Post autistic things you do in the gym For example when I'm

Hahhahahhaha

No matter how much you bench you will never be un-molested

I pretend I'm one of Alexander the Great's troops, getting swole for the conquest of Persia

>>42615176
I pretend I'm lifting a metal bar

>>42615176
pretty dark desu

>>42615176
When I'm done squatting I place the bar on the highest point of the rack so manlets can't reach it

>>42615176
That's not autistic, more like pathological.

>>42615176
When I'm grinding out a rep in the bench press I pretend I'm molesting my 8 year-old step son

>>42615260
i pretend its a wooden bar from the times of old

>>42615291
Kek, gonna start doing that

>>42615176
when im grinding out a rep when i row i pretend im pulling my step son onto my dick

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>>42615176
Sometimes if I'm pretty high I pretend I'm pushing a car off me or something. Or like I'm training to fight Frieza. Otherwise it's just business as usual

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After my upper body day, I go back through and do all my lifts and accessory movement til failure. Not only does it make people think I'm an autist who only did one set of everything, but it does give me a great pump. Any actual benefits besides the pump?

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>dance to my music between sets
>walk in circles between sets

>>42615176
include me in the screencap! hi /r/4chan XD

>>42615397
faggot

>>42615389
home gym master race

>>42615373
How many upper body days do you have a week? Also, you'd probably get decent hypertrophy but I don't think it's good for building strength. Plus you fatigue yourself too much.

>>42615176
Sometimes when it I catch a dyel in the smith machine while Im benching I'll unrack one of his weights and put it on my bar inbetween his sets. If he never contests me about it Ill just keep benching business as usual. If he doesnt come back then he failed the rite of passage.

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>>42615176
>doctor studying pediatrics
>see kid in clinic just now
>she has chronic constipation
>going through dietary history
>"she drinks 4 cups of milk a day"
>h-how big are the cups...?
>"not the extra large from McDonald's, but the normal large"
>large soda cup from McD's is 32 oz
>4 x 32 = 128 oz = 1 gallon
>8 year old girl is literally on gomad
>all of the autistic memes in my brain are unleashed
>think of pic related
>really fucking struggling to finish the history and exam without looking like an insane person
>"GOMAD? Don't mind if I do! Hahahahehee! "

These moments almost make me think med school was worth it.

>>42615485
I'm doing 2 per week, 2 legs, back, and upper body, through my routine isn't exactly limited to these areas, just the majority of my lifts revolve around them.
Here's my routine:
FRIDAY/MONDAY:
-bench DB 5x5/4x8
-upright row 5x6/4x8
-Flys 5x6/4x8
-DB incline bench 5x6/4x8
-Tricep Extension 5x6/4x8
-Russian Twists 4x30 (15 per side)
-bicep curl 5x6/4x8

SATURDAY/TUESDAY:
-Squat 5x5/4x8
-forward lunges 3x6/2x8
-back lunges 2x6/2x8
-Overhead Press 4x8/5x6
-calf raises 5x6/4x8
-leg curls 5x6/4x8
-leg extension 5x6/4x8
-side & rear delt raises 5x6/4x8

WEDNESDAY/SUNDAY:
-Clean 5x5/4x8
-Hyper extensions 5x6/4x8
-Pull Up 4x6/ 3x8
-Lat pulldown 5x6/4x8
-shrugs 4x8/5x6
-bent over row DB 5x6/4x8
-hyper extensions 5x6/4x8
-Farmer's carry 3xheavy/4xlighter

When I'm struggling a rep I think to myself "she will love me after this".

>daily run
>Always do a full-blown sprint for the last tenth mile
>Imagine I'm some spec ops hardass running to an extraction point
M-maybe one day

>>42615435
i support this post

>>42615176
I browse 4chan between sets while being afraid that someone will frogpost and someone at the gym will look at my phone and see pepe and think i'm a nazi

I imagine my oneitis watching me during the last rep
;_;

>>42616009
>Not being more afraid of hardcore pornography appearing on your phone for everyone to see
It's happened to me, people definitely saw

>>42616009
Iktfb

>>42615921
cringed hard

>>42615176
So what happens when you fail anon?

Whenever I do cardio I keep telling myself "this is for pussy this is for pussy"

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>>42615196

That's where you're wrong kiddo

I have a sneaking suspicion that once I hit 350 for a double all my insecurities and intense neurotic tendencies caused by this will melt away

>>42615291
Nice, going to copy this

>>42615389
I pace in circles and mouth the the words to songs some times.

>>42615373
>pic
right in the feels

>>42615291
Thanks for the idea. Nothing more annoying than when a manlet leaves it on a lower point of the rack. If you're going to use the big boy equipment put moveable parts back to the position suitable for the average man when you're done.

>>42615176
>Post autistic things you do in the gym
When I finish a series I just stand there. Waiting and counting. No music. No phone. Just mentally counting the seconds until the next series.

>>42615176
>>42615196
Fucking lost

When squatting i pretend I'm an ox that needs to pull the plow to the end of the field. I think of myself as a working animal, strong and durable with huge legs.

When it comes to bench I imagine I'm fighting off a killer who wants to stab me.

>>42615176
Green text the molestation, did he make you suck it, or did he impale you?

>>42615513
Rofl

>>42617174
you do some glaring and intense breathing too? you will scare the other customers

>>42615921
Cringed d e s u, hard.

>>42615323
>my wife's son

>>42615245
I do this but I'm a Space Marine

>>42617149
Hahaha gg anon

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>>42615176
I imagine Goku blocking the blast attack from beerus in dragons ball pee pee pooper

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>>42617180

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>>42617149
>put moveable parts back to the position suitable for the average man when you're done.

No.

>>42615921
Le Cringe XDDDDDDDDDDDD

I listen to audiobooks of biographies

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If I have one set left and someone asks me how many sets I have left, I say two, and then I actually do two.
I guess I dont want them to think im giving the equipment up just because they asked

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>>42615389
>walk in circle between sets

fuck I do this too. Every once in a while Ill realize how autistic I must look

>>42618628
>was only gonna do one set in the first place and doesn't wanna look like a fag

>>42618648
I do this too but I also squat 365 for reps so I like to think people are watching me with awe at my lifts rather than in awe of my autism

i listen to this during heavy sets

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-gSJW3sHXE

(on VERY low volume so noone can hear it)

it gets me psyched up dont know why

>>42616161
he takes an longer shower than usual

>>42617174
Vegeta?

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>>42615513

Man this made me laugh so hard

>>42615291
Joke's on you, I can just wheel a bench over and stand on it!

>>42615176
I moan will sporting a tent, because it's insanely pleasurable.

>>42615176
I convert the wight to various mesurments based ony kylie minoughe holding small animals and fruit and imaginge thats what im lifting for example I ches press to kylies and i deadlift one kylie holding an advark

>>42615176
good thread

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>>42615513

Run my normal 10x4 set until I see someone mirin my gains. Then 4x my weight and go for a max 5 x 2.

Walk over and ask if they want to try that weight.

1% of the time it works 100% of the time. Usually they just blush and giggle.

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>>42619028
What did he mean by this?

>>42619067

Wrong .jpg. Sorry.

>>42618691
This is the most autistic thing in this thread

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>>42617784
Little more like this.

I keep my earbuds in the whole time but I don't listen to anything.

>>42615323
Kek

>>42615176
I usually pretend that I'm molesting my 8 year old whenever i bench

When im pushing out that last rep, i think of holding down my step son because hes "acting up"

>>42619018
wow

i do this every time i enter the weight room

people seem to get pumped by it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9t1OmKyoac

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>>42615176
Sometimes I lose count on my reps and sets because I'm daydreaming 80% of the time I'm awake. It's worse when I start daydreaming during rests and stay like 3 min just sitting there, staring at nothing. I must look really fucking stupid.

>>42615323
kek
>>42619018
hmm

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After I success the bench press

I pretty much want to do this

>>42615245
this

>Really loud when I'm about to reach failure. Hissing, panting, screaming etc.
>Just walk around, stand, sit between sets doing nothing
>Laugh uncontrollably from time to time when I remember a funny
>Dance when nobody's watching
>Yell with the gym owner calling working out sex
>greet everyone at the gym individually when someone arrives or leaves
>Practice walking like a Chad between sets

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>>42615176
>on 1rm
>bar starts to come back down to my chest oh heck
>pretend I'm in the olympics, world-class lifter
>pretend waifu is in the sidelines cheering me on
>do 5 reps
>reality comes back
>at least I made some gains

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>>42615291
>tfw this has already happened to me
Being 5'8" is suffering

>>42615977
One day you may

>RIP Rick Piano

>>42615176
I count how many gulps of water i take from the fountain in my head and i cant stop doing it

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>>42615176
>bar that close to his neck

LMAO hello shit form, goodbye shoulders.

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I always picture myself winning a race of some sort, or picture myself kicking down doors in Afghanistan single handily blasting insurgents in the head with my M4.

Going room to room, clearing the whole building with sweat dripping down my face.

Play Super Bass when I need to grind out a difficult set.
Hold the weights in my hands till my song gets to a good bit.

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>>42615513

Stare at grills with the thicc ass' and then look away when they at are at me.

One had an ass like a watermelon doing some meme at the cable machine. Go up and do 15 pullups no problem. Walk off and she look very impressed.
Then when pushing out heavy reps I think that if I do more than last week then I'm one step closer to eating out every fitfu in here.

>>42619018
go on....

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>>42615291
STOP

>>42615291
I do this too but I put all the plates on the bar as well

>post autistic things you do in the gym

I dont go to the gym. I workout at on my own equipment at home. That's pretty autistic.

>>42619018
Fucking lost it

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Sometimes when I'm going for a PR or about to do a set thats going to be a real grind to finish I'll silently talk shit to myself, usually in my head, but sometimes I'll whisper it super quietly if nobody else is nearby.
>just lift it you fucking pussy
>pick it up you bitch
>cmon you faggot its not even that heavy
Stuff like that.

>>42615176
For heavy sets, I listen to Classical music and when the tenor hits the high notes my eyes get really wide and I imagine I'm singing it too. I'm a singer, so nothing gets me more pumped than having a great performance. This helps me simulate that feeling in the gym for better gains.

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>>42615291
i have new purpose in life

>>42615389
I walk around the gym after every set. I don't know why but I can't just stand there and wait. I gotta walk around, maybe dance around a little if I'm in a really good mood

i just lift the cunt

>>42615176
I posted it before but:

>wear chalk like warpaint
>do a special diddly day dance with my spotter every time we walk in the gym
>scream dumb shit about it being "NUTTIN BUT A PEANUT"
>make eye contact with everyone else through at least 2 mirrors and don't break gaze until they do
>do 531
>wear a shirt thats a giant pic of my buddy eating a sandwich on diddlydoo day because it gives me POWA
>comandeer the PT office for a post lift review while drinking gainz shakes with spotter
>ask people on the treadmills how many sets they got left

i dont rerack weights then laugh at the cunts who clean up after me

I pretend I at the Olympics

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>>42615176
when i'm trying to push myself to get one more rep, i imagine the fuhrer is encouraging me. telling me to be strong for my people.

>>42615176
You shouldnt have lead him on slut

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>>42619018

>>42615323
Kekd

>>42615176

I like to make faces like Rich Piana and grunt.

>>42615176
after each rep I whisper "hey hey" to myself

I like to talk shit to the weight like it's a fatty.

> Yeah bitch thought I couldn't lift your heavy ass?

Usually only in my head but it's slipped out before and I got weird looks.

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>>42618995
mfw I thought that I couldn't laugh harder

>>42615323
Lel. Me too anon.

>>42615176
Are you lifting so you can beat him to death with your fists?

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>>42615324
I hate you so much for this post

>>42615176
im 6'7 and there were 2 guys taller than me at the gym today so i stood on my tiptoes while my feet where inside my shoes so i didn't feel like a manlet

>>42615176
>pace all over the gym
>do air guitar and headbang after a set, if it went well


I'm an animal

>>42618691
I listen to it aswell, but everyone near me can hear it.