Tech illiterate people stories thread

>>55902134
>10 years ago
>mow lawn and shit to get my own computer
>get a glorious thinkpad
>install debian to learn some programming
>neighbour decide to use computer when i'm not home
>think it's broken
>go to some store to get it installed wincuck
>my all work i've worked for one year is gone
>i moved out when i was 18

> Run Linux
> Recommend it to friends
> They all get mad at me for trying to encourage them to pursue freedom
> I curbstomp them in every logical argument
> they win by volume
> cognitive dissonance spreads to the group
> they've all convinced themselves that Linux is shit
> for various reasons I stop hanging out with them and never speak to them again

Linux is completely easy to use. It takes no more effort to learn to use Linux than it takes to learn Windows, most people just learn Windows way earlier in life because it's prebundled on everything.

>>55902270
> they win by volume
PC vs Mac on /g/ in a nutshell

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>>55902222
>neighbour decide to use computer when i'm not home
hwat?

>>55902270
i dont even think of telling my friends about linux, i will only answer questions if they ask me what "skin" im using.

Im sorry that you lost from friends anon.

>>55902442
They were shitty friends anyway. The Linux thing was just a symptom of their ongoing war on people with different ideas.

They'd be right at home on /v/.

>>55902343
PC vs. Mac is always fun to watch.

Personally I'd rank it Linux > Mac > Windows.

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>normie cunt ask why I'm using mp3 player
>sansa clip+ with rockbox
>"I just like having control over what I listen to."
>she says I should use pandora
>rattles off a bunch of shit bands SHE liked that they have on there
>"Pretty sure they don't have Kashiwa Daisuke on Pandora"
>she says "I guess not." and looks down at her phone and stays quiet
>mfw she just got btfo

>use operating system I like
>friend uses a different one
>not autistic so it doesn't bother me and I don't push my opinions on him
>we get along just fine

Normies btfo

>>55902640
>start hanging out with him some more
>getting to know him day by day
>start liking him
>one day he knocks on my door
>I say come in
>say I have to change quickly hang on
>undress in my room and start masturbating
>he comes in
>what's taking so lo-
>Finish his sentence while stroking my penis
>he comes up to me
>I put my finger on his lips
>shhhh...
>take his pants off
>have sex
>he says
>oh no it looks like you forgot the gnu+dick
>contract aids

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>brother asks me to choose a laptop for him since he knows I'm good with this stuff
>"anon I just want to browse facebook and watch movies and skype, nothing else"
>you sure? you don't want to play any games?
>"nope"
>buy cheap laptop with fullHD screen and very weak gpu
>"ANON WHY DOESNT FALLOUT 4 RUN ON MY LAPTOP WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS SHIT"

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>>55902726
>oh no it looks like you forgot the gnu+dick
I don't gnu+get it

>>55902735
>omg a chromebook? But what if i want to use photoshop?
Every time

>>55902549
i like kashiwa daisuke too, anon

>>55902270
> try to explain privacy issues to friends
> they get angry that I'm suggesting they make a change
> start yelling
> finally one says 'what issues do you run into day-to-day because of spying'
> 'because I can think of a couple from avoiding it - like long passwords'

Some people just need to starve to death.

>>55902893
> but anon.. nothing to hide.. no need privacy
this, all the time.

>>55903536
>nothing to hide
*unzips dick*

>>55903590
kek

> be me
> technical school in italy
> using kali 'cause faggot and young (I think it wasn't even kali but backtrack)
> open terminal
> technology professor start staring at me
> accessing wifi from terminal 'cause i messed up earlier
> can't access the interweb
> router blocking external MACs
> cloning mac from someone connected to the wifi
> happyface.png, I'm connected and feeling Haxor
> professor goes crazy, starts to scream and tell me to shut down the pc.
> I do it, still from terminal cause being edgy
> professor take my pc cause he think I'm covering up my footprints
> Kindly ask him if he is insane
> not great choice of words
> professor is now mad at me as fuck
long story short
An "IT expert" get called and talks to the professor explaining that the linux is not a fucking weapon and after two hours the prof give me back my loved and comfy Eee pc, just cause I wanted fucking wifi

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>>55903779
>circumventing restrictions
>surprised when in trouble when gets caught
baka desu senpai

>>55903590
i hope you mean pants

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>Friend asks me what os I recommend
>I tell them to install gentoo
DEVILISH
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

>>55903842
he didn't even know i was doing something like that

>>55902875
>>55902549
I like what I hear on youtube from that artist. Do you know where I could get the music? Can't seem to find a good torrent that is still being seeded and I don't have a What account...

>>55902270

>It takes no more effort to learn to use Linux than it takes to learn Windows

But Linux is shit for anything related to work, it doesn't even have software.

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Here's a story of my own.

> install Gentoo literally because /g/ told me to
> Takes me a month because I know nothing about Linux
> Get it working
> Feel awesome
> Try to mount flash drive
> giving me permissions trouble
> just fucking mount everything from terminal
> one day decide to reformat flash drive
> do it from terminal
> dd if=/dev/random of=/dev/sda1
> don't notice my mistake until the laptop slows to shit
> ctrl-c in a panic
> starting at laptop, things don't look too fucked yet
> reboot on instinct
> Drive was encrypted
> Key was dd'd
> locked out
> commit suicide

Nowadays I'm back on Fedora because it just werks. I could go back to Gentoo if I wanted but I don't see much reason aside from getting to use this wallpaper I made again.

>>55904295
> what is libreoffice
> what is Wine
> what is googling Linux alternatives to things

There's a workable Linux alternative to everything you need. Chrome even runs on it, so you can still access your Netflix and other proprietary stuff if you need.

I will admit Linux is still weak on the video editing front, but they're working on it.

>>55903842
Restrictions are for the meek who are too stupid to find a way around.

My mother is at the level where I can ask who her email provider is and get a blank look b3cause "I just use the icon in the button".

>>55902134
>1
>2
>3 4

>>55902134
Here's mine:
>today
>go to /g/

>>55902270
You and your friends sound like autists

>>55904480
I find kdenlive very capable, but it's not sony vegas or adobe premier capable yet.

>>55903881
Is not a bad OS. Have been thinking of installing it in my 2gb laptop.

>>55904899
It'll take a day. You can probably do other things while shit compiles though.

>>55904847
> I sound like an autist
Fucking how? I recommended something I like and believe in and they got pissed off at me because they hate change.

Shit makes me fucking cringe so hard. Here's mine.

>Friend uses Windows 10.
>Completely infected with malware.
>Blames his computer because he doesn't know how to maintain it. Don't get me wrong, Windows is shit but it's not rocket science. If you have to use Windows then you should know how to fucking maintain it.
>I tell him that he needs to learn more about computers.
>He says "I would learn more about the compooter but I THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT IT."
>WTF
>People actually ask this kid to fix their computers when he can't even maintain a fucking Windows machine.
>This kid actually wants to major in CSIS.
>Every Windows user I know has flunked or dropped out of CSIS

>>55904952
>It'll take a day
I wonder how long it would take to compile on my powerbook G4...

>>55902222
>be american
>leave your house for a few minutes
>forget to close terminal
>get arrested for being a hacker

>>55902549
>get blasted by literally everyone daily because I don't really listen to music
>just like some songs every now and then
>probably only download like 10-20 songs a year
>that's pretty much all I'd listen to all year
>music is the biggest convo killer of my life
>fucking everyone will talk about music at some point but I just draw blank


>crowning achievement so far
>my car has CD I burned with a ton of initial D eurobeat tracks because its fun as shit to drive with
I suck with the whole pop culture and music shit. Telling me to get Spotify and Netflix won't fix it.

On the tech side of things;
>own small 8.9" hybrid tablet/laptop which is nifty as fuk
>take it to uni because lol not even close to 1kg so my back praises it
>get plenty of odd stares or comments
>"lol omg anon your laptop is so smaaalll"
>never sure if its to make fun of me or out of curiosity/disbelief
>realise that everyone assumes its my main PC
>nobody seems to own a desktop
>mfw everyone lugs around 15.6-17" multi kg behemoth laptops which contains their life on it every single day
>my little laptop still boots faster than their i7 fagbook pro lol
Because you know, you need an i7 for a text editor.

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>Told by business grandma to scan drive for file
> the usual "okay what file"
> "I don't know"
> As per fucking usual, we have a file, from 2004, on a old as fuck drive, that she has no clue what it's called
>Most likely on the ZIP drives.
>yeah, couldn't be good enough to store on floppies, which my case has a reader, nope, fucking ZIP drives.
>crumble in anger as half tech mom goes "The CSD people at my uni will scan it and find it you don't know what you're doing"
>doing this for over 4 years pls god kill me.

Why do these people make my life hell? I have more, if people are interested.

>>55905032
Moar zip drives pl0x

>>55905032
More and pics of your mom

>>55905013
what laptop men?

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>>55905076
Me mahm is fat and old. You don't wanna see that.
>After moving in with my mum, i pop back now and then to see how grandma is doing.
>I'll get onto how she thought i broke the TV every time i played PS2, but that'll come after.
>She complains pc is running slow.
>The usual "what sites do you use where do you go"
>Put a scanner because spidey sense told me she'd be autistic and do something.
>Scan, nothing. Strange, still runs like shit.
It was a packard bell that's major old but it still runs a-okay when i use it.
>Boot up good ol Internet Explorer cos she uses it and has stuff saved.
>oh no.
>the old gods told of this day.
>Toolbars, fucking everywhere, bad text, things that looked more illegitimate than a mexican travelling to syria during the IS breakout.
>I died inside a little that day.

Ended up clearing most of it off, but next time i visited, just found more she somehow got embedded into her browser.
How the fuck do these people manage to dick up so bad?

>>55905137
Moar and I do want pics of mom

>>55905104
Toshiba click mini.

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>>55905137
>toolbars
That's a name I haven't heard in a while.

>>55905170
Have you considered a Thinkpad X series one? Like /g/ says, they are godly. Most comfortable laptops I've ever seen. Toshiba Click Mini seems like "muh slim" type of computer.

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>>55905165
she's on a nude site somewhere, my eyes are still burned with those horrid images.
>The TV chronicles.
Now i don't know why, or how she thought that worked, she'd sort of been coaxed into using tech because she ran a buisness and she literally did most of it publically and advertising. But no, grandeur old grandma still manages to fuck up mentally all the time.
>She once put a knife in a toaster to try and get some bread out.
>dangerzone.jpg
Moving on anyway,this is the thing that pained me the most living with her.

For some reason, every time i used the TV, because i couldn't afford my own being a poor fuck student and all, she immediately assumed that because the Sky box wasn't set up to the right fucking signal port, she'd have a panic attack and screech high heaven. It always went something like this.
>"ANON, COME IN HERE"
>Crawl my ass off of skype and go see what the hound of hell wants now.
>"Yes?"
>"YOU BROKE IT"
>uwot.jpg
>"YOU BROKE THE TV"
>Calm her down and ask what the fuck she means
>"YOU PLAY YOUR GAMES AND THEY BROKE THE TV"
>I fail to process this mentally because these levels of autism don't register with me on any fucking scale.
>It was literally on the default setting, calmly take remote from her hands, change it via AV and she shut the fuck up.

But it happened, every fucking time. Always some sort of conversation about how changing the setting on a TV for 15 minutes to play PS2 breaks it.

If hell had a cranky partner, it was her.

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>>55905236
HOLY FUCK ARE YOU FOR REAL
HOW THE FUCK DID SHE EVEN GET THERE?
HOLYMOTHERFUCKNIG FUCK

>>55905248
She walked her ass through the gates of hell and made satan her bitch, i suppose.

She was a grand person, but god, too many fucking PTSD nightmares living with her and trying to teach technology.

>>55905268
he's talking about your mom dummy

>>55905268
I MEAN YOUR MOM. NUDE SITES.

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>>55905289
>>55905296
Oh that.
Yo, people do what they want when they get older. I couldn't give a fuck, but it was still disturbing.

>>55905236
I need pics of ur mom more
>>55905318
Gib the link

>>55905318
I really want the story if there is any.

>>55905236
> these levels of autism don't register with me

I have that same problem. I'll just end up repeating whatever point I already made because my brain is forcing me to try and teach these people the truth while they're trying to win an argument with me.

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>>55904952
im on anon with this.
stop pushing your opinions on others if they dont care. you sound pretty annoying if you do.

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>>55905340
>>55905339
Mum hasn't dated in long time, wanted fresh meat, simple as?

Not really much to tell, i'd love to entertain you fucks but there's nothing to tell, honestly.

Talking of links, even more so, my memory is fucked and i have no clue where to even dig that up to appease yer mind m8

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>>55905381
Search her name on the porn site you found it on I need this.

I NEED THIS

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I think the worst incidents have had to been with my friends, rather than my family. While my family are fucktards, i've never seen anyone else fuck up as bad as my friends.
Let's see here.

>Friend in college complained computer was slow, fucked off to his dorm room to check his PC.
>First problem, some autistic indian "PC Speed Boost" shit. I very quickly warned him he's a mongoloid and there's no such thing as speed boosters for PC
>Second problem, he's using a laptop
>Third problem, he ended up watching a fuckton of porn on some bullshit site and managed to end up with over three thousand infections.
Trojans, Worms, everything, he had it all, I was suprised his fucking laptop didn't go Hiroshima.

There was also this girl i was seeing for a short while.
She had a friend build her PC but somehow managed to astronmically fuck up within a week.

>First week of owning a PC, she managed to get spiced up with some browser hijackers.
>Calmly tell her not to do anything, i'll get my shit ready and come over and repair her PC.
>She tells me she put in her installation disk and wiped her entire fucking drive re-installing.
>while it fixed the problem she whined for weeks how she lost her recordings.
GG Femanon, you fucked up.

I've never seen friends be this fucking stupid, but holy hell have I wanted to slap a few.

>>55905412
Also sorry to break your balls, her account is long since gone, she broke out of the phase really quick.

>>55905381
No prob. I have a story like that too.
>200x (?)
>be 6 (?)
>poo poo is kill
>"MAMAAAAA POO POO IS FINISHHH"
>mom coming
>she washes it with cold water
>refreshing.jpg
>older sister just out of bath
>she about 13 or so
>completely naked
>mfw i still remember that image
>fast forward to 7-8 years later
>fapping thinking about that
>sister is in bath
>bath is completely seen from my room
>saw it again
>ohh sexy.jpg
too bad she is a sjw and a feminazi now. (she doens't even shave)

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>>55903872
You can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man

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>>55905482
Unfortunately unlike you, i don't find fetishes within my family and have the need to degrade mentally to have enjoyment.

pls go doctor.

>>55905482
Pics of sis now?

>>55905478
Did she compain to you because of lost records?

>>55905527
No. Already had an accident like that. Had a fight in school. Girls still hate me.
>>55905507
She was hot af bro. She WAS. Not now.

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>>55905537
She complained how she had already wiped her drive and lost the recordings, when i'd already told her multiple times to NOT do a fucking thing, because as nice as she is, i knew she'd fuck something up.

She started a youtube channel and in short she'd done a lot of fucking work to try and make somewhat good content. Rip something like 40gb of recordings.
But not personally to me.

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>>55905555
also checked

nice quads m8

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>>55905575
>>55905575
Good. Because people always find someone to blame.
>90's
>set up interweb for a friend
>he forgets to un-connect
>300$ bill
>blames me

>>55905575
Link to her channel

>>55904230
I'd love to get a torrent, too. Amazing music.

>>55905588
holy fuck my hundredth quad.

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>I warned my parents about internet safety
>do some monthly checkups and updates
>tell father to be careful when using sites for work
>he says who cares, google already knows everything
>mfw

>>55905595
again, another request. I have NO FUCKING CLUE what her YT is.

>>55905197
The older ones would have probably fit my budget with a few drawbacks, but I quite liked the Toshiba because even though it was 'muh slim' it had everything that is normally stripped for slimming down.
>1080x1200 screen which is hard to find
>usb, micro usb, micro HDMI, micro SD and SD
>screen detaches, its a legit 2-in-1
>two batteries, one in keyboard and one in tablet for ~14hrs battery life
>quad core atom isn't even half bad, I expected far worse
>under 1kg
Pretty slick for text editor, emails/browsing and anime/pr0ns in bed. Sceptical about an older x series matching the specs

Tell him shut up or ill shove my cock in ur mouth and make you shut up

>>55905628
omfg i have a relatable time with that. Not family wise, but college wise.

Short and sweet we did exams, and one of the students admitted he cheated.
The teacher and him talked it out really short but his fallback was "if i need to know anything i'll just use google"
The fucktard didn't understand when something goes irreversibly wrong and you can't consult google, you're fucked without base knowledge and the power to go to a fucking library and consult there. Also didn't understand the point of a library.
Fuck, it hurts to be around these morons every day.

>>55905628
>ask google which distro is best
>says ubuntu as google likes botnets
Meh.
>>55905654
Screen, battery life and detachable screen seems pretty nice. But I prefer not using any "muh slim" products. They have garbage build quality (See ThinkPad X series or PSP1000 series (original casing. not some chink shit)) and they tend to have lesser battery quality/life.

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>>55905594
>you know this thing you told me not to do
>and i did it anyway
>i did it, so it's your fault for not telling me

ENDITNOWENDITNOWENDITNOWENDITNOWENDITNOWENDITNOW..

>>55902134
>Friend asks me to fix his computer as >it's super slow.
>Scan the PC, find 9,200 issues.
>It's over 9000!
>Find the source
>Some French streaming with 360P videos
And I know far less than the average /G/ user.

I have plenty of stories since I went to a private school where all of the kids are required to have shitty iPads and I was literally the only kid in the entire school who had ever used GNU/Linux
>rich as fuck kid from Palestine wants to buy maxed out Mac Pro at launch
>says he can buy it with a few months of his allowance, probably gets more than a full time job
>gets it and subsequently ditches it to make an equally expensive gayming PC
He's the world's biggest macfag and Apple shill, I think he's bought every single iPad and iPhone at launch as long as we were in school together

>using SSH for everything because iPad a shit, effectively just a dumb terminal and ebook reader for me
>literally everything I did led to people going apeshit
>editing random config file,
>OMG R U STEALONG CREDIT CARDS
>du -ch .
>HOW DO YOU HACK WEBSITES, I NEED TO TAKE DOWN ANOTHER STUDENT'S WORDPRESS TO WIN A STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTION
>using sc for spreadsheets in a lab
>OMG IS THAT LEENUX, WHAT MESSAGING APP DOES LEENUX USE, IS IT LIKE IMESSAGE
>shitposting on IRC
>I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY A DARKNET DRUG DEALER

One of the dumbest things that happened was the IT staff managed to get the school to buy a few hundred top of the line Cisco routers so they literally covered the ceilings in the halls but the school never bothered to invest in more bandwidth and all traffic goes through a shitty proxy hosted on a literal potato running windows server 2000 so it isn't any faster. They also left telnet open on all of the routers and left the default admin passwords.
Also
>IT sets up web filters
>pretty much every kid in the school downloads some shitty "free" VPN app where the TOS literally say they can sell your passwords if you use the service
>I point this out
>nobody gives a fuck
I don't know how I managed to keep my sanity after spending 4 years there.

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>>55904786
im so sorry

>>55905737
>ebook reader
It's shit for that too. Get a Kindle and jailbreak it. Delete Amazon botnet / auto-update / ad shits. Acts perfectly as a e-book / manga reader and has weeks (the expensive model has months) of battery life.

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>>55905737
they left on the default admin passwords?
Please tell me you fucked with them at least a little.
Also please god post more.

>>55905628
Adding some
>mother has a work laptop and a personal laptop
>the work one I don't touch, that's the IT guys job
>personal one had norton trial and avg with a toolbar

Can't people just read a little, when they click next?

>>55905746
Holy fuck time flies.

>>55905737
more pls

>>55905737
More stories, this is great

>>55905680
I've seen worse than that. My school had the worst cheating crowd of all time. Most of the teachers used homework and tests that were online and I was the only person I knew out of the top students who didn't look up the answers to tests beforehand. Everyone justified it because
>if the answers are online it's not cheating if I memorize them before I take the test
It got to the point where a lot of people had phones on their desk during tests and stole keys for teacher's cabinets to take pictures of final exams but nobody card because they thought they won't need any of this shit in the real world anyways.

>>55905839
What's the most fucking autistic about this is it is an actual IT course. People pay up to 6K to get on these courses and you have autistic dropout cunts that waste the place. I want to fucking put scissors in my ears and just end it all.

I did cheat on the exam though, because it's Cisco and i cannot retain the knowledge, we'd actually had no prior learning to it and it was 90% peoples first time going into networking. Killed my brain, I plan on re-doing and learning it all soon.

>>55905893
Ayy where are you from? My whole class cheated on Cisco exams. Cisco propaganda shouldnt be called networking technology as subject. Its fucking BS

>>55905380
This. If it ain't broke to them don't fix it

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>>55905963
Liverpool mate.

The entire college did, we had about 4 students actually legitimately pass. I talked with the teacher cos he's a bro and he knows the students cheat and simply says it's their loss when they can't talk for shit at job interviews.

What about you? where do you have to deal with this bullshit?

>>55902270
Linux isn't hard to use, you're right, but you're completely delusional if you think it's actually as easy as windows. It might be better in every other respect than windows, but windows is definitely easier.

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>>55902134
Do you look like this, OP?

>>55905994
Rotterdam, comp. science, the teacher is an autist, and literally doesnt care that they all get 90%+ scores. The school doesnt care, because they will get money from the government if more people succeed. I cheated too, but not because I needed the points, because it is a fucking stupid subject. I am studying comp sience, not Cisco. Teach me something that I can use. Interesting shit.

>>55906048
I found that unfortunately they don't teach shit during these course, and it's painful because when i go to a job, they'll look at me and laugh knowing the curriculum they give is fucking shit-tier.

At least we share a pain together my bro.
Got any autistic college stories?

>Parents all me to buy them a laptop to use because want to be rid of desktop.
>Ask what they want it to do and price range.
>Look up some online, find them a deal
>good work anon

>4 years later still no issues except one time they got a minor virus i had to remove

Feels good man

> set up Skyrim in WINE
> need to use terminal commands to start it
> probably a more efficient way to go about it, but I just typed wine (path/to/exe).
> Literally just hit up-enter to make it start because I'm bored in class
> Guy next to me says "you're pretty good with the, uh, console."

Not as big as some of the other stories here, and I actually wound up having a nice conversation with the guy.

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>>55906047
>ifunny

>>55906075
Other than this, no.

From the same teacher we got the subject 'Operating systems'. Basically: learn what deadlock is, learn to work with linux. Make some assignments (which was just copy pasting commands) and do a simple ass test.

My curriculum isnt that shit. We always have ongoing projects, a lot of maths, good programming courses (that go indept but a bit slow to my liking(Java, 1 year, nxt year: c++ & some Haskell)). We also get skills lessons etc. for applying to jobs and creating CVs and shit.

I got: algebra, linear algebra, gonio, and more math. Java, SQL, ERDs, networking and OS's

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>>55903779
yo EEe PCS are fucking great,

are they still even existing? Where can you get them.

>>55906047
Fatter. And my jacket isn't some peasant shit. I wear this:
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/606092402588155908/I_o18yyH.jpg

>>55906142
My dad taught me all I know. Soldering, using computers, and he was the one made me start coding. Your parents are peasants, anon.

>>55906181
What the fuck is gonio? That is something i have never ever heard of.

And yeah, the second year includes more programming (which i fuckin despise)
We're gonna be sucking the dick of Cisco Packet Tracer Instructor and i soooooooo don't want to fucking learn it.

While it's intriguing to visualize a network, i just don't fucking want to try.

>>55902134
>always looking at privacy
>using Linux, Tor and Camera and microphone on laptop and smartphone are taped
>getting girlfriend
>She uses Windows 10, Internet Explorer, Facebook and doesn't care about privacy.
>Posts shitty things about us on facebook
>saves our photos on her Android device with lots of stupid freemium games which steals her data
>I am totally depressed

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>Be teleco tech
>Install 45meg VDSL at some dude's house
>"NOW AH WUZ TOLD DAT THAT THERE CORD MAkES IT FASTER"
>Points to fucking ethernet cord
>"Yeah. Ethernet is always better than wireless"
>"EVEN IF UR RITE HERE?!?!?!?"
>mfw

You have no idea what it's like installing internet for a living. The amount of dumb, mind bogglingly stupid shit I've seen is innumerable.

>>55906248
Please tell me more.

Please, i love those kind of stories best, middle class morons who have never seen a fucking ADSL cable or anything.

>>55906246
Just break up. What are you waiting for?

>>55906242
Ah, programming is no problem for me. Easy to learn, like to do it. Gonio(metry) is just angles, cosinis, sinus, tangent, logarithms and more. And yeah, we gotta start doing cisco 3&4 too.

Man it sounds like you do nothing at ur school. Do you have projects each semester?

>>55906248
>>55906267
Me too. More please.

>>55904480 openshot works ok

>>55906267
>teleco tech
>woman complains internet isn't working
>open her ipad
>literally pages upon pages of opened apps and games
>scrolling
>scrolling
>scrolling
>THERE'S NO FUCKING END
>Eventually close all of her programs
>ipad works
>she gets mad that I closed her games, says I lost her "hard work"
>try to explain it's still there, but mostly just give myself an excuse to leave

Like at least 12 of those games are just copies of each other. I have no idea why her iPad didn't commit ritual suicide after what she put it through.

>>55906307
>semester
Nigger, i'm british. Try again.

But no, i usually procrastinate, The course is so depressing i got 4 merits and 2 distinctions before the course ended that year. I completed about 6 months of work in 3 days. It's awfully easy.

It's sad, i wish we had a major hard challenge each day.

I think the best, but cutest thing that ever happened, is we recently had a Microsoft suite installed, (yo it's fucking sick btw), teacher came in, looked pissed, was confused, he pulled up a blank document, made some grunts, and fucked off, I kept the class calm because this was..unsual. And noticed he'd left the projector on. Again, strange.

It's a word document, Blank document.
What do i notice? There's a word count.

The sneaky fucker wanted us to figure out unfigurable problems for ourselves in the worst of situations. Nobody could fucking see it and i calmly highlighted the whited text and made it black, revealing he wanted us to assemble downstairs.

Oh yes, the piggies followed. It's sad. These students don't think themselves anymore, and the course is depressing. I see the pain in my teachers eyes as he's been doing this shit 25 fucking years and probably had to deal with a class of autists each year that just don't want the course.

>>55906358
>still telecoing
>Business is out
>Buncha Asian master race people
>Don't say any shit like "Ni hao" or "Aanyong" because I'm not a fucking autist
>EZ modem swap
>Leave
>Get a call later
>"Um yeah the internet isn't working"
>rufookinsrsm8.tmp
>Go back there off the books
>Fucking 4 cascaded switches behind it +some other "Firewall" service
>Not paid enough for this shit
>Power cycle them all
>Problem fixed

There were like 8 computers there and these people needed routers left right and center. I have no fucking idea why people who don't understand basic IT principals let themselves run a business. None of that shit had anything to do with our company and I fixed it anyways because I'm a fucking cuck.

>>55906358
Yeah no, people do this constantly and whine their shit is running slow as fuck.

Open it up and there's MONTHS of apps left open, probably raping the entire phone as it struggles to push ridiculous power levels

>it's over 90c :'c

>>55906302
Maybe he thinks he can turn her around.

More likely she'll dump him if he even suggests it.

> I have nothing to hide
> Why should I spend ten minutes establishing a borderline secure system
> what's a linucks
> I don't like firefox

The list goes on.

>>55906358
This is so common with my sisters family
>they have laptop they use and let their 5 year old use
>complain that battery doesn't last as long as it used to
>complain it's slow
>ok lemme just make sure you don't have like a million apps running or something like that lol
>literally every single app on the full as fuck iPad running along with 10 million pictures of the floor taken by the baby

>>55902270
>abandoning friends because of a fucking computer operating system

I'm having problems taking you seriously right now.

>>55906418
desu if they didn't fuck up you wouldn't get that good ol pay.

The stupid make the world go round /g/bro.

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>>55906157

>>55906248
I honestly feel sorry for a telco guy where I live
>9 AM
>internet randomly goes out at house
>nothing fucking works
>I know the problem is the VDSL line
>have to go through hour on phone with Indian who doesn't speak a word of English just to have telco guy show up
>doesn't even understand enough for me to explain the problem
>eventually they give up and send someone over
>at this point it is 7PM
>telco guy shows up, spends next hour going in and out of house trying to find out exactly wtf is going on
>eventually finds out that some other dumbfuck telco guy working on neighbor's lines accidentally cut the line to my house
>I mean literally cut, and didn't even bother to fix it or tell anyone
>poor telco guy spends next 3 hours fixing his coworker's mistake
>it's the company's fault so we can't even pay the guy a service charge.

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>>55902893
>hoping they starve to death
>can't even order a pizza online with his operating system

>>55906438
iPad not laptop*

>>55906418
Hold up I need to say one last thing about my FUCKING CO WORKER. This guy INSTALLED FIBER FOR A LIVING and you won't believe some of the shit he said. Sorry if this is getting more out of IT but I think it's relevant.

>Be getting "fiber trained"
>Have every fucking CFOT under the sun from the FOA
>This prick "used to install fiber" (his words)
>"OK SO TEH FURST THING WE DU IS CHZECK FOR LOSS"
>Puts a visual fault locator on his drop wire
>Measures it at the other end at 1490 nano meters
>I try to explain visual light is ~700 nano meters and he's doing literally nothing
>Wire is factory made anyways
>"WELL IDK WE'RE NOT SUPOSED TO MESURE AT 850nm"
>uwotm8
>get to the part where we do the inside fiber wiring
>"OK SO THIS WIRE IS 125 MICROMETERS WERE GONNA STRIP OFF ALL BUT 9MICROMETERS"
>This dude doesn't know the difference between the cladding and the coating
>This dude had a job installing fiber
>This dude is supposed to be teaching me shit

Needless to say he's never seen an OTDR in his life. Once I get my cisco certs I'm the fuck outta this company.

>>55906495
You have no idea how much this happens at our company. The amount of times we get dispatched for one of our own employees stealing another person's line or cutting it is insane.

Cutting is one thing, but when they fucking steal a pair of wires I wanna kill myself. All you have to do is check for signal on it. That's it. Before you pull the jumper wires JUST CHECK WITH YOUR JDSU. I'M TALKING TO YOU GREG, I KNOW YOU WERE WORKING ON THAT NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE I KNOW YOU STOLE MY CUSTOMER'S PAIR!

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>be me
>be in class, everyone is using computers
>on chrome
>some fucking kid yells out "WHAT THE HECK"
>thing wasn't responding so the "he's dead, jim!" page came up
>he's like "somethings wrong with this computer"
>crowd gathers around him, everyone's so confused as I'm sitting in the corner going "oh my fucking god you fucking imbeciles"
>try telling him what happened, he's like "NO SOME THING IS WRONG"
>teacher just goes fuck it and gets him a new computer

>>55905737
Moar pls

>>55906453
> various reasons

There were a lot of things wrong with those people. This is just one of them.

Go to >>/r9k/. They were that tier of people.

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>Brother in law is after a new desktop for light video editing and movies so needs a lot of space
>Recommend him to just build one if he wants a lot of storage
>2 weeks later I get a call to come around for dinner
>Get there and see boxes
>FX 8350, 16Gb ram, 6x4TB Seagate hard drives
>750 Ti
>Full tower ricer case
>Begin helping him assemble it
>Micro ATX mobo
>not enough SATA ports
>Whip down and buy a 990FX board for him
>Assemble it all
>get it all running
>tell him to just return that micro atx mobo and just give me the money whenever
>2 weeks later 3 of the seagate 4TB hard drives have died
>he tells me hes not giving me the money for the mobo since i killed 3 of his hard drives
>read up and find out seagate sold shit external hard drives as "quality internal hard drives that are meant for running 24/7"
>brother in law wont have any of it
>get a friend that works in data recovery to retrieve data from drives for free
>end up having to put all it on my NAS
>brother in law asks to borrow NAS to transfer it to his
>set it all up for him to begin transferring the data
>come back in the morning
>somehow he fucked it all up and wrote over the raid config in the nas
>wtf
>he got all his data then fucked the NAS
>speak to friend and get him to try recover the NAS
>takes him a month
>get most of it back finally
>"sorry bro cant do this for free its a huge job... can give u discount tho"

Brother in law cost me thousands of dollars.

>>55906512
I can and have ordered pizzas from my Linux system.

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>>55906671
>helping relatives with anything IT related ever

don't even bother to select

>>55906671
Never offer help for free.

>>55906671
>>55906671
That is why we don't speak to our families.

>>55905708
Eh Toshiba is pretty reliable, and so far so good.
>it was £150 for a versatile hybrid that let's me do my work and wank in comfort
>my back is not kill from carrying it
>what else does a student need

>PSP 1000
Oh boy mine survived getting thrown across tiles and a decade later its on cfw still saving my bored ass on long trips. I wish there were more wonderful devices in the world like the PSP 1000.

>>55906671
Should have said the data recovery cost and charged him the same price as the 990fx board.

>>55906743
>me
This device is a goddess. I personally like it's IR remote feature to kill TVs or so called "apache"s' car "speaker" systems that are in full volume when they fuck my head. They are a lot in Turkey. I also like how Sony made a full PS1 emu for this device and used it but never (but once time) used it's PS2 variation.

>>55906048
>>55906075
At my community college there are four required Cisco classes for CS degrees. It really isn't useful to know? I wondered about that.

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>be in class, teacher left the room to do something
>dumbass kids are flipping the computer screen, they didn't even know the keys they were pressing
>fucking idiots get the screen stuck upside down
>try flipping it for them
>fucking retards won't let me touch their computers
>"alright then, suck a dick"
>leave them be and go back to my computer
>teacher comes in and yells at them
stupid cunts

>>55906544
>strip down to 9micro
Lost it here m8 holy fugg. Some dank teacher you got for that.

>>55902222
I dont believe this. No one would be that brash and intrusive to take another persons pc without there approval.

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>>55907101
>>55907101
COUGH COUGHH.. Are you new?
Check >>55905746

>>55905628
Old people

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>be me
>wear black leather trenchcoat and dr martens, and fingerless black gloves
>walk into bank, sit in some chair
>pull out my heavy thinkpad
>boot kali linux
>start tmux and open different panes
>cmatrix
>tcpdump in monitor mode
>top
>hacker typer
>all in lime green
>banner "SUPER 1337 BANK H4XX1NG V I R U S EXPLOIT" in big red ascii art
>crack my fingers
>put on balaclava
>start typing like a madman on hackertyper
>cop walks in on me
>sir I'm going to ask you to get out
WTF, I was doing some important work, I'm a legit programmer and they just kicked me out like that

>back in the day when Roblox had major exploits
>get called a hacker if I play normally
>people will take a while if ever to realise something's wrong when I've "hacked" (script kiddy'd) in angel wings letting me fly around while I blow everything to pieces with artillery

>>55908430
>Roblox

Those were the days

>>55908439
It'd be neat if something was made in the same spirit as the original Roblox: that is, the only platform which was powerful enough to allow pretty much any game to be made but easy enough to make the unpaid one-man creation of even rather advanced games to be realistic.

Would've been amazing if they didn't make it impossible to find barely-known games, and allowed age-appropriate programming languages that more than 0.01% of the players would even touch.
Something like Stencyl? That'd work fine and should be fast enough.
Lua using things like matrices? No.

>>55904230
>>55905597
It's on his bandcamp.

>>55908361
>InternetRenaissance

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>Bored in class
>Type in

fortune | cowsay | lolcat

on terminal repeatedly
>Classmate asks what I'm doing
HACKED

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>>55906248
>AH WUZ

>>55902134
>mothers laptop gets an downgrade to win 10
>persuade her to use linux
>after some arguments she agrees
>install Kubuntu, LUKS, setup so that it works
>clean out dust, reapply paste
>laptop runs smoother and cooler, also video problems solved because no drivers (nvidia+intel)
>weeks forward, problem appears
>screen won't stay on if hdmi is disconnected
>try to troubleshoot it, cant find out why
>want to take it with me home for better testing
>"No anon, dont worry, i can use my phone. Concentrate yourself on your studies."
>ok, whatever
>next weekend, still cant find problem
>father who is programer suggests to reinstall everything (he owns a mac and doesnt use linux)
>say that reinstalling root partition should be enough, install centos, problem still present
>have to go home, mother says i should not worry again
>two weeks passes
>arrive at their home
>"anon, your father fixed it"
>he reinstalled ubuntu by wiping the whole disk, problem came from kde so gnome solved it
>no luks, no openvpn, firefox with bloat

>>55908991
>fortune | cowsay | lolcat
Do you watch hak5?
They did an episode on stupid shit like this.
also
>autism

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>>55908991
>>55909056
both of you

>>55905996
Basic stuff on linux is just as easy as on windows.

>>55902134
>jailbreak 4s
>put a animated backdrop on iphone to make it look edgy
>4 years later your cousins are still amazed you could do that on a iphone.

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>be in art class
>have to make a presentation about a band and burn it on a CD (don't ask why)
>teacher didn't know how to burn a CD
>I told him I knew, showed him and helped the other kids in my class
>mfw get to miss all my classes to teach the students how to burn a CD
>tfw get known as the technology guy at school

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>old guy at work tells me he deleted a folder full of pictures by accident, cant find it in the recycle bin
>asks me if I can help him
>say yes
>asks me for my price
>say 200 expecting to be haggled down
>he says ok
>run photorec on the drive and spend fifteen minutes sorting the results
>mfw

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>>55909630

>>55905005
Nice quads

>>55909725
That's nothing. I got 5555 today.

>>55909728
Nice one

>Old shitty computer my dad bought for me ages ago
>shitty mobo, shitty processor, shitty PSU
>300 USD for the parts
>literally would not POST if more than one hard drive was plugged in
>Tried everything, couldn't fix it
>Get bigger hard drive but some old games on old hard drive, lost CDs, no way to back them up, just swap the drives when I want to play them
>Leave for college, get new computer
>Tell siblings that you can't plug both in at the same time before I leave
>2 months pass, brother calls
>>So anon, I was trying to boot the computer with both hard drives plugged in
>mfw
>>You know what's weird though?
>>When I turn it on and unplug one hard drive, the computer boots
>With the computer on, he was yanking the power cable from the drives
>Multiple times
>WITH THE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING
>Tell him to touch nothing, come home next weekend
>One drive has a burnt motor, the other has a fried board
>Lost everything
You can't make this shit up.

>>55906152
Is it possible to mod Skyrim with WINE?

>>55902549
>friend of a friend asks me why I don't use spotify
>tell him youtube is free, has no ads and works for me since all the music I listen to is on there or on bandcamp/soundcloud
>he gets visibly upset and says youtube's mobile app doesn't allow background listening
>tell him I use a third party app that just werks
>he gets even more visibly upset and calls me poor
I wasn't even being smug or anything. The kicker was that he lives on NEETbux while I have a job.

>anon worries me, he's doing god knows what with those computesr, its not normal, its not healrthy, why doenst he get a better hobby and play outside or something?

>>55905032
>business grandma
Whats that?

>>55904847
>>55904952
Have you ever thought prefer what theyre already familiar with? Windows/Mac OS does everything for them. Normies dont give a shit about customobility and CERTAINLY dont give a shit about virtual freedom.

>>55909056
So... I see your mother's running gnome. You were a KDE man yourself

>>55906850
>Community college
Maybe there it is. But on Uni, its fucking bullshit.

BestThreadEver_KekedSoHard.exe

>>55902270
Please tell me you're joking and actually not this autistic.

>>55911505
That's the joke, anon

>>55902549
>pandora
Isn't that the streaming service that only lets you skip a certain number of songs per day? Why the fuck do people use it

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Don't know if this counts but:
>10th grade, doing CS GCSE
>We're given a project worth ~70% of our grade
>Teacher eases us into programming, encryption, and animation very well
>My project is going well, have a graphical menu select going
11th grade starts
>"Sorry guys but we had to change exam boards"
>Turns out he was teaching us the GCSE when we were supposed to take the IGCSE
>We fuck around doing nothing but CodeAcademy for a year because the project we spent a year on wasn't worth shit
>2 weeks before the exam we get a shitty print-out of the textbooks
>speedread the whole thing, probably spent less than 2 hours total studying
>mfw exam was so obscenely easy it killed off my interest in tech (literally a flow-chart, binary numbers and a few questions on touch screens)
>some guy in my class got the highest grade in our region
Fucking high school Computer Science doesn't teach you jack shit, took up Engineering because of it

>>55906606
you in 6th or 7th grade?

>>55909954
assuming the drives are sata 1.0 at least they are plug and play.
you can take out power and data connection while they are running no problem.
if they were ide drives well. lets say getting your data erased is the least of your problem.

>mom wants to show me a dog on the local animal shelter's site
>opens IE
>clicks in Google toolbar and searches "google.com" from there
>clicks link to google.com in results page
>searches "localshelterwebsite.com"
>clicks link to the site in results page

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I was that person last night.

>coming back from ChinkLand
>have jetlag, was awake for more than a day and counting
>been trying to fix my computer for about 4 months now (but replacement parts came after I flew out), just want to get it over with
>unpack, shower, immediately start assembling
>screw, plug, route cables
>all done
or so I thought.
>turn on computer
>boots up, turns off, then boots up again
>replug in cables
>still not booting
>spend an hour just consulting videos and pictures, trying to see if anything's unplugged
>nothing seems out of the ordinary
>friend suggests I replug the components like processor, RAM, etc.
>turns out I didn't completely plug in heatsink and RAM, so loose they were about to fall out
>"fuck I'm stupid"
>now it should work, right?
haha no
>now the computer can't see a hard drive is plugged in
>spend 30 minutes replacing and replugging the SATA cables
>finally decide to look at a tutorial
>forgot to plug in the hard drive power cable
>finally boots

Relevant image, that's how I felt the whole time

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>finally convince friend to use linux after months of badgering
>tell him to install Ubuntu
>installs it
>DE doesn't even work because his hardware isn't supported with defaults
>FUCK THIS ANON, LINUX FUCKING SUCKS I'M GOING BACK TO WINDOWS

FCUKING LOONUX GET YOUR SHITY TOGETHER, NOW HE'S NEVER GOING TO TRY IT AGAIN

>>55912757
Linux doesn't care.
About market share.

>>55910703
>friends always ask why I don't use spotify
>have thousands of hours of flacs
>use mpd + icecast to stream music in high bitrate opus to everything I own
>basically running my own spotify
>they just think I NEVER listen to music

>anon the phone is asking for my password again
>this is your email mom
>are you logging into your email?
>I was going to check it
>then you need to log in

>come play pokemon go with me
>ok
>oh this is a mean one it won't go in the ball
>well you missed it
>NO I DIDN'T MISS IT KNOCKED THE BALL AWAY
>the ball went over it's head
>FINE YOU DO IT
>ok
>here I caught it
>well aren't you a fucking know it all
>I wasn't saying you couldn't do it mom I was giving you some advice
>no you're making me nervous and mess up its all your fault

>anon a box came up
>ANON WAKE UP A BOX CAME UP
>what?
>THERE IS A BOX ON THE COMPUTER GET DOWN HERE NOW
>ok, ok let me put some pants on... hold on
>GET DOWN HERE NOW
>i'm here, I'm here
>what happened, why is this here, I didn't do anything
>it's just asking about java hit cancel, i told you this mom come on
>why can't you just come down when i ask you why is it so hard for you to help me
>i'm sorry, its ok now alright?
>whatever, go plug in my wire for the laptop
>ok mom

>be me in my IT shop internship
>anon, you have this this and this to do today
>k
>one of the jobs was simply installing win7 on a laptop along with some basic programs and a G-Data antivirus for the customer
>fast forward a couple days
>anon, a client just called, mind going over to his house?
>k
>anon, wtf is going on i have errors
>shit load of torrents, weird ass programs, toolbars and fishy as fuck websites, also got more 2 antivirus than the one i had installed
>anon, are you feeling hot, wanna take ur shirt off?
>n-no thanks
>promptly clean all of his bloatware and junk
>hey sir, you have like 3 antiviruses im gonna delete 2 of them
>delete this one, looks ugly as fuck
>he paid like 55€ for this, i tell him that
>i dont care
>...ok then, ill delete it and 1 more
>hearing stories of his life, typical stuff
>about to leave
>anon do you enjoy paintings?
>hum, i kinda do
>take this one, its from a young lass i fucked once and she gifted it to me
>k
>goes back to it shop with painting
>i got a gift, gonna go home to put it there
>why not leave it at the store anon?
>its my gift, gtfo

>>55904480
Every alt to msword is shit

My family:
>Bug with grandpa antivirus
>My mother reinstalls it
>Works
>>My fault until mum fixes it
>Faulty ISP cable
>Have no internet
>"Anon you messed up with the internet ?"
>>My fault until isp dude repaired it
>Bug with some kind of internet tv server at the ISP network base (don't know how it's called)
>Internet tv doesn't work for more than one month
>"Anon watdidudu with your strawberry pi ? you broke the tv"
>>My fault until the ISP bloke repaired it.

My whole family is tech illiterate, even my mother who used to work with computers and do programming and stuff

>>55913150
/thread

>>55913151
They need someone to blame it on. Even when it is their fault.

>>55905787
Kek. It' impossibile for tech illiterate people to read before click next. I like when they blame windows because of bloatware and then they buy a Mac and they install "Mac Cleaner"

>>55905737
Sounds like my old school in Florida. Graduated before they made people buy ipads

>>55902270
Most people can't be convinced to change their opinions during an argument. This is the thing autists (literally) don't understand. Curb-stomping them in logical arguments is just going to make them dislike you. You have to use subtlety and suggestion to get them to reach the conclusions themselves.

>>55902548
Personally I would rank you a faggot.

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>>55913087
>its my gift, gtfo

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>>55913014
Does your mum look like this?

>>55905588
Triple dubs

>>55902270
Linux is shit for normies, it doesn't even plug and play most devices and it can't play any games. Why the fuck do you think normies would change to it just because "muh freedom"?

>>55914612
I just wanted friends like me...

>>55905746
You are not sorry you fucking fuck. Ban yourself for posting this.

>>55902222
This is definitely based off of a greentext where anon says he worked for his laptop, then his sister tried to use it and said it was broken to her mother, then her mother brings it to a computer store where they install windows and a bunch of bloatware, and finally refuses to allow anon to get it back.
I'm sure you could find it in a /g/ cringe thread at the archive. I CBA to do it.
No points for originality.

>>55913087
>its my gift, gtfo
jej

>>55906047
>Camo T-Shirt
>Shaved Head
Fuck, long leather coats are only acceptable if you actually go full romantic goth or bondage.

>>55911576
Personally I use it because I don't want to have to spend time making a playlist, and then constantly adding stuff to it. Pandora's recommendation engine is pretty good at finding songs that are similar to ones that I like.

>>55913350
This (You) made me smile for some reason, thanks anon!

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>"Anon my laptop is slow"
>Laptop had at least five antiviruses, filled to the brim with Trojans
>spend hours cleaning it all
>install new antivirus
>Tell them to only use that antivirus and to use it often, to ask about programs they're going to install, etc

One week later

>"Anon my laptop is slow again"
>Kaspersky and McAfee installed again
> Fast YouTube Downloader icon on desktop
>"Everything" process running

MFW

>>55910451
Oh yeah. Mine was heavily modded. I ran it from Steam.

>>55917299
>spend hours cleaning it all
Set up dropbox to sync documents and then just reimage that shit every time

>>55912536
5th grade :^)

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>>55917487
You even bother doing that ?

You wont get any credit for being the Nice Computer Guy.

Not to mention that you wont get laid either.

>>55902548
> Ranking an OS with a computer and then another OS.

Here on /g/, where people pretend to know technology because they use Linux as their OS and do nothing but shitpost.

>>55905005

>be yurofag
>go four hours without pleasuring a Somalian or Syrian immigrant with your mouth
>get arrested for being intolerant

>>55910703
But doesn't youtube (even in background) consume a lot of data?

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>>55913087
>be me
who else would you be?

>>55904446
where's the helicopter?

>>55913014
How can you keep up like this? Run and never look back (jk but you should solve this issue)

>>55913150
Msword is shit, you should be using a proper document preparation system.

But because of the ubiquity of ms products you need to be able to read .docx etc hence the alternatives

>>55918523
I'll have you know that in response to the plight of our fellow men (and women :^)) fleeing the devastation in their homelands, I've begun to empathise heavily with the Syrian refugees. Rather than merely being me, I'd like you all to see me as Abdul Al'Hazred, fresh off the boat from the ISIS training camps.

Check your privilege, single-personality scum, or I'll tell my headmates.

>>55902134
>U USE KEYBOARD INSTEAD OF PRESSING TAB
Pretty sure Tab is on the keyboard.

>>55918523
newfaggiest of the newfags
>no srsly, go die

>>55902735
This is why you always ask for a budget first and foremost, then ask what they want to do with it.

Get them the most powerful thing they're willing to pay for, and tailor it to what they say, so it'll still do basically everything.

>>55904853
People often forget that Blender contains a more or less fully-featured Non-Linear video editor that can do node-based color correction and compositing and shit

>>55905737
Sounds like the school I worked at

>>55906495
I've never done DSL service specifically but I can tell you from years of doing tech support that if you let the guy know you understand and you appreciate him coming out and getting everything in order that's usually enough. In that kinda industry you get blamed for fucking everything and having someone know the bullshit is a real relief

all you kids who were know as the 'hacker' in school, i wish i had that. I had the exact opposite
>conversation comes up about what OS we use
>rich private school, everyone uses macs and some use windows for gaymen
>conversation turns to me
>'I use (gnu/)linux'
>haha no wtf anon you dont use leenucks ur not a hacker
>time passes
>bring laptop to school
>boot up linux and start typing in terminal to take notes and organize files
>"friend" looks over
>'lol anon stop being a tryhard and typing shit in da terminal, we know you have no idea wtf ur doing'
>get mad
>later
>'hey anon, come here and """hack""" my coputer lol'
>ill show this fuck
>forkbomb.sh
>'wtf anon why did u do that its frozen now'
he still thinks im a tryhard who actually uses windows and just types random shit in my terminal during class

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>>55919845
what does forkbomb actually do

>>55920007
it creates a process that keeps creating itself until there are so many processes logarithmically creating more processes that the computer slows down and freezes

my job requires that i go to your fucking grandmas house and wire up her AT&T modem to the Dmark in the basement then reprogram her stupid alarm system then explain to her how it works and answer any and all tech related questions while the company i work for bills her for every 15 minute interval after the first 15 minutes at a rate of 72$ per 15 minutes
on top of that we charge a service fee of $54 just to show up

so grandma has me at her house for 3 hours doing all the shit you lazy fucks couldnt be bothered to do while i shoot the shit with her and work casually and it ends up costing the poor old woman at least over $300 if its over an hour and if its 30 min or so its around $120

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>>55902270

>>55904528
Or lazy

>>55917675
MODS MODS

>>55904446
thats actually funny as shit. I was just learning formatting/mounting in terminal (obviously im a linux noob)

>>55905777
New paperwhite cant be uncucked anymore..

>>55906437
im in the process of converting my gf. lucky for me she's not a fucking retard so it's not too bad.

>>55902222
checked, enjoy your (you)

>>55903842
correct "nihoneese" would be "Senpai wa baka desu"

>>55905640
FIND OUT

>>55918300
You know full well 'mac' was referring to OSX,

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>>55914679
>I'm sure you could find it in a /g/ cringe thread at the archive. I CBA to do it.
I've got you covered, lad.

>>55920082
Exponential

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>>55906879
Happened to me once.
I had no idea what button I pressed, so I just started trying a bunch of different buttons until it went back to normal.
Fuck that was scary.

>>55918508
So does spotify.

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>>55902134
>Earlier this week
>Father's having difficulty with Windows 10: start menu refuses to work
>Wants to open Word
>After hours of faffing about, he asks the local IT student (my mother) for assistance
>She's on the machine for a few minutes
>Accidentally uninstalls Word
>mfw it's nonchalantly mentioned at the dinner table later in the day
Thankfully, he's got various versions of Word installed on his machine so it's now running the '07 version rather than '10.
I've been at it since but haven't figured out what's wrong with the bloody thing or how to fix it.

>All these stories about tech-illiterate parents
I'm sure fucking glad my parents are decent enough to browse the internet to find their problems, but you guys, assuming you are independent adults, need to start raising your parents now. It's not disrespectful to inform them and tell them they're wrong if you do it nicely.

>>55909954
Hope you had backups.

>>55902270
when you install linux there should be a big fucking message all over the screen flashing saying "press OK to begin social therapy for 1 month now and install linux, press cancel to not install linux"

>>55905372
Fucking this. I make my own life so difficult dealing with these fucks

>>55906182
>Where can you get them.
Ebay, used.
Got mine for free when a local school was throwing away their old computers.

>>55902134

>neighbour decide to use computer when i'm not home

What?

>>55922248
Lucky bastard.

>>55905236
>she's on a nude site somewhere, my eyes are still burned with those horrid images.

Links?

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>>55902134
>be me
>everyone in my family knows im the "guy thats good with computers"
>grandma tells everyone at her church i can fix computers
>one of grandmas friends wants me to fix their computer
>they offer me $30 so why not
>i go to their house to check it out
>its an old dell desktop pc running vista
>boot it up
>it takes 20 minutes to boot from all the viruses and malware installed
>finally completes the boot
>open IE
>3rd party toolbars everywhere
>i finally get to malware bytes website and download the exe
>the malware on the machine has been programmed to block the installation
>try to download AVG
>blocked
>tell them i need to reinstall vista
>they tell me they lost the disc
>there is no key to install it
>tell them they should consider buying windows 7 or 8
>they dont want to spend anymore money
>tell them i can install Linux for free
>Linux? whats that? can it do facebook?
>Doesn't matter, Yes it can do facebook
>ok install that anon
>i install Kubuntu 14.04 because it's most like windows
>put firefox icon on desktop and facebook.com in the bookmark bar
>they use it for about a week without any problems
>they go out of town for vacation for a week
>they shut down the computer but KDE hits a bug and gets hung on shutdown
>they don't notice
>they close the computer cabinet
>turn off all appliances and air conditioning
>they go on vacation
>one week passes and they return home
>open up cabinet
>smells like burnt plastic
>computer wont turn on
>the call me, anon what is wrong with our PC it wont startup
>i come to their house
>survey the damage
>open the case
>CPU is cooked
>didn't have the heart to tell them Linux killed their PC
>i tell them it was just old and worn out
>tfw Linux killed their PC

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>>55922391
If you read any further down my responses, her account is since gone/shut down and every drive that contained it is nuked/bricked from my various overwrites.

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>>55905746
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

PLEASE TELL ME IT'S BULLSHIT.

>>55905013
Go to /mu/ and listen to everything they say is goat, then you will at least know what you don't like, and be able to use this in future conversations about music.

>>55905032
>business grandma
what did he mean by this?

>>55905032
>tech mom
what did he mean by this?

>>55907292
>COUGH COUGHH.. Are you new?
>*teleports behind you*
>It's nothing personnel kid.

Fuck off.

>>55921258
Windows 10's explorer on launch was a sodding mess, but usually restarting the computer, or just the process fixed it for me, I imagine you tried and it didn't worked tho.

Beware the Tech Iliterate grandma.

> Anon the internet isnt werking
> literally just connect to the wifi
> why didn't it work for me?
> alway have this assumption that everything they do is never wrong and expect you to fix everything exactly hey they want it, even if it's not literally possible
Also, be careful what you find.
> Playing around with Nan's Ipad
> Million app syndrome. Mostly freemium pokies machine games
> close them all. Decide to check out YouTube
> have a thought, go to viewed videos history
> everything normal, mostly recipe and cooking vids
> start scrolling and run to other room when I realise what's there
> am almost sick
> watch in horror as I keep scrolling - transfixed, I was unable toook away
> hundreds upon hundreds of animal sex videos, big Dick horse Fucking, dogs sex, pig breeding, etc etc.
> also included a lot of naked African tribal stuff.
> I can never interact with my grandma the same way ever again.

>>55914679
1
2
3 4

>Mom's computer illiterate enough that she can't even copy and paste text without my help.
>still humble enough not to blame me for her fuck ups
>tries her best to do things the way I teach her to.

Oh well.

>>55922403
Kek.

But that's why you use mate instead, for realsies.

>>55906671
i don't see how a computer retard could do that
physical destruction? sure, but logical? to a system they wouldn't have so much as root access to? i'm sceptical

>>55923281
what did he mean by this?

>>55909581
when was this? since windows XP you've been able to just drag/drop and click burn, don't even need any authoring software

>>55905013
holy fuck,i agree.
my dad sells computer and all these guys working offices and shit want like core i3/i5/i7 when literally all they do is manage spreadsheets.they dont even care about the clock rate,they just want a i3/5/7

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>>55904480
>they're working on it
>"they'll improve a lot in the next version"

>>55905005
The guy you replied to was clearly not American.

>>55902134
my family is in the other room screaming and hitting shit because I changed the wifi password

my mother is literally screaming in my face right now what do I do /g/

>>55923690
im fucking shaking the entite house is screaming at me because they cant copy the password

>>55923486

retard probably pulled the drives out and plugged it into the rig to transfer things faster, windows probably detected it as unallocated space since the drive was part of a raid on another system so wiped/formatted the drive

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>>55923690
>>55923703

>changed it to i'm2andwhatisthis

>>55923690
>my mother is literally screaming in my face right now what do I do /g/
How about talk to her, instead of typing messages on a Swahili shaman forum asking for advice about how to address someone who is probably looking over your shoulder right now, you damn sperglord.

Also, hi anon's mum! Kids, eh?

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>Lend Thinkpad X220 to a friend for college since their Macbook Air burned down
>2 months go by and I remember having lent them my Thinkpad X220
>Ask them about it
>"Oh I traded it in to cover the costs of the Macbook repairs, I didn't know you wanted it back"
>Friend traded in an almost brand new X220 in 2012 that still retailed for $800+
>To cover the costs of a 2008 Macbook Air that you could buy 2nd hand for $400 and even then that was atrociously overpriced since these 2008 Macbooks were so awful pretty much every repair shop refuses to repair them.
>2 months go by and the Macbook Air dies again
>Friend buys Macbook Pro
>Overheats, video dies
>AMD GPU on it needs to be reballed
>Gets it reballed 3 times over the cost of a year
>Now has a cheap Asus Chromebook
>$200
>Friend complains about how "cheap" it feels
>"It will probably fall apart on me in a month"

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>>55923866

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I bought some upgrades this weekend. I know it's overkill but just wanted to make sure it all werk'd.

Oh and sometimes I click the captcha before selecting a file to upload

>>55917299
This is why we need iPhones.
For all the walled garden complaints people may bring up, some people just can't be trusted with their own devices.

>>55923818
she just kept screaming until i completely broke down. she doesn't love me, and i can't figure out what I did

>have a high school computer teacher (an english teacher who sat in the back, read, and taught nothing)
>get pulled aside by her along with 3 other students
>get accused of cheating
>Ask her why she thinks we are
>"On the most recent assignment, all 4 of your projects were completely identical."
>IT WAS FUCKING A JAVA HELLO WORLD

>>55923992
You changed the password. Why would you do that?!

>>55923923
>chink housefire edition psu

>>55923986
>muh walled garden
Windows is also a walled garden until you learn what the registry is. you're just an ignorant UNIX noob