i fucked up /g/ I exaggerated my coding skills at a job interview

ur fukd

Great, then you're pretty much on the same level as any other college graduate.

Surely its possible to go from zero experience to Pajeet in a weekend?

>>56294382
Well, what other experience do you have?

>>56294382
>>56294443
72 hours of hard study is about as much as you'll get from a real course anyway. Who needs sleep?

You're fucked.
If you had some programming experience, you could pick most of Java up in 1 week. But you don't.
So you're fucked.

There are a lot of good video tutorials. When you watch them all one by one I think you could already be Pajeet tier in a weekend.

But I don't know for sure. Have very very little coding experience

>>56294382
it's their fault.
the interviewer should have asked for a demonstration of your skills.

but yeah. you're fucked. without previous programming experience, you won't be able to learn any programming language in a weekend.

>>56294382
I told them not to hire you because it was clear you lied in your resume. Wtf.

>Have no programming experience

Jesus dude, why would you even lie without some sort of experience? If you had basic experience in some language you could have picked it up in no time, but the most time consuming part about learning to program is learning the logic.

>>56294382
10/10 bait.
Pinned 4 reading more replies.

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Whats the best online source to learn? How long before I can fake it so my coworkers don't suspect my incompetency?

FUCK

>>56294382
How the fuck did the interviewer not figure out you have 0 programming experience? Did they not ask you some type of programming questions?

You're probably pretty fucked, but you need to get the fuck off of 4chan and try to make yourself into something. It really isn't hard to program, but it takes time - which you don't have a lot of.

Good luck, next time don't lie that bad.

>>56294570
Not true. There are entire facets to development styles that need to baked into your approach. Like server side development you need to be painfully aware of code injection, graceful failures, input sanitization, stateless interfaces, object serialization,, etc etc. You can't pick that sort of shit up overnight or even through stackoverflow.

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>>56294382

>>56294382
Look OP, my most sincere advice is: Don't go.

> why?

You will literally get flagged as a lying fuck and will never get a job anymore.

>>56294411
dubdubs of truth have spoken

>>56294382
FUCKED
U
C
K
E
D

Just wing it and get as many paychecks as you can before they dump your ass. They have to pay you for the time worked even if you're a failure. Use the precious, small amount of time you have at the company to learn as much as you possibly can and make a good impression. If you woo the right people they might move you to a position you're more qualified for once they realize that you're totally useless.

Good luck anon!

There's a possibility that they're going to give you enough time before you have to accomplish anything, as well as be forgiving enough, that you can learn fast enough to survive.

It's going to be a trial by fire, but the possibility is there, if you put in the time.

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>>56294382
>Java
Nice choice,
you don't only have to learn syntax and general problem solving skills using programming but they probably also expect knowledge in creating and using test cases, general knowledge about OOP philosophies and maybe even some knowledge about popular design patterns.

Also why are you wasting your little time you have left shitposting instead of learning java!

>>56294382

>hired as a java developer
>have no programming experience

I kekd, you're fucked buddy.

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How much ground up coding is there in Java development? Isn't it pretty much just copypasting and rearranging classes that other people wrote?

>>56294382
Go search for Derek Banas on YouTube. Look for Java on his channel. Go through as many of his tutorials as you can until Monday.

>>56294382
Java is not hard to learn. The thing that will get you is the toolset. Shit to build, source control systems, etc. Learn the names of a few and ask for a refresher when they ask if you know about them.

You will have probably a week to study up at night. If you are meant to be a programmer, that will be enough.

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>>56294675
didnt' have this one, thx I love the orly book covers

>>56294382
If they fell for it, maybe you should try getting into their sales department?

Dude, it's easy as fuck. Seriously.

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>>56297403
Oh my god, I can't believe I hadn't seen these before.

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>>56297835
fukkn saved

I'm going to help you out here, OP.

I don't know how to program, at all.

But I am the king of lies. The people that hired you probably don't know one fucking thing about programming either. All you have to do is kiss their ass and complain about how "those guys over in [insert department you learned about on the first day of the job here] mucked up the works", and that you're spending most of your time fixing their mistakes rather than writing code. You should be able to stall long enough to learn. Just never admit you have no idea what you're doing.

Next, befriend the lamest person at work. Abuse them for assistance, but most importantly, a reference for the future. Now that you worked as a programmer at this company, you have experience! You can use it to get another scam job and keep riding the sail of lies from job to job. When the new job asks you why you quit, you can tell them that you were sexually harassed (or just subtly imply it) and were made to sign a Nondisclosure agreement.

>>56294755
If you're only there a couple of months then don't even put it on your employment history

>>56294382
have fun weeb