/fit/ pls help I'm going to see my LDR gf for the first

>>42773637

She's probably too fat for anyone on /fit/ to pick up so I wouldn't worry about it. Women always have unreal expectations...

Have you tried working out?

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>>42773637
Push ups (YouTube proper form) and chin ups. As far as being fat, eat 500 less of you TDEE (Google calculator). Don't cheat and you'll have a chance. Good luck.

>>42773650
I wouldn't describe her as skinny, but she is under 200lbs so definitely liftable by none pussies such as you guys

>>42773637
I really hope this is bait and that pic isn't you

>>42773681

>calls us pussies
>has more breast mass than muscle mass

>>42773681
please god end this thread

6 weeks? you're not going to be able to pick her up or even notice much of a physcial change in 6 weeks lol.

what do you have to work with? gym membership? or are you expecting to gain mass from one of those bodyweight routies?

>>42773677
Thanks senpai I'll definitely do the push ups
I'm not sure I'm over eating though since I weigh 154lbs at 6'2", I'm just fat on my gut for some reason. I often skip meals and even skip eating some days. I'm never hungry and only eat when people tell me to (I'm not a fan of food).

>>42773698
I called you fags, not pussies. Pussies would be weak, but fags love dick. Ain't nothing more manly than fucking another man

>>42773685
Unfortunately that really is me :(

>>42773707
I finished uni and am currently a neet, so I have all the time in the world, and have money laying around for equipment or gym membership etc if needed. Tell me what I need to do and I'll do it

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>>42773733

See >>42773681

You called us pussies. You are a skinnyfat gyno lanklet who can't even find a fatty irl. I'm LMAOing at your life.

>>42773795
Steroids and PPL

>>42773681
She is going to break your disgusting twink body in half faggot

>>42773834
you're special, he called us non pussies

>>42773855

Actually he said none pussies. I thought he either meant we are pussies or we never get laid.

I am pretty special tho. I can do this! Oh ya, you can't see me..

>>42773681
We live in an age where a favorable description of a woman's weight is "less than 200 lbs"

Fucking hell

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>>42773637
>or fuck her during sex

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>>42773885

>>42773874

This post made me sad. I'm going to bed now. Fuck...

>>42773637
SS + GOMAD, usually it's a meme but in your case it would actually help

You're a fucking disgusting mess to look at.

Here's some bodyweight exercises you can do with no gym membership that you need to do

Push ups. Do feet up pushups when you can
Chin ups
Bulgarian split squats, or just normal split squats until you can
Hip thrusts
Chair dips

You could also buy some bands and do a fuckload more. Most important would do curls and tricep extensions to try and gain something on your pipe cleaner arms. Do those with bw exercises.

Don't waste time on situps. You're a fat sack of pregnant looking shit and sit ups won't get you the aesthetics. If you really want to work on your core, do planks as hard as you fucking can. Literally flex as hard as you can. It's much less time consuming and much more effective than the ego planks everyone does. Even you should be able to work up to something from your expecting phase. And do hanging leg raises.

If you do go to the gym, the lat pulldown machine is your best friend since chances are you can't do a single chin up. Any chest machine as well.

You should probably eat the same too. I'm not sure how much it will effect you, but at least any nutrients you gain aren't being used to atrophy the remaining molecules of muscle mass and feed your ever expanding black hole of a stomach. Since you eat like shit anyway, just feed yourself more beef jerky than the chips you eat.

I wouldn't expect much in 6 weeks for the normal man. But cosidering how fucking worthless you look now with literally no upsides, you might actually look a lot better.

call fit fags, literally looks like a twink

wtf america

>>42773637
I'll lift her you bro

>>42773637
I hate when people don't close their fists all the way

I get that he's weak but does he not even know how to flex?

>>42773914
Thanks for the advice friendo
Although I can do pull ups being so light (last time I tried I was going from completely relaxed and hanging to chin over the bar for 30 mins, not taking too long for each), should I do something else other than the lat machine?

>>42773967
I actually don't know how to flex at all, I'm a giant pussy Feelsbadman

Are you supposed to fully clench your fist as if you're going to punch someone?

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>>42773637
>I know you're all fags here
you literally look like a lump of flesh

>>42773993
I don't see how pullups could even be possible for you unless you're a double amputee

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>>42773981
>he thinks pull ups means using the 'lat machine'
jesus christ

>>42773637
Get your lazy ass off the computer and start lifting my man.
If you have the money, hire a trainer and they'll teach you everything you need to know.
Fucking pay them 3-4 times a week for 6 weeks, and maybe you'll look slightly better.
Don't expect quick results, you've done a lot of damage to your body.
Good luck.

>>42774016
H-he said I should use the lat machine since I probably can't do a chin up...

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>>42774033
then you said you could, 'being so light', numb nuts

Guffawing at this fucking thread. you're in a bad state OP. Start with push ups, chin ups, dips, and body weight squats like others have said. Eat at a deficit of 500cal for an attempt at shrinking that starving african pot belly. 6 weeks ain't shit though, so don't expect to look very different

>>42773981
Yes, you should do everything.

If you do to the gym, do a fuckload of pushing exercises on one day. Do a fuckload of pulling exercises on another.

I don't even use machines myself besides legpress via homegym, but if you need to get anywhere in 6 weeks, you probably shouldn't waste time learning proper form.

Good pushing machines are the pec deck, iso incline press and the seated chest press. Throw in cable tricep extensions

Good pulling machines are the lat pulldowns, low seated row and back extension. Also do pullups and curls on this day. Back extensions are so you don't kill yourself trying to pick someone up.


After the 6 weeks you should have enough of something to start doing freeweights without the beginner fear of looking like a complete idiot. Though you should start doing them now, but I'd argue if you're going to build anything in 6 weeks, you're probably better off going straight to machines.

If you actually do stick to anything for those 6 weeks, come back here for a real program. Or just do SS.

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>>42773637

>Cut carbs out of your diet, go for a high protein/medium fat diet (eggs, steak, chicken, protein powder, and UNSWEETENED peanut butter and obligatory veggies) eat at maintenance which for you is probably 1700 calories

>Do an hour of cardio each and every day

Other than this, 6 weeks isn't a whole lot of time to build a muscular foundation but you still need to be lifting or else you will just regress into Auschwitz mode which is just as bad.


Do

>Squats
>deadlifts
>overhead press
>bench press
>Bicep curls
>tricep extensions
>lat pulldowns

It's hard to give a routine to someone who isn't dedicating a lot of time to reach their goals but if you work hard at it you can lose the awkwardness and get a normal looking physique

It would take you at least 12 weeks until you see any difference.

>>42774221

Just thought I would add.. Routine is not mine, another anon posted it here a few days ago and you may get some use out of it but it's definitely designed for someone who wants to dedicate more than 50 days to fitness

>>42774232
Probably even more than that, considering he has 0 muscle mass while he's at least 25% Body fat

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>>42773637
I recommend you get your shit together.

>>42773637
Pushups and chin-ups (everyday), progressively increasing the difficulty if you can't afford a gym membership. Eat 200 under your TDEE. You're not that fat, you just have 0 muscle mass, which is why you look as fat as you do. Your main goal should be building muscle and less about losing weight, but a 200 deficit should be more than enough.

>>42773681
>under 200
So you're saying she's still a fat fuck weighing in at 180 lbs.

>>42773677
>eat 500 calories less than TDEE
>for someone trying to gain strength
Nah m8. Anon what you need to do is heavy chinups, bench, overhead press, and deadlift. Squat maybe

>>42774309
Oh. And eat 10000 calories above TDEE while pinning steroids
Only way desu