desk chair every single day

>Anything else I'm missing?
>is gay
>is atheist

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>>58646175
>>58646223
>>58646224
>t. mactoddler

is it possible to create a local html link to parent folder?

>>58646249
>t. autist

>>58646249
I work at one of the biggest design agencies in London. We work extremely fast, to tight schedules. There is no room in actual business for a clogged Windows desktop which will crash for no reason, and Linux is only useful for some niche tasks relating to IoT

Mac is what the professionals use. You are the toddler

>>58646280
>t. mactoddler

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>>58646280
>Linux is only useful for some niche tasks relating to IoT
Linux is computer, not backdoor shit like your expensive design drawing tool

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>>58646280
>I work at one of the biggest design agencies in London.

LMAO
M
A
O

>>58640122

It's not teamspeak.

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But seriously why is Atom so shit and slow?

>>58646318
>pay software developers to make OS which never crashes, is fast and runs on Linux making it perfect for all business purposes
That's why its expensive. It isn't designed for some neckbeard in his mom's basement, who would rather waste his life customising and tweaking his install of Gentoo

>>58646319
t. 13 year old

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>>58646348
OS never crashing needs only time developping and organized teams and projetcs, money doesnt program.
Also /gov/ pays developers to open backdoors at will. CPU and privacy hungry diseases.

Run on Linux if you want i don't care your personal data whatever you do.

Alppe is design to make you think then feel
better than chinkbear nerdglasses not in their ads,
pls know you're same

>>58646342

VS Code is a little better.

Heh. Here's me:

>macbook pro
>programs in my modern industrial startup office
>wear contacts most days but I have literal hipster glasses
>believe in equality but not modern day ""feminism""
>uses mature Java libraries and 1 to 2 year old js frameworks
>uses sublime text
>ofc work for startup

>Uses hip JS library that just came out two weeks ago in production

This triggers me hardest. I hate that the industry is increasingly selecting for losers whose sole interests outside of work are drinking shitty booze and frantically keeping up with the newest version of Buttplug.js

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>>58637074
it's 2017 retard, it's literally nothing wrong with this

>>58648596
>3D
You're right, how disgusting.

>>58639942
I agree. I only burn Confederate flags because they are traitors and losers.

>>58635093
what does a jobless friendless hopeless nazi dweeb like you use to shitpost?

>>58639942
>protesting bad
>piss parties good
>being blackmailed by putin is also good

>>58640440
They're nice shoes desu

To apple fans you need to say
" Nice plug buddy " hahaha