>Be me >Get my Rascal Scooter in the Mail >Fuck yea

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>Be me
>Get my Rascal Scooter in the Mail
>Fuck yea no more losing gains walking to and from the car
>Get in half squat getting on and off car
>More gains for me
>Go to Store to get dinner
>8 Rotisserie Chickens
>All dat protein
>Go to checkout
>Girl at register looks at chickens, then at me, then at chickens again
>She mirin the gains
>Mirin the bulk
>Mirin the bulge
>Got doctor's appointment next day, eat and go to bed
>Gotta be in peak condition
>Next day, get to doctors office
>Nurse takes my height and weight
>Catch her mirin too
>Go into office
>Turns out Doctor's some DYEL faggot
>He's 6' 3", maybe 230 lbs at best
>mfw doctor's a total gains goblin
>mfw doctor tells me it's not healthy to be 6' 0" and 550 lbs
>mfw doctor tells me gains I've been feeling in my abs is colon cancer that needs to be operated on
>mfw doctor tells me that leg gains are actually diabetes and that my legs need to be amputated


Gains goblins stories. Why can't they just let us bulk in peace /fit/?