>started working out >find Rich Piana on YouTube >decide

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>started working out
>find Rich Piana on YouTube
>decide I want to be a 5%er
>natty
>vegan
>organic
>get 5%er merchandise
>eat 5 meals every 6 hours
>always maintain dick to ball ratio higher than 5
>Whatever it takes
>go to the gym one day, still kind of new, been working out for 6 months now making gains
>about to go do my 8 hour arm workout
>nobody but the guy who works at the counter is there
>scan my key card and start with my routine triple quickscope jackhammer bicep extensions that Rich said would make me huge in his video
>BAM
>BAM
>BAM
>ground shaking
>giant shadow makes it hard to see
>turn around
>juiced up monster, probably taking hgh
>"aye white boy you better move over for this bbc"
>It's Kali muscle
>a 5%er never stands down
>muster up strength to mumble "no" under my breath
>he says "watchu jus say to me boy"
>FOR RICH
>"I SAID NO, I'M A 5%ER, GODDAMMIT"
>he chugs down some hyphy mud
>hold on to my tub of sweet potato pie real food in preparation for what is to come
>his hand goes up
>everything is in slow motion
>a thick fog fills the gym, making it difficult to see
>tvs turn off
>music turns off
>lights turn off
>just me and kali muscle standing in the dark
>I hear a whisper in my ear
>"Good morning, goddammit"
>confused at first
>realize what's happening
>the legend is true
>a figure forms from the fog in front of me, standing between me and kali, facing kali
>bigger than kali
>buffer than kali
>roider doesn't stand a chance against an all natural vegan 5%er
>Grabs kalis hand, still in the mid swing position it was in before the fog appeared
>rips his arm off
>roider is putting up a fight
>rich starts having a bit of trouble
>Searing hot natty gel explodes from his arms and chest
>it vaporizes kali muscle
>He looks at me, I know what I must do
>I pull my pants down, turn around, and get on all fours
>he whips out his massive natty syringe
>It's so thick and long, perfect dick to ball ratio, dripping hot vegan sauce