Thread replies: 11
Thread images: 3
Thread images: 3
Does anyone else roleplay while squat pooping?
I typically pretend that I am a pregnant neanderthal women being chased by an intruding tribe of homo sapiens. I have been separated from my tribe mates. My biological imperative is survival, and my children.
The feeling comes. A tingling in the bottom end. I enter my squat position ready to be the vehicle of the mystery and miracle that is life. I plant my feet firmly, and enter a perfect squat position. The energy swells, I feel it racing up my spine. Heart rate increasing, the feeling is bordering on erotic.
Its happening, the pressure, the energy. I channel the goddess earth energy through my feet, and pull it up to my crown chakra. I concentrate the energy and send it down my spine to the root chakra. I am giving birth. The pseudoerotic sensation of my asshole being spread by a massive Bristol Type 3 only motivated me further. The sweat is dripping now and I am transcending the physical plane. I push and push, and finally the turd leaves me. I am grateful for the new life I have just birthed, but slightly nostalgic and sad that my pleasure is over.
What else do you guys do for gains?
>>
I lift
>>
>people actually do this
>>
>>42209719
>Pretends to be Neanderthal
But
>Talks about focusing chakras
Alright m8
>>
>>42210128
Hinduism is the oldest religion, neanderthals probably invented it
>>
>>42209719
>squat pooping
I live in a first world country, son.
>>
>>42209719
How many bong puffs did you take before writing this shit?
>>
>>42209719
squatting gave me hemorrhoids. stopped squatting, hemorrhoids gone. dumb meme shit, don't listen to the internet.
>>
File: 1500108774107.jpg (40KB, 640x307px) Image search:
[Google]
40KB, 640x307px
>>42209719
>have sharp pain in my intestines
>feel like I'm gonna die
>lay down on my side
>can feel the gas passing through my bowels
>pretend I'm a house cat giving birth
>groaning from the pain sounds like deep "meows" now that I think about it
>farts come out in really small packets of rancid ass air
>after each one the pain is a little less intense so I double over and smell the area around my ass
>realize it's almost like I'm inspecting my kittens
>only do this for the first 2-3 farts because all the ones after that have the same smell
>feel really fucking ashamed after it's over
>>
File: 1478673937250.gif (494KB, 387x305px) Image search:
[Google]
494KB, 387x305px
>>42210128
>mfw this guys chakras are clearly out of alignment
>>
>>42209719
Sometimes a bit of shit gets stuck right at the end of a giant turd so I start wiggling my butt around like I'm a bitch getting some big fat dog dick to fuck me right there. As the shit leaves I curve my back to the front as if I just took a massive dick in there and start shaking and making hiccups-sorta whispery sounds. And then the next one starts pushing through... over and over..
Thread posts: 11
Thread images: 3
Thread images: 3