>you will never meet rich piana irl it's time guys, I'm

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>you will never meet rich piana irl
damn this is actually true, always thought id come across him at one point in my life

>>42766730
Now you must make a pilgrimage to his burial place

Where is Rich's grave?

>>42766989
Who knows maybe he wanted to be cremated

>tfw you will never get slapboxed by Rich's meaty arms

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>>42767008
4 URNS!

I have oil in my kitchen

>Rich's grave becomes a Mecca for /fit/ bros
>Every year in the third and fourth week of August hundreds of fitness freaks descend upon Florida, ranging from the DYELs to cut from stone sculpted god
>They fill the cemetery to capacity, spilling out in the sorrounding grounds and streets, every one of them carrying at least two dumbbells, some with bars strapped to their backs
>Someone still brought a whole cable machine
>Others carry gigantic speakers
>The clock strikes 9am on August 25th, the crowd let's out a simultaneous cry of "FOUR SCOOPS CMON"
>Everyone proceeds to engage in a 8-hour arm workout with the 8 hour cut of Rich's channel song playing

>>42766730
I did meet him tho

>>42767814
>a whole cable machine
Thanks lad I kek'd

>>42767814
>8 hour cut of Rich's channel song playing
Performed live buy Daft Punk

>>42766730
don't

>>42767814
Almost choked on my twelfth meal reading that

>>42767008
>rich piana dies
>they read his will and final wishes
>"I want to be cremated, and have a small amount of my ashes mixed into each bag of my new line of protein powder"
>family in tears, somewhat disgusted, but comply with his wishes nonetheless
>one month later, they launch the most revolutionary product in the history of supplements
>Protiana powder
>each scoop contains 0.001mg of Rich's ashes
>america's obesity epidemic ends, replaced with a hypertrophy epidemic
>so many gains due to the concentrated energy from the piano man's soul
>one scoop will grow your arms by 3" in a single day
>two scoops leads to a 50% chance of death
>four scoops and you will truly leave humanity behind
>so many people leave humanity behind that populations decrease world wide
>by 2020 the total population will be only 1.5 billion
>a terrible accident causes a spill of protiana powder in the atlantic ocean
>fish are crawling out of the oceans, dragging themselves out with their 20" arms
>whales get so big they literally cant swim
>entire aquatic ecosystem falls apart
>throws the land ecosystems off balance as well
>those who havent left humanity behind perish, their world crumbling day by day
>Piano man... What have you done...

If you are gonna kill yourself at least bring a politician with. I dont personally care, but preferably one that fucks with privacy or supports Israel.

>>42766730
I met him at the Arnold fitness expo here in Columbus. I didn't say any meme shit to him or anything, but he shook my hand and we took a picture and had a minor exchange of small talk. Super nice dude.

His hands were soft as fuck, no homo

>>42772241
>supports Israel
literally any politician in the current century

LOL you never met him??

>>42772275
But seriously, he had terrible lighting at the Arnold and there is no camera trick that can substitute his lean mass. It was like nothing I'd ever seen..

>>42771436
Kek

>>42772263
post pic

>>42772267
It fucking sucks man. I hate jews so god damn much.

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I'll honor his legacy by blasting and cruising as well as getting a hair transplant