Any anons here struggle with suicide? Did getting /fit/

Nah it only made it worse when I realised being aesthetic doesn't change shit.

I've also known a few of people on bodybuilding.com forums who where shredded as fuck who've killed them selves.

>>42233941
I'm less suicidal and depressed after getting /fit/ but I still find myself waking up and wishing I died in my sleep.

gf tried to khs, fitness helps her

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>>42234104
I have no idea about your situation, or hers, but I really feel for you dude

i had a bipolar gf that threatened to kill herself for years that basically held my beta self hostage in a relationship and it really hurts to look back and see I literally wasted like, 1/12th of my life on that shit

literally one of every 12 minutes or 5 minutes of every hour I will EVER live was spent on someone manipulating me

#yolo

It helps, sometimes helps a lot.

Isn't helping as much these days.

>>42233941
yes, struggling to find the right building to jump off of

>>42233941
Yes
No

No
Some days you feel fine others you shitpost and see pics of people that have been working out for less time than you have and already look better and are much stronger and them you remember you are still kissless virgin with no friends,job or future and that you won't become jack shit in life so you wanna kill yourself but you ate too much off a pussy to do it so your depression turns into anger and you keep pushing away people that care about you so you go back to feeling lonely and it's not like you ever stopped feeling like that
So yeah it helps sometimes

>>42233941
Yeah
Instead of thinking about depressing things I keep thinking about fitness

>>42233941
Listen to some Linkin Park

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>>42233941
Yeah.
I'm sure if I had a gun with me right now I'd put it against my temple and pull the trigger.

Before I suicide I want to do some terrible shit to my body, like taking copious amounts of ecstacy, coke, ketamine, go out and be loud and party hard at a rave/festival or something for once in my life since I was always the quiet kid.

Nab a qt girl and give her the best fuck of my short life

Then during the hangover the next day I can finally off myself knowing I peaked right then and there as far as happiness goes, even if it was artificial.

>>42235711
>Before I suicide I want to do some terrible shit to my body
Holy shit i thought it was just me
Recently i've been getting those urges just to pull all of my fucking teeth out
I-I'm normal,r-right guys?

I have some passing thoughts about it once in a while.

I will never come close to actually doing it though, even though I have many insecurities and things I don't like about myself I honestly don't want to die. Also I could not do that to my family.

I have no hope for this world, its people, or its future. If I were to kill myself, which is often tempting, it would ultimately amount to nothing. Curiosity keeps me going. Another day alive is another day you learn something, and that's basically what keeps me going.

>>42233941
Christ you people are pathetic.

>>42235711
Been alwaysa quiet kid. But went on raves and shit. Just a warning. Those drugs dont make you loud at all. And you will realize more than half the guys on raves are also real quiet kids who dont talk and only dance and drink. Chads will be chads with or without drugs in whatever enviroment htey are put. You wont be one with drugs.

>>42235811
We already know that.

>>42235754
>pull all of my fucking teeth out
Whoa man I'm taking about doing shit that makes me feel good in the moment but I know will wreck my body in the long run, like smoking or snorting drugs

Shit man you're in enough pain as it is, just make the suicide a little more painless. Like you're finally lifting that elephant off your chest

>>42235826
I dont know family i just wanna hurt

>>42234552
Similar situation, luckily only lasted 3 years before SHE actually broke it off by cheating on me
Every single day I'd be on call and most nights she'd call me at 2 AM telling me she was really gonna do it and I'd have to think up a way to convince her not to.
I like to say it made me who I am today but when I think about those years I realize how much it fucked me up mentally.
/blog

>>42235839
Why do you think you deserve to be in pain?

>>42235855
Because i am a piece of shit with no future and would be better off dead but im too much of a pussy to kms

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>>42235813
I've been to a couple festivals and raves too, man. I know what drugs makes me introverted (LSD, weed, ket) and what gets me social and going (mdma).

But yeah sadly you're right. There's a documentary about EDC Vegas, and I remember this one quote where it was something like "That quiet kid in the lunchroom now has a place where he belongs (raving)" and that's kind of how I feel.

getting /fit/ puts things in perspective. u realize that the depression runs deeper than your appearance & it propels you to find meaning elsewhere

>>42235869
I'm a piece of shit too, man. I'm currently in the military, but I'm 20 years old, started blasting and cruising, and I go party and do drugs.

I slept with 2 married women so far
I pushed away every girl who liked me because I don't deserve love
I do a lot of shitty things

Not trying to turn this onto me, I'm just saying I know your type of pain. I really wish I had the answer to your situation, but honest to god man I just fucking don't. I only know how to push it down with drugs. I'm sorry. You don't deserve to feel so small man.

>>42233941
No, I'm insecure about my body now.

>>42235901
does weed make the walls close in around you? i know that feel :/

>>42236067
I've had plenty of experience with weed where it doesn't make me anxious, but I just turn anti-social and introverted.

LSD on the other hand....insane paranoia coming up.

>>42235538
Honestry nobody cares about me except for my family at this point.

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>>42233941
Sounds like utter bullshit but I actually wanted to die the first time I listened to "In the Aeroplane over the Sea", I never knew it was supposed to be such a depressing song either, I just thought if I would have stood at the edge of a tall building right then I would have just jumped.
Life feels like such a drag so often, no point going on when you think nothing you do matters in the long run and that even though you're not just smart bit also good looking and big nobody will ever really love you. Perhaps I am at fault for everything but I don't know.

Lifting has taken over everything in my life and while it gives a lot it also takes away a lot, I used to always have some passion but this one is the one I managed to hold onto the longest.

I am also unironically becoming a Nazi.

>>42236000
Me too, mate, 20 years old first year military and I don't really think it's my thing, I think I'd rather study.

>>42236210
What branch you in man? I'm a greenside doc myself over here.

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>>42233941
Ive already decided on driving my motorcycle across the country and jumping off a bridge when my parents die

>>42235754
>>42235711
I've always wanted to overkill myself so hard that it approaches on some strange ironic dark humor territory.

Slit my wrists while hanging from a noose that dangles my feet into a bathtub that has a toaster in it while breathing into an escape bag and shooting myself in the head after downing a bottle of sleeping pills and cyanide. With a suicide note that just says "FUCK".

>>42233941

Fitness doesn't help, it's just my way of passing time until I have to throw myself off Cave Hill. A comedian make a joke along the lines of "people tell you life is short...no it's not. Life is long...especially if make all the wrong decisions.

I made all the wrong decisions, I can't fix things and my life is on a permanent downward trajectory from now until I end it.

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>>42236255

>>42236235
I'm German and right now I supposed to be a tank commander, I want to get into med stuff though, cut my time and go out in 3 years, I want to study I think.
I made bad decisions but it's not easy to decide stuff when you have no fucking clue about army stuff, I just wanted to get some dosh after school

>>42233941
If I never lifted I would be dead right now.

I lay down in front of a train and got hit, some metal thing in front of the wheel impaled me in the abdomen and I was stuck on there until it stopped.

If my core was less developed it would have gone further into me and killed me but unfortunately it did not.

>>42236448
That's what I am afraid of too, but there are many things you could do, becoming a criminal seems like such a great experience sometimes. Imagine the rush of adrenaline

>>42236536
Holy shit, that's metal as fuck anon.
Where are you from?

>>42233941
Sometimes I wonder what It would be like to find a real friend, someone that would do anything for you and that you'd do anything for as well

>>42236578
There are some girlfriends there are that way. I'd have dropped mine already if she didn't like taking care of me soo much. I'm kind of dependent of her now I guess.

>>42236547
They do say that if you've genuinely prepared to kill yourself (the scariest thing anybody can do is die) then you shouldn't be scared to do anything else.