I'm about to have a complete mental breakdown. Programming

He just frowned and said 'you know, it's a pain to fire people but if they say something that people can construe as them quitting voluntarily, it's really easy for us' so now I'm afraid I've given them a way to fire me without getting unemployment or whatnot, since a coworker heard the conversation and he could be a 'witness'. I'm so stressed, I can't enjoy anything on my time off, on the weekend I constantly worry about work and can't relax and play a game or anything without dread looming over everything.

The worst part is that they can get away with it because there is an army of Chinese, Indian and other 3rd world country visa workers who will gladly work under inhumane and insane conditions because the alternative is being sent back to their home country. Just to clarify, I'm not mad at those workers, their situation is even shittier than mine, but that's not any real consolation for me.

>just be irreplaceable brah, just be a genius

I can't, and I'm not. I don't know what to do. I worked retail in my teens and it was less stressful (slightly, I know retail is shit) but then I'd have to move back in with my parents, which would probably cancel out the stress.

I'm legitimately autistic (my shrink in my teens diagnosed me as HFA) but I doubt I can ever qualify for bux since in the government's view, I've demonstrated an ability to work.

Today I'm taking lots of (prescribed) Clonazepam to calm my nerves for tomorrow, but I feel like I'm going to just break down and start sobbing into my keyboard one of these days.

>>57170099

Stop. Cut all communication. Work. Work from home if you have to. Do the work, cut their words, their faces and their voices from your mind. It's stressing you out and distracting you from the problem you need to solve.

Just work. And then when you're done present them with it. I've had to do this before. Some managers don't know that they're fucking up your concentration. Just shut it out any way you can and focus.

>>57170094
> I'm legitimately autistic

You are not autistic™ or else you would be good at programming.

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I've been working for nearly 3 months. 3 months of the most painful, hateful, disgraceful, humiliating, crushing time in my life. 3 months are nothing, yet I'm certain that it opened a already scarred my soul in a way that it will never go away. I've experienced so much humiliation that even if I stopped working right now I would never overcome it. I cannot sleep naturally anymore, and have to rely on alcohol to sleep. It also provides me with a bit of relief, but I've drank so much in these past 3 months that I feel like I've doing serious damage to it. Another thing that damages it is my lack of sleep. Even though I drink to sleep, I sleep little, since I have to wake up very early. What would be a terrible day regardless, becomes like a torture session, only it's meaningless because I wouldn't get away even if I confessed anything they wanted me to confess. And this is only the beginning.

I don't know how much I will be able to take. This isn't life. I've never thought I would experience this. What is the point of working to live if there is no point in life if you work?

Life was so beautiful when I was a NEET. Even when I wasn't happy I can't say I ever experienced a fraction of the pain I'm going through.

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Some people just aren't cut out for programming. Seems fun as a hobby or for something to do, but I don't think I could do it as a job.

>>57170094

Well OP just fucking leave that job. Your bosses are terrible at their job, and to make up for it they'll just burn you and blame anything that goes wrong on you. Your best option is to just burn the bridge, quit asap. Alternatively you could become even more cutthroat than your boss (he is absolutely lying btw), and try to scheme to leverage him out of his position. This will likely involve throwing even more people under the bus than your boss.

Quit or become the bigger asshole. Those are your options.

Then you could spend your unemployment learning how to pentest web applications. Its easy work, and getting hired for doing it isn't super hard if you have a programming background.

>>57170094
okay, here's what you should do:

>quit
>move to Eastern Europe
it's not bad, really, it's actually as nice as Western Europe if you're not a bydlo plus everybody speaks English in Czechia and Poland (don't know about the other countries)
>live a modest but peaceful life doing freelance programming for Western clients

you can get $500 for a project and that's enough to survive, do two projects and you can live a decent middle class life

you can also get a regular programming job here, with outsourcing booming here the companies literally lick you ass because they're so desperate to attract more cheap workforce

Guy just make it in english, then. C is literally just using english! So it calculus! Just don't expect it be TOEFL. That stuffs for easterners!

>falling for the programming meme

Well I guess it's all up to Sandeep and Xiao Meng Chi then

>>57170094

God, are you retarded..

>programmgin sucks
>I can't work 12 hours each day, why?

Maybe you just have a bad job.

Guess what? That happens.


Just tell your boss to fuck himself and resign. If he's using pressure against his employees that's already a big nono, even if he was right (and he isn't right).

You have some weeks to look for a differnt job. Any sane person will understand that you want fair working conditions.

>>57171902

After giving it a second thought, rather let them bleed.

Go to a doctor and tell him that your boss is bullyign you and you're about to get an axiety disorder. Try to get money from them, maybe even sue them. And then find a new nice cozy place to work.

Tell them your last company was terrible, don't make it look like you are a trouble starter, but if you tell them there was bullying they will either understand or it's not a place you want to work.

>>57171051
>plus everybody speaks English in Czechia and Poland
Older Czechs speak Russian at best. Younger ones don't even understand Slovak and they speak English with accent so thick that you can barely understand them. That is if you find somebody that can speak anything else than Czech. Good luck with that.

I'm kind of in the same situation. Every engineer seems way more talented than I do. I feel like I'm super incompetent. My code reviews always take a day or 2 to actually be accepted. Is that normal? I feel like an idiot dragging the team down. ):

>>57170094
you are working in the programming field for 3 years?
Good you have experience, look for another job
roughly 60% of all programming jobs are garbage because the managers or the boss have no understanding about programming and so they can't even comprehend the amount of time it takes to write a program so they give extremely strict deadlines.

Also recent studies have shown that each time a programmer is asked when it will be done, the programmer in question loses 2 hours of work.

I'm in the same boat as OP, it's great as a hobby, but not as a full time job.

I'll quit my job and build a business on an idea that I had with my brother.

>>57171946

You're nowhere in the same situation.

When you are are the newbie, of course they pressure-test you a little bit. And of course you are slower in the beginning, you have to pick up everything at once.

But there's a differnce between "hard, but fair" and "abusive". If they tell you you are too slow, then - well, maybe you just are. No biggy, just ask other how you could improve. Work on yourself, show some "spirit", get better.

But if they are trying to put you down, don't waste your time with them. There's a lot of places where things are fucked up beyond, get out as asap. Not worth to play their stupid mind games.

>>57170094
This is not actually far from the truth. Anyone can write code, but you need a particular mind to write good code.

>>57170094
Install Windows and play video games. It's what 90% of /g/ dedicates their life to.

>>57171983
Shit nigger, it's great as a full time job, especially in an agile shop, they're so fucking bent up over process that in a two week sprint, I can do the work in at most three days and then I get to screw around until the next sprint.

op, its not problem with job as much as with your mental health, they would bully you even if you were doing some manual labor job

see here

>A user on Reddit forum who goes by the alias FiletOfFish1066 (referred to as Mr. Fish hereafter) has been let go by his company after it was discovered that Mr. Fish hadn't actually done anything for six years. Umm, well he did something, but nothing new and productive, his Bay Area-based firm says, which paid him $95,000 (avg) each of these years. When he first got his software testing quality assurance job, he spent eight months automating all of the programming tasks. With all of his tasks fully automated by a computer, he was able to literally sit back and do whatever he wanted. Mr. Fish is pretty despondent in tone after he posted about getting fired from his job. He's upset because he has completely forgotten how to code, having relegated all that work to the computer, and now possesses no marketable skills. But, he also is not stressed financially, having saved up $200,000 during his 6-year long "career."

Either get better at math or abandon all sense and flood your program with global variables and booleans.

Either one will speed your work up.

>>57171958
Why the fuckdo they do this.

I know a manager who manages some guy in India (absolute kek) and he doesn't know how to program but seems to know his technical stuff.

Personally I think it's bullshit that the manager is not an experienced programmer reviewing the code and helping direct the project along. (Like a Linus).

Is that really how most of the industry is?

Im just a hobbyist atm

>>57172583
In my company, our manager was a programmer before with 11 years of documented experience.

>>57172583
My former boss had a PhD in computer science and was an excellent programmer.

Sometimes bringing in a bomb and getting rid of the company is a good idea.

Is this a start up op? How big is the company?

I accidentally applied to a start up and this would suck ass. Programming is pretty hard for me, sure I made an app, but I feel it takes longer than it should. (Making a small icon that taps to show three pieces of info took like 5hours)

>Boss said our company is 'more lax than most companies' and 'the whole industry is like this'. 'When I was your age, I did this schedule for 6 months straight sometimes'.

Guarantee you he's bullshitting. A few anons here are pointing out that working 12 hours a day is shit working conditions. They're right. I just got fired yesterday for requesting a transfer to a different department because I didn't feel like I would be successful in the one I'm in (I put the blame on myself but the real reason was office politics). Guess what? They fired me on the spot. I was working 11-12 hours a day to meet their shitty demands and once I showed that I wasn't interested in getting fucked anymore, they tossed me out like yesterday's leftovers. Fuck em, companies that function like that eventually fall apart. Turnover skyrocketing and the hire-ups had meetings about retention, they were trying to figure out ways to keep people from quitting and here they go firing me for wanting to transfer to another department as if that's supposed to a send a message to the rest. Don't let it get to you, take what you've learned at this job and apply to other places. Be confident about what you know and what your experience is, if you've been put through the meat grinder and came out intact, trust me, you've got valuable skills an employer will want.

>>57170094
You're boss is a dick id tell him to fight me then if he did some stupid shit like that

Find a new job asap. Be the one to start the wave OP

>>57170094
>>57170099

similar problem when suddenly i get a lot of work to do in short amount of time. And then the superiors were amazed by the fact i worked till 2 am to finish something they had to have the same day. That's what happens when you get new software for which people who worked/are working on even tells you that it's sucky sucky kill my cucky and you have to do something with it


fuck those faggots who use crappy ancient software just because standards and don't have the ability to use newer software or actually any kind of software.

Hey guys i was thinking about getting into programming as a career, what language should i learn when i finish HTML? i want to cover my bases

>>57175496
What type of area do you want to be in?
Systems? Applications? Web? Games?

Holy fuck this post is scaring me to death.
I'm at second year of uni to be a programmer, All my mates have passed all the exams, except me, I'm 3 exams behind.
I'm scared to death for deadlines, I feel too much pressure, and I'm scared about programming as a job, I feel like shit, everytime that I wake I ask to myseft "Should I really study this much for a work that will fuck my life up?".
I like tecnology and programming [spoiler] when it works [/spoiler] .
I know that this isn't the correct attitude to follow, but this is what I'm feeling right now.
As for you OP, I'm really sorry , I don't know that much when it comes to job, but looks like that your boss is a fucking asshole and you should quit and get a new job as a programmer

>>57175559

relax you spaz.

1 of two things will happen, you will pass or you wont.

dont fucking stress

Fucking WOMAN.

>>57172422
200k is nothing

>>57170094
>>57170099
get the fuck out of there.

no, the industry is NOT like this. you're being exploited and treated like a piece of shit.

>>57170094

Good to have some perspective OP.

I work fully remote job as a contractor making 70/hr. I typically work at most about 2 hours a day and bill for 8. Depends on the job though, sometimes there are crunch times where it's a lot like what you say it is, but I dont mind them so much.

can confirm not all places are like that. Just joined a decent web dev company and fucking loving the relaxed environment as well as the 'kick back, better be good than on time' attitude. Honestly not all places are like that