Serious question coming in: I need to put a device in a network,

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Serious question coming in:

I need to put a device in a network, which allows me to ssh into it from the outside and tunnel all my traffic through there.

I don't have router and will use wifi for obvious reasons (hiding it somewhere)

Which is the best approach? Hiding a phone or pi somewhere? Or might it be better to gift someone there something with a pi hidden inside.

I have about 30Ah of powerbanks/battery packs that could provide energy for pi/phone