>be me >out with old fatty friends from highschool >at

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>be me
>out with old fatty friends from highschool
>at cafe for lunch
>"wow anon you must work out"
>look them dead in the eyes
>"nope never, just eat lots"
>see them get jealous, fatty 1 grumbles about his metabolism
>waitress comes over
>say before anyone else can, "I'll have a double cheeseburger with extra fries and fry sauce, I'd also like four over easy eggs, hash browns with extra sour cream, and french toast"
>fatties are gaping at me
>fatty 1 orders an omelette, then suddenly decides to make it two
>restrain myself from laughing
>waitress oogles me, calls me a "big strong man" and leaves
>"you see how much she wanted a tip?" fatty 1 says like she didn't mean it
>bluntly reply "no"

That was a very good lunch.