Startup culture hate thread. Share your horror stories. >Holiday

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>>58132872
I never worked in a startup, but my company (Fortune 500) slowly tried to turn the entire company into a startup-like feel, department by department

Real reason was cubicles took up too much space, so my company wanted to consolidate and save money on opex and adopted the "startup" excuse to cram more people into shared workspace

Slowly, all the (real) engineers started to leave for other companies

People taking buses instead of Caltrain.

>>58134092
hipsters trying to be different?

>>58132915
>I like cubicles

Are you a robot?

>>58132872
>yoga sessions
>kambucha in iced tea coolers in the kitchen
>beanbag chairs with apple chargers suck to the wall behind them
>orange/pastel green wall
>office is mostly stainless steel, concrete, and glass
>whiteboards/smartboards everywhere
>coffee shop *in* the office
>mural by local "urban" artist
>constantly being pitched on other startups by every consultant/coder you contract

>>58134167
fuck you open spaces are a crime

>>58132915
Haha, that HAS to be Hewlett & Packard!

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>>58132872
>ninjas
>rockstars
>artisans
>handcrafted code
>mfw

>>58134184
Kek, I work in one and literally all those apply too

Fuck startups, I just want to put on a fucking suit and go make some real money

>>58134184
>>mural by local "urban" artist
ugh, that's the worst

>>58134167
cubicles rule though

>we have an idea!
>give us money so we can make the idea real!
>we will spend all that money on apple products and high rise office space to make our company look as new and fresh as possible!
>oops we have no money and we havent managed a product yet
>but our idea is awesome! give us more money!
>lets hire some more people!
>we need more media presence!
And on and on it goes.

>>58132872
>concrete office no paint no posters one graffiti mural
>all appliances a coffee machine, meeting table, and fridge with mongoDB stickers
>Punching bag
>one table for meeting, poorly crafted from water tubes
>one table for development, 8 laptops, 19 monitors
>techno music all day erry day
>5 devs, 8+ managers
>no titles/functions just selfmade titles like "Imagineer", "Autonomist", "Colormaster" and "Design Fairy"
>totally unqualified friends/girlfriends of the founders, in charge of "company atmosphere", "UX evaluation" and "overseeing the scrum process in all branches" (I kid you not, these people just randomly walked up to ask what are you doing)
>Frittz Kola

When you're like "fuck I really need to find out where this segfault came from" and someone says "Lets just have a coffee play some Wii golf and then you'll find it" it's time to leave.
Pay was good though, plus I could come in at 11 if I wanted