*BANG BOOM CRASH* "Freeze let me see your hands!"

>>55892529
I use the Cloud

Not worry since I encrypt, then worry since Im still memorizing a diceware password.

File: 1420242840976.jpg (7KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 300x168px

>>55892537
>I use the Cloud

>>55892529
Shove the hard drive up my ass and tell the fuzz to come get it

>>55892558
It's heavily encrypted and can only be accessed with my email and password, which is extremely secure.

What's wrong with that?

File: 1463078451357.jpg (32KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 500x500px

>>55892569

Im not a pedo and I dont pirate shit so come at me faglords

>>55892529
All I have is encrypted and the pass is written in an edible paper under my desk.

*boom CRASH*
*rumble rumble*
*crack crack*

Clatter, crash, clack!
Racket, bang, thump!
Rattle, clang, crack, thud, whack, bam!

Jokes on them I have an ssd

>>55892605
Are there inedible types of paper?

>>55892529
>SWAT team doesn't call me a fucko
not intimidated desu

>>55892529
>close Macbook lid with my elbow
>"Woops."
>have friendly bantz
>don't get shoot because I white and this isn't Murica

>>55892812
Not if you're determined enough

freeze myself apparently

*pulls down pants*
hello officer, i heard you were looking for a hard drive

dd bs=1M count=1 if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/sda; poweroff -f

>>55892529
Am I being detained?

You see the thing is, unlike you fucking pedophile autists, I am a law abiding citizen. I trust the the LEA is trained and will respectfully search my property, with a warrant of course.

>>55892529
be scared they find my pics of kpop idols and lewd anime/hentai, and maybe some of my fallout and skyrim lewd mods

>>55892529
Have an electromagnet nearby.

>>55892529
>have contraption to pour petroleum jelly into case
>pull string and bucket tips while spinning a wheel
>wheel has matches on it
>pc is now on fire and slippery as fuck
Recover my data now, bitches.

>>55892529
empty colon into pants

>>55893034
What's there to be so scared of?? :P

File: 1456310031356.jpg (158KB, 720x480px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 720x480px

>my hard disk is encrypted with LUKS
>obey the officers
>pc self destruct sequence initiates
>acid filled fedoras rain down on the swat team
>pc starts blasting yung lean throughout my house
>the normies ears explode
>hack the NSA using my sick mr. Robot mask
>connect to NSA illuminati sound system
>blast desu music across the planet
>truly the end of the world
>repopulate the world with yung lean's children

A e s t h e t i c

File: 1419420217513.jpg (31KB, 468x423px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 468x423px

>>55892529
THe worst thing that I have on my HDD is a dog licking some dudes dick in slow-motion and they can't do shit about it

>>55892547
https://xkcd.com/538/

>>55893048
N S A B O Y S

File: security.png (26KB, 448x274px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 448x274px

>>55892547
You and pretty much everyone else ITT delusional as shit

>>55893070
Wow dude way to steal my post fucking off yourself

>>55892876
you forgot sudo

>>55893139
>not just using su

>>55893003
>Sir, we've managed to recover the platters.
>Great, get out the Electron Microscope
2 days later
>receive subpoena

File: 1455610305203.png (519KB, 1023x708px) Image search: [Google]

519KB, 1023x708px

>>55893048
lol

Strip and smear petroleum jelly all over my body and plea insanity

Activate the trapdoor into the viper pit of course

File: Format your HDDs fast.webm (2MB, 470x270px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 470x270px

>>55892529

Before they knock down my door.

>>55893439
>hillaryclintongetsraided.webm

>>55893139
I use root terminal, pleb.

File: 29287102Pizza.png (391KB, 514x386px) Image search: [Google]

391KB, 514x386px

>>55892604
He thinks he's better than us

File: 1457165650211.png (149KB, 417x405px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 417x405px

>>55893497
>uses root terminal
>calls others plebs

>>55892529
Does anyone others aussie know what our laws are?
What was that copypasta about small breasts is considered underage here?

File: 22837FBI.png (326KB, 430x423px) Image search: [Google]

326KB, 430x423px

>>55892529

>>55893497
good for you

>>55892529
Funny, I just finished secure wiping my drive for the first time and now this thread.
>Go right ahead officer, I have everything to hide

>>55893439
> not post the weeb version

flip switch. ground to hdd and ssd are now -12v.

got nothing to hide. just wanted to fry my shit.

>>55893621

do you have it?

>>55892814
*bzzzzz*
Huh... Yeah, good luck with that

>>55893663
Only a sfw form /f/ long time ago

>>55892529
I'd mostly comply, since I'm a German in Germany, nothing really ugly to expect.
Besides, all my drives contain nothing but boring shit anyway

>be free inhabitant
>enjoy all rights of united states citizens
>be subject to none of their obligations
>cant be forced to follow any of the laws

>>55893718
that's my favourite meme, post it again

File: 1469800202604.jpg (26KB, 640x321px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 640x321px

>>55893718
> people are actually this retarded.

>>55893740
ok

>be free inhabitant
>enjoy all rights of united states citizens
>be subject to none of their obligations
>cant be forced to follow any of the laws

Hard drive on one side of my head, gun on the other.

>>55892529
>>55892529

pop in nuke-boot floppy and hit the restart button on the tower.

File: 1431366870979.png (246KB, 550x569px) Image search: [Google]

246KB, 550x569px

>>55893771
>owning a floppy drive

Cooperate and hand over the drives. They're encrypted anyway.

>have nothing to hide
>no problem

that was easy. what are you hiding in that encrypted hdd anon?

File: 100 percent jelly.png (12KB, 422x410px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 422x410px

>>55893776

jelly?

>pic related, its you.

>>55893800
wow man I thought I was right but it turned out I was wrong
like I wasnt expecting that
really made me think there pal

>write password on piece of paper
>set it next to computer
>eat paper when teh time comes
>claim in court that the paper got lost
>only way you could remember the password

you didn't hear this from me though :^)

>>55893796
They aren't encrypted, I just stored terabits of entropy for future reference

>>55893815
A court can't order you to provide incriminating verbal evidence anyway.

File: 1466461944029.jpg (20KB, 192x187px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 192x187px

>>55893049
How's Canada this time of year?

>>55893815
>get detained until you shit the paper out again

You see the thing is, unlike you fucking pedophile autists, I am a law abiding citizen. I trust the the LEA is trained and will respectfully search my property, with a warrant of course.

>>55893868

>has no idea how the digestive system in the human body works.

>>55892529
>no fucko

>>55893663
Here, https://youtu.be/Ex4LNBtkkWU

>>55893868
I don't think paper works like that

>>55893868
are you implying he'll be detained

while(1)

?

What type of shit do you guys have on there?

>>55893903

so much fucking porn it would take years to sort it.

>>55893970
>he hasnt written automated porn sorting algorithms
pleb. Simply pleb.

>>55894017

>implying such things even exist

>>55894031
How do you think porn sites work?

>>55894041

the uploader classifies it as its being processed. full manual sorting.

>>55892529
>bump to unplug tales flashdrive on my way to put my hands up
>automatically destroys all traces
>smile with hands up

>press the button under my thumb on the mouse
>containers automatically unmount and encrypt

your move

>>55893088
m8, you 'stole' it from xkcd. Calm your bearded tits.

>>55892529
>he doesn't know the /fucko/ format
fucking newfag

File: Vertex_2_Solid_State_Drive_by_OCZ-top_oblique_PNr°0307.jpg (1MB, 4095x2687px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 4095x2687px

>>55892529
>haha fed cucks don't know I don't use hard drives, but instead superior SSD technology

>>55893718

Sovereign Citizens are literally retarded and need to be executed.

>>55892529
rm -rf

>>55892529
You really don't need to make this thread every day.

boom clap, the sound of my door, the unspecified detainment goes on and on and on ah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOPMlIIg_38

File: feea9346dc40c377f61bc6b94788c9cc.jpg (91KB, 736x836px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 736x836px

tellem

fuck out of here you stupid faggots.

>>55892529
The worst they can see is my pirated Windows/Office/music and many 4chan frog/meme pictures.

>>55892529
*Bum tara did tara did tara did tara did tara did taratad*
*Bum tara did tara did tara did tara did tara did taratad*
They call me cuban pete
Im a king of ruba beat....

Overclock my fermis and jump out the back window

What happened to /fucko/

>>55893048
feelin like a W A R L O R D

>>55892529
*teleports behind each of them and slices their throats in a splitsecond*
You've made a mistake... Trash...

>>55893503
You think he's not

File: tinfoilhat.jpg (414KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

414KB, 1024x768px

>be me
>have all sensitive stuff veracrypted with hidden volumes
>have a "panic" key combination that unmounts them all and logs off
>in an unlikely case of $5 wrench approach, the outer volumes contain some homemade porn featuring me and my gf
>mfw I don't even have anything illegal

>>55895912
Can they take off that hat and put it on later? Or do they need to make a new one?

File: 20160803_042011.jpg (4MB, 5312x2988px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 5312x2988px

Thbis is how you store your used harddrives.

File: 2ec.png (572KB, 600x580px) Image search: [Google]

572KB, 600x580px

>tfw ramdisk

File: 1470075299674.png (521KB, 800x699px) Image search: [Google]

521KB, 800x699px

>>55892569
>the cloud
>encrypted

>>55892529
AM I BEING DETAINED!?

>>55892529

WHERE IS THE WARRANT

>>55892529
>*BANG BOOM CRASH*
>*BANG BOOM CRASH*
>buddy you're a boy make a big noise
>playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day

>>55893173
>implying platters

>>55892558
Alternatively upload encrypted shit to USENET.

File: e20.png (13KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 400x400px

>>55892529

>*HANDS UP"
>Cuffed
>Go to my computer
>No password, go right for files
>First folder: 400GB Mom-son roleplay porn
>Second folder: 30GB Cat pictures
>Third folder: ~1TB hentai
>Fourth folder: Suicide informational material
>Fifth folder: 1.5k Tendie memes
>Uncuff me
>Cuff my parents
>They're charged with child neglect
>mfw I'm 27

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called “Linux”, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project. There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use.
Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine’s resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called “Linux” distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux...

>>55892529
Fucko

File: 31337_h4x0r.jpg (26KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 250x250px

>>55892529
What do you people have on your computer other than /g/ memes that could possibly be of interest to the police?

File: the cloud.png (1MB, 1132x971px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1132x971px

>>55892569

File: 3.png (2MB, 895x1119px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 895x1119px

I AM A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN, THIS IS MY OWN PRIVATE DOMICILE AND I WILL NOT BE HARASSED

>>55892529
the wonders of living in a third world country, as long as I don't fuck with the mpaa i can sleep peacefully at night

>>55899093
BITCH

>>55893061
>>55893070
back 2 leddit

>>55895709
Here is your (You) you fucking edge Lord

>>55899093

THICCC

i have nothing to hide

>>55892529
I have a gun on my desk. I'd just shoot my PC until the magazine was empty.

This is why I have a secret button under a table somewhere in my house that will smash up my drive, like those bank security buttons during robbery you see in movies.

>>55892833
pretty much this

>>55892837
I fucking kek'd

>>55893439
what movie is this from?

>>55893439
what movie is this?

>>55892529

>I-i swear I don't rememeber the password the full disk encrpytion mr. squad sir

>>55900354
>>55900323

Looks like The Core

>>55894110
There could still be data on the RAM sticks if they got to it fast enough and if the sticks are cold enough.

>>55892529
You forgot "fucko"

>>55892529
"It ain't me" starts playing

>>55896069
What is that?

>>55898498

This is what I came here to shit up the thread with

>>55900434
This

NSA would have a can of butane on hand to do a cold boot attack

>>55893508
Morty?

File: IMG_20160802_085636_01.jpg (3KB, 250x244px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 250x244px

>>55895562

This is the wrong copypasta

>>55900983
Gotchu covered fampai

>>55893784
https://xkcd.com/538/

>>55892529
nothing

>>55892529
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_x3bcWLFMgk

>>55901014
yea it looks like morty

>>55892936
>kpop
Fucing sicko

File: hqdefault.jpg (16KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 480x360px

>>55892529
dindu nuffin